The Audition - BUS INVADERS (Revisited) Ep. 16

Hey everyone. What's up? I'm Danny. I'm Seth. We're in the audition. Yes we are. We are in the audition. We're going to give you a tour of what I like to call Vantasia. Vantasia! Or the Vanimal. Is that Tony? Yeah, what's up? What up playboy? What's up? I don't know what I do. I don't know what I do either. Oh, there's Tony. That's your friend? Yeah. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Anyway. This is the front. We're going to start with the front. This is the part of the van that sees the country the most. That gets there first. This is our bug killer. If you want to come in close you can see. Come in, yeah. See this? We don't wash her. We feel that we hardly get to wash ourselves. So why should the van get cleaned? Why should the van be cleaner than us? There's a big old dent right here from when we killed Bambi. Yeah, I hit a deer in Saskatchewan, Canada. Scariest thing in my life, probably. But as soon as I hit the deer, I rolled over it and I stopped and I just looked out the mirror, saw it laying dead, and I was just like, that was awesome! Because the middle of it was just going so haywire, dude. It was fucking cool. Yeah. Alright, what else we got here? Cracked windshield, but we'll save that for later. Save that for later. Why don't you come around this way? Nice hubcaps that we spray-painted it gold at one time. Or I guess lacquer of hubcaps. Them's 20s. Nah, they ain't 20s, but I keep them clean. This is a dent that the deer actually folded around. Whack that, whack this, and that's how that came. Come back this way. This is just an icing of dirt. Yeah. I don't know what that's from. That's called dessert. This may be the dirtiest van that you guys will ever see. I'm not kidding you. I'm not kidding you. We work her hard. If you could also smell inside, we'll get to that later, but it ain't pretty. It ain't pretty. We were on tour with, this is a big dent. I don't know if the camera's picking this up, but there's a big dent right here. We were on tour with Jack's Mannequin. That was in February. It was really cold. We were driving and we hit a patch of ice. We were okay. There's no major things happened, but the trailer, this big bad boy right here, actually did a, what is that, a 45? If it's coming this way, that's a 45. Came to the 45, kept going, and bam, trailer, jackknife, right into the side of the van. I was, my head was right here. Mine was right here and it was not fun. We were back here. That was a freaky noise. Freaky, freaky noise. This is actually, this middle part. This is the newest edition of the van trailer marriage. This is the newest edition. This is his second wife being the trailer. We keep that. That is all right. The connection to the trailer is always good because you've got to be safe. You've got to be safe. It's all rusted. It's a little rusted, but that's all right. This used to have a very nice, you know, whatever that diamond plated faceplate, but the first day of Warped Tour, we had this on the back of our bus and our bus driver jackknifed it backing up and it just completely broke all of this. Yeah. Which I don't think he ever paid us for. No, he never paid us for that. Ike, I want my money, man. Ike, I want my money, dude. All right? I'm going to get you. I want my money. Come back. We've blown numerous trailer tires. I mean hundreds. As every van, I'm sure, has. Many. And it's not a very fun thing to, uh. That one says 20s. Nah, they're not 20s, but I keep them clean. The fenders are new. We shinin', man. We had those put on. Those are actually platinum. We shinin', man. We shinin', man. Woo! Shinin', man. We actually, funny story about the trailer. We have, uh, up until, actually still not to this day. Not to this day. We'll get her onto the back. We've had this trailer for, uh. Since last war. Yeah, since last year. And it's still not registered. So we are driving illegally every single place that we go. Yeah. Uh, we got pulled over. Ryan O'Connor is a fugitive and, uh, running from the law in Ohio because, uh, he hasn't gone and been able to, uh. We'd like to extend our apologies to the Ohio State Police. Sorry, dude. You're a great police force. We have much, much respect for you. Please don't arrest our drummer. Let's keep it moving. It's still not, it's still not registered, which is why there's no license plate. This is where a license plate would be. Um, and the state of Ohio clearly frowns upon not having a license plate on your trailer. Keep coming, keep coming. Yeah, he scared the piss out of us, man. Yeah. The dude said, you're all going to jail. You're all going to jail. We're like, oh, this is, this is wonderful. Uh, this side is relatively good. Uh, you know, still platinum. Yeah. Still 20s. I got stuck, I got stuck in a Taco Bell drive-thru the other day and, uh, it was, it took about, it took about 25 minutes to get out. It was just so narrow and I thought I had it and I clearly didn't and I still don't know, really know how I got out, but, uh, I managed. We did it. And, uh, we did it. And like, there was like 30 cars behind us. Everybody's getting out looking. Oh man, look at your trailer, dude. I like your trailer. You want to come inside? This is where we keep all of our merchandise. Uh, this is where we sell the t-shirt. I mean, this is where we store the t-shirt. Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make this clear. This is not a joke. This is not a joke. This is really it. This is really it. Um, we got some boating shoes in case we feel like going boating. You got to wear the proper attire. Flat bottom so you don't fall off the boat. We have a hockey bag for some reason. Yeah. You know, in case the hockey game breaks out. In case you hit a, hit a rink on the way somewhere. You know how like hockey games, like a fight will break out. I was actually in a fight and a hockey game broke out. Uh, that's it for this side. Uh, well, you know. Uh oh. This mirror right here is broken. And I'll tell you why. When we were younger, uh, maybe our second tour ever, we thought it'd be a good idea to all get a bunch of airsoft guns and have an airsoft war while driving in the van. Not the smartest idea. Luckily, no one got hurt. And I always sit in the back so I had everybody up front just teaming up on me. I had this big puffy coat on like over my head just trying not to get hit in the face or anything. We found, this is funny, we found this little magnetic thing. If you want to zoom in on this. We're pretty sure this is a tracking device because look how easily it sticks to the van. Yeah. You want to come inside? I'm still freaked out by that. Why is it still on there? I don't know. It's tracking. I'm going to take that off. Take it off. Yeah, this is no bueno. So, uh, yeah, let's go inside. Let's go in the front first. Should we go in the front? Yeah, I'll take the driver. Alright. This is, uh, this is what we like to call the cockpit. Uh, this is where, uh, this is where we, we navigate this beast. Give me two keys. We, uh, if you want to come on in here real quick, if you want to, uh, I'll turn it. Oh my God. There's a fucking bum in here. Wait, wait, wait. There's a bum in here. There's a bum in here. What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? Hey Bummy. Yo, dude. Yo, dude. This ain't where you live, man. Who are you? You smell like a fucking rotting garbage. Who are you? What the hell is on your head? What is going on? Well, dude, you gotta get out, man. Dude, we don't even know you. Is all of our stuff here? Like, uh, make sure your fucking laptop. Hey bro, it's time to fucking get, get the fuck out of here, bum. Get the fuck, get the fuck out of here, bum. Get the fuck out of here. This ain't where you live, man. This ain't where. Alright, we'll let the bum chill for a bit. Alright, I guess the bum's tired. Trucks are a crazy thing, I guess, man. Oh Jesus. Kids, don't do crack. Keep your job, stay in school. Alright. Come right here. We're gonna start her up real quick. Let's hear that. Let's hear this baby purr. You ready for this? Ooh, wing. Woo. Sounding good. Check this, ready? Woo. Let's hear that baby purr. Woo. It's got a 345 Mustang exhaust. We cut out the tubes. This baby's not even street legal. Honestly, we could get it up to 220 miles an hour. No bullshit. No homo either. Come here, check this out. We had an, we had a, we had. You scared, ain't you? We, we had an electrical fire once, and if you, if you've never seen an electrical fire, it is a, for lack of better terms, a motherfucker. We were getting, we were getting the brakes fixed, and it was in the shop, and I was, I was sleeping in the back, not where that weird creepy bum is, but all the way in the back, and everyone was out. They got to get lunch. I was super tired, so I just slept in the van while they were fixing the brakes. All of a sudden, I hear everyone start, all the, all the guys fixing the van, I hear them start screaming, everyone get out of the van. Get away from the van. I wake up, pop my head out from back there. There is flames burning. I mean, it burned through metal. These were no bullshit flames. The fire was raging, and I mean, it's right by the engine, right by the airbags, really dangerous stuff. I'm in the back. I'm like, it's over. I'm dead. Nice knowing you. I get out of the van. I mean, they put out the fire, and I mean, look at the scar tissue, scar tissue that I wish you saw. It looks good. Now you did see it, so. Yeah. Lucky you. Let's, I. Why don't you come around, why don't you come around here? I want to show you some things over here. I'd like you to take notice at how many miles around this beast right here. Can you see that? 291,364.7. Every single one of them from us. Every single one of them from us. We bought this baby with like 2,000 miles on it, so we work hard. We work hard. We play hard as well. Yes, we do. Radio doesn't work. That's pretty cool. AC's broken. Yeah. You know, comes with the territory, I suppose. You got to rock and roll, baby. Yeah, you do. All right, do you want to talk about this crack in the windshield? No, because I honestly don't know how it got there. I don't think anyone knows. It's just weathering. Honestly, there was nothing, there was no big deal. Yeah, it was like right here, and then. This is like a timeline of our band. It started as a tiny crack over there, and it has worked its way completely across. It's right here. All the way down. When it makes it right here. Game over, man. Shame over. Yep, that's when we give up. Yeah. All right, let's go around the other side. Let's go in the back. All right, here we go. This is supposed to have, you know, all most vans have a tray right here. Yeah, we don't have that. It broke off. So, that's fun. Yo, planet. Here's a story about this. Check it out. So, all vans have a little latch right here that stops this door from doing that, going all the way. So, I don't know, maybe the first day that thing broke, this door was open. As hell, this door swung open and went... Smashed. Shattered the window. Shattered. So, we had to drive like two days with just a big piece of cardboard duct tape to the door. That sucked. That sucked a lot. All right, are you ready for this? Oh, jeez. Here we go. Don't mind this bum character. You know, this is the recording studio. This is where we make, you know, all the jams. This is actually all the recording equipment. This is nice, just so, you know, precautions so we don't cut ourselves and need to tighten the shots. Because we don't have health insurance, we're poor. This is, for lack of better terms, where the magic happens back here. Four benches, you know. We got a plasma right there that doesn't work. A plasma TV. Well, it works. It works, we just never use it. It's a really inconvenient place. Call it poor planning, if you will. Well, it was, because we used to have the bench out, but we put the bench in. Yeah, we used to have a bed right here, but it was, I mean, it got too dirty, too messy. But we used to travel with eight people, so we needed extra spots. Now, everything, everyone fits, everyone has their own bench, and that TV doesn't get any work. This is where we live. I can take you to the back real quick. No, let's go to the back. This is... Alright, we got... What do we got here? We got some shoes. Come on in. We got some socks. I don't know whose this is, but... Here, Ian, why don't you take this in so the bag doesn't start... Just a bunch of guitar polish. We found that. I don't know whose that is. Oh, there it goes. It all spilled out. We got some workout equipment, because I like to get my workout on. I got a speed rope. I got this big bolt. I don't know what this is from. Gotta have one of these at all times. This is like the gym, as I like to call it back here. The fitness centrae, if you will, if you're Canadian. Yeah, that's what we do. That's just what we do. Feel the burn. Push it to the max. Exceed the limit. Limit the exceedance. Oh, it feels good. Oh, I'm ripping through my jacket. You look good. Thank you. You look... You look good for the day. You good? Okay, cool. I feel good. Couple reps. You know what, ladies and gentlemen? I think that might be about it. Oh, the trailer lights don't work. So, again, the Ohio State Police, we apologize. Illinois State Police, we apologize. Every state police, we apologize. And we also apologize on a federal level as well. I mean, yeah, that's the van. It may not seem much, but you gotta remember that this van has taken us everywhere. Everywhere. Everywhere a million times. She's never failed on us. We've missed almost no shows. Yeah, we've missed maybe two shows. Two shows our whole career we've missed because of the van. There's a bunch of writing on the ceiling, but... A quick flash. Quick flash. Some of it's inappropriate. Back's good right here. Back's good? Yeah, yeah. Come on in. Check it out. We write on the ceiling. Some of it's not very appropriate, but... It's not for me to be blamed. Whatever. It's funny. It keeps us entertained when we're... It's a good time. It's a great time. Thank you very much for taking a look at our van. Come see us on tour. And you can see this beautiful piece of art in real life. Buy our new album. Self-titled album. Self-titled album on stores right now. Thank you very much. Bye. Peace.