"You Have Something You Don't Want To Tell Me About"

Brought to you by CHM, a biblically-based alternative to health insurance. Learn more at chministries.org slash budget. I have a question about what to do about my car. I am in desperate need to get rid of it. The car payment is astronomical and the interest rate is astronomical and I'm trying to decide if I can do like a voluntary repossession. That would be on my credit because I'm about $20,000 upside down. Did you trade negative equity from the other deal into this one? Yes. Okay. Because typically a car won't lose that much unless it's a huge expensive car. So, okay. What kind of car is it? It's a Hyundai Palisade 2024. Oh, geez. Okay. I know. Yeah. And what do you owe on it? $57,000. $57,000? $57,000. And you think it's worth $37,000? Yes, if that. Why? More like $34,000 or $35,000. Why? Because I've had it appraised, I guess you could say, at different places to see what I could get for it. So, you went to dealers and asked them what they would give you for it? Basically, yeah. Well, I also went to different car lots. That's a wholesale. Okay. That means they're going to buy it at a price that they can make money on it. And so, that tells me that if you look this up on Kelly Blue Book, kbb.com and look at private sale, if you were to sell it to an individual, that price is between wholesale and retail. It's between what a dealer will ask for it versus what a dealer will give for it. Okay? Yeah. So, my guess is... It was about $42,000. Yeah, that's more. Yeah. And I'm thinking maybe like $43,000 or $45,000 is what I was getting at. So, I'm making that up, but just based on the percentages of what it usually is. Yeah. I'm seeing $41,000, $44,000 on here, just looking them up what they're actually selling for in the market right now, used. Okay. So, that leaves you more like... So, if you got $44,000 or $43,000 for it, that leaves you more like $13,000 in the haul. Yeah. And what is your interest rate? 8%. 8%. Okay. I know. It's so bad. Okay. And so, do you have any money? Not really. What's not really mean? Not really. Well, what's not... Not really mean... Means you have something you don't want to tell me about. What is it? No. I mean, I have all kinds of debt. I have all kinds of debt and I have other... I have other, you know, I have credit card debt. I have student loan debt. I have... How much other debt do you have? About $70,000. I have $10,000 in credit card, $60,000 in student loan debt. Okay. And another $10,000 in something else? Yeah. And on negative equity loans. Oh, and... It's more like an unsecured loan. Okay. All right. And what do you make a year? $60,000. Okay. And you don't have any money, literally? Well, I mean, I have like $2,000. Okay. That's what I was asking. That's... I was hoping you had something. Okay. Good. Yeah. And you're... Apparently the language you're using, you're single? Actually, I am married, but my husband doesn't... His finances are not with mine. Okay. And thus we have part of the problem. Yeah. So does he have any money? He has lots of money. He has all kinds of money. He makes $15,000 a month. Then we don't have a money problem. We have a marriage problem. Correct. So that's how we're going to solve the car problem. We're going to solve the core problem that caused the car problem. The car problem is a symptom. It's not the problem. The credit card debts and the other loans are a symptom. You're trying to act like you have a rich roommate instead of a husband. He's trying to act like he has a poor roommate instead of a wife. Right. While you go out here trying to exist and run around doing things that are killing you, he makes plenty of money to have bought a car. This is ridiculous. Is his name on any of the debts? No, because he, he had had an affair and he left for a year. So that's why I'm in so much debt because he left and he didn't pay for anything while he was gone. So I had to get a car and I didn't have any credit at the time to speak of. So I just got, and that's why my interest rate was so high. And so I just was, it's kind of like desperate measures. And so when he came back. But you had another car at the time you just upgraded during the time he was gone. Yeah. Because my other car was breaking down. And so, so was your heart. Yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah. So he came back, you let him come back. Tell me about it. So how's the overall relationship thing? Are y'all seeing a therapist or how are you working through that? It's very, it's a very shallow relationship. If I try to talk to him about money, he says, um, and I tried to ask him about the car and he's like, you got yourself into it. You have to get yourself out of it. So, um, there's really no forward progress on any of that. Um, you guys need to be seeing a therapist and you guys need to be moving towards healing or towards ending this. And then you figure out what you're going to do from this point forward, because this, this is, um, all of this is the backdrop for some really sad, bad decisions on your part because you were desperate, you were scared, you were heartbroken, you weren't thinking clearly and a car dealer ate your lunch. Right. And so, um, that's the back, but the backdrop is, is that you're actually better than the person who went in there and let that happen. But you were, you were, you were at a weakest moment. Yeah. So we've got to get rid of the weakest moments and that's him. So either this marriage starts healing or he's going away. Yes. Yeah. That's the, that's where we're at. Yeah. But yeah. And I just don't know because my car payment is so, is so high and I just don't, I want so badly to get out of debt and I just cannot, I don't want to go out. I don't want to get out of debt bad enough to do a deal with the devil. So he's either coming to the table, we're going to combine our finances and we're going to dream about living a life together. And that includes him cleaning up the mess that he's partly caused. And he'll have to clean up eventually. I mean, through, whether it's through a divorce or otherwise. Yeah. This is going to become his problem. Yeah. How long have y'all been married? 12 years. Yeah. Well, um, I think he's going to discover the Texas law is going to give you some of his 15,000 a month. It's called alimony. Yeah. So he's getting ready to learn some things about how things work if this doesn't get fixed. So there's a lot of reason here to fix it for some reason he came back. So he, there's some part of him that wants this to go to get better. But part of it getting better is a holistic healing of your overall relationship. And then that fixes your car problem. Um, if that doesn't happen, then, um, you know, then, then you've got a car problem that we don't know what to do with. I will talk about the other parts of it, but I don't want you to, I don't want you to 2% of this call is your car. 98% is your marriage. Okay. Okay. And that, that makes your life good 10 years from today, not your car being fixed problem. Okay. So that, that I want you to love, I want you to hear me loving you that way. Okay. So the, um, if you're upside down, you've got three choices. Um, one is pay it down. Uh, two is borrow the difference and sell it from your credit union or from a credit card. And I would rather you have $13,000 in debt than $57,000 in debt and get a hoopty to drive for a while. And yeah, if it breaks down, fix it, shut up. Okay. Um, that that's probably what's going to happen. The second thing that can happen is you just earn enough by working like a crazy person to pay it down and get it under control so you can get it sold. And the third thing is a voluntary repo. Don't do that for two reasons. One is that it trashes your credit. I'm not all about you building your credit, but it trashes it. And two is you lose control of what they sell it for. And they're going to sue you for the difference. So they're going to sell that car for 30 and come after you for $30,000 of a deficit with repo fees and everything on there. Instead, you could be 13,000 in the hall. So a voluntary repo is a really bad plan. Um, I wouldn't voluntary repo ever. I would just make them take it if they're going to take it. CHM isn't health insurance. It's a health cost-sharing ministry. Check it out for yourself at chministries.org slash budget.