7 Things I Did to Stop Wasting My Evenings After Work

Most people, including myself, waste their evenings without even realizing it. So when I was working the job, I dreaded it. I didn't just want more time. I wanted a different life. I dreamed of changing careers, starting a business, seeing friends and family more, working out more frequently, or just having time for myself. But I felt powerless until I discovered this strategy to reclaim those precious hours after work. Because your evenings are your unfair advantage if you use them well. So in this video, I'll share seven things that helped me to stop wasting my evenings and finally start moving forward, even with a 9 to 5. And the first thing I took action on is to stop living on autopilot. So here's what used to happen. I get home, open the door, I toss my keys down, open the fridge, and would collapse into the couch. I would either turn on the TV or scroll through my phone. I think that for the next 10 minutes, I'll just chill here. But by the time I looked up and I realized two hours passed by and I spent a doom scrolling or just binging on another season of my latest obsession on Netflix. And what I found is that what you do in those first few moments after you walk in the door can really shape the next few hours. For me, I realized that this wasn't a motivation problem. It was a problem I created in my own environment. And I decided that when I get to the door, I will go to the kitchen, pour a glass of water or make a cup of my favorite tea and put on some relaxing music. And if the weather is nice, I go for a walk around the neighborhood and just go for a walk outside to get some fresh air. It's not super fancy or complicated, but it interrupts the negative loop. And the same goes for me going to the gym right after work or sitting at a cafe with my journal because you're avoiding the pull of the old habits and you're nudging yourself towards better ones because of it. And that's why this works because our behaviors can feel automatic and we're doing it almost unconsciously. And believe it or not, your environment is programming you every day. So what's the habit your environment's making you do? Even when I broke out of autopilot, I still made this next mistake, the one that kept me busy but not really moving forward. So this is when I finally learned to prioritize what's important versus urgent. I would sit down at my desk after work. I'll start checking my emails, reorganize my notes, tweet my calendar again, watch another productivity video. It felt like I was doing something, but I was avoiding taking the action I needed. And here's what changed everything. I started asking myself one simple question every single night. What is the highest leverage action I can take? And this really helped me to stop choosing easy tasks and start choosing the important ones. So writing instead of researching a project, creating a rough draft of my YouTube videos instead of endlessly planning another one. And this principle comes from the 80-20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle. So think about it, right? Probably 20% of the things that you're doing right now at anything, whether it's your job, finances, health, relationships, personal life, they are driving 80% of your results in those areas. And to help you put these into action, I use a productivity matrix, which you can download for free in the description below. It's a simple tool to help you clearly identify your high impact task versus the low value ones. So this next shift is what really changed my evening and the next morning. I created my wind down ritual, which is my evening anchor. Most people, when they end their workday physically, their mind stays in office mode. It's like your body has left work, but your brain is still in the meeting. And that's what I used to do. I would finish work, but then I just couldn't stop keeping checking emails, refresh Slack, or mentally replaying things I forgot to do. Until I try something small, I created an evening anchor that really sets my wind down ritual. It's called cognitive offloading and the process to clear the clutter in your mind, to reset for a focus and relax evening after work. Because your brain holds on to unfinished tasks, like the open browser tabs on your very busy internet browser. And I think this is such a great way to describe the same effect on our brain. And it's called the Zeigarnik effect, our tendency to remember and stress about these incomplete things. You know, those moments where you lie awake at night, think about that email you need to reply to, or some WhatsApp messages that you haven't got to. And this open loop in your mind can really heighten the level of stress that you have in the evenings and day. And now before I shut down my laptop, I grab a notepad and I do my cognitive offload. I write down things such as the loose ends I didn't get to, or the ideas that popped up or conversations I need to revisit tomorrow. And this made such a massive difference in how I wind down between work and life. If you want to get even more practical, try writing down tomorrow's top three priorities before you go to bed. I found that this tiny habit, it clears more mental clutter and gives you the head start for the next day. Because for me, I realized that every new day really begins the night before. So this next shift, it helped me to create more structure and progress in what I do. And that is, I turn my evenings into MVP time. So MVP stands for maintenance, value, and people. During the maintenance block, maybe you're cooking, taking a walk, just maintenance and calming down from a very busy day. So rest and recovery are not luxuries, and it's something that we all need to create peak performance in our lives. And during the value block, this is where you learn something, maybe read, journal, write, or draw, maybe work on the idea or dream that you keep postponing. Just really focus on taking one small action in that evening. And it feels so good to have made progress on something, even if it's just super small steps. And I have the people block, which is a time to connect with family, friends, or even just yourself. Sometimes this looks like a deep conversation when you call a friend. Sometimes it's just sharing something with a partner and actually being present. Talk about your day and what's going on in your mind. Or my favorite one is spending time with my daughter. I rehearse story before bed and do a pre bedtime cuddle before saying good night. So this MVP rhythm for me, it turns my evenings from reactive to being intentional. And even one evening a week like this can really compound into positive changes in my relationships, growing as an individual or doing things that really matters to me and allowing myself to have enough rest to face the next day. So think about how you can design your MVP that works with your unique schedule and situation. And this next change in my evening routine is something that a lot of people overlook. And that is how I rebuild my evening around my energy rhythms. And this one really changed everything for me. I used to get really frustrated when I couldn't be productive. I would punish myself for feeling so drained. When most days I was already burned out because your body has this internal biological clock called the circadian rhythm. And it doesn't just control when you feel sleepy, it influences your ability to focus, create and solve problems. So I learned this the hard way. My energy wasn't on the same schedule as my Google calendar. And I want to thank my husband, Simon Alexander Ong, the author of the bestselling book Energize for making me realize this and applying this in my life. Since I understood about how we should work with our energy, I tried a different approach. Instead of planning by time, I started planning by energy. We're all different in our peak performance hours in the day and night. So if you feel fried after work, maybe you're not unmotivated. Maybe you're just misaligned with the energy level and what you want to get done. And I want to mention here is that not everyone's the same. You might be a night owl, then lean to that. And you're probably much more productive in the evenings than me, who's a morning person. If you are a morning person, shift your goals to before work instead. And let evening sometimes be a reset space. I find that if I wake up earlier before the rest of my family, I can get so much more done in the early morning hours and produce higher quality work than I would in the evenings. Because productivity isn't about doing more. It's about doing the right things at the right time for you. And speaking of routines, which can be so important to us for our well-being and energy, I want to tell you about this video sponsor, Circle DNA. For years, I kept trying different diets, workouts, and routines. So some things worked and others didn't. And then I found and tried Circle DNA. So it gave me a whole new level of insights on what worked best for me. So for example, it turns out that I respond best to a low carb diet. And that strength training is more effective for me than cardio. What really surprised me was learning that I have a genetic sensitivity to sleep disruption. And that really explains the restless nights. And it helped me to finally create an evening routine that works with my own body. And the test also includes 500 plus deeper insights into things like disease risk, nutrition, mental health, and so much more. I found the process to be super simple. I took a saliva sample at home, then I sent it off. And a few weeks later, I had access to all the results in my Circle DNA app. If you want personalized genetic insights to optimize your health, I recommend checking out Circle DNA. And I've added a link in the description with a discount to check it out. This next strategy. So I started combining routine physical activities with more important mental learning activities. I don't just do this at night, but I do this on my commute to work or on my way to pick up my daughter at school. This approach allows you to maximize your time without adding more pressure on your day. When I do chores like folding laundry, I listen to my favorite podcasts or audiobooks. During my daily commute home, I write down creative ideas and insights in my notes on my phone. And on my walks to go wind down, if I get an inspiration, I use voice notes to record my ideas for my business. And I find that even mundane activities like washing dishes, it became this opportunity for mindfulness. And the key here isn't about cramming more into your schedule. It's about creating meaningful depth within the time that you're already investing in everyday activities anyway. This next one is a bonus tip that I think all of us need to implement in our schedule. And that is to have one unstructured evening every single week and look after your overall well-being. Now I intentionally block off one unstructured evening per week during the weekdays. So for me, there's no plan. There's no guilt. I'm just allowing myself to embrace the joy of missing out, Jomo. Because I realized that sometimes my best ideas comes when I'm either in the shower, working out, or cooking and taking a walk. And the paradox here is that this one night off, it probably helped me to be more consistent across the rest of the week. So don't make the same mistakes I did in the beginning of my career in business where I slept the bare minimum of a few hours a night and I signed myself up for the never-ending hustle culture and actually burned out frequently and got so ill and sick that it would take me weeks to recover. And then the vicious cycle would start again. Having this one unstructured evening really allowed me to put in some spontaneity and fun into that time. So don't forget to enjoy your evenings after work as much as you're moving forward on what matters to you. So if you find yourself constantly losing your evenings after work, you don't need more hours. You need a smarter way to use the ones that you already have. If this video helped, consider sharing it with a friend who's stuck in that same after-work spiral. And tell me in the comments below, what's the one thing you're going to reclaim your evenings for starting tonight? And if you're curious how I plan my days, not just evenings, for momentum as well, this next video breaks it all down. Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in the next video.