How to Defeat Chinese Zombies, Vampires

Hey everyone, welcome to Off The Grid. Whoa, Mike Chen here. Dan Chen here. Now we know that it was kind of irresponsible of us to introduce you to the world of Jiangshi and then not teach you how to defeat them for like weeks. Now this is very different from using things like garlic, silver bullets, or wooden sticks. And we know that for some of you, it may already be too late. But in our defense, you know, I was eating stuff. Yeah, I had to go get a manicure. Well anyway, for the rest of you who are still human, here are ways how you can defeat a Jiangshi. Sword or basically any wooden object made from the wood of a peach tree. In the book, Jin Chu Sui Shi Ji, which documents various customs and traditions, it mentioned that peach is the essence of the five elements. It can eliminate evil auras and deter evil spirits. So guys, make sure you go get a peach wood sword, which of course nowadays you can get on eBay. I also wonder if you could just like, you know, eat a peach and then spit the pit out of Jiangshi. Oh yeah. That's basically like, you know, plants versus zombies. Yeah, definitely. Get a rooster. In a book that documents true supernatural stories, or what Confucius did not speak of, author Yuan Mei wrote that evil spirits, including Jiangshi, withdraw when they hear a rooster's crow. The reason is it signals that daylight is near and Jiangshi, of course, is scared of daylight. Yeah. So, you know, get a rooster and train him how to crow. On command. The book Zi Bu Yu also mentioned the use of jujube seeds. Jujube are also known as Chinese dates or Zao. They're super tasty. And we use them often in things like congee, eight treasures tea. To use the jujube to defeat the Jiangshi, you must nail seven jujube seeds into the acupuncture points on the back of a Jiangshi. This method is probably the most complicated unless you are, of course, a master acupuncturist and basically superhuman with a hammer and a nail because jujube seeds aren't the easiest to handle. I think they're like tiny. Yeah, they're like super small. So you gotta do like real quick, seven times before they move. Fire. Now, this is probably pretty straightforward way to defeat a Jiangshi. You just set them on fire. Again, according to the book Zi Bu Yu, the crackling flames will burn the Jiangshi to its very bones. So kind of like how you defeat a vampire. Kind of like how you defeat a lot of creatures. You just burn them to death. Yeah, pretty much. Fire destroys all apparently. Except for like Jason from Friday the 13th. Oh, dude, you can't kill Jason. Nothing kills him. Dude, you can't kill Jason. You can't kill Freddy. How do you kill those guys? Jason, you have to have Jason's family members stick a dagger into his heart. How do you kill Freddy? The Bagua, which literally means eight symbols, are eight trigrams used in Taoist cosmology to represent the fundamental principles of reality. Because many believe that Jiangshi were created by Taoist incantations, the Bagua became an obvious deterrent for Jiangshi. The Yi Qing, also known as the Classic of Changes or Book of Changes, is one of the oldest of Chinese classical texts. The origins of Bagua and other fundamental Taoist principles are all said to have originated from the Yi Qing, making this book something all Jiangshi fears. It's like the garlic of books. Like you just hold it up and they run away. I mean... Or it's like the cross. I used to run away from books. Oh, in general. You know what I wonder? What's that? Can you like, does the Yi book work? The Yi book version? Download it. Dude, dude, dude. It's like, yeah, of course. For modern times, I want to see them make a movie where you defeat Jiangshi with iPads. Thread stained with black ink. Thread stained with black ink is something all carpenters used in ancient China. Purpose of it is to help the carpenter make sure everything he or she is making comes out straight. Straight, or zheng, can also mean righteous in Chinese. And according to legend, this thread that helps create righteous things is a very effective Jiangshi killer. What do you do with the string and black ink, do you like? Well, you can actually put it around your house to prevent Jiangshi from entering your house. Or I think you can just like, you know, it's like string them. Sticky rice. In some parts of China, when people are sick, loved ones will soak sticky rice in water and then paste it all over their loved one's body. Because in Chinese legend, when someone dies, Heibai Wuchang, or black and white guards of impermanence, are responsible for taking the soul of the dead to the underworld. By sticking rice all over the sick people, people believe that these guards will confuse the rice with maggots and think that the sick has actually been dead for a long time and thus will not attempt to claim the soul. Because of this, many believe that sticky rice has the ability to ward off evil spirits and Jiangshi. This is why Asians have the edge here in defeating Jiangshi because we all have rice at home. There you go. Taoist incantations. Taoist priests were like ancient ghostbusters. Many of them exercise evil spirits and battle Jiangshi for a living. Some of the most powerful tools in their arsenal are paper incantations, which can stop a Jiangshi in its track. So who you gonna call? Mirrors. Jiangshi are terrified of mirrors. According to Bencao Gangmu, an ancient medical text by one of China's greatest doctors, mirrors are essence of liquid metal. They are internally bright and externally dark, giving them spiritual qualities. So when Jiangshi looks into a mirror, they detest their own reflection and are harmed by the spiritual nature of the reflective glass. Some other ways to defeat Jiangshi include the blood of a black dog, sword made from ancient coins, hand bells, brooms, and also there are some who believe that if you drop a bunch of coins right in front of a Jiangshi, it will stop everything and start to count them. And if you don't have any dog blood or peach wood laying around, we will teach you the most effective method. Hold your breath. It is believed that if you hold your breath, the Jiangshi will not be able to see you or find you. So there you go, guys. Now you know how to fend off Jiangshi and all is right in the world. So there you go, guys. And we're glad we just made this in time so you can fend them off when the zombie apocalypse comes. I know, like, if we didn't tell you this in time, like, all of you would be like Jiangshi and Jiangshi don't watch YouTube. Nah, no, dude. Of course not. Oh, by the way, you got something on your face, man. Oh, really? Yeah, let me show you. Is it a zit? Yeah, take a look. Dan, you have discovered my secret. My Chen, you have eaten your last steak.