Mindfulness of Feelings (Guided Meditation) by Kamala Masters

So making those final movements to settle into your posture so that you can have this balance of feeling relaxed yet alert. Relaxed in the body, alert in the mind. Sensing this whole body just sitting here. Kind of global awareness around this body with its various sensations in different parts of the what we call body arising, changing and passing away. Notice how it is. These various parts just make that make up what we call body. Vibration, temperature of heat or coolness, smoothness, tingling, tickling, darting, hardness, softness. Various ways that these sensations which comprise this mind, this body, is sensed very directly. It's very interesting to simply notice the various sensations just as they are. For example, right now sensing the whole body. In every moment when there is just the sensation and the awareness of it, in every moment there is simply that. There's no concretizing a sense of self. There's just a seeing of it arising, changing, passing away. There can be an absence of making an I or a me or a mine out of anything. It's just this passing, changing sense door of sensation in the body in the various elemental ways. So bring your attention, your awareness to wherever you experience the breath most clearly in the rise and fall of the abdomen or the chest. Some of you may need to use that area around the nostrils, but mostly we give the instructions and the words around the attention, around the rise and fall of the abdomen or chest area. See if you can connect to the very beginning of an in-breath or the rising and in a very gentle whisper-like way noting rising or in. Then let go of that word and simply notice it really close to that actual experience. Mahasi Sayadaw says what's most important is the actual experience. So notice a complete in-breath from the very beginning to middle to end. This will start your practice, your sitting practice, in a way that brings mind and body together, settles the attention from being so fractured, allows that momentary concentration on changing experience within the in-breath. To calm, tranquilize body and mind and when it gets to the pause, notice what's going on in that pausing moment. There might be thinking or sensation being felt in another part of the body, mental states, any ways that aversion or attachment is showing up. Be sure to notice whatever is happening in the pause and then coming back to the out-breath or the falling of the abdomen and noticing the changing nature of those sensations from beginning, middle to end. And again in the pause at that out-breath, the end of that, notice if there's anything to notice and then come back again to the beginning of an in-breath. So let's do that several times and then I'll expand the instructions. Tracking from beginning, middle to end of each half-breath. And at some point perhaps you have already noticed that mindfulness doesn't stay in that place of the in and out-breath. Rising, falling of the abdomen. Mindfulness will go to another object that is more predominant. So some of the objects that become more predominant are, for example, thinking. Be sure to notice thinking simply as thinking without getting lost in the content of the thought or the whys and wherefores of it. See if you can just notice thinking as like an energy going by in the mind. Don't have to examine every single thought. Some can be very interesting and alluring. Sometimes a thought will finish itself out and there'll be awareness of the content. No problem. If there's interest or delight about it, notice that moment, that experience. And then come back to whatever is happening around the rise and fall. Or perhaps the attention goes immediately to some other experience right after noticing thinking. That will happen many times. Remember that you don't have to come back to the primary object all the time. The instruction is to stay with whatever is predominant, whatever becomes obvious, whatever is obvious in the foreground of attention. There can be many things that are there. One will notice what's in the foreground. There a lot can be in the background. Whatever is in the background, you can just leave it there. Simply notice what's in the foreground, what's most obvious. Remember that it can be any one of the five physical sense doors. For example, hearing can arise. Like right now hearing this voice, sound, or other sounds that occur that the mindfulness picks up. So from rising, falling, it can go to hearing, hearing. Again, be sure not to get lost in the object of what is being heard. See if mindfulness can be simply with hearing, not what the sound is. But the very fact of hearing. Noticing that it arises, it changes, it also passes away. Usually, because another object may arise and become more predominant. So from hearing, maybe mindfulness goes to another experience like smelling. Smelling. So notice the fact of smelling. Of course, the object may come to mind. But be careful not to get again lost in what is that? Where did it come from? There might also be the experience of tasting, another one of the physical sense doors. Sometimes tasting arises, especially after having eaten a meal. There can be tasting. So simply notice that again, without going into the object of what is being tasted. Remember that we're keeping it down to its simplest form. Simplest understanding and connection. Hearing, seeing, sometimes even with the eyes closed, there can be seeing of lights, form and color, even particular objects. Again, without getting lost in the object of that, see if seeing can be known just in that form. Seeing, seeing. There's also sensations of the body. We've covered that quite a bit. So notice the sensations that are arising in its natural form, its elemental experience. Sensations can be felt as expansion, contraction, like at the belly or the chest area. There can be sensing temperature, heat, coolness, warm, coldness. Could sense like the earth element, hardness or softness. The air element can be vibration, pulsing, swaying of the body. Any kind of movement. Water element can be more heaviness. Water element is not always so directly known. All of these elements are within one experience actually, but one of them is more predominant. You don't have to try to figure anything out. Just seeing what is predominant. And if you don't know what's going on, just notice confusion. Today we want to present the more subtle experiences that may arise. Sometimes at the beginning, very beginning of sensation in the body, it can be felt and then right on the heels of that or connected to that can be this subtle feeling tone. It's translated usually from Pali to the English as simply feeling. But sometimes we think that's an emotion or something kind of quite tangible. But this which is the second foundation of mindfulness called Vedana is actually can be quite subtle. The feeling tone of something arising in the body. For example, you might feel the sensation of roughness, for example. And right on the heels of that or connected to it can be the feeling tone of unpleasant. Unpleasant. It's not quite aversion. But it's very much more subtle. Don't try to look for it. The looking for it will obscure the experience of it. Just be receptive in whatever is being known. For example, a sensation may arise in the body that feels smooth, flowing, light. That may be the sensation. And the feeling tone that comes on the heels of that or connected with that is pleasant. Pleasant. So see if we can be receptive to those feeling tones of unpleasant, of pleasant. Sometimes it's not felt so much. The tone is very porous, very light. That would be neither pleasant nor unpleasant. Sometimes it's called neutral. That one is much more refined than the other pleasant or unpleasant. If feeling tones are not noticed, usually what happens after that is a more gross experience. For example, the feeling tone of unpleasant can go right into aversion without even noticing that feeling tone of unpleasant. It just goes right there when we're not seeing subtly what's happening moment to moment. There's aversion to some roughness expressed in the body as a sensation. Or if the experience, for example, is a sensation of smoothness and the feeling tone of pleasant is not experienced or known, it can go right to attachment or wanting more of that. Or if it happens over and over, it's clinging to it. So this is how it works in the understanding of these foundations of mindfulness. So just to review also what has already been presented. Sometimes the hindrances can present themselves very strongly. Aversion in all of its various iterations. Frustration, impatience, anger, rage. Attachment in all of its iterations. A simple wanting thought that happens over and over again. Lust can arise. Craving in a very serious way can arise for something. See if you can notice the feeling or the sense or get close to that experience. Aversion or attachment. And also again not to get lost in the object of it. But simply to know that experience of aversion or attachment per se by itself. So these are the ways that we open to many of the four foundations of mindfulness with awareness, more awareness. You can let go of all the words. See if you can have confidence and trust in knowing what to do moment to moment. Remember that we'll get lost, confused many times. That's okay. It's part of the path. Just know that moment when you finally awareness wakes up to confusion, indecision, delusion. As soon as it wakes up to that, just know that. As soon as mindfulness is there again. Let's know that moment and continue on. Be careful not to go on a train of self-criticism or frustration or not a good yogi. Simply notice that. Staying with our practice moment to moment. Trusting ourselves that we'll get back on track. Beginning again over and over. Let's do the best we can and let that be good enough. In the last few minutes of the sitting, see if we can refresh our intention to be aware, mindful. Noticing whatever is predominant or obvious or the clearest. Whatever is in the foreground. Especially noticing the hindrances when they arise or the feeling tones that are more subtle. Thank you for your practice everyone. Just want to say that congratulations. This is the beginning mark of the halfway mark of your practice. Fourth full day, you made it. You didn't go home yet, but there may have been many thoughts about it. So what are your questions this morning directly about your practice? Or maybe clarification on the instructions. Yeah, how does distinguish between needing more sleep or if it's really sloth and torpor? Well, actually sloth and torpor can mean you need more sleep. Because if you're tired and you didn't get enough sleep, you're going to have sloth and torpor. First of all, what you can determine is, you know, did you get a shortage of sleep? Rather than the normal sleep that you usually have. Like in the evening or early in the morning when we had to get up. I didn't have to, but you all did have to get up at two in the morning. The next day you probably felt sloth and torpor, right? So you can see, oh, that was because of that. That was a cause and condition. So whenever any of that happens, because say you're not feeling well, or sometime it's the moon, or it's the moon and feces kind of thing. That's supposed to be a joke. So sometimes if you know that, it helps you to understand and give yourself a little bit of a break. And then get more sleep if you need it. You know, take, lay down, get horizontal. Just let yourself fall asleep until you just wake up automatically, but not to lay in bed. You know, just get enough rest, right? Sometimes I've had to do that myself. Of course, many times up to, I've been practicing a long time and still have to do it sometimes. So know the difference. And when it's kind of like a laziness of mind, when you're sensing you got enough sleep, this must be kind of like just slogging through something. Or it could be like, behind the scenes maybe, I don't want to do this. So it's examining what's going on underneath it. So during that time you might ask oneself, like Steve was bringing up the other night. I forget exactly how Steve put it, but I would ask myself, what else is happening here? There might be a mental state that's really fueling that sloth and torpor, like frustration, or not good enough, or judgment about, you know, criticism about oneself, or something else, the teaching, or how you can understand it. Examine what's going on beneath the surface. Sometimes sloth and torpor can arise when the mind is resisting something, and not even noticing it's resisting something. And so it might be resisting opening to a certain emotion. There's the emotion, and then there's a resisting of it. And that takes a lot of energy. Especially when we don't even know. So there's a resisting of it. There's the emotion itself, and then there's the delusion around it. So there's, you know, a lot of levels going on there. So it's helpful to investigate in that way. Just asking, what else is here? And you'll see. You'll see more. Yeah. But the other things, I think one of us might have said along the way, or was it in my group, stand up, because you're usually not liable to fall down if you're standing up, because you're usually concerned about everybody else. Usually. I did see that one time. So be careful. The person fell down and woke everybody else up. So be careful about that. Take a nice walk. Just filling this out, because it's a very important one. The sloth and torpor. Other things can be there. Not enough energy. Maybe not enough getting oxygen. So we need to take a nice, nice walk. Not too fast, but don't do the slow walking. And sometimes it can help us get more energy. Open the eyes. Taking the light that's there. Sometimes that helps, you know, to light kind of awakens the mind more. Somewhere in the teachings, I don't know if it's in the suttas, King, pulling your earlobes. My acupuncturist told me it does something, actually, to the brain. I have one of my acupuncturists just as the ears. So I believe that. But hey, look at the Buddha's ears. You know, that helped me. Like, okay, maybe that's why, you know. Many lifetimes of pulling the earlobes. So there's antidotes. So use them. Use the antidotes. Don't just sit there and, you know, just take a next step. Yeah. Okay. Yes. It's not a passive thing, you say? Moderate effort, right. If you get too much tired, then it could be too much effort. That way, too. Yes. Right. How do you determine if it's too much effort? You're getting tired of too much hindrances. Yeah, we get tired of all those hindrances. So what we need to notice is the resistance to being mindful of them. That's what really tires us out. Not necessarily if we're being mindful of the hindrances, it's not going to be that we get tired of them. Usually. Usually it's the resistance to even opening to them that can be tiring. It takes a certain amount of energy to bring to each hindrance moment, you know. But actually, when a hindrance arises and mindfulness arises with it, usually if many of the other factors are in place, like a right amount of concentration, there's a right amount of energy, those two things are more in balance, then it can be that the mindfulness can face, can confront this hindrance and it's, it's, the energy is more in the mindfulness of it than kind of lost in it. So the mindfulness sort of takes the power away because there's more energy in the mindfulness than there is in the hindrance. So usually you just, you really need to get more mindful. And what does that take? It takes continuity. Because if you, if you're mindful and then you, you just decide, okay, I'm just going to do what I want to do and not pay attention to, then you, it's like you take about five steps forward and then you take four steps back and you have to start all over again. So keeping continuous is really important. Yeah, let's see, way back there. We usually don't see you. Yeah, back there in the corner. Yeah, yeah, what's wrong with that? Pardon? A little bit? Oh, because, and not sleeping a lot now. Yeah, it is an experience we've all had, and some of you, that when there's a lot of mindfulness it is, it's awake. It's awake to, mindfulness is awake to whatever's happening. So actually you need less sleep. When we're practicing, when all of us have been practicing for long periods of time, and some of you already, you know, I've, when we come over early in the morning, I notice you're walking already. You know, it's, you were awake when, we're more awake and we're more alert and we're not resisting things. So there's more energy in the mind when we're mindful. So you can expect to be awake more and it's, it's better if you can not worry about it so much. Eventually, do you fall asleep? Uh-huh. Okay, then rest in the afternoon. Yeah, you might, your body's trying to rebalance more now. So just know that when we're more mindful in a continuous way, the reason why we don't need so much more sleep is because the mind isn't reacting as much to whatever's going on. It's actually more restful during the day. I know we find, like Steve and I find, we don't need as much sleep generally because, you know, we're being as mindful as we can all day. So four hours sleep, five hours sleep is actually enough. But we do get tired, like in heat and when there's a lot of heat and that's one condition that can make us really tired or we're not getting the right amount of food or water. So we have to really look at all those real basic things, too. What are we lacking that is sort of not in correct balance? Sometimes I don't know what's going on just to be very practical and I, I can't understand why the body feels this way and I realize I haven't had enough water and just drinking the water just settles me out. So check, check all those basic things, but also don't get too worried if you're not sleeping as much. You know, if you reported that to one of our teachers and, and I'm, I'm thinking too, oh, that's good, you know. Being more mindful can keep you more awake. Yeah, one more directly in the middle here. Yeah. How do you discern how much attention, curiosity, mindfulness do you give, say thinking, that particular, yeah. Okay. So I can, or aversion, so kind of putting those two together. So if there's thinking and then mindfulness arises with it, what mindfulness sees is the, when it's really strong, is the impermanent nature of thinking. Mindfulness does not make thinking go away. Mindfulness reflects and sees that that moment is impermanent. So the fact that you or anyone else is seeing that it disappears, that means that your mind is seeing the wisdom factor that Tara spoke about last night of impermanence. And it's not because mindfulness makes things go away. It's because mindfulness is like a clear mirror that sees what the true nature of that is, which is impermanence. So that's a good thing, and I think one of the other of you mentioned that. That's really beneficial for your practice. Don't try to bring it back if it just goes away. Yeah, just that. Don't make a Dharma talk in your mind about it either. It's just the mind is registering in the area of wisdom that this is a moment of impermanence. That is really important to your mind. You may not be saying, oh, this is impermanence. Yay, you know. It's just that just knowing it goes into your mind stream, and that is one moment of registering wisdom. That moment is so important, so don't mess with that moment. And when it keeps coming up over and over again, a particular thinking about a subject matter, then you might ask, what else is here? And so that's a time to discover what hindrance is fueling that thought. It could be the hindrance of any iteration of aversion or wanting or craving or clinging to something. So in that area, the mind may go in terms of what else is there. So when you ask that question, or maybe it just investigates right away the whole of that kind of bundle of that kind of karmic knot that's there that keeps coming back, you might notice that there's something else happening there. Or if I mentioned attachment aversion, or if it's confused about something, then really notice that. Don't try to solve the problem if it's a problem. If it's not attachment, not aversion, if it's some kind of confusion, it's better to note just confusion. Because the mind will try to figure it out, and it's you'll go down that rabbit hole, and you just really need to notice the fact of delusion in that moment. Okay, so a few announcements now. Let's see. Oh, just a reminder to give yourself time. You are slowing down, we noticed. So to give yourself time to get from one place to another, especially coming to the hall. So you need more time now to get to the hall on time. So it's it's a nice way of saying, please be on time. Please. No, actually, really, we we try to wait till all of you are here, because we don't want you to miss anything. Everything, every message that we give you is part of and builds on previous messages. And actually, what happens is we wait for you, and it shortens the time for everybody. So it's not just you, it's it's everybody that gets involved in this. So, you know, we'll still ring the bell at the end at the same time. So it shortens the time of us being able to talk to you, and for people to be able to listen, and and do the whole sitting. So I know that there are emergencies sometimes, like you know, you just can't get here for one reason. So remember to go down and underneath that, through the bowling hall, and come back up again. And you know, we understand emergencies, so no problem. But it seems like we we need to bring that up for the benefit of all. So thank you for your practice. We'll go now to the next thing we have to do.