American Chili

My habaneros are finally ripe for the picking. This little guy's been growing at its own pace, slowly for four months, and now it's finally ready. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. It's time to make American chili. When I first got this chili plant, the obvious question was what to make with the inevitable chilies. The answer was equally obvious. What better dish to make other than a dish that contains the ingredient in the name itself? And with all great ideas, there were problems. One key ingredient causes gas. Google agrees. Our stomachs might disagree with the chilies. Making a new dish for the first time was going to take a longer time than usual. The solution to all our problems was simple. The chili had to be made during the holidays. Since the chili plant wasn't cooperating and did not give me any ripe chilies until after the holidays had ended, we had to settle for the weekend instead. Specifically, a Saturday to give us enough time to recover from any side effects. Since I have no American friends, I had to settle for Google. And the recipe seemed pretty simple. Dice and fry up some onions. I'm assuming onions taste mostly the same everywhere. Cook your minced beef. And while that's cooking, open up your kidney beans and set aside your grain. Throw in your cumin. The recipe calls for two tablespoons, but I don't follow any rules. I measure that with my heart. Add salt. Add pepper. Your basic elements of life. Garlic paste. Because I'm too lazy to cut up my own garlic. I think cutting garlic smells worse than cutting the cheese. Add beef stock and bring it to a simmer. Scoop out the excess fat. This is what makes it more Australian than American. And of course, the most important part of all, the name of the dish in question, the chilies. Then add your one can of tomato, two, or three of them. Add three cans of tomatoes. The kidney beans should be nice and drained now. Add them. Mix it all up and let it simmer for 25 minutes. Time to eat the chili. It can't be that spicy. Thank goodness it's a weekend.