I Can’t Break the Habit Of Living Like I’m Broke

[Music] brought to you by the ramsy network app download today to go further with ramsy the problem is we are doing very well me and my husband we've been married 31 years and everything together we're worth about 4 million woo wow about half of that is his inheritance about H and about half of that inheritance is a million dollar for company that he inherited That Was Then bought out so my question is I don't have that much that's in my name I have an account I have about $100,000 in my name alone and then I have about another 100,000 in retirement and that's it and the rest of it I think of as his and I know that's not right I know that's not how I need you think about it he doesn't think about it that way he's told me as far as I'm concerned it's half years are you the beneficiary are you do you guys have all that worked out to where you're you you each are the beneficiary of each others like to it's actually your money or is it all in his name and nobody even knows that you're there um I want to say the business money maybe in his name only well is it in do you guys have a does he have a will he won't he won't do one I made him do one during covid but it um we sat with a lawyer talked about it drew it out and I've not seen it since then so I haven't signed one does that seem strange to you it does I think he doesn't want to admit he's going to die and his father was a same way well I have heard that if you don't do a will then you never die so he has there's some Merit to that so you're telling me there's a chance mhm okay so there's one piece of homework we need to get him to finalize this will get it Sign Sealed Delivered and that'll get help you both sleep better at night number two we have some homework to do because you said I want to say that's not going to cut it we need to figure out where is this money what are the accounts is your name are these joint accounts are you a beneficiary on these accounts I think you have a right to know in a marriage right and so we need to get to the bottom of that part and then on the other side we need to figure out what is your next goal are you looking to spend more it sounds like you feel like you have nothing to your name and that you're broke when really you have a $4 million net worth right and I don't know why that is I don't know why I feel that way well what is your what's your household income um I bring in about 2,000 a month and he brings home 100,000 a year so he's bringing home something closer to s or eight mhm okay and do you guys have a joint checking account where all this money goes not all of it a section of it there's a checking account that I write from that my Social Security money goes into and that's all that goes into it and his name is on that account but he doesn't use it and then there's a joint account where he used to put all his bonus money in that I write going household expenses from but now with the company bi he's not going to getting those bonuses anymore so I don't you guys have have created a real complex financial situation with 19 accounts floating around out there I think it's time to streamline and simplify and go okay for you I think it's time for you to fly to their house and spend an afternoon with them they don't get to get up from the table until they've walked through all this stuff George you were talking about this earlier this morning that's what this calls for yes now that's not going to happen uh but Julie George is going to give you a checklist if as if he were flying to your house and locking the doors and taking care of business with you two you guys have got to figure this out let's put it all on the table and go what are all the accounts what's in every account what's in my name what's in your name how can we simplify all this I want to be on the same page we've been married 31 years we've done really well sort of accidentally and now I want to do better intentionally and that means having one account all the money flows in all the money flows out of this joint checking account that'll give us both transparency accountability and it's going to change our marriage for the better okay because I'm no longer going to be in the dark you know exactly what's going on with my money I know what's going on with your money do you think he would uh be upset with that conversation would he shut down I mean 31 years I think he would want I think he would really his his actual reaction would be w are you worried about it well it's not a worry it's just that the best marriages have full accountability full transparency and okay to good marriages can survive with 19 accounts floating around well George but play that out though go deeper than that I think this is what's going on so pretend as though you're talking to Julie's husband and he goes why does this even matter why is she so worried go deeper than good marriages and all this like there's some there's some real reasons as to why this thing is so jointed and why bring it together what would you say to him if he pushed you well I would say that we're not here to attack you and get you defensive because we don't trust what you're doing with the money it's just that you are clearly in the dark after 31 years of being married you have no clue what's going on out there and if something were to happen to him that would put you in a real bind while you're grieving you'd be trying to pick up the pieces from 19 different accounts trying to find policy numbers that true ises that sound right Julie yeah it would be difficult I know where all the paperwork is but yeah and this is something we're going through still with his dad's estate his dad's estate was still the same way it still messed up two years after his dead right you want to avoid that you guys are searching for coffee tins in the backyard with money it's a disaster I don't want to have it be a full-time job to pick up all the pieces right and if we can just get ahead of this now we're going to have the next 20 years is going to be a dream cuz we are fully on board on the same page we know where we're going we know what's going on yeah okay that's the angle and then I think there's another piece where you need to stop acting like you're broke cuz you're not you guys make six figures and you need to be on a budget that you both have say in right now you're living like you get an allowance right if you wanted to go spend some money is it a conversation do you just go spend it without telling him what happens yeah I do I spend but I it it's my money that I spend so as long as you spend only your money yeah well that feels Wild I feel like I have to ask him so he gets to spend five times what you spend because he makes five times more is that how it works yeah this has been working oh boy that's a problem how long you been married 31 years oh boy we didn't come into so much money until a couple of years ago my wife now stays at home with her child if I said well honey you don't bring in any income so I get to spend all the money I'll give you a little bit of allowance for some fun but I get to spend like 10 times more cuz I'm bring you know where you'd be my guest better that's where you'd be I'd be lucky to be inside of a house well we'd take you in for about a week I'd might be in a tent in the backyard at that point J I'd let you stay in the backyard so I want you to know you have a vote in this marriage and so far it sounds like you've had the idea of a vote but we need to make it very clear especially on election day that you have an American right to vote in what happens in your marriage did there I think this is a uh clean this mess up with camel this is a show where people bring you in and you just fix everything you just get it all like listen you say listen Julie you sit there Clarence you sit there I feel like her husband's they might be it's like quarters but I clean up your fin kind of walk through right Clarence is what we're doing Julie is what we're doing you just clean it up you're the cleaner we'll think about it this is the Ramsey Show brought to you by the Ramsey Network app download today to go further with Ramsey