BEAT UP AND BRUISED

Golf and I aren't getting along very much right [Music] now what's up guys welcome back Monday holiday Monday I hope you're enjoying your holiday Monday for me not much of a holiday I'm playing in the Cornwall open today I tea off at 2:00 so I'm just kicking it around the house here but it's a pretty busy few days cuz right from the end of the Corn Mall open I'm going to drive straight to Quebec City about 3 and 1/2 hours cuz I tee it up tomorrow morning in uh a two-day event on the ccpt if you remember from a few Vlogs ago when I missed the cut in St George's and I went and checked out this golf course this is the golf course we're playing this is why I played that practice round then because I wasn't going to get one in today so busy 3 days three competitive rounds it's going to be fun can't wait to take you guys along [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] I am all done today for the Cornwall open I'm currently on route to Quebec City how did it go today well it went awful I played really really well but the greens of Cornwall are that course his only defense and in the open they make the pins really really difficult and they kicked my out I three puted four times one being the h teeth hole where I basically just was so over the round I made such a mental mistake and I just three-putted from like 18 ft to shoot four over even par one even par was a playoff and I three putted four times and missed some other really makeable putts as well what makes it even better is 75 got paid and I frustratedly three puted 18 because I didn't care anymore hard lesson to be learned today I hold myself accountable this is this is my own fault this is my job and and there was moments where I just didn't take my job seriously and I got frustrated and when you're frustrated you do dumb things and when I do dumb things you make dumb bogeys that is what I did there's no reason I should have shot four overp par today with four birdies and and never being out of position the entire day but I did so that really sucks but I had a poutin after and that made me feel a little bit better got about 3 more hours to Quebec City and then I'm going to put this this tired face to sleep because I play at 11:15 tomorrow on the first round of a ccpt event and you know what I'm going to play well I'm going to putt well and above all I'm going to use this thing really well see you tomorrow [Music] guys good morning guys made it to the hotel last night really really easy really smoothly the drive was awesome a great sleep haven't slept very well before a tournament for a while in these in these random hotels and random beds but I slept well last night got a bit of time to kill you know what that means coffee time had my coffee we're at the golf course now it came about 25 minutes earlier than my usual time for a warm-up I just want to spend a bit more time on the greens work on a bit of technique because I haven't had much time to practice my putting in the last couple weeks so I just need to focus on that so that's why I'm adding a little bit of time to my warm up all other things uh considered it's going to be a fun day I'm really digging my outfit today we'll see you guys after round one I'm done it was awful I I tried my damnest but I hit it poorly like I just struggled to hit greens struggle to get the ball where I wanted it to go the only thing I did well today was putt I puted it really really really well and unfortunately the the good Swings with bad results just beat me up once again and I got a little frustrated right at the turn freaked out again and it cost me some Strokes so I shot Seven overpar 78 today like disgusting this field this tournament is only 60 players and 35 are getting paid I'm sitting outside of money right now like that's embarrassing that's so bad I need to play well tomor just to make some money in this tournament and not lose yet again all that being said there's a little bit of an upside as I was playing I was just really racking my brain as to why my ball flight with my irons and my wedges was just just so unpredictable and then when I finished my round I I had been thinking about it and talking about it with with the guys I was playing uh playing with cuz there were a couple friends of mine at had a great group today my irons unfortunately there was I guess a bit of a mistake somewhere in along the lines and my irons are actually half an inch short so that explains why for these last couple days I've been coming up short numbers have been off and I've been drawing the ball shorter clubs are going to lead you to do that and I hit a fade so it was just doing my head in and frustrating me so much because I felt like I was doing everything right and nothing good was happening so I texted the crew at tailor made and we've got new irons coming right away that's all good these things happen unfortunately it's it's affected me for a few rounds of golf so it's not the end of the world I will I will make it I will survive I'm putting my old irons back in play tomorrow so I can go out with some good peace of mind some good Clarity and know that my equipment's going to gonna follow through for me and I need to play well tomorrow to climb into a paycheck so guys fingers crossed good morning gang round two I'm off super early I'm in the third group um because I was the last score to come in at seven over so that means I'm the first seven over to go out third group 853 upside going to play really fast and have nice greens and I'm going to play well it's going to be a good day I promise it's going to be a good day because I'm going to handle myself like a champ today no more getting angry no excuse uses just going to go out there do my best Focus do well I'll see you guys after what's up guys this is the time where I'm usually supposed to say hey guys round's over how did it go well I'm not really in the mood to do that Golf and I aren't getting along very much right now today was uh yet another struggle I uh I didn't even want to play after five holes I was ready to just walk in and I kind of made myself not quit cuz that would have been I guess the easy way out I'm really frustrated at the moment I'm really unhappy with my game with myself with the decisions I'm making with my attitude with my emotional control or lack thereof it's just been bad and sure today I I played better after you know for the last 13 holes I've got a little bit back but that's not really the point the point is the last two weeks have just been beating the crap out of me and I don't know what to do about it or what I've been doing that's so wrong or if I've been just ignoring it or if I've just and kind of go go go and trying to push it aside instead of just acknowledging that I'm a little run down I don't know or is it just one of those things that these things happen and good golf will come back that's what I'm hoping but yeah this tournament sucked the tournament before sucked and the tournament before suck and St George suck it's frustrating I'm just sitting here in a construction traffic and I've had a lot of time to think and luckily I'm not thinking about packing it in but I'm just stressed out because these last couple weeks I haven't made any money and that makes my uh my fall and my winter look Bleak really if I don't make any money in between now and the end of September I might just have to stay up in Canada for the winter and and that kind of sucks it's not what I want I want my career to progress so I have to remind myself it's just it's about the work it's about the process and and these two weeks are just like a you know blip on the radar thinking like that doesn't make it suck any less or hurt any less I'm frustrated and I'm tired of screwing up and and getting in my own way and making stupid mistakes and stupid decisions and compounding mistakes but it's likely because I'm putting some pressure on myself to just perform perform perform and I'm not so you get frustrated and then you do dumb things because you push and you take on shots you shouldn't take on and you just lose all your patience and the two things I kind of I pride myself on are patience and hard work and my patience has just gone by the wayside in the last two weeks so I need to find that so yeah this this Vlog sucked the outcome was terrible I hope I've learned something finally though feel like if anyone that's been following along you've seen this maybe slight regression in my mood and in my attitude in my play and everything like that but that's it I have a few more hours to get back to Ottawa and I'm going to hop in the car and drive back to Toronto and play a one-day event on Friday because I need to get some points and jump up that order of Merit on the Great Lakes tour so hopefully I can have a clear mind have a bit of fun and above all not be an idiot and and just have a better attitude if you like this give it a thumbs up subscribe if you haven't subscribed and comment down below if you've been through these moments with your with your job with your golf with whatever comment below maybe what what you've done pull yourself out of a place of just being overly frustrated thanks so much guys peace [Music]