Self silencing is making women sick

The results from Stanford Medicine are in. Women of color are more prone to developing autoimmune disorders from internalizing their emotions. EGAD. Cheryl, I cannot say that I am surprised. Well, you just said EGAD, which is an expression of surprise. Got me there, Cheryl, I did. But I guess the results are on par with what we know. 40 years ago, Harvard psychologist Dana Jack found a common pattern in women called self-silencing. Exactly, which is engaging in compulsive caretaking, which causes serious health issues. Women are at a higher risk of suffering from chronic pain, insomnia, fibromyalgia, long COVID, irritable bowel syndrome, and migraines. They're twice as likely as men to die after a heart attack. And women experience depression, anxiety, and PTSD at twice the rate of men and face a nine-fold prevalence of anorexia, the deadliest mental health disorder. The study revealed that a molecule produced by the X chromosome in every female cell can generate antibodies against a woman's own tissues. This groundbreaking discovery explains why women make up 80% of autoimmune diseases today. 80%? 80%! Oh my god, yes. But is it purely genetic and hormonal factors alone that account for this? It can't be. Psychosocial factors play an important role as well. The very virtues that our society rewards in women— Extreme selflessness, suppression of anger. They predispose us to chronic illness and disease. Black women in particular must feel immense pressure to self-silence to avoid being labeled as the angry black women trope. Yeah. In 2022, a team of researchers at the University of Pittsburgh discovered that women of color who strongly agreed with statements like, I rarely express my anger to those close to me, were 70% more likely to experience increased cardiovascular plaque associated with the higher risk of heart attack. No. And other studies connected self-silencing to irritable bowel syndrome, HIV, chronic fatigue syndrome, and cancer among women. Cancer, Carl! It's also linked to a higher risk of premature death. The Framingham Offspring Study followed 4,000 people over a decade. The women who didn't express themselves when they had fights with their spouses were four times more likely to die than those who did. This was true even when factors like age, blood pressure, smoking, and levels of cholesterol were taken into account. Physician Gabe May wrote an entire book called The Myth of Normal that said the qualities we regard as admirable strengths in women are actually incredibly toxic. The self-sacrificing mom, the chill girl, the people pleaser. Society's normal definitely imposes a major health cost to women. Oh my god, Cheryl. Cheryl, what can we do? What can we? The women are dying. Cheryl, the women are sick and they're dying. Cheryl, what can we do? Psychologist Maytall-Yall says we need to reshape the virtues of womanhood. That we've been unconsciously taught that our likability is our greatest asset. And instead of muting our feelings, we need to ask ourselves, what do I need? Instead of ignoring our feelings, we need to communicate them, right? We need to set healthy boundaries, prioritize our emotional requirements, honor our emotions, and most importantly, speak up. Women's lives depend on it, Cheryl. They sure do, Carl. They sure do. And I'm here for you, Cheryl. If there's anything you need to tell good old Carl, you tell him, okay? Bingo bango, Carl. I can hold you up. I can hold your hand. Okay, Carl, let's go back to work. Therapy has helped my life in immeasurable ways. It's taught me tools like emotional regulation, how to stop listening to intrusive thoughts. It's aided me through the death of my sister, the ending of romantic relationships, and the loss of friends. Now, I think finding the right therapist is very much like dating. Like someone who could be so wrong and so misattuned for my issues may be perfect for you or someone else. One of the most important parts of therapy is finding someone who you resonate with, whose advice you value, and who can offer you tools that are nuanced and suited to your life. So BetterHelp is the sponsor of today's video, and they want to help make starting therapy easier. Look, I have many people in my personal life who utilized BetterHelp and who had a positive experience with their therapist. And sometimes it can take you a second to find that therapist. Sometimes you're going to find a therapist who you just like do not mess with, who is not the vibe. But luckily, BetterHelp lets you switch therapists easily until you find that person you connect with. To start, you just fill out a questionnaire, and then you'll match with a qualified and licensed therapist in as little as a few days. If you're struggling, you can click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com and get 10% off your first month of therapy.