Life On Board An Aircraft Carrier | Warship E5 | Our Stories

Thirteen battleships, two and a half thousand sailors on a journey halfway around the world. Leading the flotilla, Her Majesty's Finest. Aircraft carrier HMS Illustrious. Her mission, to show off Britain's military power in the Middle East. And to train the naval strike wing to reach their full fighting potential. Lusty has been at sea for 60 days. The temperature in the Indian Ocean has reached 40 degrees. But that hasn't stopped the Harrier squadron who've got to prime themselves for their next tour of Afghanistan. Lieutenant Commander Toby Everett has been flying helicopters and Harriers in war zones for the last 16 years. And he's going to be training up the pilots. The whole point about flying these jets is that you can pretty much fight the aircraft and don't have to take your hands off the stick or the throttle. We have two televisions which give us engine data, navigation data and weapon data. This is my head up display and here information is projected onto a glass screen so that I can see through it. And get speed, altitude and also some aiming information for weaponary. But actually it's very simple. It's a great big engine. We've got some accelerator and some nozzle levers and a stick to move it around. To be ready for war, the pilots have to be able to take off and land from an aircraft carrier day or night. Rich Hillard, aka Bollie, has been flying Harriers for 12 years. But even he's got a bit to learn about landing on a ship. It's probably about the hardest pure flying that we do as pilots on the Harrier. It's a moving platform going through the water at about 30 knots. It can be pitching up and down a bit. For the first time he's going to attempt landing in poor light conditions, just after sundown. Toby takes up his position as landing safety officer in flight command. He'll be talking Bollie down. Really all we've got to work with is the radios to make sure that we've got communications with the guys. Worst case we would tell them that they're getting close to the sea and they need to eject. Toby also uses a sight. This has a series of parallel lines with a middle marker indicating the centre line of the ship. As it approaches, the jet's landing light should be seen between the middle and the right marker. Toby monitors the jet's flight path between the sight lines. The jet will drop down the sight and he lets the pilot know he's descending on the correct angle by calling on the roger. It has no naughty connotation whatsoever. Now it's twilight, Bollie starts his approach run. We've got so few references as we come down. He's vital to our safety. Once we're close alongside, we're really hanging on this voice that's coming from Flyco and it's generally a nice soothing voice. There's a lot going on in the cockpit, your hands moving around from the throttle to the nozzle lever, constantly trying to maintain the right attitude when you're alongside the boat. Now that the guys have scared themselves senseless, they'll go and relax and have a light refreshment on the quarterdeck. By that, he means they're hosting a cocktail party. Nine deck is where you find the marine engineers. These are the fellas that keep Lusty running. On the ship, they're known as stokers. It comes from the time when sailors were needed to stoke the coal furnaces of the boilers that powered the engine. Now the ship runs on diesel, but there's plenty to keep the stokers busy. Second in charge of this male-dominated world is Lieutenant Commander Helen Ashworth. Mr. Richmond, into the computer room please. Find out if the WE's have got everything that they need. I don't think that your gender has any effect whatsoever on the way you do your job. I'm not treated any different than the lads. Someone else who fancies life as a marine engineer is 19-year-old steward Rachel. Thank you very much. And it's not just because her new boyfriend's a stoker. Ever since I was dead little, I was breaking things just so I could fix it again. And most girls were playing with Barbie dolls and I was fixing a toaster. So, Rachel's come to see Helen about doing some work experience. Okay, marine engineering guide. Keep that in your big pocket at all times. That tells you all of the different systems that you're going to be working with. Make the most of this week because this will be the week that decides for you whether you really do want to go for the branch transfer. You will either love it or you will hate it. It's Rachel's first day on work experience with the marine engineers. She's about to meet the stoker she'll be shadowing. Hi guys. This morning we have a guest. She's transferring from the stewards branch to the ME branch. So, obviously today you've been volunteered to be our mentor. So, the first job I'd like you to walk around and do a set of dailies. Top of the list, fixing a leaking shower in the girls' bathroom. First of all, to stop the leaks, you have to shut the isolations off in the showers. So, if I go shut them, what's the plan here? Watch that water stop. Rachel tries the oldest trick in the book. Whiskey? Did you try turning the shower off? I tell you what, you make a good stoker, Rach. Even we forget things in time. Right, let's go back. I've just done my first job and it's really good. I've been putting whiskey's male pride in the process, but I've just fixed some of it. So, I feel really good about myself at the moment. And now the girls can take a shower without a leak. Down on Ninedeck, there's a dirtier job for the stokers to get stuck into. It's going to need all their brain and brawn. Because they've got to change one of the four Rolls Royce Olympus engines. Luckily, they keep a spare one on board. Usually, it's a planned change of an engine. So, you wait until you get to Portsmouth. But because this one's broken and we're on deployment, we need to change it as quickly as possible. Lusty drops anchor in the Indian Ocean. I want to sit rep at the end of day one to say the engine change is commencing. Our watch leaders are Chief Higginson is one watch leader and Chief Palmer is the other watch leader. Helen and the team prepare for the most ambitious job any of them will undertake at sea. I'm a very sad engineer and I think it's amazing. And actually, so do most of the engineers on board. We've got lots of volunteers from other departments who want to come and help us. Because in 16 years, I've only seen an engine change at sea done once. It takes four hours just to winch the three and a half tonne engine out. It's the marine equivalent of those used on Concorde. As the replacement is prepared to be installed, the old one is brought up to the flight deck to be stored. The mid-afternoon heat has got too much for Rachel. Whilst in the stoker's control room, she fainted and hit her head. At the moment, she's stood down for 24 hours, which means that she's not allowed to work for 24 hours. Our machinery spaces are very, very hot. We have very steep ladders. And we do need people to be physically fit before they come down to us. After visiting the sick bay, she's up and about to tell her boss in the steward's department what happened. What were you doing? Stokery things? I was just stood there talking about my day. And then I stacked it, and I hit my head, and I was unconscious for like two minutes. And because of that, I've been stood down for 24 hours. Well, you want to be a stoker, don't you? I know. I want to go back to work, but I was like, ah, come on, sir. One of the servants is like, I wouldn't be alive to know that you're unconscious. 24 hours off. Are you all right? You've got a dizzy head and all that. Are you all right? No, I feel fine. What can I say? We're a crash house, aren't we? Come on, see you later. See you later. Rachel's twin brother, Shaina, is working in the bakery. She's come to see him for some support. Oh, it's going to get better, but, you know, milking it. Milking it. Right, I'll see you later, OK? Brother's lovely. He was a bit worried. He's made us some get well biscuits. He says that they keep my energy up, so I don't need to. And stoker Dave, Rachel's new boyfriend, has heard the news on the grapevine. Too excited and just stacked it. Just couldn't wait to be a stoker and fell over. She's fine, isn't she? We've got to get back to work. See you later. See you in a bit. The hardened and more experienced stokers have been putting up with the sweltering conditions to get Lusty on the move again. Marine engineering isn't the most glamorous job. The thing about being an engineer on the ship is you get absolutely skankin'. But baby wipes are the best invention ever. But you do pamper yourself a little bit. My husband's great. He always gets me this oil stuff. You go down the naff in, you really haven't got that much of a choice, and this smells lovely. But I'm afraid I don't do much in the way of beauty, but a little bit of oil, a little bit of face cream, and that'll keep me on the go. But when I go home, the first thing my husband always does is books me into the hairdresser. Yeah, can I help you? That's a particularly nice shot. Yes. And you never, ever get any peace. Never. All right, I'll tell you this information later. Thank you. See, exactly that. You never, ever get any peace. So what little bit of time you do get on your own, you just have to make the most of it. It's quite strange. One of the biggest compliments you can get is that the guys have forgotten that you're a girl. And you don't really appreciate it until you do dress up to go out. And people that speak to you day in, day out just walk past you. Even my deputy did it to me. And he's known me for ten years. On 8 Deck, the Naffy stores do a roaring trade in all the extras. Toiletries, cigarettes, chocolate. And so far, they've sold 55,000 cans of lager, 22,000 cans of cider and 6,000 pot noodles. The Navy, Army and Air Force Institutes was formed in 1921 and is now run by a spa supermarket to employ civvies. When you're at sea, everyone sees you as part of being in the Navy anyway. You have to do action stations, emergency stations. You've got to get used to the routines that they do. Like, getting up seven days a week at the same time and things like that. I like my bed and I don't get to stay in it as much as I want to. But it's OK. They've imprisoned. And there's another downside to being in the middle of the ocean. Stocks are running low and getting them replenished isn't exactly easy. From January 21st when we set off, it was full up. Basically, we were climbing over everything to get to what we needed for stores to go upstairs to our shop. Within the space of two months, this is what we're down to. They desperately need a delivery. But instead of docking, they meet up with one of these. A floating supermarket for what they call a RAS. Replenishment at sea. OK. For today, it will be our rig 6 to Illustrious' rig 13, his sliding paddiser. The Fort Austin is part of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary. And their stores manager has just received Lusty's shopping list. We've got everything from the metal buckets. We've got blue paper towels, round paper bag, frozen goods, potatoes, button mushrooms, soft drinks and more frozen goods. We're going to indicate to the Fort Austin from the Illustrious by visual means I'm commencing my approach. To get 10 tonnes of shopping from one moving ship to another in the middle of the Indian Ocean is a mission. The Illustrious pulls up alongside Fort Austin. They fire a line between the ships and they pass the delivery across using a hydraulic rig. So, they'll have to keep just 40 metres apart for the next three hours. In charge of today's operation is Lusty's deputy head of logistics. We've got ammunition coming across first. Then we're going to be looking at bringing some provisions across. And finally, more important to ship's company, hot, particularly in this weather, a bit of beer and some Ribena also. Royal Fleet Auxiliary ships like Fort Austin are part of the Navy, but they're crewed by merchant seamen, like Chief Petty Officer Dave Edney. We're civilian employed. We all work for the Ministry of Defence, but obviously none of us are service personnel. All the RFA ships now are heavily involved in conflicts all around the world. And we've just recently taken part in two Gulf Wars. David's daughter Penny happens to be on Illustrious, but after 64 days as a ship's steward, she's fed up. I've had enough of this on ML. I've had enough of doing jobs that I don't want to do anymore. Like now I'm standing here in toilets cleaning them. I didn't know I'd always be doing that for three months solid. Never knew that. The hardest thing about it is, I think, that if you've had a down day, it's not like you can go, I'm going home now. You've got to be on it. You've got to live, sleep, eat with the same people you do every single day. But Penny's in for a treat. She's getting a free ride to Fort Austin with the RAS. I'm really excited. I'm really happy. I never thought I'd ever do it. It's great to see her. I mean, it's been... The father-daughter reunion has gone to plan, but the ship-to-ship transfer between Lusty and Fort Austin has gone a bit pear-shaped. Well, at the minute, there seems to be a few problems. We were hoping to get 30 loads over there, which would normally take about three hours, ten an hour. Lusty's winch is playing up, but the delay gives Penny some more time to spend with her dad. On this ship, I think, it's a lot more laid back, as in ways of how they go about things. Not everything's rushed. Whereas on a warship, they've got the aircraft on board, and they fly in 24-7, whereas we get up on the decks a lot more. We've got more freedom. We've got individual cabins for everyone. You maybe see it as a bit of a glamour in terms of a hotel-type lifestyle. After two hours, the RAS has come to a grinding halt. Quite disappointing, really, because the next load that was going to come across would be quite good for ships and all. On Fort Austin, it's time for Penny to return to Lusty. As the sun sets, squadron leader Bolly is being psyched up for the toughest challenge any Harrier pilot will take on. There's no moon. There's no horizon. There's nothing else out there. That's the hardest you can do, I think. So, tonight, I'm going to launch completely at night, using my night-vision goggles, and then coming back out to land in absolutely dark. Unless you trust your instruments, you don't know which way is up. You've just got to fly the instruments, follow the procedures you're trained to. It's seen as the most difficult thing you can do. He's just taken off. It'll take him about five or ten minutes to calm down, because, of course, he's launched off into absolute pitch blackness. He's got his goggles on, but when he lifts them up, he'll see there is absolutely nothing out there. I remember how he feels. As soon as you put the gear up and you're settled out at 2,000 feet, you're like, right. OK, now let's think about landing. Wind is red 5 at 34 knots. Slightly low on the roger. There's the roger. The Harrier approaches the ship from the port side and hovers to give the pilot a chance to get his bearings. The only thing visible to him through his goggles are the runway lights and the electro-luminescent panels. The aim is to move towards the panels at a 90 degree angle and use the runway lights to centre the Harrier onto the ship. Well, that's the theory. That's a nice height. That's a good position and a nice height. Very nice. Well done, fella. Fucking hell. Three, please. Nothing. He didn't say anything there. He was saying it's nice to be on the deck. Well done. Well done, guys. Quite a lot of drift off the superstructure, so coming down I had a lot of corrections to do. Have a look at the tape, but it wasn't my tidiest effort ever. Still got a little bit of a heartbeat going, but I'm down and back in here, so that's good. There he is. Well done, Bollie. Nice work, mate. You do deserve it. Mate, that was great. You came across the deck and I thought, right, he's completely got it. And then you started the slight falling leaf of, oh, no, no, there's no, oh, no, there's no, right. And you came down and landed with about one knot of left drift, so it was no dramas. You were absolutely on the tram line, so you couldn't have it harder than that. Done. Nice. It's scrubbed up. The 40-strong Harrier support crew are hard at it. And it's making for a very good spectator sport. Well done, you boys. Have a shower. Well done, boys. Even the pilots are getting stuck in. The boys normally do this once a week or so, but it's just a nice thing for us to come out and help, show a bit of willing, because at the end of the day we fly them and we break them, and the guys do a great job fixing them. Sorry, sir. Have you not done that already? The boys are led by senior maintenance man Chaney. Right, some of the guys, it's like the barely 20, and they're single-handedly responsible for £20 million worth of jet on their signature, plus a weapons payload and the pilot's life. The Harrier and helicopter squadrons are called WAFUs, which some say is short for weapons and fuel users, but the ship's company has their own interpretation. WAFUs stands for wet and fucking useless. And we say it's wonderful and frequently unique. I think they're lazy, they don't do much. Well, considering it's like I'm working a 15-hour day at the moment, it's like balls to them. The sailors, or the fish heads as the WAFUs call them, have been cooped up on the ship for 66 days, so they have to make an effort to keep fit. PT instructor Billy May is the man when it comes to putting them through their paces. There needs to be a general level of fitness throughout our sailors, because in a time of war, they have to be fit to fight. He runs four circuit training classes a day. With such a gruelling schedule, Billy needs some assistance. Have you got my loopers on? No, Dan! OK, that's loopers. Have you helped me with loopers? Dan Appleby is Billy's apprentice. He's hoping to prove he's got what it takes to follow in Billy's footsteps. I am wanting to change from warfare departments to being a physical training instructor of the Royal Navy. So, he's signed up for the four-month PTI training course. OK, two shifts, climb. Knees up, lay back. Short shift, long shift, hand on top. Knees up, lay back. Short shift, long shift, hand on top. It's a bit like having a little brother, actually. He's massively keen, he kind of like hangs on every word and watches everything I do. But I don't want him to be a clone of me. I want him to be his own man. OK, right arm through. Lock off. OK. No, no, no. Watch this arm doing. That's it. People find him a bit intimidating. He's a bit scary, but when you get to know him a bit better, you find that he's not that tough. Good. OK. All right. Better? You had no choice up there with your arms down here like this. Enjoy it. I've got a few more burns this week and the stinging. It's not fun. It's not just Dan's body that needs to be trained up. Right, you're just in your own time. Pretend there's 10,000 people behind me and you're taking them for daily exercises. Class. Do a mark. Time. Class. He's got to learn how to multitask, remembering the routines, throwing his voice and doing the exercises all at the same time. OK. Heels and leather toes. Down and back. Down and back. One, two, three, four. Stand still. Don't move. Right. So, have you emphasised that? One, two, three, still. Class. Do a mark. Time. Oh, my God. For fuck's sake. He doesn't like to come second at anything. And rightly so. If he wants to be a physical trainer, we don't come second at anything. Down and back. Down and back. One, two, three, still. Better. Better. Not great, just better. On five deck, steward Rachel's recovered from heatstroke and is back on work experience with the stokers. You go first, I'll follow. In between the decks, you've got a space. Inside it is just pipes and we use it for stores. There's a vertical ladder that goes down. You get what you want and you pass it up. So, it's a two-person thing. The person at the top has to stand centre because some people, believe it or not, don't always see the bright yellow rails and fall down and it can hurt. Her week's trial is coming to an end and senior marine engineer Helen Ashworth has been keeping an eye on Rachel's progress. She's enthusiastic and that's the main thing. Every time I saw her around the spaces, she was grinning from ear to ear. Hello, come in. Grab yourself a seat. Cheers. So, end of the week in the ME department, how did it go? Oh, I loved it. I loved all of it. Definitely going for a brunch train? Yeah, 100%. I was thinking as well, after I've been a stoker for a couple of years, maybe go an officer as well. Okay. The world's your oyster. There's no reason why you shouldn't be a Chief Petty Officer in very short order. Excellent. Alright, thank you, ma'am. Alright, see you later. It's really good to know that as a woman, like me, trying to go into the branch, she's a woman in that branch. She's had to work really, really hard to get to where she is and I envy her for it and I really wish I could be the same. So, hopefully I'll get there someday. Lust is leading an international task group, including Spanish, French and American ships. And today, Billy May has invited the USS Cole's physical trainers over for circuit training to show them how the Brits do it. Billy's counterpart is Master Chief Reynolds. And like all things American, he's bigger. But will he be up to Billy May's circuits? This is Dan's chance to show off what he's learned. He's doing the warm-up section of today's workout. And to heap on the pressure, Lusty's captain Steve Chick is joining the class. I bark when orders are people that are up the chain, let's say. Due to the fact that I'm sort of, like, pretty much near the bottom, there's a little bit of sense of satisfaction in there for me. So, steady it down for a walk. Take your left arm across the body, right arm round the front. Stretch out the deloids. The big dip is over there. So, a bit weird for the skipper to be there two days in a row. He's always got plenty of time on his hands, but must have too much time in the day. With the class warmed up, it's Billy May's turn to notch it up again. Good, good, good, well done, boys. Let's go, go, go, go, go, go. Fair plays, fair plays, fair plays. Down, back, forward, straight. Apologies. Am I fitting in the chief? Come on, Dan, come on, Dan. Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down. Pick your teeth. Come on, son. Come on, all the way, all the way. And relax. I gave him a run for his money, like. I think he would say, not a chance. OK, stand by, last time through. Billy's determined to see how far he can push Dan. OK, stand by, go. Press up, incline. I'm dying. Come on, Dan, get on the bench. Good lad, Dan, good lad, Dan, keep working hard. Come on, Dan, don't give in. Don't give in, she's in tune, you're every one. Come on, don't be last, Dan, don't be last. Come on, son, come on, come on. Change, last exercise, last exercise before we move on. Leg raises, perfect. I've never stopped all day. Come on, Dan, come on, Dan. The crew of the USS Cole also get a taste of Billy's unique motivational skills. I want to hear you, I want to hear you. What am I? You can call me if you want, man. You can call me, feel free. Go on, call me. Yeah, yeah. Look at that, look at his face. Yeah, yeah, and again, and again. No one's spared, not even the captain. Have I been gentle on you? No. Good, keep it going, work out. Good, good, keep it going, work out, work out, work out. Last five, four, three, two, one, and relax. Stand up, water. So, what have the Yanks got to say for themselves? It's about the same as ours. They're different, but the intensity is about the same, both ways. Good workout. It was a killer. Saturday, day of rest. There's no days of rest for PEIs, 24-7-365. For now, it's back to the day job in the ops room for Dan. It's a lot cooler in here, but it's not really my cup of tea. Illustrious is home to six Merlin helicopters, designed for anti-submarine warfare. They're also equipped with a general purpose machine gun. Today, it's target practice. Steve Hayton is a senior observer. He joined 814 Squadron aboard Lusty two weeks ago. All the rest of the guys have all been qualified, and they've all gone through the training, so it's just really me catching them. The last time I shot was probably about three years ago. On the quarterdeck, it's the buffer's job to set the target up off the back of the ship. It's like a surfboard, it goes through the water, and as it's dragged through the water, it puts a plume of water up into the air, and we can then shoot at it. The Merlin circles Lusty, giving Steve a sight of the target before he blasts it. My aim this afternoon is to try and cut the cable on the flush target, which would really wind the ship up a treat. I wouldn't put money on them. Last year, we did three of these, and so far, there's not a single piece of damage actually to the target, so they're not that good at hitting it. The gun can fire off 750 rounds a minute, and it's used for air-to-sea combat against fast-moving enemy boats. The Merlin heads back to the ship with the splash target still attached. But did Steve manage to hit it? I have to say, I'm slightly disappointed. I was expecting, well, I was expecting at least one bullet, but no. That's sad, really. Life on the ship is a bit like boarding school. There are uniforms, rules and strict codes of conduct. Guard! Slow! Arms! Two, three! Sometimes, you just need to break free. And to keep the boredom at bay, the crew make their own entertainment. And number six, Lady Godiva. Here we go! Come on! Snog him! The Helicopter Squadron, better known as the Flying Tigers, have their own survival strategy when cabin fever sets in. To amuse themselves on the long deployments, the Tigers resort to playing tricks on one another. If he comes round the corner, now we're fucked. Isn't it hell to fucking blow up? You're filming, aren't you? Shh! Sorry. The practical jokes keep their spirits up. Duty officer. It's touching the roof. You little shitbags. Anything to stop themselves from thinking too much about home. It's really OK. Same old, same old, really. Can't wait to come home. But sometimes it's hard to block out what you've been missing. Weapons specialist Mo Morrison has been in the Navy since he was 16, but now he's got a wife and two kids. When you're a single lad on board a ship, you're loving it, really. You like going away and you're not bothered. When you have family and kids, you know, things change. So, you know, going away is a lot harder. After two months at sea, the men in Mo's mess share their feelings about their kids. I wasn't there when she came home one day and just started talking. And it's just things like that that you miss and you can't get that back. And feeling homesick more than most is Scotty. I miss my kids. I miss my wife so much. I miss them growing up. I miss everything, really. And my wife sent this out to us, as you can see on the back. It's what I've been away from her. It really is. We've all got wives, we've all got kids, so we know exactly how each other's basically feeling. You just try to get through each day, try to keep yourself busy so you don't think about it too much. Lusty's physical trainer, Billy May, and his apprentice, Dan, are off to visit the USS Cole. They're going over to run a fitness class. It'll be good for Dan because it takes him out of his comfort zone. It's a group of people who are not used to. So you'll have to motivate them in a different way where the American sailors won't know. So you'll have to work hard at that. The Cole's crew take their fitness seriously. First stop, the weights room. Billy's American counterpart, Master Chief Reynolds, shows the Brits what he's made of. 100% beefcake. 100 pounds by either dumbbell. It's 200 pounds, that's how much I weigh. I think they're a little bit too heavy for me. Good strength. But then again, I don't think he can run like me. Up on deck, the PT staff get the equipment out for Billy and Dan's class. The fucking kit's fucking amazing, mate. We are poor, fucking poor relatives. That store is like an Aladdin's cave. There are 300 sailors on Balder Cole, and half of them have turned up for the workout. You're doing 15 minutes of warm-up, and then the Master Chief is going to do his bit, and you're going to take part. Oh, mint. Right, well, we've got a fair series to start chugging on the spot. One forward, one back. He's doing very well, actually. He's probably the biggest class he'll ever take. I was talking to some of the guys at the back. They find it hard to understand his accent, but that's normal. If you watch some of his games, his Daniel Says games and stuff like that, he'll have a minute out of the palm of his hand. What we do is, Daniel says left hand, go down, touch your deck, back up. Daniel says right hand, touch your deck with your right hand. If I don't see a Daniel Says, and you do the exercise, you know what's coming. It'll be a few of these bad boys. You all got it? Well done. Daniel says left hand. Daniel says right hand. Daniel says both hands. There we go. Down we go. And bang on your toes. Daniel says 3, 2, 1. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Well done. Just steady there. I'll hand it over to the Master Chief. So, what did his mentor think? I thought it was the best I've seen him. All right? Good, mate. Back on Illustrious, Chaney and his lads are getting the Harrier jump jets prepped for bombing practice. Next time they do this, it'll be the real thing over Afghanistan. Oh, we love it. When we get the target, it's great. It's what we do. For me, it's 20 odd years worth of training, and now I'm allowed to do it for real. I have no qualms. Afghanistan's a war. It's as simple as that. I don't care what they say about it. We're out there killing people. Each one of those bombs represents a target taken out. Toby's done four tours of the region. The troops on the ground are generally put at ease a lot of the time when they hear us turn up. We work with all forces out there. We work with, you know, the whole coalition on the ground, and our role out there is to help the Taliban. Each tour lasts about three months. They're based at Kandahar until they get called to assist the troops on the front line, targeting the Taliban forces. Bolly is also going on bombing practice. He's been to Afghanistan six times. I'm not someone dedicated to just dropping bombs. That's definitely not my role in life. So, of course, there's moral issues there, but by using the rules of engagement, by talking to the guy on the ground, showing professional respect for each other, we get the job done. I'm not going to want to go to bed at night thinking, gosh, I wish I'd dropped that bomb at school. Does it ever bother me dropping bombs? Yes, it bothers us. Generally, the best way is to try and detach yourself from the actual things that you're doing and concentrate on the good parts of it, which is the fact that you're helping some of the people. That's how I do it personally. The Harriers are aiming for the splash target. Yesterday, the Merlin helicopters tried to hit it and missed. So the pressure's on for Bolle and Toby to get one up for the Harriers. These practice bombs are made of concrete and weigh the same as the real thing. Dumb bombs aren't guided weapons, so everything relies on the skill of the pilot. It's almost like World War II. You've got a bombsite. You put the bombsite over the target, press the release button and the bomb will come off. Bolle and Toby are practicing low-level attack. The bomb deploys a parachute to slow it down. In a real situation, this gives the jet time to escape the blast. I think I came the closest I got. I've had a 20-foot bomb away from it, so I was pretty pleased with that. But the Harriers didn't hit the target. Music to the ears of the Merlin boys. The Harriers have bombs this big, big anyway, and we have little tiny bullets. We got probably a couple of inches out, the Harriers 20 feet out. We've got lasers, satellites. Hold on, 20 feet. Eyeball. Next time on Warship, the Harriers go for vertical take-off, the Merlins play cat and mouse with a sub, and the crew get to see the golden sands of Goa, where the no-touching rule doesn't apply.