Transform Your Coaching Journey: Unleash Potential, Thrive Together with Kelsey Murphy

The most important work, which is the internal work, right? I feel like the internal work for me is such a no brainer. It has to be number one. Welcome to super entrepreneurs podcast. I'm your host Shahid Durrani. Today we have with us, Kelsey Murphy. Kelsey is a business and life coach for fortune 500, uh, companies like Facebook and Twitter and working with seven figure entrepreneurs like Mary Forleo and celebrity nutritionist, Kelly Levesque, while being featured in places like forums and business insider, welcome to our show. Kelsey. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here. It's a pleasure. Great to have you. How did you get involved with celebrities and helping them out? You know what? I started off. So my career was never in coaching. I started off back in advertising in San Francisco and did that for a really long time, and then felt very, it was a very fun job. I felt like I had a lot to talk about all the time, but it was really unfulfilling. I just knew that this wasn't going to be where I wanted to be for the next 20, 30 years and as a mom, and I wasn't a mom at the time, but I knew I wanted to be a mom who could really pick up their kids every day from school and go on field trips. I needed a more flexible kind of career. So I got into coaching and I started by doing career coaching. I got my life coaching certification. I dabbled in all of these different areas. And then once I was able to lean into careers, I really helped people with career development, figuring out where they wanted to go with their career, creating these career plans. That's when I started to pitch myself to places like Twitter and Facebook and get my foot in the door there. And what ended up happening was very organic. It's as soon as I started putting myself around to these really ambitious humans that were working at these companies, they all had these side hustles. They all had these other dreams of things that they wanted to build and fulfill. And since I had built this really beautiful, it was hard. It was a hard coaching business to build, but since I had built this and been able to go and do these workshops and speak at places, I ended up just having a lot of people come to me that were like, Hey, I want to build a coaching business too. Hey, I want to do this. I want to start a podcast. I want to do this. Can you teach me how to do that? So I transitioned very organically into helping all of these really ambitious people build their coaching businesses. So I would find myself at coffee shops with some of these people talking about how to go from. I remember like Kelly Oveck is a great example. She works with Jennifer Gardner and Jessica Alba and Chelsea Handler and all these amazing celebrities and she's their nutritionist, but when her and I first connected, we were literally sitting at a coffee shop trying to look at a very small 6,000 person Instagram account that she had and decide on what was she going to focus on, what was she going to niche down on, what was she going to, was it going to be smoothies, was it yoga workouts? And so we looked at kind of the data and she was like, I'm going to test this one thing out for 30 days. I'm going to talk about smoothies. I'm going to talk about this one pose. And as we watched what happened, she then, if you go follow her now, she's like 500,000 followers. She's on a different planet now. But back in the earlier days, when we would be crunching these things together, we were just like, what's the next milestone and how, instead of doing all the things, do we do the one thing that not only do we love, but it's also what kind of our target audience is asking us for. And after that conversation with Kelly and her going on to, to be able to build this beautiful business, I found myself getting calls from people like Marie Forleo to help coach her business students. And it turned out, I didn't know this was my gift. Like you never, I don't think a lot of us know, Oh, this is my niche or this is special skill until you really start working with people. And it turned out, Oh my gosh, my skill is helping people find that really specific, ownable piece of themselves and their business that is this cross between something they love and something they can make a significant amount of money helping people with. And so when you find that thing, I feel like that's when you get to double down on it and that's when you see huge momentum and growth versus trying to spread yourself too thin. Yeah. And that's where you say blending personal passions with work, correct? Yeah. Yep. You got it. Yeah. Any pointers for someone to investigate or to look within to find out how to blend those two? Yeah. So I always say it's, it's an intersection between love and money, right? It's what do you love to do? And then what is going to allow you to make the money that you need or want to make, right? So you're going to have to test out a couple of different areas to find that intersection and explore which one you want to really pursue. But when I am thinking, I'm, when I'm working with coaches and they come to me and they're like, they're a life coach or they're a career coach or a business coach, I'm like, yeah, but what's your unique thing? What's the thing about you that makes you different? If I were to compare you to this other life coach standing next to you, what's the difference? What's your thing? What's unique about you? And often it's really hard for us to see that about ourselves. We're like, I don't know. I'm just me. I can't see anything unique about myself. Right? So I start from a different angle instead of, Oh, what's your niche or what's your, what's unique about you? And I want to know about your specific point of views. And that's really where I dig into people's business. Questioning process. Exactly. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, if you are. What do you do as a coach that no other life coaches are going to do, or what really bothers you about the life coaching industry that you do differently? Or what is some conventional advice that a life coach is going to give you? That you actually don't agree with. Right? So we start to ask these questions that help you really come up with your opinion and your point of view. And usually one of those things, someone will be like, yeah, I don't love this. Especially in life coaching. People will be like, yeah, I feel it. Like it's really when there there's no certifications and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, Oh, tell me more. So tell me what your opinion is on that. And when they start leaning into it, I'm like, look at, you have such a strong opinion. Let's weave that into what makes you different as a life coach versus somebody else. And then all of a sudden they have all these talking points and this thing that really differentiates them from other people. And we create some messaging around that. We create a little coaching offer. And that usually helps them get that big momentum that they need. The creative questioning for them to realize themselves what that spark is. Yeah. And what's different for them than other people? Because I think that we forget how unique we are. We don't often exercise that muscle of saying, Oh, this is unique about me. Or I do have a different opinion. I think it's very scary for you to raise your hand and say, I have a different opinion. I don't believe that actually. None of us really are not none of us, but a lot of the clients I work with, they don't want to be super challenging and conflict driven and they don't want to like, they don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers and I'm like, but what if we could do this in a really loving way that just encourages new conversation? Like, Hey, have you ever thought about it this way? Or a lot of coaches go about it this way. I just go about it different, nothing against those other coaches, but this is a thing that makes me unique. I'm like, there's a really beautiful way to communicate it, but we do have to figure out what that thing is. Yeah. That reminds me of, of podcasting. There's some shows where they challenge the guests a lot and then even to watch it, it feels uncomfortable. Certain people like it. And it's not something that I think anybody deserves to be hounded that way because I know it might get extra exposure, might help the show, but I just don't feel like anyone deserves that type of stress and coming in that kind of situation. Right. And I think you're, you're in the majority. I think none of us, there's so much stress in the world right now. None of us want to add to that. We're like, why would we create anything that feels confrontational? So, but I think that we do it with love. Yes, exactly. It's to encourage someone to share a differing opinion and create a safe space around it, right. And say, I do want to, I do want us to have different opinions and I want us that to make us beautifully different and unique so that people know, Oh my gosh, I love both of them, but this person over here, I resonate a little bit more with. I think that that's the coolest thing we can do. Yeah, no, it is. And you mentioned. Enthusiasms, enthusiast. I was, that was cool. Yeah. I like that. And, uh, yeah, go ahead. I, it's funny. I noticed myself as a really enthusiastic person because I also, I will tell you have been called the dream crusher before because when I feel like, yeah, when people come to me with their dreams or their business ideas, I have a lot of questions around them. So I want to make sure. And I think it comes from a really loving place because I have so much love for entrepreneurs and businesses. I don't want them to jump in with their whole hearts without any strategy or planning behind it because I don't want to see them get disappointed and then give up. And I just seen that so many times that percentages on small businesses failing is so significant. So I think when people go into small businesses, especially coaches, and they're going with, they're such empathetic, big hearted people, and they go into these businesses with their passions. I'm always like, hold, hold. Let's make sure there's some numbers behind that. Hold on. Let me make sure we've got some strategy behind that. And it's funny because some people will be like, you're crushing my dreams. I just wanted to launch this tomorrow. And I'm like, we can launch it next week. Let me just make sure you've got the numbers that, that, so when you launch it, it turns into some sales. I don't want you to launch it. And then it doesn't turn into anything. And then you're disappointed unless you're doing like a passion. Passion project is totally different. But if you're building something for revenue, I want them to have that as much as I people do will say, oh my gosh, you're so full of enthusiasm, Kelsey. I'm like, I also have another side, but I hope that my enthusiasm makes that other side welcome. Because if they can live harmoniously together, I think it's a really good blend. And do you believe that the disappointment may come from lack of belief in their capabilities as well within the inner work, because that could trigger a disappointment, a small challenge or a small hiccup may even cause that disappointment, which may not be good for their journey as an entrepreneur, because entrepreneurs full of challenges. So they have to have some kind of a solid foundation. Don't you feel? Yeah, absolutely. I feel like a lot of it comes from some of it, I think comes from mismanaged expectations, right? If you go into something and you're like, I'm going to start a coaching business and I want to make a hundred K the first year, and then you set aside a couple hours a week to work on it. And then all of a sudden you're six months in and you're like, I've only made 10 K. Like I feel like I'm working so hard and I'm not getting any results. It was, I think it's probably less about what you're doing. It's more about mismanaged expectations. It's, Oh, if we start from the get go and we look at, okay, you want to hit a hundred K in 12 months. We got to have a plan. You got to have some numbers. Like how many hours is that actually going to take me? And when I get in front of people and tell them about my coaching offer, how many people are actually going to say yes. Out of 20 people are going to say yes, or three going to say yes. And when we know those numbers and conversions, all of a sudden our expectations get managed more so that when we hit that six month mark, we either know you're we're at the 10 K and we're like, that's okay. I knew I was going to have to work 30 hours a week on this business. And I chose to work 10 because it was a busy season of my life. And I'm okay with that. Like you at least intentionally know versus if you don't, and then what happens next is exactly what you're talking about is all of a sudden we feel if we hit that kind of like roadblock or we feel exhausted or we feel burnt out. And then that's exposing all of these insecurities and all the negative dialogue and the internal conversation then starts, that's when it starts. Yeah, absolutely. Like, oh, you've always been lazy. You knew you could never be. That's why. Yeah. That's why that internal work is so important to create that, that self-image once you have that self-image, then whatever happens on the outside, you're pretty confident about that hiccup or that challenge or that disappointment. And I like what you said about having a plan because they say a goal without a plan is a wish. Having that belief within that, if there's a hiccup, I'm able to, to conquer it. Yeah. And I'm probably what's funny, even in this conversation, I'm realizing how much I talk about a plan over the most important work, which is the internal work, right? I feel like I've, the internal work for me is such a no brainer. It's I don't operate my life like it's, it has to be number one. Like I don't, I won't operate in my business if I don't have a life coach. That's what I was getting at. That's what I wanted to hear. I knew it was there because the energy I'm getting from you is if it's natural, then wow, it's amazing, but definitely it requires a daily consistent work. The internal work. And that's the number one work, right? That's the first word in that internal work. And then the next big piece, I just don't want people to do the internal work and then make a dream for a business. It's let's do the internal work, set yourself up, then let's make a plan. And then you're going to hit some roadblocks along the way. And when you hit some speed bumps and some roadblocks, we go back to the internal work. It's just this like beautiful system. Yeah. And become consistent in whatever you do. Exactly. But it's enthusiasm is such a special word for me. It helped me in my transformation so much that I was acting enthusiastic initially, but within just pumped myself. I'm enthusiastic. I'm happy. I'm excited. It was just the self-talk and it started taking its own life. I just started becoming part of me. I started becoming, started coming out more natural and now it's just there. Like I don't work on it. Nothing. It's not something that I think about. I feel like it's a huge component when we do business because that energy that you put in anything that you do with enthusiasm, the quality improves, you do it more often, you enjoy it. It doesn't feel like work. You know what I mean? Yes. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And like I said, my natural inclination is to poke holes in things. Like it's, I feel like I need to protect myself. So I'm like, what could possibly be something that goes wrong? And I have to consistently everyday work on before I do that, Kelsey, let's work on the internal piece first. So I'm never jumping into work without doing the internal piece first, because I know my inclination would be what could go wrong. And so since that's my natural inclination every morning and every night has to be fueled with what went right, what could go right. And what are the possible opportunities? And I have to retrain and create new neural pathways in my brain to say that. So that then when I go into like my analytical mode in business, I've already done that internal work. Yeah. And you do that with your clients as well. I assume the internal work, that's your focus initially, depending on the client. And if I don't, if I'm more heavily in business, like with them, then I hire them a life coach to do it, like all of my, one of my clients right now. You need that together with it. Absolutely. Like I will never have a, I will never business coach without hiring a life coach for them because I know they go side by side. That's wonderful. Having these star studded clients, is there a moment that you experienced from them that you were surprised to know, Oh, wow, you became successful, even though you had this characteristic holding you back, was there something that surprised you when you worked with these clients? I have a tendency to naturally feel like we all put our pants on one leg at a time. Like I, I feel like when I meet people, it doesn't matter if they're a celebrity. I just, I'm like, so where are you from? I want to know who you are as a human. And I go directly to that. Like, I'm not very good with small talk. I'm not very good with the weather with anyone, whether it's a celebrity or my neighbor. So when I see them, I'm like, how are you, what is going on? Like what's going on in your world? Like, how are you feeling about things? So like I can go pretty deep and normal with, with a high profile client or someone like that very quickly. But what does surprise me is I think that after working with them for so long and I see all their skill sets, I'm like, Oh, this is why you're successful. Like you're not overanalyzing. You're taking really quick action or those kinds of, those kinds of points. Yes. Yeah. Like I'm like, you're really confident. Cause you've done a lot of inner work. Like you've got a system where you're just willing to put yourself out there. And I watch and I watch and it's almost, then I forget about all of the things that they do still battle with. So it's interesting. After I work with high profile clients for six to 12 months, and usually I'm on a higher retainer with them. So I'll work with them for years. Like all of a sudden I'll just be like, look at them crushing it out there. They got this Amazon bestseller. They're doing amazing. And then I'll get a text message from them that, Oh, I'm drowning this year in, in Chris holiday decorations. And I'm like, Oh, you're just like us. You're dealing with all the overwhelm of the holiday season or being in the trenches as a busy mom. Sometimes I do forget that after watching all their success, I'm like, Oh, they're just a really good action taker. They have a lot of confidence. Then I'm like, Oh, that no, they're dealing with the same things day to day. They're just usually either pivoting out of them really quickly. Cause they've done a lot of internal work. So they're able to get out of it quicker or they're really good at delegating and reaching out to their support team of their own life coach or their own therapist, or handing things off to someone to allow them to step into their zone of genius so this other person can support and do other jobs for them. So it's always surprises me when I'm like, Oh, that's right. You do have things that you're dealing with as well. We're just all learning how to deal with them more quickly. The reason I was asking, they have achieved something incredible to make a name and so much noise. There has to be certain things that they're doing or not doing that could help someone in the audience. So that key word I think is the extensive inner work. Is that correct? Yeah. I'd say if we were to get really specific and tangible to drill down into that, it's really their competence and their self-worth and this is who I am. Exactly. I know who I am and not everyone's going to love it. And I got to be real confident in that to put myself out there. And then their willingness to take action, their willingness to say, this is what I want to do. My whole intuition and gut is telling me to do it. Some of us tend to overanalyze and think about that for a long time. They're like, you know what? I feel it. I'm going to do it. And I know I'll survive even if it's the wrong decision. And that characteristic that they have developed over time allows them to put so much more content work out there, you know? Yeah. When you calm things down and you have inspired action, the overthinking mind, you calm it down and you just go and take that step and you push forward with that push that you receive from within to take that action. And it changes everything. Absolutely. You got it. Yeah. That's, can you share any tips on how to make your everyday fun for the audience? Oh my gosh, that's such a good question. Thanks. Everybody is different. I feel like if you've learned anything about me at this point, that like my brain has a tendency to want to go first, right? I almost have to calm my brain down. My brain wants to muscle its way through everything. So I have to be like, thank you so much brain. Thank you for trying to keep me safe. And now I need to put you on hold and like tap into my body and all my other senses. So for me, when it comes to fun, that is not my natural place to go because I'm like, what's the ROI on fun? What's, what are the results and numbers I'm going to see for going out and having fun, right? And yes, it is huge, but like from a spreadsheet perspective, it's really hard for me to tangibly see. Yeah. So I have to experience it first. And then once I experienced the joy and the fun, I almost have to see how that ripple effects into the rest of my life to give me that bigger ROI. So when I look at my life, I do a big, when I'm doing planning for, I just did a bunch of 20, 24 planning, right? What am I going to do for the year? And before I do it, because my brain wants to go into overdrive, I do a big three year visualization, right? Of like, where do I want to be in three years? And I literally transport myself to wherever I'm going to be three years from this exact date. So I'll be like, okay, what is the exact date? And then I add three years onto it and I add three years to my age. I'm like, okay, you're this age. And I add three years onto my partner's age and three years onto my kid's age. So I'm getting all the facts of, okay, this is the reality. I'm going to transport myself to this place in three years. And then I really try to envision like you have created the most amazing life in three years. What does it look like? What are you waking up and saying to your husband? What are you doing first thing in the morning? Are you laughing and giggling with your kids? Are you guys having a dance party? Is it super fun? And I start envisioning this life and I, and I then am coming to the reality of what I really want to build and grow and prioritize, and if I don't do that, I'm going to strategize a really great business plan for the next year, but it's not going to incorporate the things that I really want to do, play pickleball, go kayaking and paddle boarding with my husband for a lunch date every Friday. Go to, we just went to the F one Austin grand Prix, like all these little things that I really want to do. I don't see those on my planning to do list. So whenever I'm feeling like I'm getting into the weeds and I'm not prioritizing fun or life or the things that light me up, I go back to the three year vision and I just go and I read what I wrote down and it instantly reminds me like, okay, Kelsey, instead of Monday morning, planning to get all of your emails out, go for 90 minutes and go play pickleball first, check that check life off first and then do your work after that. So for me, I really have to go into my to-do list for the week and get on my iCal and send myself iCals. I kid you not. If I could show you my iCals right now in the mornings, every 30 minutes with my kids, it says laugh, dance, have fun with kids because my brain has to be reminded. Otherwise I'll go right into work or productivity. And so I have that as a constant reminder on my iCal that like, that's the life you want to build. When you get to the very end, that's the life you're going to want to prioritize. So that's usually the system that I use when I need to get back into like life. Wonderful. Can you share what you feel your innermost superpower is that got you to this point in life? Oh, that's such a good question. I would probably say probably my ability to not give up and believe that I can figure it out. Cool. Persistence. Yeah. And I like what you said about the three-year visualization, because then you're basically impressing your subconscious with a new edited version of your self image that you already see yourself. So you start vibrating with that information and you can even take action from that place and you make decisions from that place, it makes the journey more fun, exciting, enthusiastic. So that's wonderful. Yeah. Wonderful shares. It was great to have you on the show, Kelsey. It was wonderful meeting you and speaking to you. It's a great conversation. Great thing that you're doing for entrepreneurs and individuals. Wishing you all the best. Keep in touch and thank you for your time. I will. Thank you so much for having me. And I echo the same sentiment. Keep doing what you're doing and putting this out there because it's so needed and I so appreciate it. Thank you so much. Will do.