#MinimalistStyle, #SimpleLiving, #MinimalDesign

I want you to forget everything you think you know about decluttering. Because today, I'm going to ask you to do something that might feel wasteful, irresponsible, or just plain wrong. And that is letting go of perfectly good stuff. But spoiler alert, by the end of this video, I hope to convince you that doing so isn't actually bad or wasteful at all. Because some things cost us a whole lot more when we keep them. And the real life-changing magic of decluttering happens when you stop asking Asking questions like. Do I like this? Does this spark joy? And dig deeper into the psychology of why we buy the things that we buy and keep the things that we keep. And once this mindset shift clicks, it's going to create a domino effect of radical simplicity that spills over into every square inch of your home and life. Let's dive in. Hi friend, and welcome or welcome back to my channel. My name is Marissa, and this is A to Zen Life, where we talk about the A to Z of how to simplify your way to a happier, richer, and better life. So be sure to hit the subscribe button and turn on all notifications if that sounds like your jam. And what I want to do now is take you through my home and show you examples of perfectly good things to get rid of. And I'm going to walk you through why I'm decluttering And the mindset shifts you need to make. If you want to purge them from your home as well, starting with number one on this list, which are items that you haven't opened or used for whatever reason. So here we are in my kitchen and under this hand towel we have a mystery kitchen gadget that I purchased months ago but that hasn't been used a single time since we bought it. But before I show you what this is, I want you to think about all of the items you have in your home that fit into this category. It could be fancy baskets and bins that you never got around to using, luxury shoes that were so expensive that you're afraid to wear them outside. Or clothes in your closet that you never wear and even might still have the price tag hanging off of them. And don't worry because we're definitely going to be circling back to clothes a little bit later in this video. But now I want to show you the kitchen gadget that's been collecting dust in my cabinet for the past four months. Are you ready? Ta-da! The at-home deli Meat maker. After 10 years of minimalism, I don't make very many impulse purchases, but this was definitely one of them. And the reason that we buy things is because we want to solve a problem, right? So what was the problem that I wanted to solve with this purchase? Well. It's recently been coming out how bad deli meat is for us and colorectal cancer is on the rise and almost every week my husband had been sending me articles about How bad deli meat is for our bodies. So we cut back on our deli meat consumption, but then it was making things a lot harder for me because then that meant that the food that I could make for my boys' lunches was much, much more limited. So when this came across my feed, I thought this is the perfect solution. I can make this in advance and keep it in the refrigerator and have a quick and easy lunch to make to send with my kids to school. So the problem I was looking for a solution to was the avoidance of unhealthy foods and a way to alleviate my mom guilt. But then the guilt that I avoided with this purchase turned into guilt for not using this thing. You know what's funny about this? I just realized that here it says, It says, say hi to your new life. And I think it should be more like say hi to your new lies because I lied to myself when I was buying this thing. And true story, within seven days of purchasing this thing, I realized that it was going to be too much trouble and I was probably never going to use it. So I actually wanted to return it within the return window. But my husband swore up and down that he was going to use this thing all the Well, I detect to determine. I checked my purchase history and that was 128 days ago as of making this video. And when I thought about it, I think that the two main reasons that we've continued holding on to this thing are, first of all, the thought that we should keep it just in case, famous last words, just in case. And two, out of guilty feelings for wasting money on this thing. But when we address that guilt over wasted money, we have to accept that the money is actually wasted when we purchase the item that we don't use, not when we let go of it. And the cost of something isn't just about a price tag, it's about how much value that thing adds to your life. I might have spent $30 on this, but it's adding $0 in value to my life when I don't use it. So that $30 I spent was really to learn a lesson not to fall for gimmicky kitchen gadgets. I also spoke with my husband and got him to admit that he's probably never going to get around to using it either. And I don't need to keep this product because I have so many others I love to use and that I know fit my family's lifestyle needs and space. If you're not sure about something, one good rule from the minimalist is the 90-90 rule, which is that if you haven't used something for 90 days and you have no plans to use it in the next 90 days, then you can consider getting rid of it. And obviously things like winter coats and holiday decor don't apply to this rule, but I think you get the gist. So take a look around your home and see if there are things that have been lingering for months, years, or even decades without being touched or used, and now might be a good time to let go of them. And speaking of things that haven't been touched or used for years, the next thing I'm throwing away is food that's expired or going unused in your kitchen and pantry. This is a clutter category I hate talking about because whenever I declutter food, I always get mean comments about how wasteful it is to throw away perfectly good food. And it's hard to disagree because as a frugal person, as well as a minimalist, I hate, hate, hate wasting food. But at the same time as a busy mom who has kids with food allergies and who also have very different tastes and preferences, I know that at some point I also have to be honest with myself and accept when things are never going to get eaten. Which brings us right back to this package of dry Korean pancake mix, which as you can see we did open and only used once or twice. Before my kids decided they didn't like it and as you can see it has a best by date of February 2024. So I am going to go ahead and get rid of this and two key mindset shifts that can help you let go if you struggle with this kind of clutter is number one someone else could use this more than me. And if you have unexpired and unopened food, spices, teas, et cetera, you can either give them to a friend or family member you know would like them, or donate them to a local food pantry. Or you could even try your local firefighter's department and, for example, Halloween is coming up and in... Our neighborhood, people are so generous and everyone gives and gets a ton of candy, way more than anyone could ever eat. So a lot of moms, what they'll do is donate the excess to the firefighters at the local fire department. It's a win-win situation. My dad used to be a firefighter and I think that he would have really enjoyed this practice if the moms in our neighborhood had done that growing up. And then two, if the food is expired or it's unopened but unwanted, I used to really struggle with letting go of food like that as a recovered hoarder and someone who struggled with emotional overeating. And something that my therapist told me years and years ago that always stuck with me is not to treat my body or my home like a trash can to store and dispose of unwanted food. And it's better for those things to go to the landfill versus turning my body and my home into the landfill. And then going forward, treat unwanted and expired food as data that you can use to meal plan better and reduce food waste in the future. Next up, we have what I like to call the three U's of books, magazines, and cookbooks. And the U's stand for unread, unfinished, and unwanted. I would say that I've actually gotten pretty good at not buying books and cookbooks that I don't read or that I don't enjoy, and I'll talk about my method for that in just a minute. But to illustrate this point, I actually want to refer to this book called Hidden Figures that I borrowed from the library. And I just want to start off by saying I wanted to finish this This book is so... badly and for those of you who aren't familiar with this book it's based on a true story about a group of brilliant African-American female mathematicians who worked as human computers at NASA during the space race of the 1950s and 60s and the reason this book landed on my radar was because they actually made a movie about this book with a star-studded cast that included incredibly talented actresses like Octavia Spencer, Taraji P. Henson and Janelle Monae and y'all I think I'm just going to have to watch the movie because this book made me feel so dumb like dum-dum. What are you? An idiot sandwich. An idiot sandwich. An idiot sandwich. What an idiot sandwich, Chef Ramsay True story, I was mostly a straight-A student growing up, and the only D I ever got in my entire life was in math class, and reading this book, which is heavy on math and engineering concepts, gave me traumatic flashbacks to high school. And it's not just books that are way over my head that fall into this category. It's also books I acquire But never get around to reading, such as this Jane Austen novel I picked up at the Little Free Library in our neighborhood, only to send it right back after a few months because I never got around to reading it. In the past, I used to try to power through books like this, whether it was because I felt like everybody else liked them, so why shouldn't I? Or because I felt like I had something to prove to myself. But nowadays, I've accepted that I have a limited amount of time on this earth and I don't need to spend it on books that aren't a good fit for me. And doing so is not a failure on the part part of the book or on me, it's just simply a mismatch of time, energy, or interest. And that actually reminds me of one of my favorite Marie Kondo quotes referring to decluttering books, where she talks about how there's no need to finish reading books that you only got halfway through because their purpose was to be read halfway through. And that teaches you something. And I think This same rule applies to books, magazines, and cookbooks that you buy but never read or use. And my hack for avoiding this is to do my best to borrow books and audiobooks from my local library or Libby first, and only on the rare occasion that I'm interested in re-reading them again do I actually consider buying that book or audiobook to own for myself. I talked about this habit in more detail in a recent video that I'll link up here for you in case you're interested in checking it out and hearing more frugal minimalist tips and hacks. But speaking of money, sometimes our desire to save money can turn into a scarcity mindset that holds us back and costs us in other ways, which I like to call the valuable junk trap, aka the kind of clutter you keep around your home because it might be worth something. And look, I get it. As someone who has made tens of thousands of dollars selling my clutter on sites like eBay and Facebook Marketplace after decluttering 90% of my stuff all those years ago, and who gets tons of questions about this all the time on my channel, I am a huge fan of selling unwanted stuff, but only if it's worth my time and effort to do so, which Spoiler alert, a lot of older folks who are downsizing and their children who are helping them do so are getting a huge reality check about at the moment because a lot of this stuff that they thought was worth hundreds, thousands, or even millions of dollars is turning out to be more often than not just junk. Consistent story is mom and dad told me this stuff was really, was just really high end, very expensive. We've been keeping it in storage for five, ten years. The worst I've heard is 15. That's the worst that I've heard. It's always, 99% of the time, a heartbreaking conversation on the phone. And people call and they're expecting some life-changing money out of the antique furniture and items in their storage. And I have to tell them that I don't even think you'll get a couple months rent that way. If you inherited stuff instead of money, miracle. Did your family swear those Beanie Babies were an investment? I hate to break it to you, but those old collectibles in your basement, they're not going to pay your bills and they're not going to make you rich. Time and time again, I work with clients who say, They'll sell them someday, but they never actually do. In fact, studies show only 25% of people follow through and make the sale. When your basement turns into the family pawn shop, books, toys, cassette tapes, sports cards, your brain tells you keep it because it could be worth something. But here's the truth. You don't get your money back by keeping the item. That's money that's already gone. So how do you decide if it's worth it or not for you to actually sell something? To help you with this, I want to share Two psychological biases that not only can brainwash you into thinking your stuff is worth way more than it actually is, but that also trick you into wasting precious moments of your life storing and managing stuff instead of living your life. The first bias is called loss aversion, which means that to us humans, the pain of losing something feels about twice as powerful as the pleasure that we get from gaining the exact same thing. And then second, there's something called the endowment effect, which means that we tend We tend to place more value on something simply because we ourselves own it. Which is why the hoarder house down the street from us that was left in chaos and unoccupied for seven plus years took so long to sell because even though it was in terrible condition, it was listed at least $200,000 over the price that it should have been. That just goes to show you, sometimes being DeLulu isn't the Salulu. Anyway, going back to the psychology of clutter, when you put those two biases together, suddenly grandpa's old guitar that's been collecting dust in your basement for the past 30 years becomes a priceless family heirloom worth at least $500 in your mind. And that is how we fall into the valuable junk trap of being so afraid of losing money that we hold onto things that have no real value to us. Other than the arbitrary price tag we've bestowed upon them in our heads. So again, how do you decide what to sell and what to donate or give away? First of all, you need to set boundaries to define what makes something worth it to you. And that can include financial boundaries, like saying if you can't get more than $50 for something, it's not worth your time. Or it can be space boundaries, like when I was selling our stuff in preparation for our move to Germany. And I set the boundary that I could only sell as much stuff as could fit in our garage and lower level office. And actually going back to financial boundaries, I have a really good example of this. So a while back, I decluttered a beautiful green vase because it was impractical and I never got around to using it despite owning it for years. And at first I was thinking of selling that vase on Facebook marketplace. But then, when I took a look at what other similar glass vases were selling for, I decided it wasn't worth my time and effort just to get $5 or $10 for that, and I decided to donate it. But then if you compare that to the vintage audio equipment that we've been selling off that the previous owners of our home left behind when they moved out, Items like these power amplifiers and isolators that sold for $1,200 and $1,500 respectively were well worth the time and effort in my opinion. And it's also a good idea to set deadlines or goal dates for when you want those items to be sold by, because otherwise it can turn into just one more task that you have on a never ending to do list. And if you really, really struggle to change your mindset around this, I encourage you to check out these three books, which aren't about decluttering per se, but that I found really helpful. The first book is called The Five Types of Wealth by author Sahil Bloom. And in this book, the author talks about a huge aha moment he had during a conversation with a friend whose father was dying and the shockingly simple math that led him to realize that if he only saw his aging parents on the other side of the country once a year, at their age, that meant That meant he was only going to see them 15 more times before they passed away. And even though the men who wrote the other two books were born thousands of years apart, both of them offer similar sentiments. The first one is 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. And the second is Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. And I know the topic of facing your own mortality might feel morbid or uncomfortable, but it's also 100% true. And it's up for you to decide If you'd rather spend the grains of sand left in your hourglass, On storing and selling a bunch of stuff or on living your life. Like I said, I definitely encourage you to check out these books. And you can check your local library or Libby to see if they're available there. That's where I listened to both Meditations and 4,000 Weeks as audiobooks first before I decided to buy my own physical copy. But I will be sure to link to these books down in the description box below for you so that you can check out the reviews and read a little bit more about them and see if they might be right for you. And finally, the last item on this list is clothes you don't like or enjoy wearing. And for this example, I have this linen maxi dress that I got from Etsy for $140 about four years ago. And these skinny jeggings that I thrifted at Goodwill for I think around $5. And the reason I'm decluttering these perfectly good clothes has nothing to do with quality or price. And everything to do with the fact that I simply don't wear them. Both of these items were bought with the best intentions in the world. Like when I got this dress, linen clothes were all the rage in the minimalism and simple living communities and I spent a ton of time comparing brands and styles and I even ordered color swatches from a bunch of different ethical linen companies so I could pick out just the right color for my complexion. But as I talked about in a previous video, I'm more of a gardening in my husband's old clothes girly than I am a gardening in pretty dresses kind of girly. And this dress ended up being more of a fantasy self-purchase for me. And interestingly, the same thing goes for these jeggings, which I thought that I would love because as a proud late millennial, I used to love me some skinny jeans. And I actually wore my last pair of skinny jeans until they literally gave out and got holes worn in the knees. But what I realize nowadays is I appreciate a cozy and relaxed fit more than anything else. So after years of making excuses and only wearing these two items of clothing for the occasional video, I'm finally ready to let them go. And I encourage you to go through your closet and do the same and ask yourself questions such as, would I purchase this item again today if I had the chance? Am I using and honoring this or simply afraid to let it go? And is there someone else who could use this more than me? And if you could use a helping hand in deciding what to keep and what to let go of, be sure and grab my free 10-page decluttering workbook that I've linked down below for you, which includes a five-step decluttering guide, 15 questions to help you declutter, and a checklist of 500 things you can start getting rid of today. So like I said, I will be sure to link to that down in the description box and pin comment down below for you. And I also want to encourage everyone watching this video to let go of guilt about the habits and mistakes that led to the clutter we've been chatting about in today's video and use what you've learned about psychology and the data that you've gathered from this video, as well as your own past experiences to level up and be more mindful and intentional with with your shopping habits going forward. Because like the saying goes, those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And if you're looking for more tips about that or how to get started with decluttering or minimalism, be sure to go check out one of these videos that YouTube thinks that you'll like, or I'll see you next week where we're going to dive into even more detail about minimalist wardrobes. Until then, take care. Bye-bye.