"You Called Us, What Did You Expect Us to Say?"

[Music] Brought to you by chome, a budget friendly, faith-based alternative to health insurance. ch ministries.org/budget. >> I was just curious about to get married here in about a month and start a family shortly after. Um, however, my fiance just got uh into CRNA school to be a certified registered nurse an assist and we'd be taking on about $200,000 in student loan debt. But just curious if you would think that would be a smart commitment for for us to make as we're starting family here in the near future. >> You you do know who you called, right? >> Yes, sir. That's why I'm calling you. >> I mean, what what do what I mean, what do you expect us to say? We've never told anyone to go in debt in our lives, much less $200,000 one month after you get married. >> Yes, sir. >> That takes my breath away. I I understand. My uh the only bright side coming out of that is, you know, right now she in her regular nurse job probably makes close to $70,000 a year where coming out of that she would make close to about $200,000 a year. >> Yeah, but you made you made an incorrect assumption there. >> What was that, sir? >> That 100% of the people that start this graduate. >> Understood. The other incorrect assumption you made was the lady that called us about 3 weeks ago who had just finished her uh medical degree. It was not an nurse andistis. It was a different one. And she had $250,000 in debt and her first child had special needs and demanded that she go home and take care of her child. >> You know what she is? You know what that couple is? That couple's screwed because life doesn't turn out exactly like your little plan ever. So now you got grouchy Dave. Sorry. Let's play it out. Josh, you told me you're on the cusp of getting married. You want to start a family. You want to have, you know, this adult life. Here's how this would play out. You guys have a baby. She looks into that baby's eyes and says, "I want to stay home." And you go, "Uh, honey, we're $200,000 in debt. we were banking on you making 200 grand to get out of this hole and now it's an emotional decision to go do I want to stay home which is what I'm feel called to or do I need to go do this job to get rid of the debt and so that's what we're trying to help you see is that potential future of pain >> right and that's that's kind of where I'm at and I've kind of had those conversations I guess this is something that she's dreamed of doing and wanted to do and wait >> if we have two dreams that are in conflict it's called a nightmare >> yes sir And one of the dreams is that I want to I want to have I want to start a family. Now, do do nurse and neest work full-time and have a family? Yes, they do. That is a possibility. Okay. And so, it is a possibility that she goes and she graduates perfectly and she makes two, three, even $400,000 a year, which is a it is a great career field that she is selected in terms of income potential is huge. Um, but the assumption that you take on when you just act like this is an autopilot thing is you leave out all the other variables in your life and that's just unwise. So, I can't tell you. I've never told anyone in the history of this show to go into debt uh for for student loans ever in any circumstances. If I was going to, it probably be something like that field. Uh because I actually like her field better than I do an MD in terms of income potential versus what she's going to spend. It's a pretty incredible field that she's signing up for. But that's not But would I tell someone I love to do what you're asking me? No. And I love you guys. I don't want you to do this. Uh I want you to find another way for her to go do that school at some point. Find another way for it to get paid for. uh find another way to make sure that this is what she wants to do versus stay home with her new child that might have needs. >> So, I would wait until you guys have the baby and she might decide to keep working and you guys have saved up a bunch of money by then. You're in a good spot financially. Maybe then we pursue it. I >> I think the concept of going and getting this degree is a very wise decision. How you're going about it and the timing of when you're going about it is very unwise. and selfish and strange and immature and you're going to screw this up. Please don't do it. Hope I wasn't unclear. >> I understood it. >> We'll just start with the caffeine. Okay, we'll just start right off the bat with the caffeine. I mean, gosh, man. It's just it's we have the burden and the privilege of having sat in these seats now for decades. you, me, and the other personalities hearing when all of this crap bestlaid plans of mice and men go sideways when you think that all of your positive assumptions are how things are going to turn out and they just don't turn out that way. I actually wouldn't be here doing this if they turn out the way they're supposed to. I would be a multi-bazillionaire in real estate. But in turn, but it turns out that even though I was making money in real estate, even though I'd never lost money on a deal, even though I wasn't a dime late or a day late on a single note, a banker looked down when the bank got sold to another bank and looked at our paperwork and said, "Oh, there's a 26-year-old child boy that owes us a million two. Let's limit this relationship." And they looked down and pulled a obscure paragraph out of the paperwork and called my notes. started to pay them. >> That started two and a half years of me losing everything I owned with our water getting cut off, our electricity getting cut off, and our marriage almost ending. With a brand new baby, a toddler, and a marriage hanging on by a thread, we got the opportunity to start over because things don't turn out like you plan. >> And so, uh, and I was good at it, too. And I'm smart. I didn't do dumb stuff. The only dumb thing is I signed up for a big old pile of debt thinking it was always going to work out. And the borrower is slave to the lender 100% of the time. So, not a real popular thing to talk about. One month before you get married, you get to be the dream killer for your fiance. What kind of man are you anyway? But, you know, >> but if you ask how to how to start your marriage off on the right foot, I'd go, "Well, let's be aligned and let's try to avoid being $200,000 in debt." If we can avoid all that, I think we're in a decent spot. So, I don't think it's going to set you guys up for success in your marriage while you also want to get a house and want to upgrade the cars and live your life, go on vacation while being saddled with all this debt. And we don't even know if they had other debt. There could have been a a pile already sitting there to deal with. So, it stresses me out going into marriage like that. Listen, the number one cause of divorce in North America today is money fights and money problems. And if you're not aligned on money going into a marriage, you have a problem. because you're not aligned on the one the number one cause of people splitting up. Hello. You know, the other three are you're not aligned on religion, how to raise kids and whether to have them, and how to deal with the freaking in-laws. And if you're not aligned on that, those four things, you're going to struggle severely in the first decade of your marriage, and it likely will end in divorce. But if you're aligned and you're like, "Yeah, let's do it. Let's go then. Have at it. But I mean, Josh, you you just walked in the bear's den and you knew it. So, I'm I'm confused why you called cuz you knew what you were getting into here. But anyway, man, find another way to live your life more wisely. >> Christian Healthcare Ministries can save your family hundreds of dollars on healthcare every month. Learn more at chmin ministries.org/budget. org/budget.