The 5-second test that reveals all of your clutter!

You know, when I first set out to declutter our home 10 years ago, I think I kind of had this morbid curiosity. Could I really get rid of the bulk of our possessions, over 80% of them and not miss them, but also find more success in managing our home? Not feeling like such a loser as a mom and a wife and housekeeper, because I was failing at all the things keeping our house on a daily basis. And so I just wanted to find out if minimalism could be the solution that I was hoping for or not. Well, that was 10 years ago. We've gotten rid of 85% of our stuff, 90% now have not looked back. So today I'm going to share the exact question that I use to declutter our entire house called the happy birthday rule. It's multifaceted. This rule, this tip, this trick can help you plow through and make huge progress in your home. But then also a few caveats too, because once in a while there's still a couple of categories of things that can hang us up. And so I'll share with you how you can quickly move through those roadblocks as well. So today I'd love to encourage you to go to a place in your home that you need to declutter. We are going to look at it with completely fresh eyes. And even today, just while we're visiting, I think you could make a bunch of progress too. Now if you ask me where to start decluttering, I'm always going to say the kitchen. Because I believe the kitchen is the space where we can make our money back the fastest, between not wasting food, not eating out. And I believe that the kitchen really is the heart of the home. And so if you will highly simplify it, get it set so it is serving your current season of life and the type of cooking that you're doing right now, I believe it's going to transform the rest of your house and inspire you to keep going with the rest. But just my two cents, you can start wherever you want to start. Okay, so what is the happy birthday rule? And again, this is the exact rule that I use to declutter our entire house. And so how it works is that we hold up an item and we ask ourselves, have I used this item in the past year? Or if not, do I know for sure that I'm going to use it in the upcoming year? So in other words, has this item had a birthday in my house with it just freeloading, with me not even using it at all? And remember our definition of clutter, it's not stuff that's broken or it's, it's stuff that we're not using. So something that was perfectly good in the past, and maybe we used it a lot. Now, if we haven't used it in the past year, we don't know for sure that we're going to use it in the upcoming year. That has now become clutter. Clutter is stuff that is freeloading in our home. It is stuff that we have to manage and take care of, keep organized, make sure it doesn't get wet when the basement floods. If we end up having to move, we have to pack it and unpack it and all this, right? Clutter are items that are no longer adding any value to our life, because that's the whole point of a physical item, right? If I have a toaster or a stand mixer, it's supposed to serve me. It is supposed to make my life easier. And then if it's not doing that, then it's time for it to go. Now, there are just a couple caveats that go along with this, like I said. So we will get to a couple of those as we go too. All right. So let's look at a couple examples. And then I'm going to tell you the second part of the birthday rule, why I have my box all wrapped up here and how this mindset shift has just improved the rule. I didn't have this when I was doing my house, but it's made it even better. Okay. So we have our donation box. Let's put the rule into action with some of this stuff that we have sitting on our shelves. So look, how cute is this? A little oil decanter thing, right? Have I used it in the past year? No. Do I know for sure I'm going to use it in the upcoming year? No, I don't. So I could safely put it in my donation box. Now, why can we use one year as our guideline or a parameter? Because it means we've gone through all of the seasons and all of the holidays and all of the different types of cooking and whatnot that we do. So we can pretty safely assume if I haven't used it in the past year, I don't know for sure I'm going to use it in the upcoming year, that we're never actually going to use it. Did you know that we're creatures of habit and we use the same 20% of stuff in our home over and over and over again? 80% of our stuff is reloading. It's taking up our bandwidth and our energy to mentally manage it, even if it is in a storage space or behind closed doors. And something like this, we could be like, well, don't. I mean it's just sitting on the shelf. There's kind of a spot for it. It's not really harming anything. Except for you still have to dust it and care for it. You still have to move it around when you want to get to other things on the shelves. Nothing is living in our home for free. All right. So, oh, how about these? Recipe books and cookbooks. Again, we can very safely use the one year rule on these too. And what I think is really important to remember about books, magazines, catalogs, is these create FOMO and fear of missing out. And when I look at them, I'm often like, oh right, I need to do that. I should do that. I should be, you know, going through these books and getting healthier recipes for the kids and finding some new slow cooker ones. And it's constantly reminding us of what we're not doing. Now why aren't we doing it? I don't know. Cause we're all limited by hours in the day and bandwidth. And so we can just look at the data. I'm not a loser or a failure because I didn't get to these. It just hasn't been a big enough priority. Other things have taken precedence and that's okay. But I don't need these mocking me and telling me all the things that I'm not doing. So again, we can use our one year rule, safe to let those go. But what if there are some things that were expensive I spent money on? I really do want to eat healthier. And today's video is sponsored by Helix, where they have an exclusive special just for our viewers. That's you. 25% off right now. If you use our link, helixsleep.com slash minimal mom, and then you can be getting an awesome night's sleep too. Now this is not a Helix. I've been sleeping on a Helix mattress for over three years now. And once you get a really great night's sleep, it's so hard to go back again. Helix Sleep are premium mattresses customized to fit your unique needs. And they come conveniently rolled up in a box and shipped directly to your door. 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Well, that's where we use our Time Will Tell bin. So I especially love using Time Will Tell bins in the kitchen because it helps us make really fast progress. So a Time Will Tell bin is just a container, can be a cardboard box, Rubbermaid tote, anything that you have laying around where we're going to time test items. So we're going to put items into this bin or box that we're just not quite sure about, and we're going to collect more data. So we're time testing it. So maybe this stuff went one birthday in our house not being used, but I'm just not sure if it's next year that I'm not going to want it. So we can use a Time Will Tell bin. So again, going back to our recipe books, maybe you're like, I get it, Dawn. I'm not using it. I want to remove it from my kitchen for right now because it's not serving me in my current season. It's something I have to manage and dust and take care of. I'm not quite ready to put it straight into the donation box. Okay, well, we can put it into our Time Will Tell bin. And again, just collect some more data. If you get to a point, you're like, yeah, I want those recipes. You can go back into your bin and get it. We're just going to stick it into a storage spot, basement, attic, garage, somewhere where you can just set it aside. And if you need to get something back out of it, you can. I love this also for expensive gadgets, small appliances that you got and aren't using. Just to validate your experience, most of us have bought gadgets and small appliances and everything that we thought was going to make life easier. Again, it's really important for us to understand that all purchases are trial and error. So maybe I saw an influencer or I went to a Pamper Chef party. I know I get down on Pamper Chef parties a lot because they make it look so easy when they are using all of the things, right? And you're like, in your head, what are you thinking? That will make my life easier, right? So when we buy these things, we have good intentions and we truly believe that by getting that item, it is going to serve me and it's going to make my life easier, right? It is going to be an item or a product that is useful and helpful in my home. However, we've all had this experience where we get them and they're more of a pain to clean than to actually use. We never take the time to figure out how to use it. And it very quickly goes from something that we thought was going to help us and serve us to clutter. But again, you're like, but I spent money on it. And so I know, I know. So this again, if you're not ready to put it right into the donation box, we can put it into our Time Will Tell bin, collect a little data, see if we miss it. If we miss it, we can pull it back out. And if not, what you're going to find with your Time Will Tell bin is that you've created some distance, some separation. So when you revisit it in one to three to six months, you're going to have a lot more clarity about if you actually want those items. And here's the other magical part about the Time Will Tell bin is in the meantime, you're getting to test drive your kitchen more simplified and streamlined. And I think what you're going to find is that it feels so good. So you don't want to clutter it back up with this stuff that you stuck into your Time Will Tell bin. So it makes it much, much easier to part with these things, especially the things we spent money on down the road. When you've collected some data, you've gotten some more breathing room in your kitchen, and you realize that you haven't actually missed it at all. Okay, now, I also said there's another aspect though, of the birthday rule that has been super helpful for me. And that is to think of gifting your items, again, the clutter, the things you're not actually using, thinking of gifting them to someone else. And so I love the idea that when I take something to the donation center, especially things that are in like new condition, maybe even have the tags on them, and that I would have the tendency to feel guilty about, that I can think about gifting it to someone else and think to myself, oh my goodness, I hope someone is super excited when they find this item at the thrift store. I hope it's exactly what they're looking for and that they can make use of it as well. I'm often asked, what are the things that were hardest for you to get rid of? And it was clothing. I realized that, especially growing up, we never had any of the name brand or fancy clothing. And so when I got old enough that I could buy some of those things, and often it was still secondhand or from a garage sale or a thrift store, that I actually had a really hard time getting rid of those items. And so I thought to myself, well, how excited have you been when you're at the thrift store and you find something that is a really great piece, maybe even still has the tags on it, you can get it at a fraction of the price? That is so fun and exciting. And so how cool that someone else could have that experience with my stuff as well. Now, it still sometimes is a little bit hard. But what I think is funny is that we often use this logic with our kids when we're decluttering toys and stuff. But yet we don't always think about it for ourselves. Like, hey, why would I keep this stuff, let it deteriorate in storage or in the back of my cabinets, when someone else actually could be making use of it? But what I see a lot, especially in women, is that we elevate this stuff and it's so important. And it's such a big deal because we spent money on it. But moving it out brings so much peace of mind because we don't realize how much guilt and shame are associated with these items that we bought and we are not using. So if we can bring stuff back down a notch, right? Like put it in proper perspective. These physical items are meant to serve me and make my life easier. When I bought it, I didn't know for sure. Every purchase is trial and error. Now I've collected the data. It's not providing value in my life, either because it didn't live up to the hype or it just isn't actually what I need in this current season of life. So therefore I'm going to let it go and let somebody else make use of it. When we can begin to detach ourselves from this physical stuff, keep stuff in its proper place, right? Stuff is down here. Our mental and emotional health is up here, right? Keep it down here. Let it go. If it does not pass the birthday test, you are going to find so much freedom in your home. You're going to feel like you can better solve problems, less stress, less anxiety, more peace for your family and everyone else that lives in your home just by letting this stuff go. It's remarkable. I thought it was just a house cleaning tactic. I'm like, move this stuff out so I don't have to dust it, clean it, whatever. No. As we decluttered our house and got everything out, the peace that came in was palpable. It was so cool. And so I want that for you too, right? So if this stuff is not passing the happy birthday test, let's gift it to someone else and move on. Okay. But let's talk about where our happy birthday rule might let us down just a little bit. There's just like one category that I can think of. And that is where we are actually using all of the things in a category, but we don't actually need that many. So I'm talking about things like pots and pans. So again, I'm just out at Airbnb. They have so many pots and pans here. Again, if I said, okay, we're going to use the happy birthday test. Have you used it in the past year? Do you know for sure you're going to use it in the upcoming year? And you could have 12 frying pans and answer yes to those questions. Yes, I've used it. Yes, I'm going to use it in the upcoming year. But that doesn't mean that it's best for us to have this much inventory, because you know how it goes, at least in our house. If you have a bunch of frying pans, people are just going to keep grabbing a clean one instead of washing the existing one. And so we had simplified down to four pots and pans plus one stock pot. So we had two frying pans, two pots. That's all we had. It worked awesome. I never found myself, even on hosting Thanksgiving, at a lack for pots and pans. So you might find that something could pass the birthday test, but still be too much inventory. So you might look and decide just to donate some right away. Or if you're not quite ready to take that step, which is totally fine, again, that's where our Time Will Tell bin comes in. And so we like to use the stove test. I say take your favorite pots and pans and put them on the burners on your stove, using the burners on your stove as a guide for how many you should keep and then tuck the rest away in a Time Will Tell bin. Or if you're brave, just go ahead and donate them. You're not actually going to miss them ever. Okay, so again, why does the happy birthday rule work? Because we're creatures of habit who use the same stuff over and over again, and we don't end up ever missing this stuff that doesn't pass the birthday test. But again, keep the goal in front of you. Do you want a home that is peaceful and easy to maintain? And do you want to feel more successful as a mom and spouse and partner and housekeeper, sister, daughter, all the areas of our life? Again, I couldn't believe how decluttering and simplifying our home impacted all of those areas. But most importantly, I started to look at our stuff so much differently. So I know, there's going to be things right now that are hard for you to part with, especially if you've spent money on them. I get it, that's still going to sting. But use it as data. And this is going to help us make better buying decisions moving forward. Through this process of decluttering, you are going to become such a better consumer and you're not going to have all of this guilt around things that you've bought that you don't end up using. So push through the discomfort and the hard part. I would encourage you to look at your current age and look to, and just go through your house right now and try and declutter or time will tell that number of items. Even if your decluttering hasn't been going as fast as you've wanted it to, you are going to feel back on top and in charge again. And it is going to feel so good. And I would love to spend more time with you and help you declutter your house more. So please subscribe so that you're notified when new videos come out. But also we obviously have a library of old videos and we have a membership group. If you want just a little more extra support, encouragement, people to talk about your decluttering with lots of live decluttering and accountability. So I'll put details for that down below. It might be worth investing in it for three, six, 12 months, to get your house fully decluttered and back on top. And then you just get to enjoy all the benefits and you don't have to keep doing all the hard work anymore, right? All right. Well, I'm here to support you any way that I can. I love you. I hope you have a really good day and I'll see you again soon.