I Told Her Not to, but She Did It Anyway

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today today's question comes from Robert in Minnesota he says last year against the wishes of her mother and I my 18-year-old daughter signed a lease with an apartment complex she committed to one year but she never moved into the apartment fast forward a year later and now she's getting calls from a collection agency to pay back around 9,000 for unpaid rent she is currently going to college has no asset and no income my wife and I are not willing to help her pay for this but I'm trying to help her navigate her options any advice oh my goodness I'm wondering why she never moved into it number one uh here's the thing she owes the money like she signed a lease she owes the money the best you could try to do is maybe try to settle it for less but she's going to have to pay this money back she signed and said that she would commit to pay a certain amount of rent they don't know or care whether or not she moved in or not but because she occupied on paper that space that's $99,000 of rent that that owner lost out on so she owes it and if you're her mom and dad I feel like Dave you can ring it on this this is what where my brain goes she's got some options number one man I don't know Dave I don't know if I would pay it for her I no I would not but I mean like even like to help her because it's only going to get no it's only going to get more she's 18 she gets a job get a job and pay it $9,000 I mean come on you can do it it's a lot of money it's not a lot of money I mean just go go Uber your little 18-year-old butt off seriously door Dash yourself until you can't walk come on really 9,000 bucks go go clean it up baby doll now help her navigate it uh that depends on how obstinate and rebellious this girl is she obviously was obstinate and rebellious when she went against your wishes is that what you called it yeah your wishes he said wishes you and your you and your wife said don't do this this is stupid so she lined up and signed up for stupid and now she's got $9,000 of stupid and now if she's like Dad I really screwed up and she's repentant right would you help me with this yes I'll help you here's what you're going to do you're going to work you're going to uh you're going to scoop dog poop you're going to walk dogs you're going to clip dogs hair you're going to babysit kids you're going to do door Dash You're going to work all the time you're not going to have a social life because you signed up for stupid and you get to cover it and you can clean this up in oh let's just say $1,000 a month would be N9 months $2,000 a month would be 4 and a half $3,000 a month would be three months so I think you should do it in about three months kiddo oh man I wonder why she never moved in like did she not realize that when she signed other thing she's currently going to college and who's paying for that that's a qu that's the question and is this kid still in this I don't know with the attitude of the kid because here's the thing I don't help people who are continuing down the same path I don't even coach them true that okay and especi because it's not an act of love it's an act of helicoptering writing checks is an act of helicoptering and you know helicopters did you know helicopters create snowflakes that's where they come from that's that's good Dave but here's what I'm wondering if here's what happened what if she was like Mom Dad I'm moving into an apartment and they're like we don't want you to do that she's 18 what if she doesn't realize like hey if you sign the lease like that's legally binding and so she was like oh my mom and dad don't want me to move in this apartment what what she does realize is her mom and dad love her and they're smarter than she is unless you're a rebellious little twit and then you go sign the thing anyway and you get to pay the stinking $9,000 that because you're a rebellious little twit and so you get to do it I mean guess what you know how know this cuz I was her I was the rebellious rebellious Twi I've done everything stupid Under the Sun that can be done so I recognize these attitudes the question is for me and what we don't have the information we don't have here is the state her current state of yes repentance repentance meaning I realized I was wrong I'm sorry for that I goofed up would you help me Absolutely I'll help you yeah I'm not going to pay it but I'll absolutely coach you and show you and give you hope and I'll even talk to the people with you and stand beside you so they don't beat up a little 18-year-old kid anymore uh but if she's to like well I you know I didn't know what I know shut up you get to do the whole thing on your own then all right you just get to wallow out there and you're stupid if you're going if you're going to still be a twit right but repentant is different you follow me I yes I am I mean that that CUA she's going to learn this lesson if she's already learned the lesson and only has to pay the bill that's the easy path if she hasn't already learned the lesson it's going to get painful before this is done oh man and man let her experience that pain at 18 otherwise she's 38 years old and thinks that the world owes her a living after she got her degree in left-handed puppetry and she's a bista listen Dave you and I saw this on two different sides because you went straight to rebellious little twit which you you owned that and I'm looking at this here here's what I'm looking at when I was 18 here's how dumb I was but you were sweet I did all right when I was 18 I was dumb enough to think okay I got student loans for school and you know if there's leftover they give it back to you called a refund right they call it a refund it's not really a refund you just borrowed too much money but I took that money and I thought that I was buying a car in cash and I bought a car quote in cash with my student loan that's how dumb I was that's why I'm looking at this 18-year-old and I'm like did was anybody looking at you that you that loved you and said don't do that no what no because when I told them I said I saved up this money well no I'm sorry but if if they had realized what you were doing told you not to do that they probably would have stopped me yeah if they told you not to do it and you went and did it anyway that's then you're set that's where we're sitting here they said don't do this right but she may not have known that when she signed that lease she was locked in Come On Dave think back 60 years no it's yeah I'm or 50 years 50 thank you but yeah is doesn't matter a lot of decades it doesn't matter no I was already running businesses by then so no I I knew what da you were smarter than the average bear man I'm I'm talking about these but the but hey mom and dad looked at you and said don't do this it's a dumb idea that's enough that's true that's enough that's when you do full stop that's when you do full stop and if you don't then you get to eat $9,000 worth of stupid so um I'm not saying she's currently rebellious I'm saying at that moment she was this wasn't a sweet little interaction it was against our wishes both he and his wife looked at their little daughter and said don't do this dumb don't do this and she said I'm doing it anyway oh man that's funny I don't I think she was like okay I won't do it and didn't know cuz if she was a rebellious twit she would have moved in realized after two months she couldn't paid the rent and then left but I'm like she never moved in this is a mystery this is Unsolved Mysteries it's so fun you get to be the daughter and I get to be the dad that's the funny thing you're you're going to take up for the poor little kid just hammering her my dad would have been like you're on your own now you know what now you know how Rachel was raised okay I'm just saying now we know this is how you create a Rachel Cruz right here okay oh my gosh open phones at 8825 5225 yeah the trick is lovingly guide grown children and when they're 18 they can legally enter into a contract and if they choose not to take your loving guidance then you are under no obligation to fix their mistakes as a matter of fact you would be making another mistake called enabling helicoptering to go and fix their mistakes regardless of the person's attitude so now I will always come along someone who admits that they made an error and says I but now will you help me I'm always got a lot of Mercy cuz I've been that guy too true that true that I need Grace I need lots of Grace and and so I don't mind extending Grace but I'm not going to extend Grace that says oh that was actually very smart when it wasn't to the extent they don't learn the lesson right because it's not it's not helpful I get that they don't they they don't you know if you don't if you don't learn the lesson you get to do it again if you flunk the test you get to do it again that is true that is true then you just cycle stupid just dog chasing its tail name stupid I mean you just cycle it create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life