Throwing ONLY ILLEGAL Bowling Balls!

All right, so I have six illegal bowling balls, Matt has six of his normal bowling balls that he throws, and we're gonna duke it out 1v1, pro versus amateur, illegal versus legal. Like, I feel like I'm double stacking the odds for me, except all my illegal balls roll horrendous. I feel like I have the equipment advantage, honestly. Yeah, even though mine are illegal, it's just like, for fun, illegal. It's not like, these are good. Do you want to go first or second? I'll go first. I'm gonna start off with the Columbia 300 Kuda, which I was just throwing for our last video, so it'll be like giving me a little bit of an edge. First one to two strikes with this set of balls wins a point. If we both get two strikes in a row... Tiebreaker. Next person who misses, loses. I'm trying to strategize. I think Matt's gonna strike with this ball on the next shot. Do I want to throw a ball that's good and try and keep up with him, or do I want to kind of just chance it? I'm gonna go with a ball that I've kind of been warming up. I'll go with this one. This is my Quantum Double Helix, or Quantum Helix. I don't know which one it is, but I also have the other one. We got the golden black one. Why is this illegal? So the gold part of the ball is urethane, and the black part of the ball is reactive. The reactive part of the ball shrunk a little bit, and the urethane stayed the same size, so there's like a ridge on the ball. It's like thumping down the lane. I don't know where to stand, but this is about right. That ball rolls like dookie. I might need some real estate over there when I get my acetone soak ball. I might need to move that camera over there. I might need that space. Strike for a point. That wasn't very good, but... I believe I chose a good strategy. I chose a ball that I wasn't super confident in. 1-0 Matt. We're not throwing the three-pound rubber bowling ball this match, so look out. We should. I'd be on a heater with that thing. You guys want to gander over at our website. We're running a 10% off discount code on our brand new merch design, Real Bowlers Use Their Thumb. So if you're like me, and you're a two-hander, and you like joking about it, or if you mean it, Real Bowlers Use Their Thumb. 10% off at checkout using code NEW. I get to choose my next ball. I'm gonna stick with the Helix. This is either the Helix once again, or the Double Helix. Everyone in the comments, feel free to roast me for not knowing. This one doesn't thump as bad because I put it on a resurfacer for an hour and a half. So the whole ball might be small. But maybe that's why it's illegal. This one hooks though. This one hooks. I could hear that one. It was thumping a little. I could tell. A little warm-up shot in there. What do they say? If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. He's like, I'm gonna shoot the spare. I know what he was doing. He was getting lined up with that plastic ball. I know what that was. I've been around long enough. You're not gonna let me practice my spare shots? He never practices his spare shots. So I know what's going on. You missed. So I'm gonna pick another ball that I'm confident in. That is Storm Physics. Antique. Throwback, one might say. When you're out of the game for five years, you gotta bring some old bowling balls back out of retirement. I'm highly confident after watching you throw it. I love these ball choices. I'm gonna whoop you with all my plastic balls. It hooks a ton. That one looked pretty good. I think I just threw the first one a little slow. That one was pretty good. I really hope you missed, please. My last two, I haven't thrown great. I've fallen off them a little bit, but... Like I said, I like how you're throwing them. I just don't like what they're doing. All right, one more really good shot here, man. Maybe if you throw a good, you'll 10 pin. Maybe a nine pin. There it is. I threw that one better. And the old flat 10. I'm gonna practice my spares. Can't believe you missed it. Got some work to do on my spare game. Well, that's what happens when you're out the game for five years. You just miss them by a little bit. Brooklyn on a 10 pin shot. Chance to get into the roll-off, guaranteed. I'm confident with that one. That one looks like it's gonna strike. I missed my chance there, folks. Threw it too good. Yeah, but it's still like a slow hook and not really my A game. I say you move five right and pipe it. Five right and pipe it? All right. Why did I listen to him? Got it. I'm not sharp enough to be doing that. Five right and pipe it, which it would be to play. One to one. All right, I get to pick. Oh, yeah, and you go first. I was fairly confident with that ball, but I didn't throw great shots. I think for this one, we're gonna go back to the right, and I'm gonna use the old pitch black. Funny story about this ball. I bowled league one time last spring, and this ball had a weight hole in it, and I was just using it as a spare ball. But a guy at league called me out and said, dude, you can't throw balls with weight holes in them. And I was like, well, it's been a while. The last time I bowled, you could throw balls with weight holes in them. So I had to get this ball plugged. Shout out Justin Roman. That's better. Pressure applied. Yeah, I'm gonna go with a ball recent to the channel. This bad boy. We soaked it in acetone, and it hooked the whole lane. After my spare shot that I threw, it doesn't hook the whole lane anymore. It still hooks more than it should, but it doesn't hook the whole lane anymore. So we're gonna move a little. Split. Split. We can make it. We can make it for a strike. Welcome to YouTube land, where you can make splits to count them as strikes. Do I try and make it for real, or do I go two balls at it? You got higher odds making it with one. Excuse me? I'll try and make it with one, then. Switching to my other illegal ball. This one goes straight. Packy and I are gonna propose to the USBC that the split rule just becomes part of bowling. If you make a split, it counts as a strike. I agree. I think the USBC should include that when you leave a split and you make it, it should just be a strike. USBC, help me out, please. God, it hooked a little bit. That's annoying. I knew I should have thrown two balls. It's more fun that way. I'm gonna miss it. I might as well miss it with two than with one. You missing it with two always gives me ammo, too. So you should have done that. It gives me room to make fun of you later. Oh. Split. I think you should throw it with two. I think that I need to come in here and work on posting shots. I would agree. Like we just talked about. Literally three days ago. Sharp as a spoon. I went second, which means if I strike here, I can't be shut out. Oh. Get that 5-10 out. I've had my chances, but... I'm saying that after not bowling for a very long time, I bowled a lot today. And my fundamentals are starting to go. No excuse, though. I'm gonna get them. No excuse. But my forearm is pretty tired. There we go. You got two, so I need to strike. And then it's next when I miss, lose. I gotta move left. I'm not gonna rely on the five going into the 10. Or I could throw it slower. I'm gonna throw it slower. I should have... That was so dumb. Let me shoot my spare. Let me shoot my spare with my spare ball. See? At least I make the spare. Two to one. Down to one. Losing to your old balding cameraman. How's that feel? These illegal balls should be giving me the advantage, but clearly not. We're gradually getting more illegal here. That last one was super illegal. We're gonna go with the Michael Jordan ball. Illegal because this is a plastic ball, but it is illegal because it has these like these grooves in it that are... On bowling balls, the logo is usually engraved. The whole bowling ball is engraved. So that makes it illegal. And the fact that it's gonna strike way more than any ball you pick off the rack. Yeah. For some reason, this ball rolls amazing. So I might have to go with a lower confidence ball here. I got some confidence on this one. This ball is nice. Oh! You guys know this isn't a split. Uh, yeah, yeah. I'm throwing two balls at it for fun. What? I got a small lead here. And Packy just missed. So we could widen this gap. But we're going to some balls I don't have as much confidence in. We're going with the Hammer New Blue. I think I need to shine this ball up a little bit to make it roll a little better for me, but we're gonna try to get it done. Packy just giving me the finger behind the uh, the camera there. I would never. I'm gonna shoot a spare. Guys, I don't think he notices this is a split. That was a split. That's a strike. He was hoping I didn't notice. I thought when you said you were gonna shoot a spare, I was like, I'm not gonna tell. At what point did you realize it was a split? When your ball was on the lane already? About right here. Middle of the backswing. It's like, wait a second. Hold on. Let me grab this one so it hooks. Move a little left. Dude, how? How does that ball hook? Because I'm throwing it to where there is no oil on the lane. There's none there. Okay, gave myself a pop. Gave myself a pop there. Needed it. Needed a pop. Gave myself a pop. So who went first? You did. No, you went first. For the point. For the people. People who root against me every video, this one's for you. Heater. That was probably payback from the split, but that one was good. Moved right and gave her the pipe. Walk in. Slam that bad boy to the left. Oh no. Flush. That ball was good. If I could throw that bad boy in league, I might average 2.4. Maybe more. Oh no. Bang. If you want a ball that hooks, cut grooves in it all the way around it like basketball. Make it just look like a basketball. Very illegal. This ball looks unbelievable every time we bring it out. I gotta have it, right? Gotta have it. That one did not deserve to strike. That was, no. Whoever has gone first has won so far. I'm up first. Which means you're automatically gonna win. Two to two. The ones I post are pretty good. It's only been about half of my shots, but therein lies the issue. These are the two balls I have the least amount of confidence in because I haven't thrown them very much. This one's from Columbia 300. The Piranha. Ball hooks early and often. You can still see grease pencil on it. I've thrown this ball like twice ever. That's what happens when you bowl league and you get a ball that hooks the whole time it's on the lane. Not ideal conditions for the ball. Five, seven, ten. Come on. I threw that one good and I did not give it enough room. It hooked. It hooked a lot. I didn't want it to flat ten. We only got two balls left. You already missed. I think I'm gonna go with the strategy of the ball I think isn't gonna strike. That way I'll get a warm-up shot. This ball was good for me. So I'm gonna throw the other one. I need a warm-up shot with this, so. What is this? This is a deviate collision. And what makes this illegal? What makes it illegal? Not the weight hole. It's actually an all-the-way-through hole. So we drilled a hole all the way through the ball. One of these days I'm gonna go down to the basement and this ball is just gonna be cracked and in literally two pieces. Wow. That thing did not hook. Very straight. A lick. That's what happens when you drill the core out of the ball quite literally. I'll shoot this one. I can't believe I missed that. You can move a little bit left. Maybe up the ball speed just a hair. Yeah, baby. I said I was gonna go left and I was gonna throw it a little bit harder. That was like two miles an hour slower. All right. I'm gonna move five left. Pretty simple. Come on. All right. This is what happens when you leave the low confidence balls to the end. Also, I keep trying to move left and my game's not quite sharp enough for that yet. So we're gonna stay right here a little bit. The follow-through was good. I need to strike. I'm gonna go three left, I guess. I don't know. Eight left of where I was with my plastic ball for all of you wondering. My god. It just don't wanna hook. She's illegal and it is not helping you. She's illegal and it's making it way worse. It's rolling so forward down lane. I don't know. To go up three to two. That was flush. Best shot of the match right there, folks. Last ball. I need to win to go into a roll-up. I have more confidence in this ball than the last ball, as I should. The famous slot grip ball. Teal Rhino Pro. Slot grip. Don't know if this is legal. I think it's legal, but it doesn't feel right. So we're throwing it in the illegal ball video. Need a strike. I need it bad. Hey, nice shot, Baggy. Thanks. It was a good shot. You just don't have enough power. Excuse me? That's it. I'm ripping on the next one. If you used your thumb, you'd have more power. Because real bowlers use their thumb. Link in the description. We have the Katana Assault. And my experience with this ball is I either strike for days, or I have no idea where it's going. Which is like every asymmetric pearl I've ever drilled in my life. Might be daddy lock-ups right there. I need a strike. It needs to strike. I don't need it as a weak 10-pin nonsense. I think it bounced off the finger hole. Aye, aye, aye. If I make this right-handed, can it count as a strike? Absolutely. Okay. Automatically switch into the Michael Jordan ball. Yes, because I know what's about to happen kind of a little bit. I don't know. Oh, that's close. I like that one. It is a split. 4-7-10 for the win. That'd be pretty sweet. Throwing four balls at it. I know I make fun of Pacquiao a lot for this, but I am much more confident with one bowling ball than with two. Flump chance. We got a strike. It's like New York Yankees chance. It's a good thing they're illegal, because I wouldn't want to throw them anyway. Put my whole hand in the ball. Feels great. Well, Matt, still two chances to strike. Still got to push you out of your misery. I feel better after your last shot and after my shot. I actually threw my last one very well. It overhooked. I'm going to move, hopefully throw it just as well, and we'll see what happens. I love where this is going. This is trending upward for me. Let's go. Still overhooked. Your first one was so good, and your last two have given me hope. My time to shine. I don't, I don't get it. What do I got to do? I was like, just move in, rotate a little bit. It's going to be money. Ringer. I've seen you throw a lot of shots, and that one was pretty good. That one was right up there. Just a shame that two-handers have to rely on messengers so much. Are you talking to Ryan Barnes? No, you're talking to me. Packy's not getting the messengers. He's not winning. And Ryan Barnes gets the highest percentage of messengers of any human being I've ever seen. What the f*** is that? That was move left, throw it right, hope she carries. We'll work for you. First win on the channel. I'm stoked. Welcome. Welcome to the club of everybody else. Welcome to the club. My first time on the channel, frankly, got my butt kicked for three-pound balls. But when we actually do real bowling, Packy doesn't have a chance. Do I not have a chance because I don't do real bowling? According to Matt, real bowlers use their thumbs. Message delivered. There it is. Message delivered. Just another messenger that Packy absolutely needs if he wants to strike. Ryan, I'm coming for you. Thank you guys for watching our illegal ball versus legal bowling ball match, where the pro used all illegal balls and got his butt kicked. So you guys are used to seeing that if you've seen me on a challenge. So shout out to Matt. Congratulations. And thank you guys for watching this video. Don't be afraid. Click that subscribe button if you want to tune in for more like this. And we'll catch you on the next one.