7 SELF CARE Mindset Habits that will improve your life

Hi everyone and welcome back. Today I want to talk with you about self-care mindset habits. So I love talking about self-care, because it is such a vital and important practice to keep feeling good and support your well-being. And the self-care tips that I share on this channel are often about things that we can practically do, like activities or habits. But for today's video, I thought it'd be fun to talk about self-care mindset habits. Our mindset influences our reality. It determines how we think about things, and how we make sense of the world and ourselves. And so when it comes to self-care, I think our mindset can make all the difference. I've been thinking about this a lot recently. And for the video, there are certain mindset habits that I've been practicing with myself, to improve self-image, heal from past experiences, and to set myself up for feeling good and safe and happy. For this video, I partnered up with my friends over at wild. And I will chat more about them later. For now, feel free to join me, get cozy, grab yourself something nice to drink, and let's dive right in. I hope my voice holds out. I've been recovering from the flu for the last like week and a half or so. And I'm feeling a lot better, just my voice has some issues still. So we'll see how that goes. When it comes to self-care, one of the things that we can look at is our activities or hobbies, or things that we do to take care of ourselves. Like maybe it's yoga, or going for a walk, or whatever else you enjoy. And because we also live in a society that is so focused on productivity and output and result, and getting something out of everything that we do, like making the most of every minute, it can start to feel like even our downtime needs to be productive in some way. So maybe we feel like we should be reading non-fiction books instead of fiction books. Or keep track of how many books we read, because we want to read one every week. Or you know, let's say you enjoy photography and that's just like a relaxing hobby for you. It can start to feel like you need to get really good at it, so you can turn that into a side hustle. Or even just the idea that self-care and rest are good things to do, only because they help us be more productive in the long run. Like the only reason we're allowed to take it easy and take care of our needs, is so that then we can become more productive and accomplished. And of course there's nothing wrong with healthy habits, or taking care of yourself in that way. But when it comes to self-care, I think it is so important to really zoom in on what we find helpful. Like what helps us feel good or feel better? What do we love to do? What kind of activity helps us to find relaxation in the moment when life feels chaotic? And even if that is something completely like useless, it is never useless. Because it helps us, and that's good enough. One of my favorite quotes recently is, time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time. And I think this is so important, especially in our society. So if this is a moment in time for you that you really enjoy, that you really find super super helpful, then that's good. If number one was about how self-care doesn't have to be productive, number two... I just heard it. Number two is about why self-care doesn't have to be for anyone else. So this next self-care mindset habit is something that I called even if no one sees me. It is the thought that I am good enough of a reason to take really good care of myself, even if no one can see it, or praise me for it, or have an opinion about it. Just I value myself enough to try my best to take good care of myself. Example. I work from home, and I'm here by myself. So I wear a lot of homeware, because I'm just really not the kind of person who dresses up even when no one is around. Of course if you do that, that is great, I'm sure it's very empowering. It's just not really something I enjoy. I like to be comfortable first and foremost. But even if no one is here, I still really want to make sure that my homeware that I'm wearing fits well, is clean, like no toothpaste stains or anything like that. I still eat well, I do my exercises, I make sure that I smell nice, and my homeware smells nice, all of these things are just things that I do for myself, even if no one is around to see me. Same with workout clothing. So even though I work out from home and no one can really see me, I still upgraded my workout clothes recently. From these really old clothing items to new ones that just fit so much better, and look so much better, and feel so much better. And it makes a huge difference, even if I'm alone. I find it sometimes difficult to spend effort on myself. I can also be a little frugal, so I find it difficult to spend money on myself. And like, I would make the fancy tea if someone comes over, but make like the easier tea for myself, things like that. And I've learned that it is so important to make an effort for yourself. Because taking care of yourself, even when no one sees you, is kind of sending a message to your brain that you are worth it. And you're not just like neglecting your own needs, and then putting on a brave face, and trying to look put together when you're in front of others. And it is a small difference, but it makes a really big difference. And speaking of smelling really nice and taking good care of yourself, here is where I want to quickly tell you about Wild, who have kindly agreed to partner up with me for today's video. And I'm very happy to tell you about them, because I've been using their natural deodorants for about a year now. And they are my all-time favorites. They're made with natural ingredients, they're vegan, cruelty free, zero waste, all of that good stuff. And they really work. I put this on in the morning, and I feel fresh all day. Even when I'm running errands, even in the summertime. And they also just feel really like soft and moisturizing on my sensitive skin. And they have the best scents in the world. Like this smells so nice. I have a few of my favorites here. This one is fresh cotton and sea salt. Then cherry blossom is really nice. And this is maybe my all-time favorite, spiced orange and pear. How it works is you get one reusable case that you can just keep using year after year. And then you just get these little bamboo compostable refills. You can click them into your case and you're good to go. So no plastic, no waste, just a very smart system. I'm using their limited edition bee case. And this is so cute. It is a collaboration with Emma Bridgewater, which is a British pottery brand. And I just love these little bees, they make me so happy. And I have the honey and cactus flower refill in it currently. This smells so nice, it's so elegant. Wild is offering a 20% discount on all of their products if you use my code WILDVERA20. So you can also click the link in the description box, or scan the QR code on screen. The discount code doesn't last very long, so I recommend checking them out and maybe getting the bee case too, if you like it. Really big thank you to Wild for supporting the channel. And let's get back to the self-care mindset habits. Okay, so this next one is about anxiety and worrying. And it is this mindset that I've been practicing with myself recently, and that I find surprisingly helpful. So mostly I love getting older, but one thing that I have noticed is that my anxieties don't really get a lot less. And I've always been a huge worrier, and I basically still am. I just try to deal with it in a different way. So one thing that I'm trying to print into my brain is the idea that worrying doesn't actually do anything. So I feel like part of the reason why we worry, is that we feel that by worrying, we are somehow more in control of what happens. Like we can exert some kind of control, because we're constantly thinking about it. But really, we can't. Worrying doesn't actually do anything, except take away a lot of our energy. It's like this quote that says worrying is kind of like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. So I kind of just decided to stop worrying, and stop being anxious about things, by just assuming that everything is fine, until there's an actual real sign that there's something really actually wrong. And by allowing myself to just worry about it then. One example is worrying about health, my health, the health of my loved ones. I can be a bit of a hypochondriac, and also because I'm so sensitive, I feel every little thing and every little change in my body. And it immediately makes me worry that maybe I have something serious. Another example is that we bought this apartment a year ago, and it is the first time that I've ever owned anything. And that I am responsible for the maintenance and the upkeep. I'm also just not used to it. Like my parents, my boyfriend's parents, have always rented. So I had so much anxiety about this place, things breaking down, or issues that I wouldn't know how to fix. We did have some small things like a leak in the bathroom, and a ceiling molding that came crashing down. And it got to a point where I was even afraid to turn on the dishwasher and the washing machine at the same time. Because I was afraid that like too much water would go through the pipes, and there would be a leak. Or I would just continue to check every 15 minutes, to see if everything was still okay. You know, when I was turning on the dishwasher. Eventually I was so exhausted from all of that worrying, about all the little things, that I just said no. No more. I'm not going to worry anymore. I'm just going to assume that everything is fine, and everything will turn out great. And if there is an actual clear sign that something is wrong, I will worry about it then. But if I don't see any signs, I'm just going to assume that everything is fine, and I'm not going to worry anymore. The thing about fears and anxiety, for me anyway, is the more I give into them, the worse they get. So the more I worry about things, and google things, and feed into them, the worse they get. And somehow this helps so much. Just having that super positive mindset, assuming that everything is fine, and everything will turn out great. It has been very helpful. Of course I'm not a doctor or anything like that, so if you do experience anxiety and want to talk about it with a professional, don't take my word for it. But this has been helpful for me. And I'm also very curious to know your thoughts about this. If you recognize this or relate to it, I would love to read that in the comments. If you're comfortable sharing of course. And if I do find myself still feeling worried, what I will do is do some mindfulness exercises, some breathing exercises, to you know, be in the present moment, ground down. And that really helps This next one is a really big one. And that is internalizing the idea that self-care is not selfish, and that my needs are not a burden. So many of us feel that little pang of guilt every time we listen to our needs, and try to prioritize them every once in a while. Because we feel like we should be prioritizing other people's needs, or maybe the things that we have on our to-do list instead. On some level, we all kind of know that rest and relaxation are important. And maybe we even know that by taking care of our own needs, we are then more able to take care of others. But self-care can be a lot of things, and it can go really deep. So it could be something like exercising, but it could also be learning to stand up for yourself, and set boundaries. It could be eat more vegetables, but it could also be joining an art class. Because you've secretly always wanted to, and you've been too scared or self-conscious to do it. It could be choosing not to engage in annoying political discussions with your co-worker. It could be choosing one thing from your to-do list, and putting that on hold for tomorrow, so you have 30 minutes to read your book instead. It's funny how when we're taking care of other people's needs, it never really feels like too much or like a burden. But our own needs kind of feel like that sometimes, like oh yeah I should kind of do that too, you know. But you're not a burden for having needs, or for being human and not being perfect, or for consuming resources, or for asking for help when you need it. So sometimes what I like to do is stand in the room and take up space. So I will stand with my body like an x shape, or I will put my hands on my hips kind of like a superhero pose. And what this does is it sends kind of like a message to my brain, saying that it is okay for me to be here. It's okay for me to take up space, and it is okay for me to make sure that I have what I need to feel good. You deserve it, I deserve it, we all deserve that. The next self-care mindset habit is that I am allowed to make mistakes. So this has to do with compassion, understanding and forgiveness. Making for learning and growing as a person. And if we try to always avoid making mistakes, we could be too scared to try new things, or to step out of our comfort zone. So I now see making a mistake not as like a character flaw, I never beat myself up for it. I just take something from the experience and I try to learn from it, and do something different in the future. And that is it. And I even kind of enjoy the process now in a weird way. It helps so much to know that I don't have to be a perfect person, I can be flawed and still be good enough. If you find it difficult to make mistakes, or you beat yourself up when you're not being perfect, try to remind yourself that mistakes are a good thing. Because they bring you new ideas and new perspectives, they help you develop new skills. They are a good sign. You don't have to be perfect at your job, you don't have to be perfect for your family, you don't have to have your house perfectly in order. Just accepting the reality of imperfection has freed up so much of my time, and especially energy. It is so freeing to just be able to say like, oh yeah, I screwed up there, oops. And just have that be it. Number six. Learning to love my body just the way it is, instead of constantly working on it. This next one is about body image and how we feel about our own body. So if that's triggering for you, or you just don't want to hear this part, then I will use a timestamp right here for the next one that you can skip to. This video will also have chapters, so you can also just use the video chapters. I've been on youtube for so long, I'm still used to using like timestamps. And I forget that we've had chapters for like four years already. So learning to love my body just the way that it is hasn't been very easy, but it has definitely been worth it. And the difference is that we can still try to eat well and exercise, maybe even keep track of our weight if that's something that's important to you, while coming from a place of self-love and acceptance and positivity. Instead of coming from a place of working on our body, or making it different so that then we will feel better about our body. And I think like with the way that the world is, it is so normal to be insecure about our body sometimes. Because we see all these perfect people looking absolutely perfect, and it is hard to not compare yourself sometimes, and to feel less. Like we all have feelings about our own body. I feel like I have like a normal body, you know. I have some stretch marks, I have cellulite, I have some extra cushioning here and there, you know. If I wave, my arm kind of moves and stuff. I feel like that's normal. And I'm learning to just love my body just the way that it is. I have a lot to say about this, and this could easily be its own video. But what mostly helped me I think is two things. First is to look at yourself from the perspective of an outsider, so without judgment. And when I look at my body, I see you know someone who enjoys working out and doing the workouts that she finds fun, instead of you know forcing herself to go through these really extreme trainings that completely drain her energy. She doesn't have a six-pack or a thigh gap, but she can do a side arm plank now for the first time. I also see someone who really enjoys yummy food, and eats things that are nourishing and tasty, and that energize her. And who eats enough to not be hungry all day. Someone who prioritizes feeling good and happy and at peace with herself over the need to appear perfect. And a second thing that helps me is just focusing on everything that my body does for me, instead of on whether or not it looks right according to the current beauty standards. My body allows me to live my life and do what I want to do and go where I want to go. And when I really think about that, it just fills me with so much gratitude and so much motivation to take care of my body and nourish it and treat it well, instead of wanting to like work on it and make it better. And the last self-care mindset habit I want to talk about today, is one that I've also been practicing with myself. And that is the decision that I'm not going to let fear hold me back. I mentioned earlier in the video, I'm a big scaredy cat. I have some very deep like anxieties and fears and worries. And I am very good at struisvogelen, which is what we say in Dutch when someone just buries their head in the sand and ignores all the scary things instead of dealing with them head on. But I've learned that self-care isn't always doing the easy things, sometimes it's doing the hard things. Because they are more meaningful, or they will push us forwards, or they will help us to move past certain things that are in the way of us feeling happy and relaxed. A good example of this for me is going to the dentist and getting a checkup and a cleaning every six months. I've talked about this before on the channel, so I'm not going to go into it here. But I'm terrified of going to the dentist, and for quite a few years I didn't go. And now that I have been going, not only has my dental health increased or improved, my fears have decreased. Maybe for you it is something different, maybe your finances are confusing and you're scared to face reality and really delve into it to see exactly like what's coming in and going out every month. Or it's a fear that is holding you back in your career. Maybe you'd love to try starting a youtube channel, but you're too scared to put yourself out there. Maybe you want to declutter your garage or that one storage closet in your home, but you're afraid to, you know, face what's there and see what's really in there. I find that confronting my fears head on has increased my self-confidence and this idea that I am capable to do what I want. So instead of letting my fears be debilitating and overwhelming, I try to take small steps to confront them. And yes, that is so scary. And it's totally okay to admit that to yourself, or to ask for help, or to let the dentist know like I'm scared out of my mind here. So you can do something like that. Or you can plan like some resting time for yourself afterwards, so you know that you can relax a little bit. Or something that a good friend of mine does, who I always admire, is schedule something fun for herself afterwards. So she can have that to look forward to, kind of like a reward. We can be so kind and gentle and loving to ourselves, while also giving ourselves, you know, a little kick in the butt to do the hard things or scary things. And I've learned that this does get easier and easier with practice. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I would love to read them. Because you know, like mindset habits are a little bit more difficult to talk about or to explain in words. But they're so important because our thoughts influence everything we do. And they can either hold us back or push us forward. Our mindset affects the way that we think about things and experience life. And if we can be just a little bit more aware of the quality of our thoughts, we can try to make our own head just a little bit like a happier and healthier place to live. Big thank you to Wild for being a friend of the channel. I definitely recommend checking them out. They also have things like shower gels and shampoo bars and soap bars and things like that. So all the links and discount code in the description box below. And as always, thank you so much for being here. Questions, comments, conversations down below. Have a wonderful wonderful day, and I will see you all again next week. Bye bye. Speaking of confronting your fears, there's this spider in one of the elevators in our building. And I've just been taking the other elevator, but now the spider is gone. And that worries me even more, because now I don't know where it is.