Is There Higher Dating Standards For Asian Men?

do women actually put higher standards on Asian men when it comes to dating ah let's talk about it guys uh this is going to be a potentially spicy and long one so uh stick with me here this conversation was sparked but not started sparked by a Reddit post recently that said different dating requirements for Asian versus white men I've noticed that my Asian women female friends hold Asian men to a much higher standard expecting so much more from them vers versus the same level white guy they expect Asian men to pay fully for dates while they're okay splitting with their white male dates interesting all right so guys I want to say this is not targeted towards Asian women this is going to be about women in general but obviously this conversation is a tough one but it's popped up on the Internet many many times before and over the years I've seen it come up and even within Asian male circles in person I've kind of heard it be mentioned so I think it's like it's a real enough thing we got to talk about it because there's also some statistics that actually back this up although I think the stats are kind of old so anyways I'm going to be answering four main questions in this video do Asian men really have to make $250,000 more to be seen as equally as attractive as a equal white guy based on a popular study that everyone brings up of course which I'm going to talk about is there a large percentage of Asian women who put higher standards on Asian men than they do white guys for example number three do non-asian women have a higher standard put on Asian men when it comes to dating and number four what should you do if you're an Asian guy and you feel this way so everybody please hit that like button check out other episodes of the hot pop boys as I'm going to be tackling this by myself David is over in Thailand right now so check out his videos they're very interesting and fun so uh so the Reddit post sparked this I'm going to get to the Reddit post and I'm going to address that completely at the end though like directly at the end but let's first talk about this number this study that everybody brings up and it's best described by this viral video from this Penn State Professor sociology Professor that made a very awkward but very memorable class lecture run the clip all right listen bro so remember this guy the handsome dude in spite of how handsome he is for him to compete with an average white guy of equal handsomeness maybe like I don't know dude this dude right here he's pretty he's kind of handsome right look at this dude so for him for Andy what's your name bro Chris Chris for Andy to compete with Chris on The Dating Market on The Dating Market okay Andy has to make on all the dating apps in the dating Market okay Andy has to make $247,000 more per year than this dude right here here right $247,000 more per year to be equal to him on the dating market so that somebody like you or I don't know you right for you to find him Andy equally as attractive as Chris or for you to find Andy or you right all right so that was pretty funny and the way he got to those numbers is actually from a 2000 6 University of Chicago online dating study all right guys so this is like a 60-page PDF I actually try to skim through it myself um and it was done in 2006 so that's about 19 years ago so you know take the stats for what they are these are 19-year-old stats and they were based off of dating site and like email response so like they were like showing different faces of guys I guess and then putting different attributes on them and then asking people like how much they would respond to them this is probably like dude this is even before this is before Tinder or anything this is before any single dating app on your phone this was stuff still in the browser where people used to date through email okay so anyways the the table that everybody talks about is this called ethnicity income tradeoffs where it shows table 5.6 right here that uh for white women to view an Asian man just as equal as a white guy of equal attractiveness the Asian man would have to to make $247,000 more than his white counterpart who made $65,000 in this study so that means the Asian guy has at this time in 2006 the study is saying that an Asian guy had to make over $300,000 to be as attractive as a white guy now I have a lot of questions but anyways I'm going to get to the questions in a sec this table 5.5 is height and income tradeoffs talking about the essentially Short tax that you have to have so it mentioned uh a 5 foot2 man needs to make $331,000 a year in total to be seen as attractive as a 51 or 6 foot man who makes $63,000 a year um so basically according to these tables you can kind of assume and kind of like triangulating the data here that it basically says that Asian men at this time in 2006 were seen like the average Asian man was seen as unattractive as a 5 foot One Man compared to a six foot guy white male so we were all seen as 5 feet tall in 2006 um and and the way they found this number was using this thing called this Gail shapley algorithm which was invented in 1962 so I think it's a little old school I think it's a little old school guys I don't like bringing up these numbers okay I know that these numbers sound egregious they sound ridiculous like first of all in 2006 what type of guy is even making $300,000 a year in 2006 you know in today's money that's like 500k so you know how many men actually make that much money a very small percentage of men and even more men nowadays make that versus back then so I don't know who these Asian guys were you know that were on these sites and I don't know how big this uh pool of data was coming from and how many Asian guys they actually you know talk to or use so you know I I say take it with the grain of salt but I think the point that the study was trying to make is also the same thing that this uh Yale Professor Grace cow was trying to make with her study which is basically like Asian men have to be better Asian men have to make more and be higher educated to be seen as the same attractiveness so therefore there must be some inherent factors holding us back whether it's our look or our sociability or you know we're just minorities in this country trying to assimilate and it's just harder for us you know um so I guess that's a huge gap but I'll tell you this I don't fully agree with those numbers so anyways I want to get back to this Reddit post and then I will answer the four questions to address this Reddit post from this op who said I have Asian female friends who tell me that their expectations and standards for Asian men are much higher than white Men first of all I don't know who these friends are you probably got to find new friends and probably stay away from these people or or you take the courage and the confidence to ask them about why they feel that way call them out you don't have to it doesn't have to be an angry conversation I'm not saying get heated but you got to ask them if they're your friends and they respect you if you actually have respect in this friend group then you should be able to talk to them and be like hey um Esther Christine you know very Asian Connie very Asian names hey why do you feel that way like it sounds like you expect more from Asian guys than you do white guys why is that and then as they think you know maybe they come to realize how stupid that it sounds what they just said or they actually realize like hey I actually have internalized like reasons why I I just I like Euro uh Centric uh you know features and blah blah blah blah blah so anyways um you know I mean I think there's so many reasons why in their minds for the Asian women who do say this first of all I don't think all Asian women believe this way in fact in fact statistics showing most Asian women in America still marry Asian guys and I still believe the largest portion still over 50% prefers Asian men but obviously we all know living Our Lives as reasonable educated Asian men in big cities that there is there is some Asian women who definitely think like this um and why I mean I think there's probably a lot of reasons why but let's just look in the comments section real quick a lot of people point to Social Status they say white men in white circles gain immediate acceptance due to familiarity bias there's a pretty privilege that white men in Asian circles gain because they have the uh Euro features and are considered more handsome especially in the west you know someone said someone did the math there's this comment that said if an Asian woman makes let's say $200,000 a year has a good job and has no places no value on Asian cultural relatability or attractiveness so meaning that like she doesn't necessarily value Asian features more or needs to be around Asian people and if she makes this much money then she will find more benefit dating a white guy who makes less than her because her dating the white guy or marrying her or reproducing with the white guy and having these mixed babies is going to prove more socially beneficial to her life than just dating another Asian person who makes the same amount right and this person is basically saying the cultural or social benefit of an Asian woman or an Asian guy dating a white mate right like for Asian guys I think sometimes it can kind of work the same way like some Asian guys think the same way that some Asian women do but I just think more Asian women end up thinking like that than Asian guys but there's definitely Asian guys who feel that way about white women like oh I want to dat a white woman because like you know I I because I relate more to that culture I want to be more in that culture um that's like saying if a white woman you know this is my analogy it's kind of a goofy analogy but if a white woman happen to really enjoy working in like nice Chinese restaurants like and she loved Chinese food then it would probably benefit her to date or marry a Chinese guy who uh owns Chinese restaurant that's like a hilarious analogies crap maybe crack up man a better analogy is probably like just a white or non-asian girl who really values K-pop and Korean culture and like really looks up to it then it might benefit her to date a Korean guy that's simple all right so um it can work in our favor in 2025 nowadays but it's just uh a little bit more rare um yeah so anyways guys uh to the op find some new friends listen if you're a young guy and you're 25 years old and you're posting about this first of all you got to have the co courage and confidence to go call out your friends or the courage and confidence to find new friends but also just know that if you're complaining at the age of 25 you got to think about the 35y olds and the 45 year olds those guys definitely had it even worse than you because there is no better time in America to be an Asian guy I will say it I'll say it in videos from I said it back then months several months I said it a year ago I'll say it in the future that now is the still the best time to be an Asian man in America does that mean all the problems have gone away all the discomfort has gone away has melted away no but it's still the best time it is still going up I don't know if it's the peak I hope it's not the peak but I think it's still it is still clearly going up from where it was at so just so you know anybody watching you have it good right now anyways in conclusion um do Asian men need to make a quar million dollars more just to be seen equals as white guy I whenever I heard these numbers and listen 2006 was a long time ago I don't believe it I don't believe these are the exact numbers I don't believe there is an exact number I believe though that the truth was especially at that time yes you had to make a significant amount more or I don't know how these Asian guys look like I don't know the pictures of Asian guys that they took like if you look back at the professor's class at Penn State and he chose this uh I'm assuming Chinese guy based on the haircut and then this white guy um first of all this Asian guy he's not badl looking but I don't think he's perceived the same level attractiveness as this white guy pause just saying this white guy looks like a quarterback or like lacrosse player you know this Chinese guy I don't think they're viewed the same in America like I can see that you know so I don't think he pulled necessarily like equal guys but you know obviously he's just a professor making a point so it doesn't really matter anyways listen um I think at the end of the day I know a lot of Asian dudes who do make good money and I think it's about how you deploy it it's about how you spend your money can you spend your money in a way that it makes your life more fun and if your life is more fun and holistic then women will be attracted to it it's true you know or you take your money and then move elsewhere you can move environments that's the easiest way to change you know the people around you and your everyday life is to change environments that means go to a different country go to a different city if you're in a small City you go to a big city if you're from a big city you can go to Asia go leave the country you know what I mean and the truth is a lot of Asian men especially the well-rounded decent looking well put together Asian guys all I don't think you have to look like a K-pop model I don't think you have to look like U I don't know who's a good look Brian poos or something like you don't but I'm saying you got to be well put together and kind of have your is together you know what I mean um those type of guys are getting a lot of chances so the other question is do I think there's a large percentage of Asian women who actually do this and put higher standards on Asian men I think there's more Asian women who think like this than vocalize it if an Asian woman is vocalizing this and saying it outright you got someone got to call around and have that conversation you know what I mean but maybe internally some Asian women feel this way and I can see it you know um but I don't think a large amount of Asian women I don't think all I don't even think most Asian women think this way but we do have to acknowledge that probably a higher percentage I'm just guessing of Asian women think this way towards Asian men than other groups of women think that way towards their men you know what I mean like Do Latino women say the same things we've all heard the argument that probably not and if they do not as often right so definitely check out some of the bigger cities if you're still in America um do non-asian women put higher standards on Asian men in the dating pool it's kind of interesting so I would say from my personal experience in New York City dating some non-asian women like uh sometimes there is an assumption that you're going to take care of them not necess say that you're rich but you got a decent job and that you know you'll take him out not to uh doesn't have to be a Michelin star on mass dinner but you know that that there's a stereotype going around especially in the big city where there's a lot of Asian guys and a lot of Asian guys make a decent amount of money that Asian guys are good dates like they'll take you out to good stuff they're going to treat you nice we're not going to expect too much we're not going to be too mean and aggressive or whatever like that's the stereotype right we're just like a you know the stereotype of what dating a model minority guy would be you know higher education higher income status you know according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics obviously we have the highest income as Asian guys on average um so of course there's this idea that like yo Asian guys are nice Asian guys will take care of you you know not that we're all going to be seen as sugar daddies cuz you know a lot of us don't got that amount of sugar to be honest but yes I i' I I do think that that's part of it and um but that is also because statistically there's a reason to think that right and Asian guys right like you know especially if uh Asian guys don't date as much as other people then when they do date they're going to want to like you know spend it and go somewhere nice anyways um the whole like study hard and you'll find a nice wife life you know like that maybe some of your immigrant Asian parents uh kind of like sold you it's just not true in the western world like it's not really true like you can't just study if you just study you're not going to be socially a viable option you know what I mean you might have the degree you might have the job but what's a degree and a job like we said listen women are making more so they definitely don't depend on men in the same exact ways that they used to or at least a lot of women don't so what are they looking for for men they're looking for safety you know social validation they want to be in love they want to feel like it's romantic they want to have it fun they want to release dopamine they want it to be interesting they want you to be exciting these are all things that probably Asian guys not by genetics lack but by training and coaching lack and I'm going to get into this I have a point here listen you know if you're an Asian guy and you feel this way this is my last point that I'm going to address is that I'm not saying all Asian guys a lot of Asian guys are cool out there socially adaptable you know accepted by other people tall good-looking I definitely know Asian guys like that but you know what I mean when I say that a lot of Asian guys are probably behind in the coaching behind in the training and this is coaching and training not that you get from an actual professional coach or trainer you get this from life you get this from your family so if you look this Yale Professor Grace Cal I'm going to bring up one of these charts look at these charts of men with no current romantic relationships in adolescence and young adulthood by race and ethnicity Asian guys are the highest Asian men had the least amount of romantic relationships in young adulthood and then you go to the women graph and yes so for adolescence Asian women had very few romantic relationships as well so that dark purple bar is almost the same height as the Asian male bar but when you look at the light purple bar that says young adult it means Asian women they said that they had more romantic relationships at a young adult level than Asian men so Asian men are just not having enough relationships and not getting that social training in or that relationship training in early on enough and that's part of the issue here you know the other part of the issue is that we're just minority men Living in America and we look different and you know uh if we're not 6 feet tall then essentially apparently you get viewed like you're a five-footer but that's according to 2006 a study that you know I don't fully buy into but anyways um you know uh it's going to I I think for guys who feel this way and I have felt this way in the past uh now talking about this type of thing does not trigger anything within me it is completely like unemotional and it's very just matter of fact because I'm like yeah these things happen like dude this is a thing so we got to just talk it out and more talk about Solutions right that's that's what you guys are looking for like I'm not here to debate whether some Asian women put a higher standard on Asian men yeah they do do some non-asian women put a higher standard on Asian men dating yeah some do so just accept it the earlier you accept it the earlier you can go look for other options or a solution you know all you just you know but again my point and I'm always say this is that because I know what growing up in a traditional Asian family is like and even my parents I'm going to be honest they're not the most traditional I even know people who grew up way more traditionally than me and way more like without that American training their parents weren't as open for them to play on sports teams or be social or or even have girl uh friends that were girls at that time or even have like anything you know even let them hang out with friends and develop as people and as human as as men you know what I mean so I know that sometimes like Asian dudes yeah they're they're a little bit behind but as long as you know you're behind you can you can still make up for it you can get the rapid itions in and that's what uh that's what I think is is is helpful so you know when it comes to Asian like I would say the higher standards are also be just because like Asian men apparently have higher standards for their own life too cuz if we're all going to strive to be more educated if we buy into this system where we got to be more educated and make a good amount of money then we're clearly buying into that same value system that some women are putting on us so we can't be mad it is what it is anyways figure out a solution uh accept your situation and start working on it anyways uh let me know what you guys think about my thoughts down below hopefully this video was helpful you know I just want to be able to bring up these kind of hard topics these taboo topics these kind of awkward topics or you know hopefully it's not offensive like I said most Asian women I don't think think this way but there is definitely a portion that do and it's a noticeable portion so anyways guys let me know what you think in the comments down below uh check out smalla sauce atmas sauce.com it is a delicious drizzle Chinese chili oil rated 4.6 out of five on Amazon right now and growing so everybody thank you so much for watching and until next time I'm out peace