This Is A Screwed Up Mess

[Music] brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> My wife and I uh we're we're both semi-retired. Uh I retired a while uh eight years ago and then I worked part-time for the company I retired from as a consultant and my wife works a couple days a week. Um we we're getting ready to uh sell our house. It's too big for us, downsize, that type of thing. We have a place in Florida that we're going to go to. But in the meantime, our children are grown and they're all over the world and we have one in uh Colorado who a while back they uh asked us, you know, hey, you know, it' be great if you guys would come out here and stay with us for a while and do things and blah blah blah. And we said, sure, that'd be great. And they didn't have a house, so they were looking for one. We entered into an agreement that we would uh give them money for a down payment. Some they had half, we had some and uh the agreement kind of fell apart here. Uh now they're there's some animosity a little bit and they want to pay us back. We we sent the the money which was $117,000 as a gift. We did the gifting uh uh paperwork. uh they bought their house and uh now they want out and they said they want to pay us back and I'm just concerned about oh one thing is taxes and I we haven't kind of really gotten into the meat of it yet. I'm concerned about where they're going to get the money from and I think they'd take it out of their retirement accounts which I don't want them to do and I'm just looking for some advice what your thoughts are. So, you're partners in the house? It was not a gift. >> No, no, we're we're not partners in the house. >> What's the agreement you're referring to? >> Well, we they bought a house with a finished basement with, you know, two bedrooms, bathroom down there, family room, uh different things. Uh you know, and space for us where we could come for two, three months out of the year. >> Oh, so the agreement was you could live in the basement 3 months a year. >> Yeah. And now they don't want you to because they're mad. What What do they What do they get mad about? >> Meet Every Dollar budgeters Christy and Steve. They used to fight about money. >> I'm the spender. >> I'm definitely the saver. >> Now that they budget with Every Dollar, they're on the same page. Money is definitely one thing we do not ever fight about. >> Having the budget gave me the permission to spend. >> Knowing that the money is in each category, it just allowed us to work together better. >> Now that's what we call a win-win. >> Now we just have to pick paint colors. We can't help you with that. Every dollar, create your free account today. >> What' they get mad about? >> No, they what happened was they they decid we we told them right up front, we said, "Listen, we need our own space. There'll be times when we'll get on each other's nerves. We know we don't need to be together 24/7. We'd like a place to cook some meals so we don't have to all eat together all the time." And it we agreed to that. Then they bought a place and they said, "Well, it's not as big as we'd hoped, so we're going to have to, you know, share that space and that's not going to work." And some of them uh they it it just fell apart. And so now they're >> What's the animosity? >> The animosity is u Well, it's really just that uh uh we said, "Well, no, the agreement was this." And they said, "Well, no, we we told you that changed." And we said, "No, you didn't." >> And so it grew from there. And they said, "Well, we don't >> So what is your net worth?" >> Um, well, we have we we have no debt. Um, >> what's your net worth? >> Uh, I would say almost three million. Uh, we have absolutely no debt. We have IAS. I have an IRA with 1.5, another one with 400. >> Yeah. >> And um, >> I'll tell you what I would do. 401. >> I'll tell you what I would do. >> I would call him up and say, "I'm really sorry. I entered into a really stupid idea. The whole thing we started doing was a bad idea." Cuz it really was a bad idea. Your agreement was really a bad idea. And I would just tell them that it was a bad idea. And you know what? We're just going to forgive the debt. And you don't have to let us stay there. We won't ever stay there. We'll stay in a hotel when we come visit or we'll get a condo when we come visit. We've got plenty of money. The money doesn't matter. We don't need a place to say. You don't need to live in somebody's basement when you have $3 million. >> Yeah. >> A bad idea. >> Yeah, we know now. We >> So, just let them off the hook, dude. >> Yeah, that was a screwed up mess. >> Yeah, it sounds to me like they're paying you back out of spite because of the way that everything went down. >> Well, they they didn't like you that you argued with them about where the kitchen was. >> I think you got to be the parents here, right? And I know your feelings are hurt and I'm not. >> This is not about Dave and I taking a position. No, hold on. But you got to hear this. >> Yeah, I am taking a position. >> Well, I'm saying a who's right and who's wrong in there argument. Oh, you are? >> Yeah. Yeah. This is a dumb idea. This is a dumb idea and it needs to be something. I just It's out of $3 million, $17,000. Forget it. Just walk away. It was a dumb idea. >> Yeah. Be the parent is what I'm getting at here. And just take the high road and let them off the hook and solve this thing. >> Say, you know what? I'm sorry. I didn't think about how screwed up this was going to be. It's only a hundred grand. Screw it. You can have it. I'll just get an apartment. I'll get a condo when I come to Colorado. Or I won't. And I don't worry about it. It's okay. Forget it. I shouldn't have. You should cuz you should not have asked for this to be the deal. Yeah. >> It's a bad idea. Did I mention that? >> You did. Clearly. I thought you covered it from every angle. >> What What is it you were going to add before I so rudely interrupted you? >> I did. I that he needs to take the high road here. Okay. >> And and and and my point was saying who did what and all that irrelevant. You as the parents realize you did a dumb thing and put them in a tough position cuz when they change your mind, you got your feelings hurt. And I think you got to go, you know what? >> Uh let's just let this thing go away and be the bigger person here so that Christmas and Thanksgiving isn't awkward. My gosh. >> I just think I'm I'm looking at how and I'll brag on my in-laws for a second. They have for years and years and years. Stace and I've been married 27 years. They have always taken a position where they never ever wanted us to feel pressure about anything. And I just really admire that. And I I didn't plan to say that, but I'm telling you as an experience, that's how we want to be. >> You mean you're going to their house for Christmas? You mean you're going to their house for Thanksgiving? That didn't come up, huh? >> Okay. >> Right. No, because they've always said you guys do Can't believe you're going up there for your family. >> That's right. Yeah. And they didn't keep score either. >> I'm telling you, it's a thing. And so, yeah, Sharon and I, we made a decision early on. Uh, when in doubt, go over there, >> right? Yeah. >> Go to the other one. When in doubt, it's okay. It's okay. We're going to see you. That's exactly. It's going to work out. >> Yeah. But this is only 100,000, Allan. And really, you guys uh you cheaped out when you thought you were getting a place to stay for three months a year for 100 grand. And um and you shouldn't have done that. It was a bad idea. >> Yeah. >> And um you you put you put a pressure on something that shouldn't have been there. And it good news is you got plenty of net worth. >> If it was your if it was a big percentage of your world, we might have to discuss how they can pay you back. But I would not allow them to pay you back. >> Rent a house down the street. Then you got your own place, you know, for >> which is even better. You leave the grandkids with them screaming and crying. You go back to your little >> I think. I think this one's broken. I'm going to hand it back to you. I just This one's crying. I don't I don't think this one's working right now. I think I'll let you handle it. >> Can you imagine David Sharon in and Rachel's basement and you're cooking away down there. You decide it's uh whatever night and it's stinking the whole basement up. I mean, the whole idea just is crazy of living in your in your kids' basement for 3 months. >> Well, it would be different if you were broke, >> right? Yeah. Yeah. No, this was like a vacation. >> I know. >> An empty neester. Hey, we'll come spend three months with you. >> Going to come hang out just because I want to. [Music] Oh, it's great. >> Oh my goodness. Yeah. >> Boundaries. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and and so it the other thing is um words matter. >> Yeah. >> Okay. A gift is not a gift if it has >> conditions. >> Yeah. >> It is a purchase in of ownership in the basement. It's not a gift. A gift has no strings attached. So, um, but yeah, that that's the thing. So, yeah, Alan, I would just please let just let it go. Just let it go. Just just play Frozen on the radio and let it go, you know, just like that. Just over and over. >> So true. That's the answer to so many relationship ills, isn't it? >> Yeah. Just let it go. >> Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your