We Were The Only Ones Left Out Of An Inheritance

[Music] brought to you by chm a biblically based alternative to health insurance learn more at chministries.org budget my question is we recently found out through my sister-in-law my husband and I that um there is inheritance money we did not know existed through my uh husband's parents who got it from his grandma and they he's one of nine siblings and all of them have used that we know of have used that inheritance money for paying for grad school and we did not know this was available um we paid our way through grad school and my husband graduated about three years ago and we are in between baby steps three and four trying to save up for a house and so we feel a little um I don't know no you feel a lot whatever you feel it's a lot wait are you in the will and it just wasn't distributed to you or were you not in the will to get it we're not sure it just slipped through my sister-in-law this past weekend on a family trip that Grandma's inheritance money paid for her husband my brother's um my husband's brother to go through grad school and we asked oh is this the same for all other eight siblings and she said yeah you guys didn't know I'm like no we we paid our way through grad school who's the executor who's the who's in charge of it probably I would guess my father-in-law okay have you gone to him or well not you but has your husband cuz I feel like this is his yeah battle by the way um has he gone to the grandfather and said no his dad yeah to his dad and said did I did I miss something I like and here's the thing and can hold me back but you can't go in entitled you just have to ask you be curious hey I was on a trip and this was what I found out I I don't know but it sounded like it was for everybody and if it is I wonder if we you know were overlooked in some way can you give me more information yeah that guess that was part of my question we have not approached him yet or my husband hasn't because I don't want to come across as you know needy or well remember you don't need to be involved in this this is not your deal your husband now if you got to give him a pep talk and fire him up and let him borrow some of your backbone that's one thing yeah but you don't talk you don't say anything to the In-laws on this okay because is is it possible that the sister-in-law doesn't know what she's talking about um it's possible um I guess that's part of the issue is um they're quite a bit younger than us and they own two properties and we are like no no I get all this first of all save up for house wait a second I detect something and I'm not trying to call you out but I I detect the air of um I wish I'm not going to say jealousy but I detect an air of we should have they have or they shouldn't have does that make sense I'm not I'm not trying to put you on the spot but yeah so let's talk about this then let's pretend that you said hey we're not in the will what gives like what if you talk to what if your husband talks to the dad and it's like sorry yeah you weren't a part of this what what what then would your attitude be towards it I think I'd be okay with that okay no you wouldn't you would not be okay with with being the only your husband being the only sibling who didn't get some of this inheritance I mean you'd at least have questions right I would have questions that I I don't think I honestly don't think I'd have I wouldn't ask any further okay yeah but I just want to call this out I know you're going another angle no you call it out Ken I I'm not saying you're wrong I think she kind of admitted to I couldn't hear her but but I Michaela is n it's very natural for you to feel this way because your husband feels though he might be wronged and when your husband or spouse this goes both ways gets wronged we the spouse we're on their side we just really get affected so all of this is very normal glad you called us um we've already told you what we think but your husband needs to sit with Dad and soon and just ask questions this is what I was my wife was told is this true he gets to the bottom of it and then you guys will have to deal with whatever that is but make no mistake about it her comment about the younger sibling and what they have that telling it's telling but it's also it's all coming from this one issue it is and and I think that when you're in baby step we could use it more than them that's what this is yes that's what I'm getting at when you're in in a a tough spot you're looking around and you're just kind of looking for anything you can hold to I get it yeah we're not I wasn't saying that in a way to be uh definitely not ugly towards you but it's worth examining and going okay what's my like to your point Ken what's my true feelings here and it's okay to have feelings we then just have to make sure our response is the right the right way and that's all I'm saying Michaela I want you to feel okay to be angry yeah uh because if this is true you and your husband have every right to be angry Ken I've told you the story before when Sam and I got married married his grandfather there were stipulations on the will and he's allowed to make those stipulations cuz it was his money right and so the stipulation was you got to marry someone else Jewish and guess what Jade warshaw is not really yeah did you not know I'm just what gave it away no I'm just kidding but um so that was part of it and did he uphold that did grandfather no he did not get the money and so I mean he he stuck to his guns the grandfather did well the grandfather passed away so what ended up happening later on that's right L yeah it's in the will but later on his his wife at the time said I really like Jade and I'm going to we're going to make this happen and she amended it they got amended and not only for me but the other cousins who decided not to go that route yeah hey cheers to her by the way I don't know if listen I don't know if it was right Dave might be like no keep it the way you know the wishes are the wishes but oh wait a second I don't know what Dave would say but I'm I'm not Dave and uh I got a strong opinion on that if the if the grandfather leaves the money to his wife yes he had explicit instructions but at the end of the day he left it to her she was very it's now hers she was very solid on the fact that if he had she said if he had met you he would have changed his mind that's what she said to me I think she's right but my point is it's now her money yeah she gets to decide what she's going to do he passed it to her that's facts yeah yeah so I I can understand to your point I can understand the feeling of having emotions around the thing tough stuff it's not easy yeah but in this case uh and this is what I don't like for her I don't like that sister-in-law drop that yeah on vacation do you think there was a little intent behind it is that what you're saying I don't know and I don't want to go that route because I don't think that's helpful to michaelb what I am saying is I would immediately go into the father if I'm her husband and because we don't know if sister-in-law knows what's going with the nine other siblings you know what it's other siblings unless she knows of a reason he could have been withheld which we didn't ask her it's very possible he just got overlooked like whoever the executive is just you don't buy it well you know now that you say that I I have three kids yeah and I remember telling Stacy like cuz we had three under the age of three kind of happened quickly for us it and I remember going as they got older going I'm boy I'm glad we didn't have more than three I don't understand how parents who have like six and seven and eight and nine how do they do it now I can see maybe maybe this happened maybe there some money just sitting over there waiting to be collected maybe he's the middle child I don't think so though chm isn't health insurance it's a health cost sharing Ministry check it out for yourself at chministries.org 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