"My Dad Wants To Trade My $250,000 Trust for $5,000"

Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> Basically, my grandfather had passed away about 5 years ago and he had left a trust to his three children. Um, and basically the way it had been set up is that after my father passed away, um, I would receive a lump sum. Um, each of those, uh, each sibling got a lump sum payment from that trust. Um, however, for my dad, he has been historically been bad with money and it was set up for him that he would receive payments annually in the trust. Um, and then once he passes away, I would receive the lumpsum. And after after this, he is basically saying that he wants to have me sign a document that releases the trust to him. And he plans to spend the money. And he's threatening me by bribing bribing me with $5,000 upfront. $5,000. How much is in the trust? >> From what I understand, whenever my grandfather was still around, um I believe his portion is between 250 and 300,000. >> So, you're going to trade, he's asking you to trade $300,000 for 5,000 bucks. From what it seems, he has said that he wants to take that lump sum and he wants to renovate his house because he is 63 years old. Um, he works as a lawyer and he wants to renovate his house. He wants to buy a new car and he claims that I will have the rest of the money. However, with his historic run of dealing with finances, I don't believe that there will be any money left. >> Hey, Jack. Hey, Jack. Quick question. You've used two words with us. You said threatened and and bribe. What What does that actually look like? I haven't heard any evidence of that. >> I would say it's it's definitely more so bribing. um him just throwing out one time he said the first time he said I'll get you $10,000. Then the second time we had talked about it he said that he would give me $5,000 upfront. Um >> okay so what kind of I mean I'm I'm sorry it it's it's just u the math is not mathing. I mean, he he's so illogical that he actually believes you would trade 5,000 for 250. That's just bizarre to me. >> I totally agree. >> What planet does he live on that he thinks you would do that? >> I don't know. >> I don't either. >> Okay. So, you're using words like bullied and bribed with your own father. Irresponsible about your own father. Your grandfather thought he was irresponsible. So, you're not going to do this? You had already decided that before you called, right? >> Yes. Okay. >> Yes. >> So, how can we help you? >> However, >> yes. Um, I really just want to know how to navigate that conversation with my father because, >> okay, you you want to know something that's impossible. It's impossible for you to take a man that is this unreasonable >> and make him reasonable with one conversation. That's not possible. Okay. So th this unreasonable man is going to have an unreasonable reaction to your reasonable no. There's no way you can frame a no that this guy's going to like it and he's going to go, "Oh, thank you, son. I just love you so much. I'm so proud of you." That's what you wish would happen. There's no conversation that does that because of what you're dealing with on the other side of this. You know, it's like petting a crocodile and going, "Nice crocodile. Nice crocodile." And hoping you don't get your arm bit off. Of course, you're going to get your arm bit off. It's a crocodile. So, you know, that's what we're dealing with. So, I I I wish I could make this make you have a good dad, but you don't. And so what I can do is just give you the real the real realistic expectation which is you preserve your dignity, your courage, your kindness, your integrity. That's the only thing you have control over. You don't have control over his reaction. So you gently and kindly say, "Dad, grandpa put this in place and I'm just going to abide by grandpa's wishes. Thanks for asking. I'm sorry it doesn't work for me and we're just going to leave the thing set up like it is. But thanks for asking. I I hope you can find another way to get your house renovated and get you a car since you're a lawyer and all. But and I'll be cheering for you cuz I love you and and he's still going to go bonkers, isn't he? >> Yes. >> Yeah. So 100% be expecting that. Anything less than bonkers, we'll call it gravy on the biscuit. We'll call it a bonus. But I'm counting on bonkers. Yeah, I Jack, I don't know if you've ever had surgery before, but I would say that your mindset here has got to be uh the same as going into surgery that you have to have. It's not fun. It's going to hurt. It's going to be some recovery time, but it absolutely has to happen. And on the other side of the surgery, you're going to be better off >> and there can be healing. >> That's right. And I think you have to go into this going, there's just no way. I think Dave framed it beautifully, but as a response to what Dave said, you've got to understand this is one of those situations in life that was forced on you. You cannot control your dad or the situation he's put you in, but you got to do what's best for you. So, that's the mindset. There's no way this is not going to suck. But on the other side, you're going to be better. >> Anytime you're setting a boundary with a boundaryless person, less is more. So, this is a very short, >> concise conversation. Okay? We're not going into a bunch of explanation or discussion of his character or the history of the family tree. We're not going to try to explain this to him. We're not going to go into a bunch of detail. It's a simple thing. Dad, you know, I love you and I've thought about this and I I think I'm just going to stick with grandpa's plan and that's what we're going to do. So, I hope it works out for you and I'll be cheering for you. and just that that that's what 10 seconds maybe of audio and that's all you need. The longer you talk, the more you're going to mess this up. So, I use that when over 35 years now of running a business on in the rare occasion that we actually have to let someone leave this place, we don't have long discussions. We've had long discussions up to that point trying to get them better, but the day they leave, it's like the decision has been made. Today is your last day. That's it. We don't go into why cuz why's been discussed in the 90 days previous. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your