Selena Gomez opens up about battle with bipolar disorder | Nightline

Selena Gomez, actress, philanthropist, and pop star, with chart-topping hits like Lose You to Love Me. At just 13, the Texan landed a breakout role on the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place. Now 30, she's starring with legends Steve Martin and Martin Short. On Hulu's hit comedy, Only Murders in the Building. Despite her rise to fame and fortune, Selena had a secret. Selena Gomez was diagnosed with lupus, depression, and anxiety. She had a mental breakdown. No one cares about what you're doing. It's about who I am. Being okay with where I am. I am grateful to be alive. Alec Kashishian, who directed Madonna's revealing film Truth or Dare, now partnering with Selena in the new Apple TV Plus documentary, Selena Gomez, My Mind and Me. My mind and me. Shot over six turbulent years. But what good is having a song if I was too scared to sing it? Including a stay in a mental hospital. When I first got out, I didn't know how I'd cope with my diagnosis. What if it happened again? What if the next time I didn't come back? Her inner turmoil laid bare. She's the first to admit, you know, she's broken. What do you think motivated her to reveal all of this? I still think she feels discomfort about the level of vulnerability that she's given and exposing all these parts of her. But that is transcended by her, I think, deep desire to try to make a difference in someone else's life. She talks about that in the film where she says, sometimes I don't want to be famous. I don't want any of this stuff, but I know if I'm here, I have to use it for good. I spoke to Selena and her mother earlier this year after bravely sharing her diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I just found that it was really freeing to have the information. It made me really happy because I started to have a relationship with myself. And I think that's the best part. You say you now live with bipolar and you don't suffer from it as much anymore. How did you go about learning how to live with bipolar as opposed to suffering from it? Well, I do the necessary things. You know, I see a therapist. I have tons of workbooks like a nerd. I write music. I try to take what's going on and turn it into something beautiful in the best way that I can. She'd launched the multimedia company Wondermind along with her mother, Mandy Teffy, and business partner, Daniella Pearson. Its mission, to de-stigmatize mental health crises. I love the rare reminders that I've read about with your sticky notes. It can be quotes. It can be something that I need to validate my feelings with. Maybe something along the lines of, like, today you are enough. I'll put it visually somewhere and I'll keep it there until that's in my mind. How do I learn how to breathe my own breath again? Filming for My Mind and Me had to be stopped when Selena was hospitalized in 2018 following a nervous breakdown. Take us to what brought you back to filming. After she came out of the facility, I suddenly realized, wait a second, there's a really fascinating story. Because she is just out and in recovery herself. And the fact that she's still very much the patient. I needed to keep learning about it. I needed to take it day by day. In this exclusive clip given to ABC, Selena dealing with severe anxiety. Triggered by a flare up of lupus before her performance at the American Music Awards. I hadn't been on stage in over two years. And I still didn't know if I was ready. But what good is having a song if I was too scared to sing it? She's always had issues performing. And performing live. Her anxiety really flares up then. And that voice comes back that says, you suck. But it's all connected. The anxiety, the lupus, the live performance. And eyes being on her. You said she's brave. There's a fragility to her. But she can also soar. And she has that ability to really in moments surprise you by her power to kind of soar. Hi everyone, George Stephanopoulos here. Thanks for checking out the ABC News YouTube channel. If you'd like to get more videos, show highlights, and watch live event coverage, click on the right over here to subscribe to our channel. And don't forget to download the ABC News app for breaking news alerts. Thanks for watching.