Why Dating In 2023 Is Like The NBA

Dating in 2023 is like being an NBA player. Allow us to explain, and hopefully this video can possibly help you. Yeah, I mean, online dating advice is trending really hard in 2023. Andrew, just take a look at some of these posts from Reddit. How to balance simping versus maintaining attraction in a relationship. This guy's talking about, is he texting too much? Is he texting too little? This other guy said, I'm depressed after trying everything that looks max. Being an Asian male is a huge handicap, even after trying everything to improve my physical appearance. Yeah, so we wanna point out the huge flaw in asking the internet for dating advice and why it is very similar to asking for basketball skill advice on the internet. Yeah, that's like basically saying, hey guys, you don't know anything about me, but should I incorporate more crossovers into my game? I don't know, maybe, but maybe not. So anyways, guys, we're gonna break down this analogy. Hang with us. Hopefully you find it useful. Please hit that like button and check out other episodes of the Hot Pop Boys. But one thing that doesn't need much explanation is Small Ass Sauce. Check it out on our Instagram at smallasssauce. There's a lot of great content, a lot of great foodies and chefs have tried it. They love it. You can still order it now. Why do you think so many people go to Reddit for dating advice? Is it because they might not have anybody knowledgeable in their circle who's willing to analyze their situation and give them a man-to-man talk, right? Sometimes it is hard to find someone that you can ask personal questions about. I think you do have to be very vulnerable when you're asking dating advice. Sometimes you're sharing your flaws. Sometimes you're sharing your inner fears. And it's a lot easier to type it out on the internet for anonymous people to rate and give you advice on than it is to me ask you personally and sit you down and be like, hey, David, I really need some dating advice and this is gonna be very scary. I'm gonna be very vulnerable right now. But I'm gonna tell you why it's not that effective because you know what I mean? Like you- Because oftentimes, what? People leave out a lot of baseline information, right? Because the internet doesn't know who you are. That's the biggest part, guys. The internet does not know what you look like, how tall are you, how good looking are you, what's your physique like? They don't know where you live. They don't know the environment, the city demographics. They don't know if you have money or a good job. Do you have any money, any means, income at all? What's your living situation? Right, because that impacts what? Yeah. A lot of flexibility. Are you weird, awkward, or mentally unstable? Are you neurodivergent? The internet doesn't know you, right? Are you a creep? We don't know you, so it's hard to like, like if you're- You give off weird vibes or something. Yeah, you give off weird vibes, that's gonna hurt you no matter what you look like. And then, what are your dating goals and expectations? Because that also changes. Are you looking for a long-term girlfriend? Do you just wanna date around and have fun? Do you wanna date Asian ABGs? Or do you wanna date non-Asian women? You know what I mean? Like, who knows? Yeah, I mean, I compare dating a lot to basketball and specifically like trying to be in the NBA, but just basketball in general. Because if you ask for generalized basketball advice, without a lot of in-game footage of somebody playing five-on-five, as well as seeing individual workouts, so you could kind of see like everybody's tendencies and nuances, how can you realistically give anybody any basketball advice? No, that's- Like Reddit is one of the worst places to ask for basketball advice on your game. That's like saying, hey guys, I need help with my shooting form. And then everybody's like, okay, well, what do you shoot like? Can you send us a video? And then you're like, okay, here's a video of me shooting. And then they're like, okay, well, I would adjust this about your elbow. You need to use your legs more, load them up. And then you're like, hey, based off this video, can you tell me how to be a better point guard? And then everybody's like, what are you talking about? This is two different questions. I have no idea how to help you. We don't know what competition you're playing against. If you're playing one-on-one, three-on-three, five-on-five with set plays and all these schemes. Yeah, anyways, guys. So David, let's delve more into this analogy because a lot of Asian guys out there do like basketball or just men in general, because men in general want a lot of dating advice. It's not just Asian guys. It's a very generalized basketball to dating advice analogy. So if you understand basketball, this is gonna make a lot of sense to you. There's three components to a basketball player. And there's three components that sort of like determine sort of, I guess, your immediate stats when it comes to dating, right? You are- Your appeal and attraction. Yeah, your immediate appeal, right? It's in basketball, it's height and athleticism is number one, right? And then number two is your general skill sets, pass, shoot, dribble. And number three is your schematic IQ. And how much can you understand like the rotations and the coverages that are happening in real time, constantly shifting on the court. The mental stuff, the intangible. So for example, if we were to carry that over to dating, Andrew, I would say that the height and athleticism would almost be like possibly your race and your height. These things are kind of out of your control, just like height and athleticism in the NBA. You could work on it, but it's kind of out of your control, right? Some of it is genetic. Number two, Andrew, would be like your skill set, shoot, pass, dribble, right? That could be just like generally how good looking did you build yourself? Whether you're taking care of your body fat percentage or your clothing or your haircuts and things like that, right? And last but not least, I would say is a schematic IQ, which in the dating world would be like game. That would be what that one guy was referring to on Reddit where he's like, yo, am I texting too many times? Did she text me three times? Do I need to text her two times to build the desire for my texts or to keep myself in a small availability? That's like an IQ read. No, that's like saying, hey guys, my basketball IQ is really high. Can I make it to the NBA? And then someone's like, well, what's your other statistics? Right, can you shoot, pass, dribble? How tall are you? What's your durability like? Have you strengthened your joints? There's a lot that goes into it. Are you injury prone? So here's the thing. One thing that I noticed a lot of people look at, Andrew, is they look at their tall, good looking friend that might be like white or hopper or something like that, right? And they're like, man, they're not funny, but they always have a cute girlfriend. You have to understand, there are certain guys in your friend group that are just naturally genetically very tall, good looking, maybe they're hopper, they're half white. So they have a lot of appeal to a lot of different women. Andrew, these guys, he doesn't have to have a lot of game or skills to still be in the NBA. Your friend might be like a JaVale McGee, a DeAndre Jordan, Jackson Hayes, Shaden Sharp, Jericho Sims. These guys are in the NBA for the most part. I'm not saying they can't play at all because they had to beat out some other guys, but these guys are mostly in the NBA because they're seven foot and can jump out of the gym. And they will, would you agree with me, Andrew? These guys, they might not ever be all-stars, but they will always have a job in the NBA. Or they will always have a job playing basketball. Even if they fall out of the NBA, some overseas team will pick them up. So they will be able to get opportunities. It does not mean they're all-stars and it doesn't mean that it's easy to become an all-star, but they will have opportunities. Right, but the skills are not there to ever become an all-star. Unlike this next group of guys, Andrew, these guys, they give you 40, 50 points a game. They're always in the talk of like first team all-NBA. Andrew, we're talking about guys like Paolo Bencaro, Zion, Giannis, Kawhi, LeBron. These guys have incredible body and height, but they're also incredibly skilled. And I would say at least above average IQ. Obviously, when you're talking about a LeBron or somebody, his IQ was like 10 out of 10. Right, I mean, these guys are generally to be all-stars, right? Shy, Jiltrus, Alexander, like these guys are long, can shoot, can dribble, can play defense. They almost have like every advantage and they're good at everything. But here's the truth, Andrew. Most guys, we are, especially, let's just say this. Let's be real, Andrew. A high bulk distribution of Asian guys. I'll put myself in this category for sure. Andrew, we're going to be short and not that athletic, but possibly keep our job in the NBA and potentially even have a good NBA career. I mean, it's going to be hard to have a dominant NBA career at all. But to be honest, we can still be in the NBA if we're highly skilled. We're talking about Chris Pauly, six foot tall, Peyton Pritchard, six foot tall, Fred Van Fleet. These guys, when you immediately look at them, you're like, there's no way this guy should be getting 30, 40, 50 in a game, right? But they figured it out because they're such beasts at everything else. Even though their initial height and athleticism, AKA their raw looks, is not there. Yeah, I mean, Earl Boykins was in the NBA, he was 5'5". Nate Robinson, supremely athletic, he was 5'8". Yeah, like I feel like I would be like TJ McConnell. You know, I'm not having a dominant career at all, but like, I'm using my IQ, man, I'm in there. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, for sure. And I think however you slice up those attributes, basically, if you look at dating that way, then you kind of know what you need to work on. And it's never to say you don't have a chance because there's six footers in the league, there's five, eight guys. Some, yeah, they're usually pretty quick, but they don't have to jump out of the gym. There's some six foot, Peyton Pritchard's like a 6'1", white guy. 6'1", white guy. And he's not that athletic. And he's a good player though. Yes. And Fred Van Fleet was an all-star, he won a championship on the Toronto Raptor. Max Contract. JJ Barea. Married Miss, some hot beautiful woman, whatever. And then he's only 5'9", he's a champion. So I'm saying- Jose Alvarado, 5'11". There are still short guys in the league, but yes, for them to have long success over multiple years, they have to be highly skilled and understand the game. And this is where understanding dating and understanding yourself and understanding your goals, understanding what you have to offer women and offer the other person comes into play. For example, this next post, Andrew, where the guy was like, man, I'm so depressed after trying to Lux Max, I'm still not getting any women. This guy was like about 5'11". Here's a photo of him. But this guy, I would compare him in the NBA to like a Stanley Johnson, where it's like, yeah, on paper, Stanley Johnson was like, man, he can match up with LeBron. He looks like LeBron when he stands next to LeBron. But all the other skillsets and possibly some neurotypical, neurodivergent, sort of like possibly not all there mentally, there's guys with above average bodies that are not in the NBA and can't stick in the league. Like Stanley Johnson, because he's just not good enough at all the other aspects you need to be good at to be in the NBA. Here's another layer to the analogy, David, why being good at dating is like being an NBA player, because it also depends on where you're at, which team you're on. Not all teams and organizations are the same. The Warriors, an amazing organization, but they're very picky about the players that they bring onto their team. Same with the Spurs, right? Same with the Spurs, particular system. Not all players will thrive on every team. There are players who would still be in the league if they didn't spend several years on a team that did not help develop them. That was the wrong city for them. Maybe that city was too distracting. They should have been in a small market city so they could develop their skills. Situation matters a lot. And this is where I'm saying, when it comes to dating advice, we don't know where you live. We don't know what city you're in. We don't know your means or your ability to travel or move or what your job is. Do you have means to spend money on things, buy clothes, get haircuts, take dates out? We don't know. But lucky enough, Andrew, we're not NBA players where we have to be traded to a more favorable city. You can just up and move. Right, it's kind of like being an NBA player, but you actually, you're like a free agent, sort of. Right, right. So you can sign on to any team you want. Now, there's different teams that will give you, that will care about you more than others, but let's say you could sign on to any team in the NBA. You get to choose your organization. And I wish that dating was a little bit more like being an NBA player in this aspect where, you know, like NBA players, they almost always have agents. And those agents are always on the phones with scouts and different coaches, getting different opinions, being like, oh, okay, I think this guy could be good in the dunker position. He can rim run, blah, blah, blah. But the thing is, obviously guys, you don't really have, most, a lot of guys, especially Asian guys, especially Chinese guys, they don't have anybody in their corner acting like their agent. They can give them their essentially proposed market value, estimated market value, where they think they could fit, where are they gonna be a role player here? What's their usage rate? What's their contract length? Do we need a team option, a player option? Those all are real details. You can like transfer them over to dating. Like, oh my goodness, am I chasing, like, I'm not an ABB, but I love ABG women. That would be like me loving, wanting to be a scorer, but the team that I just signed to wants me to be like a Udonis Haslam role player. So there would be like, there's a fundamental mismatch. And I see like so many people, essentially, especially like Asian guys that are asking for advice on the internet. I just see that everything's not aligned. Like with this analogy. Yeah, yeah, okay. So the analogy may not be perfect, but essentially you're an NBA player that's a free agent that can sign to any team, but you also don't have an agent that's negotiating deals. You have to negotiate yourself. Yeah, and he's not like finding out what your worth is on the market. You know who's famous for not having an agent? I think John Stockton didn't have an agent. He didn't have an official agent this whole time. Well, he's just stuck with the Utah Jazz. See, he made his decision easily. That would be like an AZN guy who's good with AZN girls and just staying in the AZN zone his whole life. Like staying in OC or 66. John Stockton stayed on the Jazz and he has the most assists in history. And he never had to do any thinking about player movement. He's like, I'm staying. Obviously he was lucky enough to get drafted into a locality that he belonged in. But also Utah, very white city, John Stockton, white. He vibed with it too. What can we learn from John Stockton, guys? Listen guys, I'm just saying this, man. Everybody that's asking online, you know what I mean? All these questions, you gotta understand where you fit in this NBA analogy first. Hey David, how do I get more attention from girls? Send. What? We cannot help you. We literally cannot. So hopefully this video, if you watched it, it helped you understand why people can't help you and what you need to think about. So next time you make a post on Reddit or you ask your friend or you make a post on whatever forum or whatever it is, even if it's not Reddit, if it's on Discord, give the people some more detail, please. Because we don't know who you are. Give us some game footage. Let us see your highlights. And that's why, guys, this all leads back to the purpose of this video, is to sign up for our personalized dating coach. I'm just kidding, we don't have that. No, we don't have a subscription to any sort of dating coach. But that's why there are personalized dating coaches out there. That's why people have programs that, you know, I think the intention is good. I'm not saying, I'm not vouching for those programs that they're legit. But I'm just saying, at least there's somebody who's thinking specifically about your situation. If you're born into Peyton Pritchard's body, please do not look at how much work Jericho Sims or JaVale McGee has to put into their career to stay in the NBA and be like, hey, how come they get away with this? You're in a different situation, man. Well, I'm Peyton Pritchard and I wanna play like Joel Embiid. Learn to play like Peyton Pritchard, all right? But anyways, guys, hopefully that analogy was helpful. It's obviously something that, you know, we're on those forums a lot. I'm curious about what's going on. We've made plenty of videos. We are just here to help. Hopefully you found that analogy helpful. If you know nothing about the NBA, hopefully you learned a little bit about it. So now you can think about it in that way. So dating is like the NBA. Yep, let us know what you guys think of our analogy in the comment section below. Let us know if you agree with us on the reasons why we think asking for dating advice online is oftentimes very perilous and kind of useless because the details are too vague. Let us know what you think in the comment section below. Keep the debate alive. Until next time, we're the Hot Pop Boys. We out, peace.