Do Chinese Women Prefer Chinese Men?

this Chinese guy has trouble dating Chinese women but no trouble dating other types of women what's going on here let's discuss oh my goodness this type of question is kind of controversial but you know different Asian Community they operate differently let's take a look at this Reddit post no luck with Chinese girls versus other types of Asian girls and he's 26 years old he's a Chinese American he's 5'11 he says he's good-looking he said he's gotten with plenty of other types of women in the Bay Area including white women or white European women however Chinese girls do not seem to like Chinese guys and he's just asking is this just a me thing is this a Bay Area thing or does it seem like of all the Asians Chinese women prefer Chinese men the least all right guys I didn't get it this sounds kind of controversial I am not saying we're not saying at all that there's that all Chinese women do not prefer Chinese guys I think we've met many who do but this is a discussion that a lot of guys have had and so I think it's worthy to look into not that it's true on a blanket statement it might be Case by case but we got to look into it well I'll say this is a bit controversial to talk about but uh yeah make sure you like subscribe turn on your notifications check out smile ass sauce on amazon.com right now so dve I guess the question is people are looking for reasons because there's been amongst Chinese guys there has been ABC guys let's be honest cuz this is a different discussion like fob to ABC yeah so so what this guy said in his post he did say uh women born in China like immigrant Chinese women you know fobs when maybe they came here for college or for high school they are more uh open to dating him as the ABC but he feels like other ABC women american-born Chinese women do not prefer a Chinese guy maybe they're dating other Asians or non-asians as we know but here's the issue a lot of guys are like who cares if you're getting women of other ethnicities cuz he lists out VI Burmese Philippino Korean blah blah blah blah blah but he leads uh ends with this last sentence I really want somebody who deeply understands Chinese culture that's why this is an issue to me in terms of like long-term marriage right all right so guys we're going to go into some reasons that we found using some of the comment section so these are not all the reasons I know for sure but these are possible reasons on why it feels like Chinese women don't American Born Chinese women don't always prefer Chinese guys all right Point number one Asian self-love is the most difficult or complicated when you're Chinese so you're saying Asian self L for men and women yes I just think that other smaller groups they have more of a clear narrative whereas Chinese the group is so large there's so many different immigration waves the whole Narrative of being Chinese do you love it do you hate it what are the pros and the cons it's so amorphous it makes everybody arrive at a different conclusion so the guys often times Andrew they're possibly in my opinion looking at the pros of being Chinese I think sometimes the women tend at List look at the cons okay so basically I think being Chinese is kind of weird because you're an East Asian but you're not a hyper cool elevated East Asian like Japanese or Koreans that's not how you're perceived right it's you're like maybe viewed as the grandmother to those cultures but not the modern cool modern world iteration of East Asian Confucianism or Buddhism or whatever it is and then Andrew you're not necessarily I guess bonded by situations like Southeast Asians okay right like right which like if you're Vietnamese uh or Cambodian you guys uh most people have a very similar Pathway to getting here with a lot of struggles yes that yes so and you don't have any religion or belief system okay because especially if this guy's like Mainland Chinese Andrew uh more atheist right so and or and then and then the only belief systems that people would point out which I don't think are true but but if you would it'd be like either communism or being anti-communist but those are political systems that's not a ethno religious status okay that for example like Indians have uh but they could be very like provincial so I guess what I'm saying is when it comes to self-love it can either be driven by pain or some sort of elevation but I feel like the Chinese Americans community's view on itself can be very lukewarm but I guess that self-love as in self Pride too like there's like they just seem less prideful of their culture and of maybe their men yes because it's like very tit fortat maybe you hear a good thing from the past and then you hear a bad thing now and a good thing and then a bad thing it makes you have very ambivalent ambiguous feelings about yourself as a community basically what I'm saying is you don't even have a strong feeling about yourself ah moving on to point number two Andrew I know that this is the way you worded it but it kind of plays off at number one but it's an extension of that they're just not raised to be passionate enough about each other yeah what what does that mean well I mean I think that uh like let we we'll play some clips from these Comedy clips of people talking about who are the most toxic Asians and you'll see that Chinese never rank at the top of toxicity well well they're usually actually quite low right Chinese men and Chinese women are considered less toxic than Vietnamese Filipino blah blah the other types of Asians run the clips what do you guys think is the most toxic race this isn't my perspective from my friend's perspective I think Viet will probably have to be up there uh especially the ABG ones I can make a lot of excuses for them but I just feel like they always feel like the grass is greener somewhere else because they're bad as and nothing is ever enough on the bottom paig you were good I'm waiting for you to be great and next kle you didn't stick out to me next is Brook next neon you're third on the pyramid you were third overall high score and McKenzie and on top of the pyramid going three for three once again is Maddie today we're ranking Asian girls from least toxic to most toxic on the bottom we got Chinese they're quite practical I've never heard of toxic Mongolians our ties they're Japanese it's all about respect but inside there next is Korean Malaysian around the Koreans cuz cambodians phow the top one Viet girls they are psycho but in a good way but psycho and I'm very afraid so that is so great right to not be toxic that is like one of the most desirable PR you don't want to be toxic so but so why is this op saying that because the low toxicity rating is good being non-toxic is good in a way but toxicity means that there's High pings that there's close relationships that there's a lot of interactions with each other to be toxic you cannot be toxic to someone you are not close to so Filipinos they daily each other whatever you could say make the jokes they toxic with Vietnamese toxic within the community you're always toxic within the community right so I'm saying if Chinese are not as close and they can't be as toxic right so what I mean is that toxicity is a double-edged sword right it's it's bad I mean not double-edged sword but it has pros and cons where on one side it's bad because you're doing wrong to each other but on the other side it shows that you're highly passionate about each other because you need passion to even be toxic and care about each other right you're saying the glue can sometimes Manel manifest itself into toxicity but when there is no glue there's no close interpersonal feeling to even develop toxicity yes yes to have hate you must have love uh like and I think this goes back to a video we just did called why don't Chinese trust or help each other a lot please watch that video I think it actually has a lot to do with the explanations in this right right right you're saying the op might be just pointing out his own self-interested symptom of something that's much larger at a systemic core Point number three Andrew Chinese men that only want Chinese women are chasing a smaller volume of women since many Chinese women are open to seeing what else is out there from other groups so that is going to create a logistical imbalance in lever in within relationships uh this is just the supply and the demand curve right this is literally you could plot this out in terms of microeconomics 101 right right right right yeah I would say that that's true um because I would say this I think that Chinese American women like we said guys is everybody's different it depends on your family coaching and stuff like that they're more just like oh what is like the best thing that's out there I don't need the guy to be Chinese whereas I think like Korean women or even Viet women or they they may more have that um Weighing on their decision like pie like that pie slice that weighs on the pie chart of decision-making is a larger slice yeah I mean I think listen a lot of women who marry out or date out of their group I think that they don't need any more of their culture I think a lot of them feel comfortable in the amount of culture they already have like maybe a lot of the Chinese girls who date out they already know some Chinese so they don't need to speak with their partner in Chinese or they you know they already feel like I don't need to be around that culture anymore and I think that that also this also relates to how sometimes esoteric and unappealing traditional Chinese culture seems where it kind of sometimes repels people men and women the guys who can leave and are like yo I'm too cool for this stuff I'm not that Chinese but I think women feel that maybe more often or they have more options to leave yeah because it is true and and without getting into the history of it Chinese culture is the oldest and the most from the way old days like if you basically made me point out what is modern day Chinese culture it's way more difficult to explain than what is the modern culture of another type of Asia right right right right cuz it's more stuck in the past and more linked to the past and you could take pride in that and say we created a lot of the past but at the end of the day it doesn't matter in terms of modern day application that is uh the outcome of the algorithm uh Point number four this guy says that this uh that he feels that Chinese women when they are in a relationship demand more from the men that they are with compared to other types of Asian women yeah so this is obviously blanket statement I don't fully agree but I think that we can say generally Chinese women are pretty hardworking they're uh come from a high achievement culture which are men and women right Chinese guys and Chinese women both come from this high achievement culture but almost the almost the most achievement centc yes of of the Asians I would say almost the most formal achievement Centric as far as money-making and education but other people would call it myopic or narrow you know not holistic whatever imbalance yeah I think so so I think that when Chinese come from a achievement oriented background they want what is best this goes back to the other point but they want what is best maybe you could use the word hypergamy when it marries or whatever it is or maybe just they just want the best thing that they can have and the best thing doesn't have to be a Chinese guy right right right if their metrics identify somebody in another group etc etc and it's not that every everybody can make their own decisions in life right but the Chinese culture seems particularly like looking for the best opportunity absolutely possible with no nothing sort of like uh holding that desire back you know what I mean it's sort of like the Wendy Deng thing I'll say this I also think that there's other things such as the one child policy and the breakdown of patriarchy in China if you look at Japan and Korea they're just starting to break down patriarchy this decade right in China I think it fell apart like 30 or 40 years ago so you're seeing you know I mean just like a different timeline of the breakdown of patriarchy and I think that there's also if you really want to get granular Andro there's this other thing called like mental testosterone I think the Chinese women have a ton of mental testosterone henceforth why you have people like Lisa sue the CEO of AMD who is a billionaire to be honest I mean that's like a whole another video um also I think the Chinese women are really really independent I think they're taught to be that way I don't think that the way the women and the men are coached typically is that different like I'm not saying I can't speak on everybody but I do believe other Asians occasionally coach the men or invest in the men in women differently I do not think there is any difference in a Chinese family between the investment between the male and the female siblings um what else we got here Point number five Andrew this is by the way not my words this is just we just pulling this from the comment section this is uh some food for thought here Chinese women may be more dissatisfied with their own men and want to be more Western than other types of Asian women where their entire culture has westernized to the point where they feel like their men are sufficiently westernized yeah so I can kind of see what they're saying here in the sense that I think though that this is not really on the Chinese women as much at this point where it's like listen guys you got to look at the parents and you got to look at the guys and how we're raised sometimes and how Chinese men are taught and I think that a lot of Chinese parents don't do the best job of instilling pride in their women and Sons in the daughters and sons where you're saying just all across the board yeah just all across the board where it's like the men the guys are not raised to be as uh uh uh I guess westernized or assimilated or they're not forced to be or they're not expected to be and so they don't and therefore it doesn't make them more appealing to American people right right right I would say more on the sociality end because it is true I I'll keep it real with you guys being raised in a Chinese family from the age of 25 to 50 that specific age range that I'm referring to the op is 26 so he falls in that range unfortunately it's like it's like if you got good grades and you make somewhere in the six figures of income and you have like some sort of steam profession it's almost like you have no other social responsibilities or like Community responsibilities beyond that right you don't have to be pushed to be a socialized man uh and you don't have to be you're not going to necessarily be pushed to be a leader just as long as you accomplish those things sometimes your family is satisfied and sometimes that's the fault of the family where it's like dude like you still need these guys to be well adapted and like you know uh uh uh uh assertive people you know right right right it's definitely not like Charisma or being Charming or anything it's definitely not a metric that is maybe possibly even tracked at all Point number six Andrew Chinese women who like Chinese men may want a guy who can speak Chinese so a lot of ABCs they're already precluded from that group as well uh yeah so this works different ways I feel like for American Born Chinese women who can speak the language uh I feel like they don't really usually care as much as if they were born there so here's I I've heard both that there's plenty of fob women who date ABC guys and vice versa you know I think so I think it works out too but it does seem like ABC I mean uh I'm sorry for for lack of a better word guys first generation newly AR like foreign passport holder Chinese women like dating Chinese guys more than ABC women do would you agree with that possibly I mean I'll tell you this this is a a Insight from my dating background is that of all the Chinese girls that I've dated uh some which have been like fobs or born in Asia and then came over here but also some ABCs I've always been probably the worst at Chinese like of the two I'm always the most am I'm the most Americanized so what I feel like I'm getting is that the girls that I've dated the Chinese girls that I've dated have always been more a little bit more Chinese than me so if you so you're saying they possibly were looking for a more Americanized significant other yes so if they do look for a more Americanized significant other whether they're a immigrant or a American Born then who is more American well if they can't find an ABC guy that that appeals to them then it's going to be like a white guy or a non-asian right right right and then or or just a different type of Asian that's more Americanized guy Korean guy I would say Filipino guys and Korean guys are both more American ized on average than your average ABC guy yeah and that is a function of culture and we can get into that and how who's steeped in Confucianism or who can mix and match and let go of this or maybe it's a religious thing because Filipinos and Christians are I mean uh Filipinos and Koreans are more Christian which gave them a chip set that allowed them to digest the Western culture more uh let it marinate through their bones or whatever um next up Point number seven Andrew I think all right so this this point number seven I'm gonna have to address Chinese men and CH Chinese parents because I feel like we've had all these reasons of being like oh maybe there's something about Chinese women that feel this way or something that but I'm like dude like we got to we got to take some blame on if Chinese women don't like Chinese guys I'm not saying that there's not a bunch of other factors but there has to be some conversation about this right you're saying you can't point at all these different variables and then leave out the variable that uh involves self- accountability like like how many stories do we have of like hero iic Chinese men like how much are we told these stories when we're younger you know like how how often are we watch movies it's either Mulan which is was a female shout out to Mulan or a monkey yeah some wuk yeah and and I'm not monkey or you're not and I'm not goingon to lie some jackiechan movies the earlier Jackie Chan movies it was hard to like here's the thing about Jackie Chan which I love Jackie Chan love Jackie Chan but I don't think it really like impacted the women the same way it impacted the guys right and and obviously he was more romantic in his Asia Only releases versus his uh Western roles right otherwise he was kind of like this uh indestructible like martial arts Baymax gummy ball that would just fly everywhere and do all this crazy stuff and be a comedian like Jackie Chan was part comedian so it wasn't like as sexy even though I'm a big fan of Jackie Chan by the way but I guess what I'm saying is like there's just something about growing up as a Chinese guy where if the parents don't come down if the parents don't know how to adapt to America and can't teach you how to be more American and you don't find a way to become more American then you don't end up acting more American and that will play against you in the dating Market in America makes sense logical right yeah yeah yeah to to sum up what you're trying to say in point number seven I've seen in terms of sociality probably the most maladapted Asian guys be Chinese dude yeah D how many times have we seen this where you met a Chinese girl or Asian girl this happens to all Asians but maybe particularly Chinese who seems pretty well adapted and then you talk and then she talks about her family and they're always like oh but my brother's really nerdy he's really shy he's quiet like oh like are you close to your brother like what's going on she's on her 23rd boyfriend her her brother little brother has never had a girlfriend yeah yeah like literally like this girl's like a pretty girl she has a great social life she can date almost any type of guy she wants packed Google Calendar packed Google Calendar lots of events and her brother little brother or older brother is like a nerd dates one or two people in his life and I'm just like I know that happens in All Families but it seems like it happens a lot in the and you know this is a great time to mention guys I got a email sign up in the com in the description below if you guys want to check out potentially some Asian male self-improvement premium content that is going to be you know basically designed to directly address these issues within any Community but maybe you know specifically uh impacting the chinesee American Community the strongest um it out ultimately here's my major takeaway man um life is variable every Asian is variable every Asian is arriving in a different situation but I think the weirdest thing about being Chinese is any archetype that you think of cuz there's so many of us on Earth and so many of us in the west like any Community you slip into you could like be surrounded by like a 100,000 people just like yourself do you know what I'm saying whereas like in other Asian communities you might like have one cousin who's this way the cool guy cousin the nerd guy cousin The Hustler cousin and it's all like everybody might be like balancing each other out a little bit in terms of like camaraderie or coaching but I feel like in the Chinese World it could end up like there's five male cousins but they're all just like gaming together all the time right right so and that's like a function of the size because when you have the size in the uh the critical mass it allows each archetype to be like more uh siloed into its own lane so I guess uh ultimately I will say this man I think that for I do think it's getting better but I do think that this op Andrew is referring to the Bay Area he's 26 years old so that puts him in the age range in my opinion of Chinese America that's kind of in the loss Zone which is like 25 years old to 50 years old for this reason Andrew if you're 25 to 50 and you're Chinese American and you guys will notice this even if you guys aren't Chinese but amongst your Chinese American friends there's just a lot of confusion about what a guy is supposed to be or even how the girls are supposed to represent being Chinese right so I guess Andrew how do how do people deal with this or would you just recommend that the op just continue to date non-chinese women well I remember at the end of his post he says uh I'm really trying to understand this phenomenon because I'm Chinese and truth be told I want a Chinese partner I want someone who deeply understands Chinese culture well if you're talking about people who deeply understand Chinese culture you might as well get an immigrant girl a fob like an international student and there's a a lot cuz they're going to understand Chinese culture the most that's what they learn over there in school yeah but I think they I would recommend to him what are you even talking about in terms of Chinese culture if he's from the bay and he's like oh I'm just talking about like old toison culture from Chinatown that's going to complicate it right if he doesn't want to get into some other provinces right yeah I just want a really hot Chinese girl that wants to eat dim some twice a week in Inner Sunset and yeah that's all I want I'm like all right man that's very specific yeah yeah too specific I always tell Chinese guys man it's true that we're not as like fancy preppy sometimes as like Koreans and Japanese people Japanese Jazz bars Korean golfers right maybe we're not having as much Arena Club you know street style fun as like Southeast Asians maybe we're not as extroverted or socially calibrated as Filipinos but we still got to understand that we have to have like value in ourselves and that we could be you could mix and match yeah that that's honestly the benefit of being more amorphous like you're not like siloing in one of those Lanes it's more like life is more of a pick your own choice Adventure well guys uh you know hope I know it sounds like a controversial topic by the way guys a lot of great Chinese women out there very proud of their culture like Chinese guys love Chinese guys but no doubt that this has been a conversation that I've even had before I saw this Reddit post with other chines chines guys before and I think it's just that the feeling is that a lot of Chinese women good-looking Chinese women that are born in America that are Americanized do not prefer Chinese men which it would be nice if more of them at least did a little bit more and again a lot of guys have had this conversation in a anecdotal way there's really no stats or science behind it that we can really point at other than the marry out rate I guess but ultimately guys let us know what you think in the comments down below please Chinese ladies weigh in as well check out the email list in the description guys if you want some more info until next time with the hop hop boys we out peace