Comment parler de la mort aux enfants - La Maison des maternelles #LMDM

A subject that is not easy to address, Marie, but it's part of life, so we have to talk about it. Exactly, and above all, there are two rules concerning the fact of talking about death to our children. First one, children always imagine worse than the truth, hence the need for us to be true and to be fair in the words we will use. Second thing, children always have the impression that whatever happens, it's their fault, hence the need to answer their questions well. Obviously, for all of this, youth literature is here. Look, I made you a little recap. Why is it so difficult for us parents to talk about death to our children? Well, maybe because it's a subject that all of us are anxious about, young and old. So, there are two moments in life when we are going to talk about death, either in a rather natural way, because the child, sometimes around 2-3 years old, starts to ask questions. What is it like to be dead? Or because, unfortunately, you are living a family mourning and you want to accompany your child. And yes, even if it's painful, we have to use the right words. We avoid expressions such as, he went up to the sky, he disappeared, he fell asleep for a long sleep. Why? Well, because these expressions can lead to confusion and cause things that are not very funny, such as, your child will never want to sleep again. So, we have to speak the truth, not ask questions, but answer them honestly. During a mourning period, our child needs to understand that our sadness is legitimate, and above all, that he is not responsible for it. So, we adults have to learn to show our sadness, our feelings, so that our children then welcome these emotions, tame them and live with them. Even if you have beliefs, it seems important to me, in this speech on death, not to impose it on your children. Why not just tell them that, well no, well no, we don't really know what happens after death, but that, in some beliefs, there is this or that. It will then be up to them to make their choice. So, my last piece of advice will be to consult the youth literature on this subject. Why? Well, because there are really a lot of books on death that are worth reading, that accompany, that have the right words. So, if you are unfortunately living in mourning, I invite you to go to a bookshop or a library to get as close as possible to what you are living. If it's the loss of a grandparent or a parent, the illness of a brother or a sister, you will be able to find the book that corresponds to your needs. As for me, I have selected books that talk about death in general, to accompany the questions that children will naturally ask themselves. To talk about death when I was very young, I really liked this book. Why? Well, because it's a very colorful documentary, built a little bit in the form of a comic, with questions, answers and all the themes addressed. Obviously, for children, never hurt, never anxious. In short, to read quietly, in fact. Here is a book that I particularly appreciate for young people. It is soft, it is poetic. The child, the hero of this story, does not want to be dead, because it sucks, because it's cold. And his mother, in the way of a dialogue, will bring him back to life, will bring him back to joy, will bring him back to good times, so that he can enjoy the present moment. Then, a book, a story that you will love, and which shows a rather unexpected face of death. This death comes to a 99-year-old old lady, completely deaf, who does not understand at all that it is death, who invites her to come in and who is going to torment her. A very poetic story, quite funny, very tender, that you will love a lot. And this book, which is beautiful, is more for children from the age of 10. It will take up the different funeral rites, according to cultures and civilizations. And you will realize that talking about death, living with death, makes us much happier and much more alive. A lot of very important things in this tutorial, Marie, really to remember. Did you say a very important introduction too, especially given the current context? Tell them the truth, because they will always imagine worse. That's really a leitmotiv. Yes, exactly, and you always have to keep that in mind. So, to accompany adults, precisely, in this process of dialogue with the child, I picked up a little book that my life assistant will present to you, Benjamin. These are 50 keys by Nadege Petrel to accompany children in the face of the fear of death. So, in this book, we will really find a lot of tools. Maybe how to make a collection corner at home after a mourning, how we will be able to talk to a child, including a brother or a sister or a loved one who is sick, also in the face of suicide, how we will react. There are a lot of files, you will be able to draw according to your particular case. It is very, very well done. There are also a lot of bibliographic resources inside. And I wanted to point out the existence too. Thank you, Benjamin. You are perfect. With pleasure. I have nothing to say. With pleasure. A little smile, maybe. Yes, I saw the subject. Yes, thank you. Yes, precisely, precisely. You have to keep life among us. So, I wanted to finish with a notebook for slightly older children, published by an association called Empreinte, which has proposed a notebook for children who know how to write. So, you can also fill it in with him. It is a notebook that is very, very well done, because it will address the emotions, the experience, how others will react around them, the memories, etc. So, it is really a book that we can order on the association's website to put in the hands of our oldest children. Guillaume Aldebert, how do you do in the current context, to talk a little bit about what is happening? Do you tend to say things in advance, to wait for their questions? No, at home it is really transparent. The children talk about it themselves, and in a very frontal way. So, we answer their questions. Yes, of course. That's great, when we manage to free up the speech, and to make them go before. That's great. Marie, thank you very much. Yes, thank you. Kisses to Guillaume, whom I did not see. Yes, yes, yes. He had to come on Wednesday, when you would be there, in a wheelchair. What did you want me to say? Thank you very much, Marie.