What it's like to be Pregnant AGAIN + Gender Reveal!!!

so I thought I would give you a quick update on what pregnancy has been like the second time around it is so wildly different than the first that I wanted to share everything that's been going on and I want to give you the gender reveal okay so this is kind of a departure from my normal personal finance videos but obviously bringing a new baby into the world is very much related to your finances you have to pay for the doctor's visits pay for the birth pay for all of the baby things and so there are some differences that are going on with this pregnancy that was different than with my first and it has just been a roller coaster I was so sick I was so nauseous basically the first 18 19 weeks of pregnancy it was just non-stop feeling sick to my stomach extreme fatigue um getting sick a lot and I think the hardest thing about a second pregnancy is not so much the like physical exhaustion and the nausea that is hard but it's doing that and also being with your toddler that's the hard part about a second pregnancy is you still have to get up with them in the morning you still have to do their routines all of the things they need you constantly we have a three-year-old so she's constantly asking us for snacks for milk for us to play with her like all of the things that a normal toddler would do and then couple that with just being physically exhausted it's a lot for a second pregnancy and honestly I'm just like I I really just I'm done after this I don't know I see a lot of influencers and content creators who are on their third or fourth child and I'm like how how do you do that because it's just so physically demanding and I love the idea of having just my two kids and it just being a really cozy intimate style family so that's just my personal preference I could very well change my mind in a few years don't think I'm going to please let this video be a reminder that this is hard so the good news about this pregnancy is I can now feel the baby kick and I started to feel the baby kick around like 15 weeks but then more consistent and every day probably within like the last week and a half so about 18 19 weeks I was feeling baby kick every single day which was really really awesome that's probably my favorite part of this and then just going to the the Midwife appointments and we just had our ultrasound yesterday for our 20 week and so it was really cool to see the heart and the chambers of the heart and the brain and the spine and all of the different things that are developing so I think that's just the coolest part and when you hear the heartbeat like I just got back from a midwife appointment and she was like okay let's hear that heartbeat and it's just instant like there it is and you hear that sound and it's just like like there's new life happening right now I think I get so focused on my physical ailments and like just trying to feel better that you kind of forget that your body is also growing whole organs and spines and brains and eyes and just fingers it's so wild so okay so that's the great part about pregnancy is is just knowing all of that hearing that being able to feel baby kick the bad was obviously the nausea was just as bad if not worse than when it was with Quinn and then the ugly is on top of that once I finally started getting out of the nausea phase I was like oh I'm starting to feel better I'm waking up and not feeling sick to my stomach like I need to have a snack or something before I even get out of bed I started to develop some muscle and joint pain in the back of my pelvis it's located basically on the top right butt cheek and it started to really hurt especially when I would like try to get into a car and like swing your leg into a car or swinging your leg in and out of a chair even just walking was starting to feel achy and sitting in uncomfortable seats so I started to feel it it got worse and then I realized oh crap this is going to get bad so I made an appointment with a pelvic floor physical therapist I saw one in San Diego whom I loved so I found one here in Kansas City and after her assessment she realized that I have symphysis pubis dysfunction SPD SPD not STD okay SPD and what it is is basically the relaxing hormone that your body produces during pregnancy as the name says relaxes the muscles and joints around your pelvis to help make space for baby and help you know open up your your pelvis and your hips so when that happens your muscles and Joints kind of like get all out of whack and they're like oh nope so that one spot that one joint really just kind of clenched up on me and so now I'm having to go to physical therapy basically every week and now I'm kind of trying to figure out do I pivot and try to do maybe a chiropractor prenatal chiropractor appointment which I've never done anything with a chiropractor before so it's kind of make me nervous but I was referred to one by my cousin who specializes in the Webster method and with a prenatal patients essentially so I'm going to try to do that may try to get a massage this has been so debilitating because it makes it hard for me to keep up with Quinn it makes it hard for me to do normal things like yesterday Kyle and I went to Costco and I was trying to do a lap around the warehouse and I said yo you got to take it from here I'm going to have to wait for you up front because it was just that hard to walk now I did get from my physical therapist hopefully you can kind of see it um a belt a little velcro belt that goes around my my waist so that I it actually like pulls everything in and makes it really tight there's little elastic bands that you can make to tighten it and that has really helped unfortunately Kyle and I were planning on going to Spain to visit my sister and her fiance who live out there right now and I just thought there's no way I could survive you know an 8 plus hour flight to Madrid so I had to cancel that and it's probably for the best because of where we're at in life with pregnancy and this new house and trying to get settled here but it was really really disappointing for me because I love to travel I love international travel I think it's it's one of the things that fuels me and so canceling that was a really big bummer okay let's talk about the birth plan because if you remember from my first with Quinn I actually gave birth in a birthing center that was connected to a hospital and I had a really really great experience this time around I wanted to go with the true Standalone birthing center I found the one and only in Kansas Kansas you guys this state is kind of messed up with with birthing centers the birthing center announced that they were closing in September due to not being able to get same reimbursements from health insurance companies that hospitals do and so it was a huge disappointment to hear that this birthing center would no longer be and they're basically like hey we can give you a list of providers that we recommend and so I actually saw on that list of providers was one of the providers that my physical therapist was telling me about and she said this is a midwife Obi Duo they actually do their deliveries in a hospital but they're not part of the hospital they're not staffed or employed by the hospital so they have their own practice they just use their labor and delivery rooms and so I said that could be interesting so now I'm pivoting this actually happened with my with Quinn I was with an Obie and then she got let go and so then I pivoted to a midwife and I was like oh I should have been with a midwife this entire time and now I started with a midwife and I'm pivoting to an OB and a midwife it's just been kind of a wild ride I had a lot of grief over that news and then I told myself like this still can be a really wonderful birth experience because because these providers came recommended from my birthing center so that's really helpful and my physical therapist who had twins natur vaginally and I was like okay yes I love that if you were still able to have twins cuz I feel like a lot of times those who are pregnant with twins are just like forced to have C-sections and I'm not about that so I am hopeful I have not met with this OB or Midwife yet but I am hopeful that things will be able to shape up and move and a direction that makes me feel supported and helps baby feel supported let's talk about what we've spent on baby so far during this pregnancy so we just had our ultrasound they called it a high-risk ultrasound it's basically like just more measurements they do a lot of work around looking at the heart and all the chambers and stuff this was recommended to me by my birthing center because my birthing center does not actually have an ultrasound machine so they basically farm that out when to the ultrasound that was $200 I also bought a breast pump from aeroflow breast pumps.com highly highly recommend aeroflow breast pumps.com depending on your health insurance you plug in that insurance information they're going to tell you exactly how much your insurance is going to be applied towards a breast pump I had a $150 that could be applied towards a breast pump so essentially you could get one for free if you find one for $150 or less or you can go ahead and upgrade your breast pump get the $150 off and then you pay the difference that's exactly what I did I paid the difference and upgraded to the willow go so this is a wearable portable breast pump that just fits into your bra there are no wires and literally walk around all around your house you can take a walk outside and be pumping at the same time because my breastfeeding Journey was so disappointing with Quinn and not being able to do that my pumping Journey was also cut short I think it was like three months total that I pumped and then I stopped because my mental health was taking a toll this time around I'm well more equipped on not only just what I want to do for breastfeeding and being able to Pivot knowing that I'll need to Pivot in case baby can't latch I'm also really prioritizing my mental health and talking to my primary care provider and saying hey I had postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression with my first I don't want to miss the newborn phase again what can we do to make sure that I am prepared and I can get access to the medication that I need and so we've already talked about that we have a plan in place for that and I'm feeling very confident that if I feel those symptoms again and I 100% know what those symptoms feel like now that I can immediately start my medication and not worry about you know all of the other things that make me anxious kind of got off on a tangent there from the bre pump but that's what I'm thinking I'm also taking an online course called boob school I love this name boob school who doesn't like boobs like let's talk about breastfeeding and boobs so it's been really eye openening because a lot of the stuff taught in this course I did not learn from my lactation consultant or the previous uh nurses or OB midwives that I had been working with during my pregnancy with Quinn I'm learning a lot if you guys are interested if you're like ooh that does sound like I'm pregnant or about to be I want to learn more about breastfeeding I highly suggest you check out that course I'll link to it in the description box I also had to pay for some doctor's visits $500 on that that included Urgent Care primary care and the birth center urgent care was kind of crazy because at the beginning of my pregnancy around 7 weeks I had what I'm calling a panic attack that lasted all day it very much reminded me of my symptoms of postpartum anxiety I've never had panic attacks before prior to giving birth never had any kind of like yes anxiety stress for sure but never had that racing heart racing thoughts can't shut my mind off can't sleep and it actually occurred during 7 weeks of pregnancy and I was like I need I need attention right now and so I ended up getting a prescription for Promethazine which is a anti-h histamine actually but it helped with my nausea and it helped me sleep and somehow the combination of those two things really just helped calm me down so I could sleep better also I have a fabulous childhood friend who is a pharmacist brilliant mind who's also a new mom and I was able to talk to her about all of this one of my coaching clients is a nurse practitioner who knew exactly what to do and I was like I'm coaching you now you have to coach me which I love that relationship with all my coach clients um it well not all of them but the her specific was like being able to have that relationship with your clients to be able to say hey this is an area that I'm struggling with and let's let's talk about it um so I had medication prescriptions that filled around $30 okay so that's all the craziness that has been happening in the last half first half of pregnancy by the way I should probably show you my bump and then let's get to the gender reveal okay okay this is a 20 we and 1 day bump it um it is definitely bumping it's going to get twice as big but you probably want to know if it's a boy or a girl so let's find out uhoh what do we think I think it's girl we I think it's girl I think it's unanimous I think everyone thinks it's a girl I think it's a girl what you at you think it's a girl now well I said that earlier this this morning okay are you good with closing your eyes now yeah okay take your sunglasses off okay so we all close our eyes all you open your eyes really okay okay you want to take a bite or you want to cut it cuz she's got to cut open the cupcake okay take it nice here help me or you want to break it with your hands get in there cut it ready okay now we're going to tell everyone what the color is what color is that [Applause] pink we knew it didn't we we knew it is it it's a little sister Quin little sister it's you're going to be the big sister a and you wanted a girl right yes you did you wanted a girl yes y yay congratulations I'm so excited pick out names don't forget to like this video if you want to see more pregnancy updates from me on the channel and subscribe if you want to be part of the dfm family we are committed to helping you Achieve Financial confidence Crush debt at least more fund and fewer payments and I'll catch you in the next one bye [Music]