Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion: How do they differ and which one do people prefer?

Sympathy, empathy, compassion. These three words often get used synonymously, but there are some important differences. When you think of compassion in particular, what comes to mind? How is it different or similar to sympathy and empathy? It can be tricky to tell between them to begin with, but knowing what compassion really is, is crucial when researching these topics. Here at the Compassion Research Lab, we've conducted extensive research on compassion. We've looked long and hard at what it is and how it differs from sympathy and empathy. We did this by reviewing the scientific literature and by speaking with patients directly about their experiences. Both the literature we reviewed and the patients we spoke to gave us a comprehensive understanding of the true nature of compassion. To illustrate, let's imagine you're a patient Your outlook is good, but you're worried. On top of all this, it's happened right in the middle of a big move. Hearing about this, you notice your family, friends, co-workers, and health care providers all react in different ways. Oh my goodness, that sounds awful. Are you going to be okay? I'm so sorry. It must be horrible. Thinking of you, this is sympathy. It's a pity-based response based on a lack of understanding. It makes people say things that make them feel better, but it doesn't do much for you. Then there are others that try to understand what it would be like for them if they were in your situation by trying to feel what you were feeling. They tell you that they know what you're going through. They imagine what it would be like for them to be in your shoes. They might tell you that they have gone through something similar. This is empathy. It makes you feel heard, understood, and a bit better about your situation. But then there are those who try to really understand what it is like for you to feel what you feel and who aren't afraid to suffer with you and to do something to help. They actively listen, they're kind, they're loving, and they genuinely seek to understand you and your unique needs. But then they go one step further and show up on the weekend to help out with the big move. They haven't said they feel sorry for you. They haven't just understood you. They have been selfless and done something to help. They aren't afraid to engage you in your suffering. They understand you and what you actually need, not just what they would want if they were in your shoes. Most important of all, they actually do something to improve your situation. That is compassion. Sympathy, empathy, and compassion may seem similar, but for those experiencing suffering, the differences are obvious and impactful. Patients told us that sympathy was unwelcomed and unhelpful. They told us that empathy was better because it attempted to understand what it would be like to be in another person's shoes. But compassion took things to the next level by understanding and addressing a patient's needs in a personalized manner, not just through words or feelings, but by putting their ego aside and by getting their hands dirty in order to actively engage and alleviate a person's suffering.