Let's be Honest. You Just Hate Autistic Traits.

so sometimes I react to this subreddit called fake disorder cringe come and cringe at the people faking disorders for attention and clout basically about 300,000 random citizens of the internet congregate to call out neurod Divergent people who they believe in their unprofessional opinion are faking being neurod Divergent we're going to have a look at some of the posts about autism on fake disorder cringe today and the first post we have is titled self diagnosed autistic thinks if you're social awkward then you're autistic and one of the most upvoted comments here says being self-involved doesn't make you autistic so they've shared someone's Tik Tok here SS I should have known I was autistic before the rip age of 38 I was in my 30s when I realized that when someone asks you what are you doing this weekend the polite thing to do is answer them and then ask them what are you doing this weekend I always just answered the question cuz that's what they asked so I answered them and then I would sit there awkwardly not knowing what to say next you return the question that's a social Norm oh my gosh yes I have said many times on this channel that I was in my late teens when I learned how to socialize and I discovered a great way to have a successful interaction was to ask people questions people tend to love being asked questions about themselves they love it when you remember things about them and you ask follow-up questions the next time you see them and I learned that I was more comfortable with doing that because it took the attention of me because when you're an autistic person who masks so covers up their autistic traits in order to fit in better you find yourself not wanting to share too much about yourself not wanting to go too deep because then the other person might discover something that they find weird but I don't socialize so much now I work from home and I find when I go out into the real world my social skills are definitely Rusty CU sometimes somebody does ask me a question and I don't reciprocate and then later on when I get home I'm like oh my gosh when they asked me if I was going on holiday this summer they probably expected me to return that question and I didn't and I bet that seemed super super rude I think it's just that for autistic people's social situations can be super super unpredict ictable and stressful if somebody asks you something you might be so focused on giving the perfect answer that you simply forget to return the question anyway I have no idea why such a relatable Tik Tok has found itself on fig to sort of cringe so let's read what the person posted alongside the Tik Tok this is a stereotype of autism that is very disrespectful to those who have the disorder and cause some people not to want to be socially connected to those with the disorder personally I do not feel disrespected by this Tik Tok and are we accusing autistic people of reinforcing stereotypes by sharing their lived experience now am I reinforcing stereotypes by showing clips of myself flapping my hands as a child should I stop doing that I mean hopefully if people who are not autistic see Tik toks like this they might be understanding if their autistic friends and family members don't always think to say and how about you in conversation if they don't always think to return the question they might take it less personally it's literally right there in the DSM 5 you must have certain what they call social deficits in order to meet the diagnostic criteria and the very first one right at the top is deficits in social emotional reciprocity ranging for example from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation to reduced sharing of interests emotions or affect to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions the medicalized way of saying exactly what she just said so what I get from this post is this subreddit is saying she's both falsely claiming that she's autistic because they've mentioned that she's self diagnosed which on fake disorder cringe means we don't actually believe that you're autistic but then she's reinforcing stereotypes when she actually does meet the diagnostic criteria so she can't win they go on to say yes autism can mean that you struggle to understand some social cues but that doesn't mean that if you struggle to understand some social cues then you are autistic did she say anywhere that it does I think she was just sharing her lived experience also at the same time it doesn't mean that if someone understands social cues better they don't have the disorder again I don't think she said that and I don't think that was what she was trying to imply here yes autistic people can learn social cues and they can learn to mask which is also acknowledged in the dsm5 diagnostic criteria but unfortunately the word masking makes it on to fake disorder cringes fake a lingo page so I guess we're actually not allowed to acknowledge the fact that some autistic people can learn social rules in order to fit in people with Autism don't want to be socially awkward and especially don't want to be seen as socially awkward so they teach themselves by socializing with friends reading watching videos and in any other way they can to socialize better yes some autistic people can mask not everybody is super good at it even with masking there are studies that suggest autistic people are still judged more negatively by the people around them and also when did she say anything about wanting to be socially awkward people seem to mistake being open about your struggles with glamorizing or glorifying them she's not saying that she wants to be socially awkward she's saying that she is and you know probably sharing it hoping that other people will find it relatable maybe she can connect with other people who feel the same way autism isn't all about how good you are at socializing which is true but it is in the diagnostic criteria you do have to have as I said social deficits perceived social deficits in order to be diagnosed if someone with autism learns how to socialize in a way that makes them just as good as the average person doesn't mean that they are cured of autism which is the type of thinking that this stereotype creates I'm so confused what are they saying here when did she say she was cured is it the fact that she's saying that she learned skills and got better at socializing is that their problem but then this person literally said within their post that autistic people can teach themselves to be better at socializing didn't they let's go to the comments with 60 up votes being self-involved doesn't mean you're autistic and it's so funny how often people on this subreddit by attempting to call out fakers actually end up just bullying autistic people for being autistic just regurgitating insults and criticisms that autistic people are so used to hearing because of our difficulties with this re reciprocity and with socializing autistic people are often called selfish but when here in this Tik Tok did she say that she doesn't care about other people that she doesn't care about their weekend she just said in the moment and in the moment of socializing is a very stressful moment for many autistic people she doesn't think to return the question someone replied and said did the person in the video say so and then devil Rude Boy Asbergers said she very heavily implied it did she did she imply that being self-involved means autistic we know nothing about her she could donate all of her income to charity for all we know all she's told us is that she's struggled to go through the socially accepted motions of small talk throughout her life it can be lovely you know to feel like somebody cares enough to ask about your weekend I completely understand that but I don't necessarily think it makes somebody a horrible person if they don't always remember that that's a social rule anyway I found this Creator Tik Tok account she's called meta Mama I'll leave a linked down below apologies that you ended up on fake disorder cring okay I found a post that's about that neuros spicy song A Tik Tok singer created this song that offended some autistic people the lyrics of the song went I might be a little spicy a little bit neuros spicy isn't everyone a little bit spicy spicy is better than Bland and neuros spicy is a word that's frequently used to describe being autistic and of course a lot of autistic people are met with the whole but isn't everybody a little autistic thing which often feels very dismissive anyway I somehow managed to make a whole 24 minute video discussing this song and the word Naros spicy in general so I'll leave that link I won't go through all of that again here but let's see what fake disorder cringe has to say about it could this be the first time that I actually agree with the fake the sort of cringe so Reddit what will happen if that's the case will the World Stop spinning we'll take a look in a second but first of all wild has kindly agreed to partner with me while I dismantle the Reddit misinformation today wild is a vegan crueltyfree refillable deodorant brand I have been using them for 18 months now wild is known for offering limited edition deodorant cases that are so lovely you'll want to keep them forever and this summer they have this beautiful blue and white limited edition jungle case when they said they were bringing out a jungle case I did not imagine it being like this elegant and sophisticated it's so cute and it has little animals on it when you look closely and I've gone jungle themed to match it we got the jungle earrings going on wild cases are made from aluminium you order these little refills for them that come in compostable packaging so it's a great way to reduce your single use plastic for some they have a limited edition scent tropical Jungle which of course pairs up perfectly with the jungle case it also smells super sophisticated with notes of leather and fern but they have loads of other scents available and they often have limited edition scents so you can change it up to keep it fresh or you can even go with unscented if you don't like fragrances their refills contain a mix of Butters including sheer butter so they're also very moisturizing which is nice and wild is also doing lip Farms too which I'm super excited about they have this ombre case for summer which makes me think of sunsets applying lip balm is kind of a SIM for me I do it so many times throughout the day while I'm sitting there editing so it's great to have a refillable one now wild ships worldwide so you can order from them wherever you are they also have a flexible subscription option so if you like you can have your refills delivered to you without having to think about it if you'd like to give it a try or maybe get the jungle case while it's available you can get 20% off if you use my code Meg 2024 you can click the link in the description or use the QR code on screen the discount applies to any products on the wild website but for a limited time only so the next post neuros spicy by Jax the song is meant to be a cute song but it is just infantilizing and dumbing down autism it gives such a bad portrayal of it and is extremely distasteful trying to make it seem like a cute and quirky personality trait and to that I say why can't autistic people be cute and quirky do you not think we're cute and quirky I'm offended so the song and I won't play it here because it will get stuck in your head but it's super easy to find online if you want to it does definitely have a cutesy Vibe it's got a ukulele going on it's quite a repetitive tune has slight you know nursery rhyme sort of Vibes I would say I discussed it in my video at length but I don't think Jack intended to infantilize autistic people I think she just wanted the song to be happy she wanted to make a happy song about how we're all different and it was maybe just a bit dated I'm not sure if she even knows that the word neuros spicy is connected to the autistic Community particularly I don't think she used to ukulele because she thinks autistic people are children she was singing about herself being neuros spicy within the song so who knows maybe she's on a journey of self-discovery and didn't realize that the line isn't everybody a little bit spicy might be offensive SL upsetting to neurod Divergent people because of course if everybody was neurod Divergent then nobody would be not everybody can diverge from the norm that wouldn't make any sense and if everybody were truly autistic then the world would probably be a lot more comfortable for autistic people than it is a lot of autistic people did feel like this song was trivializing their struggles as this post says trying to make it seem like a cute and quirky personality trait I do think there's a tendency and I particularly see this on t Tok for both autistic and non-autistic people to push back against anything that shows being autistic and being neurod Divergent in a positive light to call it glamorizing or glorifying or infantilizing or trivializing or to say a person is faking because they look too happy basically your struggles are not real they're not valid you smiled and you laughed not autistic I do think we are allowed to have fun I know autism is technically labeled as a disorder and of course we do struggle there are lots of horrible statistics sticks that you can find but we are allowed to smile and oh my goodness even be proud of ourselves and who we are who would have thought it anyway let's see what the rest of the comments on fake disorder cringe have to say about the song and the word neuros spicy in general so someone has taken a screenshot of a YouTube comment that says I diagnose myself on Tik Tok song I saw this quite a lot when I was researching for the video people saying that using the word neuros spicy suggests that somebody is self diagnosed or faking being autistic which of course is not logical anyone can use a word it doesn't tell you anything anything about their neurotype maybe they just move in different online circles to you yeah I like to use spicy neurotypicals for self-diagnosed pseudo science lers and I think it's an apt term here except from the fact that the word neuros spicy actually comes from autistic people as I discussed in that video it stems from the fact that people often say mild autism to dismiss somebody's struggles oh you must have it mildly and then the comeback is to say no actually I'm neuros spicy I have spicy autism I am diagnosed autistic I started a Discord server getting close to a year ago now and since the beginning the memes channel has been called neuros spicy memes I was going to change it following the video about the song but I think the general consensus now has been that it's almost more funny particularly with it being you know a silly memes channel to kind of continue using it ironically it's just not that deep I suppose it's a stupid word it's supposed to be a stupid word someone said I hate the word neuros spicy it sounds so stupid just said that and then another person replied thank you it's not a Doritos flavor would you eat neuros spicy Doritos I probably would I think the only vegan ones are the spicy ones in this country what are they called I haven't had them for so long chilly Heatwave can't we have in jokes I hate the fact that sometimes there's this implication that the only way that we can be taken seriously as truly disabled is to be miserable that doesn't seem like moving towards autism acceptance to me that just makes me kind of sad and maybe this is a reaction to the fact that so many autistic people feel completely UNS supported maybe we feel like we need to hammer home the fact that no we really do need help we really do need more support than we're getting right now and I understand that but is it greedy of me to think that maybe we can ask for both accommodations for very real struggles but then also allowed to laugh surely both of those things can kind of help us move towards the same goal which I think is better quality of life for autistic people maybe having dumb slightly ironic self-deprecating jokes can be part of that so I'd still have preferred it if Jax didn't use the word neros spicy in her song the way that she did but I wouldn't hold anything against an autistic person who wants to call themselves a Doritos flavor it's your disability you're allowed to have a sense of humor about it okay so F I'm safe I don't agree with fake disorder cringe the world will keep on spinning it's fine I don't know why I'm relieved I'd prefer it if I did agree with them because that would probably mean they were being less ableist but you know the next post is the dangers of self- diagnosis are you ready so they've written this explains some of the issues with self diagnosis even better than than I could and the long-term effects of fakers SL self diagnosis and there's another Tik Tok I can't breathe um I'm having an asthma attack I need my inhaler my God I am so asthmatic I completely get how you feel I always get so out of breath when I'm running and like even walking upstairs sometimes it's crazy I'm so as I I really need my inhaler oh no you don't need that I always find that if I just calm down a bit I can catch my breath um just try doing that you don't normally need an inhaler face call an ambulance call an ambulance um I think that's a bit extreme I have heaps of friends with asthma um some of them are like fully diagnosed and it's not that serious everyone's a little bit asmatic I'm the paramedic someone's having a medical emergency she's on the floor and blue now but she's having an asthma attack and needs an inhaler oh everyone thinks they have that these days real asthma is rare okay so we're not calling out a specific autistic person with this post we instead sharing this Tik Tok as more of a meme targeted at people who do self diagnose the thing is I feel like this would be more of an appropriate response to people who say things like isn't everybody a little bit Autistic or everybody thinks they're autistic these days which are not the same people who are self- diagnosing this is better aimed at the people who don't believe autistic people when they say they're autistic and this happens to people who are diagnosed you medically diagnosed all the time I'm sure I get probably at least one comment every day telling me I'm not truly autistic if you were going to apply this whole Asma thing to what has actually been happening with autism it would be more like we've lived in a world where people have always had asthma and have always suffered serious consequences like asthma attacks however only some people have been believed because the profile of somebody who truly has asthma has been a white affluent male who likes science or who has an intellectual disability and anyone who presents with the same symptoms but doesn't fit with the stereotype is either labeled hysterical and locked away in an institution or just has to struggle through life getting really really out of breath constantly maybe not being able to keep a job because it's so draining for them to get through the day without this inhaler that they so desperately do need and getting into really dangerous situations because they don't have medication plus they have to deal with everyone around them telling them that their symptoms are not real then of course you can breathe fine there's loads of air it's everywhere you just need to try harder but slowly we're starting to realize that we were wrong people other than straight white affluent males who like trains also can have asthma too and that actually there are even more white straight affluent males who like trains who have also been missed who also have asthma just a lot more people have asthma than we ever believed I'm still talking about autism when I say asthma here maybe about half of the people in the UK with asthma have historically gone undiagnosed maybe a lot of them have been misdiagnosed with having panic attacks when they've actually had asthma all along up until now and now we can finally tell these people that it's not all in their heads that they have actually been struggling all along they have had asthma their whole lives since the very beginning since we started researching autism the number of people diagnosed has been increasing we know more about it now and people can also connect via the Internet which makes it easier for people to identify traits in themselves too someone commented and said I feel like a self diagnosed asmatic would wear an inhaler on a necklace and then someone also said that they would tell you as soon as you shook their hand so trying to say that if someone is autistic they'll tell you immediately that they're autistic feels like another version of that whole like huh how do you you know if someone's vegan huh they'll tell you straight away in the first 30 seconds whatever it's a tired old joke that we've heard a million times I've been vegan for how long a lot of years too many years makes me feel old 14 years I've heard that many many times why do vegans often tell you that they're vegan because eating is quite an important part of life and if you're spending the day with somebody food is probably going to come up at some point we tend to eat numerous times a day a vegan is probably going to tell you that they're vegan because they might need to tell you that they can't eat certain things or they might need you to kind of accommodate their dietry requirements you know it can be quite important why do people tell you that they're autistic because they might want you to know that that is why they might appear socially different that is why they might make mistakes that's why their eye contact might not be amazing all of the time because when people don't know that you're autistic they can call your names they can think that you're weird or they can just get a bit of a strange vibe from you they can't put their finger on what's different about you so sometimes they just go with hm this person just seems a bit off I'm just not going to talk to them whereas if you know someone's IC some of how they behave might make more sense to you and also again you might be able to accommodate them I can assure this person who left this comment that they probably interacted with way more autistic people who haven't told them that they're autistic who haven't disclosed their diagnosis than autistic people who have there is a lot of autistic people out there and what if somebody wearing that inhaler necklace what if that was life-saving what if it helped the people around them to realized that they were someone who uses an inhaler who requires their inhaler and then if they were in a difficult situation ation they could look in their bag and find said inhaler and save their life does it not make sense that autistic people might want you to know that they're autistic what's the point in getting the diagnosis otherwise and it's sad that people share attitudes like this because it makes it difficult for autistic people to advocate for themselves I feel nervous about saying it to people because I don't want people to think that I've you know just latched onto a trend it's worse for me because I have a social media following and I think it probably makes it seem even more like that in some people's eyes so It's Tricky but I need to be able to tell people because sometimes I'm going to need to advocate for myself and also with this whole necklace thing being autistic is different to having asthma it's your brain it's how your brain works how your mind works how you think it's much more connected to your identity much more entrenched in who you are so you might be proud of it particularly when you've gone your whole life without having answers and now you finally have them plus what is in the diagnostic criteria intense interest becoming very fixated on things does it not make sense that autistic people might become fixated on the fact that they're autistic and want to learn like everything that they can about it particularly after a lifetime feeling different from everyone else again it feels like we're just making fun of people for having autistic traits and autistic trait is talking a lot about things that you love about things that you're interested in Sharing potentially oversharing about things and not being able to tell that the people around you are not interested in it that could include talking about the fact that you're autistic and often autistic people don't care so much about fashion and we like to wear things that are connected to our interests again are we just made making fun of people for having autistic traits yes I think we are someone also mocked the sunflower ganard here they said honor sunflower lanyard with a thumbs up so the inhaler would be on a sunflower lanyard the sunflower lanyard is used to Signal invisible disabilities in general so are we just saying that we don't think invisible disabilities exist I can't remember the stats off the top of my head but aren't a crazy percentage of disabilities invisible my husband works in healthcare he often works with people people who are very sick and you cannot tell he says that's one of the main things he's learned on his job is that somebody can be sat across from you they can look you know normal like any person you'd walk past in the street you read their notes and you realize they're really not not in good health at all they're not doing well at all that's been pretty eye opening for him like you never know what is going on in somebody's life wearing the sunflower lanyard can be super helpful it can mean that you can access accommodations you don't have to disclose your disability you just wear it and at airports and things like that people should you know allow to board early and things like that without requiring you to prove your diagnosis or have to disclose what it is and talk about it at length which is great what are they going to mock next are they going to say wheelchair users are just attention seeking to be honest probably some of these people would I found the actual Tik Tok over on Tik Tok and someone has commented please get me a diagnosis then you're paying you're getting me therapy you're getting my parents consent do it because yes again if you're applying the autism thing to asthma then loads of people are having asthma attacks every day but they're having to sit on a 5-year waiting list to receive health care or getting an inhaler would cost them $2,000 but their parents refus to pay for it because asthma wasn't a thing back in my day or because most of the time you seem like you breathe fine maybe this isn't the perfect metaphor because autism isn't inherently life-threatening although the stats for life expectancy of autistic people are pretty damn concerning and unfortunately undiagnosed autistic people do tend to really suffer with their mental health and can be at a greater risk of unal living them eles so I don't know maybe it isn't such a bad metaphor of course autism is a spectrum not everybody struggles equally I don't think many autistic people would say that that was the case some people absolutely do need more support and find it more difficult than others to slot into society that is very true but it's not a competition doesn't need to be a competition we don't usually say that somebody doesn't deserve to be diagnosed with a particular health condition because somebody else out there has it Wass and now we have autism is when rainbow butterfly and this one has been tagged as insulting insensitive and it's a screenshot of a Tik Tok that says makeup looks inspired by mental disorders part five apparently so this is an Autism inspired makeup look and it's a rainbow butterfly it's really cool it's really pretty there's me not being able to get my eyeliner looking the same two days in a row can't even get them equal and then people can do things like this why does it represent autism I suppose there's the rainbow infinity neurodiversity symbol and then the ADHD is in the ADHD symbol is actually a rainbow butterfly I think it's because the neurodiversity rainbow infinity symbol is so often used as a symbol for autism they kind of wanted a separate ADHD symbol so we've gone with rainbow butterfly instead so maybe this would be better as an ADHD makeup look I don't know oh yeah somebody mentioned that here and then someone replied asking why does that represent ADHD and then the response is because we're gay and fluttery I love it someone said something that I appreciate on fake disorder cringe whatever it is I think it's pretty cool I do wish that autism wasn't referred to as a mental dis order here neurodevelopmental condition would have been more preferable and more accurate autism is in the diagnostic manual for mental disorders but it is a neurodevelopmental condition hey a lot of people are actually agreeing with me in the comments this time what they're saying that it isn't offensive and also that autism isn't a mental disorder so that's cool the fact that the person who made this used that language makes me think maybe they're not autistic themselves and it was part fire as well I don't know I'll go have a look for the actual video in a minute there are some commenters here who feel like this is insulting and insensitive this is such a toned deaf theme for makeup looks you wouldn't create makeup looks for different types of trauma don't do makeup inspired by things people really struggle with and can't control cannot control the autism guys it is out of our control it is running free running wild certainly does feel like that when you have executive function difficulties someone else said I hate this trend so much like what is this other than glamorizing and I touched on this a bit in my video about our influences glamorizing autism why can't a pretty makeup look represent autism it's reminiscent of the rainbow infinity symbol the rainbow butterfly it has different colors you know maybe representing the Spectrum all the different ways that autistic people can present maybe a butterfly is a good metaphor for unmasking you know we go in our cocoon and then we come out finally free to be ourselves after all these years of being the sad little caterpillar I don't know kind of feels like you're getting into aist territory when you say something that's you know visually pleasing or something with positive connotations it's not appropriate you know to associate that with autism it's like there are some people who believe that autism has to be repulsive or concerning or saddening and like maybe we can get away with it being inspiring but we can't find it pretty you know and is that because something being pretty is usually associated with good and positive things and you don't think that implies to autism and to autistic people I just think we don't have to be seen as undesirable in order to be worthy of support and in order to acknowledge that it's a disability you know maybe they want a puzzle piece makeup look instead I don't know hey look this one person did actually say that like that would have been way better than a butterfly please know we already have the puzzle piece police card the puzzle piece cement mixer the puzzle piece temporary tattoo we've been through and off on this channel already we don't need a full face of puzzle pieces someone else said it's like that cm movie about the autistic chick who lives in Rainbow music world I did recently watch music myself and I've made a full video talking about the movie and the controversy and how things have developed since then because SRA has come out and said she's been diagnosed autistic herself so that kind of created a bit of a plot twist in all fairness all of the characters seem to have this inner rainbow world not just music I wouldn't recommend that movie for the reasons that I outlined within the video anyway it doesn't actually seem like this Tik Tok Creator is an autistic person themselves they just seem to make makeup looks inspired by different mental health and different neurodevelopmental conditions I feel like the bipolar and the BPD ones are actually a little bit scary I don't know if any of you find those offensive I don't know I'm sure they are intended to be sort of unsettling I'm not diagnosed with either of those things maybe if you are you feel like that's a good representation of how it feels from the inside I don't know you'll have to let me know what you think of these and I'd also be interested to know how you would do an Autism inspired makeup look what would it look like like maybe we would have rainbows maybe we'd have a lot of glitter but I feel like we'd have to stay away from primary colors so it doesn't feel super inv vandalizing maybe a snail to match my little patreon Community mascot a yellow snail if anyone out there is great at doing makeup looks so not me feel free to do a yellow snail to represent the ASC the Ed to Social Club thank you so speaking of patreon thank you so much to my patrons for supporting me I've had quite a turbulent few months so I appreciate it but it's been great to be able to make these videos it's a great distraction and I'm having a great time and I have lots more things I want to make both for the main Channel and things that I'm in the process of making to go up on the patreon when you do join you can join the Discord server so you can chat to other autistic people and post your neuros spicy memes if you so wish and sometimes I'll react to the neuros spicy memes on the main Channel we also have this question of the day thing which is really fun but I'm always really rubbish at answering them everyone has great answers and I'm just like uh um I just sit there thinking for half the day and then it's gone and there's a new question yeah it's a really really lovely Community if you just joined the lowest here which is for us a month then you can chat to us you don't have to be diagnosed autistic and I also post exclusive videos on there I've got all sorts I've got loads and loads of them I also do podcast episodes and post outtakes of me being stupid going on stupid rumbles and things like that and if you want to see me reacting to more fake disorder cringe posts then I have another couple of videos where I react to them on this channel I'll leave the last one that I did linked on screen and remember if you were in the market for some new deodorant if you use the code Meg 2024 you can get 20% off anything on the wild website and you also support the channel a little when you do that as well and you can also get the jungle case or get one of their other lovely cases or grab some lip balm and they also do shower gels as well thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in my next video very very soon bye [Music] he [Music] n [Music] oh