Kevin Bozeman on Air Travel - Dry Bar Comedy

Flew in from Chicago. Yeah. Got a deal on my plane ticket. Chicago, round trip, $192. Yeah. Tax and surcharges, $383. Airlines rip you off. They're the biggest scam ever. They don't even try to hide it. They show you how they rip you off. That's infuriating. Because you can't call and complain. Like, hey, we just want you to know before you fly, we're going to rip you off. We're going to show you how to do it. So you don't have any stupid questions later. They itemize it. They charge you $5 for a September 11 security fee. It's been almost 20 years since 9-11. That should come with the flight. I buy a plane ticket and you don't crash into a building. They're like, nope, that costs five extra dollars. I just feel like if you're ever on a plane, it gets hijacked, you got the right to stand up and be like, who didn't pay they $5? You about to crash into a building, you skipping on $5, you're a monster. And there was turbulence on top of that. Two hours of turbulence. They didn't even let the flight attendants up. Everybody's flipping out. Not me. I don't want to die at all. But if I did die, I'd much rather die in a plane crash than an automobile accident. Because if you die in an automobile accident, it's instantaneous. If you die in a plane crash, you at least got 20 minutes to try and tie up some loose ends. The plane is crashing. Everybody's screaming bloody murder. You trying to send that last text out to your boy? Code 10. This ain't a drill. Deactivate my Facebook account. Shut down my email. Grab my laptop. Delete my cookies. I have no idea what cookies are, but I know they're important to keeping secrets on computers. Don't throw that in the oven, dog. This plane's shaky. The largest collection of clean comedy.