Three Men In A Boat - Chapter 9 - Classic Fiction Audiobook Read by Dr James Gill

good evening and welcome to three men in a boat chapter nine George is introduced to work he's mish instincts of to toe lines and grateful conduct of a double scull Angus skiff towers and rowers a youth discovered four lovers strange disappearance of an elderly lady much haste less speed being towed by girls exciting sensation the missing lock or the haunted river music saved we made George work now that we got him he didn't want to work of course perhaps it goes without saying he'd had a hard time in the city so he explained Harris who was callous in his nature not prone to pity said ah and now you're having a hard time on the river for a change change is good for everybody how'd you get he could not in conscience not even George's conscience object though he did suggest the perhaps it would better for him to stop in the boat and get tea ready was Harris and I towed because getting T is such worrying work and Harris and I had looked tired the only reply we made to this however was to pass him over the towline and he took it and stepped out there's something very strange and accountable about a towline you roll it up with as much patience and care as you would take to fold a new pair of trousers and five minutes afterwards when you pick it up it is one ghastly soul revolting tangle I did not wish to be insulting but I firmly believe that if you took an average towline and stretched it out across the middle of a field and then turned your back on it for 30 seconds that when he looked around you would find as it got itself in a heap in the middle of the field and it twisted itself up and tied itself in knots and lost its two ends and all become loops and would take a good half hour sitting down on the grass and swearing all the while to disentangle it that is my opinion of two lines in general of course there may be honorable exceptions I do not say that there are not there may be two lines that are credits to their profession conscientious respectable tow liners towlines that did not imagine there crochet work and try to knit themselves up in anti-mass cars the instant they are left to themselves I say there may be such tow lines I sincerely hope there are but I have not met with them this tow line I had taken in myself just before we got to the lock I would not let Harris touch it because he is careless I had looped it round slowly and cautiously and tied it up in the middle and folded it in two and laid it down gently at the bottom of the boat Harris had lifted it up scientifically and put it into George's hand George had taken firmly and held it away from him and it had begun to unravel as if he were taking the swaddling clothes off a newborn infant and before he had unwound dozen yards the thing was more like a badly made door maps than anything else it is always the same and the same sort of thing always goes on in connection with it the man on the boat is trying to disentangle it and thinks all the fault lies with the man who rolled it up and when the man upriver thinks a thing he says it what have you been trying to do make a fishing net out of it why you've made a jolly nice mess you have why couldn't you wind it up properly you silly dummy he grunts from time to time as he struggles wildly with it and lays it out flat on the towpath and runs round and round to find the end on the other hand the man who wound it up thinks the whole course rough muddle rests with the man who's trying to unwind it it was alright when you took it he exclaimed indignantly why didn't you think what you're doing you'd grab our things such as that - style you get a scaffolding pole entangled you would and they feel so angry with one another that they would like to hang each other over the thing ten minutes go by and the first man gives a yell and goes mad and dances on the rope and tries to put it straight by seizing hold of the first piece that comes to his hand and hauling at it of course this only gets into a tighter tangle than ever then the second man climbs out of the boat and comes to help him they each get in each other's way and hinder one another they both get hold of the same bit of line and pull it in opposite directions and wonder where it is caught in the end they do not get it clear and turn round and find the boat has drifted off and he's making straight for the where this really happened once to my knowledge it was up above knee one rather windy morning we were pulling downstream and as we came around the bend we noticed a couple of men on the bank they were looking at each other with a bewildered and helplessly miserly expression as I have ever witnessed on a human countenance before or since and they held a long towline between them it was clear that something had happened so we eased up and asked them what was the matter why our boats gone off they replied in an indignant tone we just got her to help to disentangle the towline and when we looked around it was gone and they seemed to hurt what they evidently regarded as a mean and ungrateful act on part of the boat we felt the truant for them half a mile further down held by some rushes and we brought it back to them I bet they did not give that boat another chance for a week I shall never forget the picture of those two men walking up and down the bank with the towline looking for their boat one sees a great many funny incidents up the river in connection with towing one of the most common is the sight of a couple of toes walking briskly along deep in animated discussion while the man in the boat 100 yards behind them is frantically shrieking to form to stop and frantic signs of distressing are made with a skull something has gone wrong maybe the rudder has come off or the boat hook has slipped overboard or his hat has dropped into the river and floating downstream he calls them to stop quietly and politely at first I stopped manage William he shouts cheerily I've dropped my hat overboard then hi Tom dick Conte here not quite such an affable tone then I confound you you dunderheaded idiots hein stop oh you after that he springs up and dances about and Ross himself red in the face and curses everything he knows and the small boys and the bankers stop and jeer at him and pitch stones at him as he's pulled along and past them at a rate of four miles an hour and can't get out much of this sort of trouble will be saved if those who are towing would keep remembering that they are towing and give a pretty frequent look around as to how that man is getting on it's best to let one man tow when there are two doing it they get chattering and forget and the boat itself offering as it does but little resistance is no real service in reminding them of the fact as an example of how utterly oblivious a pair of terrors can be to their work George told us later in the evening when we're discussing the subject after supper of a very curious instance he and three other men so he said was sculling a very heavily laden boat up from Maidenhead one evening a little above kokum lock they noticed a fellow and a girl both walking along with Toba deep and apparently interesting and absorbing conversation they were carrying a boat hook between them and attached to the boat hook was a towline which trailed behind them its end in the water no boat was near no boat was in sight there must have been a boat attached to the towline at some time or other that was certain but what have become of it what ghastly fate had ever taken it and those who've been left in it was buried in mystery whatever the accident may have been however it had in no way disturbed the young lady and gentlemen who were towing they had the boat hook they had the line and what seemed to be all they thought necessary to their work George was about to call out and wake them up but at that moment a bright idea flashed across him and he didn't he got The Hitcher instead and reached over and drew in the end of their towline and made a loop in it and put it over their mast and then tidied up the skulls and went and sat down in the stern and lit his pipe along with his friends and that young man and woman towed those four hulking chaps and the heavy boat up to Marlowe George said he never saw such thoughtful sadness concentrated into one glance before as when of the lock the young couple grasped the idea that for the last two miles they had been towing the wrong boat George fancied that if it had not been for the restraining influence of the sweet woman at his side the young man might have given way to violent language the maiden was the first to recover from her surprise and when she did she clasped her hands wildly and said oh Henry where is aunty did they ever recover the old lady asked Harris George replied he did not know another example of the dangerous want of sympathy between the tower and the toad was witnessed by George myself once near Walton it was where the towpath shelves gently down to the water and we were camping on the opposite bank noticing things in general the by and by a small boat came in sight towed through the water at a tremendous pace by a powerful barge horse on which sounds a very small boy scattered about the boat in a dreamy and repose full attitudes lay five fellows the man who's steering having a particularly restful appearance I should like to see him pull the wrong line mr. George as they passed and at that precise moment the man did it and the boat rushed up the bank with a noise like the ripping of 40-thousand linen sheets two men a hamper and three oars immediately left the boat on the larboard side and reclined on the bank and one and a half moments after two other men disembarked from the starboard and sat down among the boat hooks and sails and carpet bags and bottles the last man went on twenty yards further and then got out on his head this seemed to sort of lighten the boat and it went on much easier the small boy shouting at the top of his voice and urging his steed into a gallop the fellows sat up and stared at one another it was some seconds before they realized what had happened to them but when they did they began to shout lustily for the boy to stop he however was much too occupied with the horse to head them and who watched them flying after him until the distance hid them from view I cannot say I was sorry at their mishap indeed I only wish that all the young fools who have their boats towed in this fashion and plenty do could meet with similar misfortunes besides the risk they run themselves they become a danger and annoyance to every other boats they pass going the pace they do it impossible for them to get out of anybody else's way or for anyone else to get out of theirs their line gets hitched across your mast Nova turns you already catch us somebody in the boat and either throws them into the water or cuts their face open the best plan is to stand your ground and be prepared to keep them off with the butt-end foremast of all the experiences in connection with towing the most exciting is being towed by girls it is a sensation that nobody want to miss it takes three girls to tow always two to hold the rope and want to run round and round and giggle they generally begin by getting themselves tied up they get the line around their legs and have to sit down on the path and undo each other and then they twist it around their necks and a nearly strangled they fix it straight however at last and start off at a run pulling the boat along and quite a dangerous pace at the end of a hundred yards they are naturally breathless and suddenly stopped and all sit down on the grass and laugh and your boat drifts out to the midstream and turns round before you know what has happened or can get hold of a skull then they stand up and are surprised oh look they say he's gone right after in the middle and they pull on steadily for a bit after this and then all at once it occurs to one of them that she will pin up her frock and they ease up for the purpose the boat runs aground you jump up and push it off and you shouted them not to stop why what is the matter they shout back don't stop you roar don't what don't stop go on go on go back Emily and see what says they want say Swan and Emily comes back and asks what it is what do you want she says anything happened no you reply it's all right only go on you know don't stop why not well we can't steer if you keep stopping you must keep stuck some way on the boat some way what some way you must keep the boat moving oh all right I'll tell them are we doing it all right oh yes very nicely only don't just stop it all seems so difficult I thought it was so hard no it's simple enough you just want to keep steady on that's all I see give up my red shore it's under the cushion you find the shore and hand it out and by the time another one has come back she thinks that she won't have her stew and they take up marries on chance but Mary does not want it and so they bring it back and have a pocket comb instead it's about twenty minutes before they get off again and at the next corner they see a cow and you have to leave the boat to Cheever the cow out of their way there's never a dull moment while the girls are towing George got the line right and after a while and towed us steadily onto Penton Hawk there we discussed the important question of camping we decided to sleep on board that night and either had to lay up there or go past stains it seemed early to think about shutting up then however with the Sun still high in the heavens we settled the bush straight for a Runnymede and three and a half miles further a quiet wooded part of the river where there's good shelter seemed fair we all wished however that we'd stopped at Penton Hawk three or four miles upstream is a trifle early in the morning but it is weary at the end of the long day you take no interest in the scenery during those last few miles you did not chat nor laugh every half mile you cover seems like - you can hardly believe you are only where you are and you are convinced that the map must be wrong and when you've judged too long for what seems at least ten mile and still the lock is not in sight he began to seriously fear that somebody must have sneaked it and run off with it I remember being terribly upset once a river in a figurative sense I mean I was with a young lady a cousin on my mother's side and we were pulling down to goring it was rather late and we were anxious to get in at least she was anxious to get in it was half-past six when we've reached Benson's lock and dusk was drawing on and she began to get excited then and said she must be in to supper I said it was a thing that I felt I wanted to be in it too and I drew a map I had with me to see exactly how far it was I saw it was just a mile and a half to the next lock walling foo and five on from there to cleave oh it's all right I said we'll be through the next lock before seven and then there's only one more and I settled down and pulled steadily away we passed the bridge and soon after that I asked her if she saw the lock she said no she did not see any lock I said oh and pulled on another five minutes went by and then I asked her to look again no she said I can't see signs of a lock you sure you know a lock when you see one I asked hesitating not wishing to offend her the question did not offend her however and she suggested that I had better look for myself so I laid down the skulls and talked of you the river stretched out straight before us in Twilight for about a mile not a ghost of a lock was to be seen you don't think you've lost our way do you asked my companion I didn't see how that was possible there as I suggested we might have somehow got into a weir stream and we're making for the Falls this idea did not comfort her in the least and she began to get upset she said we could both be drowned and it was judgements on her for coming out with me it seems a little excessive punishment I thought but my cousin thought not and hoped it would all be over soon I tried to reassure her and make light of the whole affair I said that the fact evidently was that I was not rowing as fast as I fancied I was but that we should soon reach the lock now and I pulled on for another mile then I began to get nervous myself I looked again at the map there was Wallingford Locke clearly marked a mile and a half below Bensons it was a good reliable map and besides I recollect the lock myself I had been through it twice where were we what had happened to us I began to think it must all be a dream and the time was really asleep in bed and should wake up in a minute and be told it was past 10:00 I asked my cousin if she thought it could be a dream and she replied that she thought at the same question and that we both wondered if we were both asleep and if so who was the real one that was dreaming and who was own of the dream it got quite interesting I still went on pulling however and still no Locke came in sight and the river grew more and more gloomy and mysterious and the gathering shadows of night and things seem to be getting weird and uncanny and I thought of hobgoblins and banshees and Will O the wisps and those wicked girls who sit up all night on rocks and lure people into world pools and things and I wished I'd been a better man and knew more hymns and in the middle of these reflections I heard the Blessed strains of he's got him on played badly and on a concertina I knew that we were saved I do not admire the tones of a concertina as a rule but oh how beautiful the music seemed to both of us then far far more so than the voice of Orpheus or the loot of Apollo or nothing that sort would have sounded heavenly melody in our state of mind would have only still further Harrod us a soul moving harmony correctly performed we would have taken as a spirit warning and given up all hope but the strains of he's got mom and jerked spasmodically and with involuntary variations out of a wheezy accordion there was something singularly human and reassuring about this the sweet sounds truest naira and soon the boat from which there worked came alongside us it contained a party of provincial Ares and Arrieta out from the light sail there wasn't any moon but that was not their fault I never saw a more attractive loveable people in all my life and held them and asked if they could tell me the way to Wallingford Locke and I explained I had been looking for it for the last two hours Wallingford Locke they answered law love you sir has been done away for every year ain't no Wallingford Locke now sir you're close to cleave now blow mate eyes if it aren't the gentleman looking for Wallingford Lockyer bill I never thought about that I wanted to fall upon their necks and bless them but the stream was running too strong just there to allow this so I had to content myself with the mayor cold sounding words of gratitude I thanked them over and over again and we said it was a lovely night and we wish them all a pleasant trip and I think I invited them all to come and spend a week with me and my cousin said her mother who would pleased to see them as well and we sang the soldiers chorus out of Faust and got home in time for supper after all end of chapter 9 I do hope you're enjoying this little tale of three men and a boat I know that I'm getting a lot for reading it and I'd like to thank each and every person who's taking the time to leave a comment or feedback below the videos we've done so far I am genuinely grateful for all of them if you'd like to get a heads-up as to when I'm doing the next chapter of three minute please feel free to subscribe down below and you'll get notifications when the next chapter is out on that I bid you goodnight