Tech N9ne (feat. Krizz Kaliko) - BUS INVADERS (Revisited) Ep. 288 [2013]

You gotta have your Sweet Baby Ray's, it goes on everything. Honey Buns, you put them motherfuckers in the microwave for 10 seconds, oh my god, you can eat them for breakfast. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time, do we? What's up? What? Hey, it's that camera ************ again, man. Come on, man. Let's get it. If it's going down, let's get it over with. What's up, camera guy? They said you wanted to check out our bus. I really don't know anything about the front part of the bus. I know this is somebody's laundry. This is what you call a star coach. And once we get to the back, I'll... Who are you? Who am I? Oh, I'm Tech N9ne, if you don't know. I'll be the one they call Tech N9ne, the number one independent artist in the world, they say. You know what I mean? This is Chris Calico, he's the number one artist in the world, period. I'm the man sitting next to the ************. He'll show you everything in his quarters. I mean, this is not really his quarters, but this is where he kicks it. You know what I mean? I'm going to show you my quarters in a minute. It's a box about this big. Yeah, that's actual, man. He's foreign. Foreign to this whole thing. He's foreign. Yeah, and he makes this foreign food. It's wonderful. Look at this. Look what he made us. Oh, I wasn't done with it, man, because there wasn't no rice to put it on. And we was going to go get some rice. I got to make it better. Damn. The niggas were scared of it because it was green. I didn't give a ****. I ate some. You know what I'm saying? It looked like some Star Trek ----. I was loving the crawfish, dude. It looked like Shrek's diarrhea. Yeah, man. I dug it. No, I'll make a better one. But the niggas ate all the rice, so I didn't have no rice to put on. I know he eats rice. Yeah. I didn't eat none. I didn't eat none because it looked like Shrek's diarrhea. Well, the food that I was going to show you is out of the refrigerator, but Axl makes wonderful gumbo and all kinds of dishes. Oxtail, rice and beans. It's just regular ---- in the refrigerator because I'm a spoiled brat, so I eat out. I eat out. He does eat out. Ladies, Sweet Baby Ray's. You got to have your Sweet Baby Ray's. It goes on everything. You know what I'm saying? Sweet Baby Ray's goes on everything. Even though we're from Kansas City and we love Gates and Jack Stack and Elsie's and all the barbecue places, Smokehouse and everybody in Kansas City. What's up? Chris likes Thousand Island on everything. You know what I'm saying? He'll put it on his eggs. I'm black, so I like strawberry jam. Somebody fucked up and got me jelly and it's harder to spread and ----, but it's all good. I still use it. Nobody uses it but me. Is that why you like jam instead of jelly? Yeah, yeah. I like that. I didn't know that's why you like it. Yeah, yeah. Show the ************ the ----, Chris. All right. Calico's been a fat guy for a long time. I used to be about 360 pounds. I'm about 275-ish. When you're on tour, man, you got to eat a little healthier. I do anyway. This is what he drinks. That's what I drink. I drink this. He drinks that. Yeah, you can tell the difference. The difference is littler than me, but he just can't actually abuse his body, and he's fine. Me, I got to eat healthy, and I'm trying to lose fat. We got that. Cabbage, you know, we black, so we got hot sauce. And Tabasco. But, see, I do, once again, organic coconut oil. **** that ----. And hold up. This is what you got to have, man, if you don't know, man. You got to have apple cider vinegar, man. Apple cider vinegar is important, man, for me. And I got the whole tour on it. I got the whole tour on it, actually, except for these. Except for everybody over here who don't give a **** if they die tomorrow. He is the pseudo-tour nutritionist, if you let him tell it. But look at these motherfuckers, though. Look at them. Look at this. Will somebody look at this? Look at him. Ain't nobody going to say nothing about me when they see me on TV. They be like, that ************ look right. But look at you two motherfuckers. I'm saying. I'm just saying, like, I'm not trying to look like this. He don't give a ****. Neither does he. So anyway. But he's not that big. But anyway. They want to try to say the calico corner. This is the calico corner, for real. Peanut butter, rice cakes, Atkins bars, nuts, ---- like that. That's what I eat. And this is what they eat. Let me show you this. This is what they eat. They eat this. And that. And this. This is my ---- right here. Honey buns. You put them motherfuckers in the microwave for 10 seconds. Oh, my God. You can eat them for breakfast. It's all beautiful. I don't eat the Oreos that much. You know what I'm saying? You eat the **** out of the Nutter Butter. I love Nutter Butter. Cookies frozen with an ice cold glass of milk will put you to bed. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. This is what he eats. Popcorn. And hot dogs. And so we call him Pop Dog. We call him Pop Dog. Popcorn, hot dogs. Pretty much that's it, man. You know, silverware. You know, your basic necessities. We got a microwave. We got the Keurig. You got to have the Keurig because a lot of guys drink coffee, tea, stuff like that in the morning. That's the ice chest over there. Looks like I keep my beers. I found one. Ice chest for party, tea time. Yeah, it is. That's pretty much it, man. We sit up here. We watch TV. I play Grand Theft Auto V. You know what I mean? Nobody else play video games or nothing like that. I'll take you to the real ----. Come on. This was the real ----. This is why they call it a star coach. Well, it's a gang of stars in the moment because they get condo bunks. You know what I'm saying? Sleep like vampires. Open it up. No, I'm not opening your ******* bunks up. You know what I'm saying? There might be something in there. Somebody in there. These are condo bunks. They're not small bunks. That means if you look... Open my ---- up. No. You think I'll open yours up here? Open my ---- up. They're from here to here. You can get on top of somebody in there. You know what I'm saying? It's a condo bunk. You know those other bunks, man? It'd be like right here. You know what I'm saying? It'd be like a coffin. I've been in them at the beginning. A really big guy sleeps in that one. Hey, look at Chris Calico's at the bottom. Oh, yeah. Real Chris Calico. Somebody's in there. That's usually what's out there. Calico corner. You know what I'm saying? These are the condo bunks. Of all my homies. That's the tour manager. I won't open his ---- up because he probably got nasty movies in there. But this is why they call him a star coach. Because there's a dude that's supposed to be the star that lives back here. That's by the name of Tech N9ne. I'm into horror and ----. I keep masks. Everywhere. Tech N9ne masks. Everywhere. You know what I'm saying? That one. Some memorabilia from my video with Serge Tonkin of System of a Down. A fan threw me this one. I said I wasn't giving it back. So I'm into that ----. Of course, I'm into strange music because that's my label. You know what I'm saying? Somebody took my ******* Evil Dead. Okay, my Lords of Salem is right here. My Evil Dead was right here. I think Jose, my assistant tour manager, took it. I Spilled on Your Grave, the original one. The original one. The new one's not bad either. You know what I'm sizzling. Of course, everybody loves Lana Del Rey. You know what I'm saying? She's amazing. Everybody doesn't have **** Action 38, but I think that's one of the best ones. You know what I'm saying? If you like chopped and screwed music, you see I'm running through this really quick. I keep my 3D glasses because I'm three-dimensional. You know what I'm saying? All the time. A fan gave me this. They made it. Strange music. It's beautiful. I just bought Kanye and Jay-Z. I've been playing it a lot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Holy Grail. You know what I'm saying? Magna Carta. It's beautiful. This is my favorite band back in the day. The Doors. That's my boy Jim Morrison laying down right there. You know, he's the reason why I came up with this wonderful idea to call this Strange Music because I'm a big Doors fan. Thank God for the Doors music. They're on my new album, something else. You know what I'm saying? This other guy right here. I think I am lyrically Michael Myers. It's everywhere. In my home, I have a clown shrine. You know what I'm saying? Come on further in here. That's my TV on the wall. This is stuff that fans give me. You know, they make me really nice paintings and stuff. I have a gang of them but I only put certain ones up. You know what I mean? I'm taking these home to put in my home somewhere. I just keep it right there. You know what I'm saying? It's really wonderful. This is the condom drawer. You know what I'm saying? I'm low. You know what I'm saying? I started out with 36. Now it's only 3. 36 just went away just like that. I need to get more condoms because I keep them to give them. Anyway. Come on back. This is my shower. Hold on. Let me see. This is my bathroom. Another TV right here. Of course I'm a spoiled brat. I have the revolving clothing hangers and ----. You know what I'm saying? I have this revolving closet. When I want to wear something that I really like like my hood right here. You know what I mean? I can just push this button and go around. Actually, I can fit a person if I want to wear my Gucci. I have my Gucci on the deck. I can actually fit a person back here. You know what I'm saying? You can actually get in here sit up in here with somebody. You know what I'm saying? Talking to her and then lay her down. If you want to but I've never done that. You know what I'm saying? It's a lot of room. This is my shower. Boom. I can turn the red light on. And the ---- will come on. You know what I'm saying? The music will come on if I'm playing music. Actually, the water comes from right here. You know, I got it set to come out right there just in case I want to wash my midsection. You know what I mean? A beautiful bus. These are my shoes. Paying attention to my nonsense from back in the day. I love those guys. I think, oh, I have I have drawers and ----. My underwear. T-shirts. Oh. Paperwork. Paperwork? Okay, I'll get that for you right now. Hold on. There it is. Thank you. Yeah. I got a secret compartment that I usually keep my liquor in but I drank it all so now for those lucky people that I think are special I get happiest **** bracelets by Motsan. You know what I'm saying? Gave me a big bag of them. Much love to Motsan. Got a lot of special people all over the world that I meet and yeah, man. You know, I'm sizzling. That's my quarters and I hope you like it. You ain't got to go home but you got to get the **** out of here, brother. Tech N9ne Strange Music will represent. Out.