My Cousin Constantly Brags About Their Money

[Music] brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. So, my question to you is um I'll just kind of give a little scenario here. You know, we have several family gatherings um you know, several times a year. Um and one of my relatives um always seems to uh turn the conversations to money, you know, like how much things cost, how much she spends, what she pays for things. um and you know, right down to kind of the very high dollar amounts. So, for example, at Easter, um you know, she told all of us that her bonus payment was so big that she could buy herself a brand new BMW that we all got to go uh take a tour of out in her garage. And so, she just up and said that out of the clear blue sky kind of and then said, "Hey, you guys want to come out to the garage and check it out?" The garage come out and see my new car. You know, real quick question. I want you to keep going, but I'm just curious. Um, what is the relationship? Can you tell us what that is? Is it sibling? Uh, it's a c it's a first cousin. First cousin. And did did you grow up with said cousin? Did you spend a lot of time with her as you were growing up or was it more distant? Yeah, I Yep. I would say we were very and we're to this day almost very much like sisters. Okay. Oh. And how does this rub you when this happens? And you just gave us one example, but this is a pattern. Yeah. Right. Yes. And so that's why I'm calling because it does bother me. And you know, I I make a very good salary. I'm a registered nurse. And um you know, I just I certainly don't feel comfortable talking about, you know, how much I paid for things and and how much things cost. Do you think she's trying to make do you let me do you think that she is trying to get a rise out of you when she says it or do you think that for her she's comfortable talking about money and you're just not comfortable? Does that make sense? Which one is it? Is is the onus more on her or more on you? I think it's more on her like maybe to um kind of brag it up and um give me some more examples of what she might do. I want to know more. Hey, George here in the control booth, and I bet you're wondering what they're going to say next. Get out of debt. Sell the horse. yada yada yada. The advice may be predictable, but the internet is anything but. You see, your personal info is out there up for grabs by shady companies ready to add more scam and spam to your life. And that's why I use Delete Me. Delete Me will scrub your data from all of these sites so that you can focus on the Ramsay Show instead of who's buying and selling your info. And Ramsay fans get 20% off at jointdeleteme.com/ramsey or by using the link in the description below. So go take control of your privacy as soon as this call is over. Give me some more examples of what she might do. I want to know more. Um so oh um you know I so when we when we first got there first of all she had bought um um some jackets and they didn't fit and and so she gave me one of the jackets. So I was like oh let me you know I'll pay for it. you know, it was a nice jacket and she had bought one for her sister and it was like, "Oh, no, no, no." You know, and I was like, "Oh, I really like it. Where'd you get it?" And it was, you know, from this expensive denim company and it was, you know, I mean, I paid $80 for it. And has she has she ever said anything bad about you? Like, has she ever done the backhanded compliment where it's like, "Well, I know you probably couldn't afford something like this, so just take it." Like, is she giving a backhanded compliment when she does it? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that. No, not at all. It's almost like um maybe she's a little and I'm probably answering my own question. Maybe she's insecure and 100%. That's the third scenario. I think she wants us to know how successful she is. I think that's what's going on. I don't Well, I want I want to dig a little more. I want to dig a little more. So far, I'm going to tell you the side of the fence I'm on. So far, Tracy, I think I think it might be more you than her. so far. Okay. And I and that I don't say like neither of you is a bad person or neither of you is like uh even an insecure thing. I think some people are way more confident talking about money. And I do think that there's certain things that it's just like she's in a mode in her lifestyle right now. I don't It doesn't sound like she's trying to I don't know. All right, let's go rewind. I We We've got your opinion. I want to rewind. But I have Let me just finish. Here's the thing. If my brother came home and I think he did come home with a new truck and he was like, "Oh," he was I said, "Oh, is that a new car out in the driveway?" He's like, "Oh, yeah. I just got it. Let me go see Let's go see it." And you go look at it. Like, I feel like that is kind of normal. And it's like, yeah, you know, I never thought I'd be able to get it, but I got a raise and I was able to get it. Like, I that I think that's okay. And then when you were telling me about the jacket, I was kind of like, well, yeah. I feel like if my if I bought a jacket, I would give the other one to my sister. I'm pretty sure I have done that. And as long as she's not saying things like, do you know what I mean? Like to be like, "Oh, well, I I'll give it to you. I mean, I'm sure like I I you might not ever be able to have this, so I'm giving you like that would make me that would burn me up, right?" All right. I got to ask. Okay. I got I want some more questions. All right. So, Tracy, are you the only family member that notices this and talks about this and is irritated by this? I don't know the answer to that because I haven't really talked to any of my other family members about you've not seen something. All right, another question. Sorry, I'm not cutting you off. I'm going to do rapid fire here. Okay. Have you When she said that, let's talk about the BMW thing and it came out of the blue. Did you see anybody else kind of look at you like roll or make the un like, oh jeez. Did Did any of that happen? No, I did not. You didn't see that? No, it's just kind of like, oh wow, great. Okay. All right. Okay. This is great. This is great. But you know, no nonverbal, no nonverbals, nothing that like, you know, the behind the back rolling the nothing like that. Nobody else is saying this. Okay, Jay, this is stacking up nicely for you. But I'm not done. I'm not done. Keep going. Dig in. Dig in. I'm digging. This is really fun for me. Uh, okay. Um, when you said to us that you think she's insecure, give us some evidence as to you. You said she's like a sister to you. Give me one other very clear example of her insecurity and how it pops up around how much money she makes. I don't know if I can give any other um examples other than the fact that it just always seems it's something that the conversation is somehow going towards um you know I went shopping and I spent $1,000 on clothes now, you know, I mean to get a bonus big enough to buy a BMW. Wow. One more question. I I I disagree with Jade. I will say I'm going to make a statement then a question. I disagree that that it's just normal for somebody at an Easter gathering to bring up that they got a massive bonus and went out and bought a Beamer and I want to show you. I got to tell you, if one of my cousins did that, I'd be like, you're a pin head. I wouldn't say that to him, but I'm like, I think that's obnoxious to say the absolute least. So, I don't I'm I'm on team Tracy because of that behavior. I would want to know. I feel like the question is the question is I know exactly how it happened when she's around you without discussing money she just always takes it to how much she spent on something. That's what I heard. It seems Yes. Yes. It's always like we talk about other things but then it always kind of gravitates back towards how much something cost or oh we need to get a new roof and now I'm ready to rule. Okay. But my question to you is how do you how do I handle that? That's where I'm going. Kill them with kindness. I I think I want to know what Jade says, so I'll be quick. Here's what I think. I think that um a lot of this is her and I think it's very normal for you to actually feel this way. However, you're giving her way too much power and it's not your problem to fix. It's not your conversation to have. I think she is who she is and I don't think you confronting her is going to change it. So, I would go the route of putting up a boundary that every time she does that, I would change the subject on her. And I think it'll do two things for you. It'll train you to not give her power and let it irritate you. And number two, I think it puts up a natural conversational boundary to change the subject. Jade, you got 20 seconds. What would you add to that? I'd want to know if she started from nothing. Like, did she start from the bottom and now we're here and she's just looking for someone to celebrate with because I want to celebrate with my sister and I do. This is obnoxious insecurity. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your