Why empaths attract narcissists

Hi everyone, this is Athena from Courage Coaching. Welcome to my channel if you are new here. In today's video I wanted to talk about empaths versus narcissists, but in particular I wanted to talk about why narcissists love empaths so much and why they are such magnets for narcissists. Why do you always see narcissists and empaths together in a relationship that is abusive with the empath always suffering in the end? Let's talk about empaths first. What is an empath? What does this mean? So an empath has a very, very strong need for connection to others. They have very high emotional intelligence. Empaths are very attuned to the emotions of other individuals because they have very high levels of empathy. And sometimes they will feel other people's emotions so much that they will take on those emotions. So they might actually even need a break from being around someone, especially somebody that is sad, somebody that is angry or distressed, because the empath will feel this with such intensity that it will be too much for them, that they will feel maybe anxious. So sometimes empaths need to take a step back in order to recover from being around other people's strong emotions. Empaths are also very good at helping other people feel very heard and very validated and very understood. They have a talent for this. They are extremely loyal and caring individuals and very giving to others. And sometimes this will be taken advantage of. Now if the empath also happens to be codependent, they will have this constant desire and need to want to please others, to fulfill other individuals' needs. But also if they are codependent, they will not have a very solid sense of self, which means that the narcissist can take advantage of this. Codependents, sadly, will prioritize somebody else's needs more than their own. And this is where it is really not good for an empath, when they are also codependent, right? Because they will always put other people's needs above their own, they will want to people-please, and this will always be at their own detriment. They will not get their needs met and they will give too much, right? So empaths, essentially, are very giving individuals. They are givers. Narcissists, on the other hand, are what I like to call takers. Narcissists constantly take from others because they have such a huge void that they are constantly needing to fill. They live with a lot of feelings of shame deep down, you know, behind the mask, behind the facade, behind what they portray to the world, and they constantly need other people to help them feel good about themselves, to help them feel important and loved and adored, right? So narcissists love empaths because they are so giving, because they are so sensitive, because they want to please the other person, right? They want to pamper the other person, because they have so much love to give, and they have such a strong desire at the same time to be loved, you know, to be with somebody. And because empaths that have codependency don't have a solid sense of identity, they fill that void, you know, they feed that identity as such by giving to somebody else, by being with a narcissist. And this is really sad, you know, the empath is sensitive, the empath is so delicate, and such a loving individual, and the narcissist basically exploits that to death, and the empath is left feeling depleted and unworthy, and of course, very, very unloved. And at the end of the day, they are left feeling very traumatized, because they have been involved in a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists, we know, are very focused on themselves, and they are incapable of giving themselves what they need, so they need other people to fulfill their needs, which is why they will attach themselves to a very caring, sensitive, loving empath. And being an empath means that you always see the best in others, just like I said before. So the narcissist at the beginning of a relationship will love-bomb the empath, will give them all this love and all this attention, you know, will meet exactly the needs that they have. So if the empath has met the narcissist at a time in their life where they are maybe a little bit vulnerable, and there's something in their life that they're missing, the narcissist will swoop in and give them exactly what they want. And let's not forget, this is also women, right? I'm not talking about narcissists only as men. So narcissists are very good also at hiding their true personality, their true self, and the empath sadly will fall for this. When an empath becomes involved with a narcissist, they will constantly want to please that narcissist, no matter, you know, what happens. And even if the narcissist starts complaining and isn't happy in the relationship, the empath will think that it's their fault, and they will try even harder to please the narcissist in order to make them happy. The problem is when the narcissist starts abusing the empath, gaslighting the empath, manipulating the empath, deflecting any problems onto the empath, the empath will obviously suffer a lot. But if the empath is actually codependent as well, then they stand no chance at all, because they will think that everything is their fault. They will think that they need to do better in order to please the narcissist. And essentially, history will repeat itself, because the empath did not become codependent out of nowhere, right? This happened in their family of origin. So they would have had parents, which made them codependent, which taught them to be codependent, which taught them how to put the parents needs ahead of their own. So the codependent then will essentially recreate what they learned in their family with a narcissist in an intimate relationship, right? This is exactly what we see, that the pattern is recreated, the pattern is repeated. And that's when the empath needs to learn more about narcissists, they need to understand what happens when they have codependent tendencies, they need to understand how to set boundaries, and they need to help themselves heal and find a better, solid sense of self, so they don't fall for narcissists in the future. Because if they've had one relationship with the narcissist, the likelihood is they'll have another relationship with the narcissist, right? Unless they do the work, unless they do the recovery, and they empower themselves to feel stronger and better. If you can relate at all to this video today, then please feel free to leave a comment below the video and share your experience. And if you have any questions, then please feel free to send me an email to courageisallyouneed at gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening and for watching today, everyone, and I will see you very, very soon. Bye-bye.