Melinda French Gates talks new book, 'The Next Day'

Now a philanthropist, author, and someone I am very grateful to call a good friend, Melinda French-Gates. She's written a beautiful new book. It is called The Next Day, Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward. It is personal, it is inspiring, and there is wisdom on every page, Melinda. Thank you. Good to see you. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. Wanted to talk to you about this because you said this is really like a guide of the moments that really propel us, you know. So just share some of those moments for you. Yeah, sure. For me, the birth of my first child, launching three children to college, the death of a really good friend in my 30s, I got divorced a year ago, I left the foundation, and I've just learned that these are the transitions and the moments that make us if we allow them a little bit of space and time and some grace. And some grace, and that is a key word, and sometimes it's more difficult to show ourselves this grace. I was surprised. I mean, I know you went to Duke, but it was your commencement at Stanford, where you had some family members, of course, at Stanford as well, that really led to this book. And this is something that you said in your commencement address. You said, I've learned that the next day is when the real work begins because what we do the next day is what makes us who we are. So tell us the meaning behind next day. Yes. So some of the Stanford seniors, when I asked them what I should speak about, they said, you know, we feel like everyone coaches us to kind of be on one path in life. But if you believe there are openings and room for change, talk to us about that. And what I realized is sometimes you leave a job and you start your next one. But if you jump immediately to the next thing, you miss that time to pause. It's the pausing, what I call in the clearing between one thing and the next, where there's a lot of growth that you can pull in yourself, even if it's scary or even if it's exciting, pause and listen and learn the lessons that are there for you. But you talk about this and I have something that I've dealt with balancing the yes, I'm very career minded and goal oriented, but then also being open to this infinite possibilities, new possibilities. So how can someone strike that balance? Yeah, I talk about this in the book because I was so goal oriented when I was in middle school, high school beyond. And I think we need that. But you also have to leave some room to say, hey, maybe something or someone I never knew we would meet will come along in my life and help set me on a different path. And I think there's a lot of beauty in that, too. So we do have to try and balance both. I know. And that balance, that B word can be so hard, but it's so you miss out on so much when you're always like looking for the next thing and moving to it really fast. Exactly. You mentioned divorce and I've known you a long time and you're a very private person and people respect that. In the book, you really open up about the divorce like we've never heard before. Why was that important to you? Well, it was important because if I'm going to be my most authentic self, people knew I had gone through it. And unfortunately and it's hard. It's hard on any family. So I write from my perspective, but I wouldn't it's not something I would wish on anybody. And unfortunately, so many families go through it and it is a big transition. And for me, while it was painful, for sure, I ended up learning some lessons and there was some growth in there, too. I know. And you shared those lessons with those because, you know, people walk a similar path. I love how you talk about because my mom used to do this and I haven't had in my morning message seasons. We're in different seasons in our life. You're enjoying this season. You turn the big six. So I embraced it and all that. And then you also come up with a word for the year. And what was your word for this year? A discover, discover. So what are you discovering about this season of your life? I'm discovering I have two granddaughters. One of them is just over two years old. The other is five months. And I'm discovering that sense of play again, the way I played when I was a kid, the way I played with my children, swinging on swings with my granddaughter, running in the grass and learning that there's still a lot of play and so much joy in life. And joy is the word joy because people look for happiness. Happiness is contingent on something. Joy is like you said, swinging with your grandchild. Totally like that. You know, listening this morning, I was walking down the street in New York and I could hear the song of a bird. And like, I just found the joy in that in a very early morning, which you all do here. Yeah, we could hear that over there next day. What do you want people to find for their next day? I want them to learn that even in the scary times of transition to pause, listen to their inner voice. It has something to tell them. Lean into your family and friends. And if you're like me, who is quite a perfectionist on her goal list, try and drop some of that because that's where there's a lot of growth and resiliency and joy. I know. And you really open up about that. And thank you for sharing as much as you, as you always do. And I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you at your book event. Thank you so much. And thank you for having me as a guest on your podcast. Oh, I'm so excited about that. You're really good at that too. I've got to say, you've got a lot of things going on. Lots of moments that make our lives, right? I love that. And the next day is available the next day tomorrow. You can find it wherever books are sold.