Insomnia Update And Sleep Deprived Ramblings

all right so this is um going to be entry 11 I think my video Journal it is September 16th and um this is kind of an update to my last video uh that I titled insomnia um now I did actually manage to sleep last night but I think that's only because I did actually give in and finally smoke some weed so I could actually sleep there's been four days without sleep and um I was starting to shut down like uh if you ever gone that long without sleep which I never had before that's really rough so um yeah I finally last night just smoked some weed and then I'd managed to get like six hours of sleep so that was definitely uh that definitely helped I I'm still feeling pretty like groggy and out of it today just because I mean four days of no sleep and then six hours of sleep that's not gonna quite cut it but it's definitely better than nothing and um yeah as far as the other side effects go from the The Zoloft my uh I did end up taking my dose I had gone up to 50 and that's what triggered my insomnia um and I did go back down to 25 now so yeah yesterday yeah yesterday I took 25 that was the first day back down to 25. and um yeah it's uh I think I'm gonna try staying at 25 for a while because I was looking at other people's like reports like their experiences with Zoloft and a lot of them were saying that um like they just take 25 a day and have been doing so for years and a lot of people were saying that so I'm thinking I maybe don't need to go up because my doctor had when I originally originally was on Zoloft my doctor uh like is pretty much just ramping me up as much as possible I'm not sure why because when I was on 50 I went like I had an appointment with him and I told him I feel fine and they said okay cool we're gonna bump you up to a hundred and double your dose and um I was just kind of like like whatever like you're the expert like I'll just take your word for it and yeah I went very poorly so um yeah I'm gonna see if maybe I can just stay at 25. and just keep tabs on how my anxiety goes um yeah it's it's kind of hard to gauge how my anxiety is right now just because uh how sleep deprived I am still it's not going to be accurate if I am feeling anxious now it could easily just be from the sleep deprivation so um I'm not sure my lighting is so bad I was trying to set up better lighting before this recording but that's just not good I just want to somehow get my quality a little bit better in these videos but um yeah definitely feeling better than I was my thoughts are still a little bit like all over the place and like not like racing but just like it's like hard to focus on anything so yeah I'm not sure what that is from either the medication or the sleep deprivation or a combination of both most likely and the lighting seems to be best right back here so I'll just stay here um yeah other side effects uh the main issue I was having other than the Sleep uh insomnia was um like really bad acid reflux like my stomach just always felt like it was on fire and it was just constantly like gurgling and just making terrible noises and just like burning um that went away yesterday yesterday was the first day where I didn't have that which is oddly enough also the same day I smoked weed to help me sleep so I'm not sure if that fixed the acid reflux or something because I also today I feel fine as well and I haven't smoked any weed today so yeah hopefully that stays away especially now since I'm going back down to 25. now I did feel a little bit of anxiety earlier today maybe about an hour ago I um there's an old friend of mine that I've messaged like a couple weeks ago I hadn't talked to her in years and I uh messaged her a few weeks ago and uh I completely forgot that I had messenger because all this was going on and then I checked my messages finally today after a couple weeks and saw that she had replied and um just because I hadn't talked to her in so long I guess I did start to feel like oh some waves of like anxiety coming up um but uh yeah I just went and quickly like worked out a little bit and like paste around kinda and the anxiety went away you're working out definitely helps like if I feel anxiety coming up and I just I have like some dumbbells sitting right there I'll just grab them and just start just pumping some iron and it um it definitely helps like it's almost instant anxiety relief which is very odd how that works I do actually vaguely remember hearing once why that is yeah I forget now why that is but there is a reason for it and it is it is a thing it's getting kind of warm take my hoodie off but um yeah I didn't make any notes for this video so I don't really have much to specific to talk about I kind of wanted to give a general update as to where I'm at um yeah I'm feeling not too bad I still not feeling 100 that's for sure my uh my energy is still very low I'm still feeling really like groggy and out of it and another thing that I noticed is after I went up to 50 milligrams uh my jaw started clenching like when you like if you've ever done like any kind of like stimulants or anything they tend to make your jaw like like clench up a lot and you grind your teeth and stuff and when I went up to 50 milligrams my jaw started doing that and my jaw's been clenching for yeah like yeah three four days now and the whole side of my face like up to my turn my temples up here all the way down to cheekbones here and then down into my jaw like this whatever these jaw muscles are in the back here it all just hurts like nothing I do like I've taken some I took a leave before the leave is like the only painkiller I take and um it's like one of the least harmful for your like liver and stuff and uh yeah I took some Aleve and it isn't doesn't seem to be doing anything it's just keeping the headaches away because when that so much tension like in the side of my face from clenching my jaw so much it wants to give me headaches so um yeah at least I'm not getting headaches but it still just hurts I'm hoping that goes away now that I went back down to 25. and I'm there's a lot of red and black going on here I'm noticing my chair my uh shirt and in case you're wondering yes this is just a pillow that I duct tape to the back of my gaming chair because um when I bought this gaming chair it said that it came with a pillow that you're like they normally come with like a pillow with like elastic strap to put here and it just didn't it just never came like it wasn't in the Box so um I just took matters into my own hands and taped a pillow to my chair and then I also use this memory foam pillow you can see it's like curved to like shape to my back because it's memory foam so it like holds its shape and uh yeah I use that for like lumbar support on my back because gaming chairs are about the worst possible chair for your back and your entire body really um in height like I I've bought this thing many many years ago this is an old chair this is actually my original chair that I had I think I bought this thing when I was like 19 or 20. so yeah it's like a six seven year old chair um in hindsight I would never get a gaming chair again I would get a like a proper office chair like an expensive one with like adjustable lumbar support and all that um good a cheap office chair will ruin your life like you can you can do a lot of damage to yourself like permanently with a bad chair so yeah get a good chair that's I don't even know why I went into that tangent or how I got there yeah this video really doesn't have a point I just kind of wanted to ramble for a bit I guess I do have a a bit of a project I've been working on that I'm going to be uploading to my Channel at some point in the future it's going to take a little while it depends how much work I want to put into it but it's probably gonna end up taking a little bit and it's completely unrelated to anything mental health or um like funny compilation there's nothing to do with that it's like a bit of a more serious uh it's not really a serious serious it's about like I found these things on Google Earth many years ago now is probably like eight or nine years ago I was just going around Google Earth looking for like uh hiking trails and like good hiking spots and camping spots and stuff like that I got like some crap in my throat and um yeah I was on Google Earth looking at all this and I started finding all these Lakes all around the Prairies like in um it's mostly in Saskatchewan and Manitoba but the it goes all the way down again to North Dakota South Dakota over into uh Minnesota and then uh yeah and it's like a band it stretches all the way from uh I'm gonna have to do this like mirrored here all the way from British Columbia up here down at an angle across Saskatchewan across Southern Manitoba and then down into North Dakota down to South Dakota and then over into um um Minnesota as well and the they're like these they're these lakes that have these islands in them that are all the same size they're all 160 feet long by 90 feet wide they're all the exact same size and shape actually not all there's a few odd there's thousands of these things and um there's a few that are like really really big uh some like but those ones are typically much farther north there's one site I found in like Northern Manitoba like up uh it's kind of up kind of level by Thompson if you know where that is um it's way up there and yeah that one has a one of these things that's like 700 feet long it's a huge uh clearly man-made Island in a lake or kind of like in a marsh most of them are either in like full-on lakes or just kind of like swampy areas because every all the ones that I'm assuming because what I think these things are some kind of Native American um like man-made Islands or something because they did used to do that uh at least like some of the Native American tribes uh used to make these artificial Islands I'm not exactly sure what the purpose was of them I don't know if anyone really knows but um yeah I found just I mapped out like I used to have a Google Earth save I had thousands of these things mapped out I'd spent years just like cataloging all these sites and I'd go out to them physically like in in real life like in person and uh I have a canoe so I'd go out onto these lakes and like canoe out to these islands and check them out and um yeah they're very clearly man-made the islands are um they're made up of like the build they have like a build up of like rocks about this size and um yeah it's just a whole bunch of like softball sized rocks that make up the base of these islands then on top they've had a bunch of like soil added on top to like um I don't know why to make it habitable I guess I'm not sure but um yeah each one is big enough for like a small family maybe to live on 160 feet by 90 feet that's almost like a like a lot in a town like it's kind of almost the size of like my yard so yeah maybe they were something like that I don't know they're clearly man-made structures there are thousands of them all across the prairies and I have found absolutely zero documentation of the existence of these things actually that's not true there's one YouTube video I found I believe the video was called megalithic structures of Canada or something like along those lines and um yeah search that video if you're interested in the subject megalithic structures of Canada and you you scroll down to the comments you'll see that I have commented a fair amount in the video and um yeah I explained in the comments there that I I had all these things cataloged in my um in my Google Earth like save file and my hard drive uh just typed it to commit Sudoku and so my hard drive just completely fried and I lost all my everything including my Google Earth save so yeah now that was a couple years ago and now I'm finally started to remap out these things this morning I spent about two hours mapping some of these things out and um yeah I got maybe not individual Islands but like entire sites because um it locked me like a cluster of small lakes and each Lake will have like a few of these islands in them or it'll be like one big lake and the lake has like or like a big swampy area and then they'll be like 50 of these islands spread out throughout this like Marsh or this big lake and um it's never in deep water so if it's like a big lake it'll only be around the edges that kind of thing so yeah at some point I'm once I finish mapping these things out or at least get a good chunk of it done I do want to make a video on it and just put it out there and maybe if people because I know how insane it was driving me that I couldn't find any information other than that one mention in one YouTube video about these islands and um because they are very bizarre if I knew how to work OBS better I would screen share right now and show you guys on my Google Earth but um yeah I don't know if I really know how to do that but I can maybe see hopefully I don't screw everything up here okay if I do this no that doesn't seem to be working hmm why isn't this working I thought all I'd do is click on the window capture thing and then it would show up my show my monitor huh that's kind of odd why are you not working well maybe I'll mess around with this later that's gonna bother me now though yeah later I'll figure that out but yeah if you guys have any kind of interest in that like archeology and like like kind of ancient history kind of stuff um yeah maybe just drop a comment in the comment section if you want to see these things and um I'll know that people actually would maybe watch the video if um if I put it out there because it's completely unrelated to anything else on my channel so I don't know if my my audience would um would really care about these things but yeah I'll put it out there anyway just for other people like me that they can find it at least yeah I don't know what else to really talk about in this one nothing else has really changed talked about my meds and side effects and insomnia and all that oh yeah I think for the insomnia I think I'll try to to stay awake all day today and like not nap and then uh see if I can sleep tonight with no weed because I do not want to like for me wheat is a very very slippery slope I'm either like I've never successfully been able to casually smoke weed I'm either not smoking weed at all or I smoke weed all day every day like for me there's no in between it's kind of it's the same with anything for me like drinking like I can't really casually drink either I drink like at Christmas usually that's the only time I like let myself really drink because if I buy my own booze and have it at my house I will drink every single day like I just don't have the self-control when it comes to like intoxicating substances I just I can't help myself so um even since even since I smoked weed yesterday I've had several like Cravings already today to smoke more weed and um let's keep having like I put my weed downstairs like so I have to like go and walk all the way over there and that gives me time to to talk myself out of it on the walk over there so um yeah it's just like anyone that tells you weed isn't addictive they're full of [ __ ] like it's clearly very addictive and um but anything that just dumps dopamine into your brain is going to be addictive so I don't know how people can even say it's not they just clearly don't know what they're talking about or their denial so um yeah don't smoke weed if you don't smoke weed now if you are going to be very careful to not just get hooked on it and become maybe also my addiction is so strong to it because I have been smoking it daily from such a young age like I I started smoking weed when I was 15 and did it pretty much every day since then I'm 26 now so yeah weed's not great I mean it has its uses just like last night I used it to be able to sleep for the first time really in four days so that that's a genuine use for it or like if you're really struggling with appetite or something you could have a little bit of weed and it's going to help your appetite uh pain relief that kind of thing although it only helps a certain kind of pain a lot of people tell themselves they're smoking weed for like their pain but it's just like it's but they're still always complaining about the pain so they always still have it it's like they're just telling themselves that they need the weed for the pain even though it clearly doesn't help like um for a year like I have like nerve damage in my for my neck going down into my shoulder here and um like pretty bad nerve damage and for years I had just excruciating pain to the point where I was becoming like um I think I can say this because my Channel's not monetized anyway um you have to be careful on YouTube like what words you say because the algorithm will pick it up and then the video will just get nuked but um I become almost like suicidal because I was in such chronic severe pain just all the time I guess that's what chronic means but I was just in excruciating pain 24 7. and um yeah I'd become like suicidal from it and um I was just like relying like I thought I was relying on a weed to help the pain because I thought it was helping but the the weed wasn't helping at all and I thought it was so like I convinced myself in my head that the weed was helping the pain but it wasn't what did finally fix my shoulder or not fix it but to make the pain stop was when I went on keto for like two years and I completely cut sugar out of my diet my uh my lifelong like excruciating nerve pain that always felt like somebody was like hammering like a red hot Spike into my shoulder like right uh right in the side right here it was just like and it felt like someone was just like ramming up just a red hot like nail or something into my shoulder and finally when I quit eating sugar within two weeks pain was gone and it's come back a couple times since then but never like not nearly to the same degree so yeah if you're having like crazy pain in your body somewhere that's like chronic there's a pretty good chance that it's inflammation related and in my experience the best way to reduce inflammation is to cut sugar out of your diet and Quorum for whatever reason maybe I have some kind of like autoimmune thing but but corn for me if I eat like a bag of Doritos or something like my shoulder will flare up again so yeah just like if you're if you are experiencing some kind of chronic health issue it could very easily be diet related um because I went and saw all kinds of Specialists like including this guy that stuck these like electrodes like in my nerves in different places and he'd like run like different amounts of like voltage through my nerves and um he could then tell like where the damage was like I I was going to that level to try to get this fixed that nothing ever helped um I even did acupuncture for like a year straight to uh which cost a fortune by the way um yeah I did acupuncture for like a year straight because apparently that's supposed to help with nerve damage it made it not only did it not help it made it significantly worse like in a permanent way so like they were obviously just doing damage to my nerves and then telling me that oh no it'll get better it'll get better and they're just trying to milk you for money the whole time so yeah acupuncture is a scam at least for nerve damage um weed probably isn't really helping with your pain as much as you think it is yeah try dieting try doing keto or something or some kind of just very restrictive diet where you're eating just very minimal types of food like very basic food that pretty much everyone can eat and process well like like red meat um pork can be a little iffy I know for me if I eat a lot of pork it screws up my my digestive system pretty bad but um yeah red meat just basic vegetables broccoli spinach like dark dark green vegetables and if you switch to like that potatoes and like that kind of stuff if you switch to like those very basic foods for like a month well hey you're going to be eating healthy you'll feel better just from that not eating all this processed crap you're actually eating Whole Foods and um yeah then you can if your chronic health issues start to go away then it's pretty safe to assume that it was something in your diet that was causing your issues and then once your issues are are more or less resolved then you can start adding Foods back into your diet um slowly like add like one food a week and add like um I don't know let's say you really liked eating unless you had cut bread out of your diet for a whole month because you thought it might be like a gluten thing and you cut gluten out of your diet add gluten back for a week and see if your problems come back they might they might or they might not and then you know that that is what was causing or at least a part a part of what was causing your issues so yeah that's that's um what's that called again I think an Elimination Diet I believe is what that's called essentially what I did with Keto but I just did it in the form of Keto and I used that as my my like base of my Elimination Diet just because I wanted to try it and yeah yeah that's I've pretty much talked about like a million random different subjects here you can probably tell my brain is kind of all over the place today like it usually is in these videos but um yeah I was originally going to be about Justine insomnia there's gonna be like a five minute video but that didn't happen yeah hopefully I can sleep tonight I'll maybe try going for like a long walk or something Tire myself out a bit and um yeah maybe that'll help and also going back down to 25 milligrams I think will um will help a lot with the side effects but yeah I think that's gonna work so I can't even talk I'm like so I'm still super out of it um yeah I don't think I had early anything else to talk about so I reckon that is where I'm going to yeah that's where I'm going to end the video all right this has been recording 11 it is September 16th 2023 and uh yeah I'll see you in the next one