9 Types of Asian Parents

Hey, what's up everybody? Welcome to Off the Great Wall. It's Mike. It's Dan. Before we start, make sure to follow us on Instagram and check out the Double Chin Show. It's all good for you, like vitamins. Yeah, so get your daily dose. That's right. Yo, Mike, we always talk about Asian parents, right? We do. But here's the thing, not every type of Asian parent is the same. There's all kinds, like my parents are one type, your parents are one type. That's right, your parents are more like hippie, Chinese, which are kind of rare. And my parents are pretty much the regular, strict type of Asian parents. But you know what? There are a lot of different types of Asian parents. So we will introduce you to some of them today. Exactly. Number one, the strict one. First up is your stereotypical strict Asian mom or dad. Probably what most people think of when they hear Asian parents. These Asian parents are known for their iron fist and sky-high expectations from school to your now pretty much non-existent social life. Hey mom, can I go to my friend's birthday party? Party? No party for you. You go study now and become a doctor. But mom, I'm 12. That's why you get early start. Now hurry, go study. No party for you. Dad, I got a 100 on my math test. 100? Why not 200? Hey mom, I gave blood today. Did you know I'm blood type A? A? Why not A plus? Number two, the overprotective ones. Overprotectiveness, which I'd say is actually pretty common for all parents, but especially for Asian parents, go hand in hand with strictness. These moms and dads are just trying to show their love and care, but often just go a bit overboard. Hi dad. Oh, hi. Oh! Babies. Babies. Who dat? That's my friend. No dating till marriage. He's not even my boyfriend. You date boy, you die. Listen to your dad. Good for you. No. Go to your room. Hey dad, can I sleepover at my friend's place? Sleepover? No. You go to friend's house sleepover, bookshelf fall on you when you sleep. Dad won't be there to catch it. Wait, what bookshelf? You sleepover, you die. Number three, tiger mom. So that's your average strict Asian parent, but the tiger mom takes it to the next level. And by next level, we mean next level. The tiger mom practically has fists of diamond and even higher expectations. Yeah, as if that was possible, right? Straight A's are pretty much standard, nothing less. And you also better be an accomplished musician who can play at least 12 instruments. You also have to be a lawyer, doctor, and engineer in training. And while you're at it, also a world-class athlete all by, you know, the sixth grade. You forgot, you gotta be a world-class ballet dancer too. Ooh, that's right. And you should be good at chess. Chinese chess. Chinese chess and the Chinese checkers. Chinese checkers? I don't have Chinese checkers. That's my game. That's it? That's my game. I am the Chinese checkers champion. Anybody wanna challenge me? I think you just made that up. I never played Chinese checkers before. You think I made up the game Chinese checkers that's been around for all those years? Yeah, we'll find out later. How do I even find out that it exists? Oh man, you need to get out more, my friend. Anyways, basically what you're saying is no hanging out with your friends, no going to parties, no taking breaks. Don't even think about it. There's no time for fun in this household. Only cold, hard success. Number four, the guilt tripper. I hate this. The guilt tripper parents use a different psychological method These parents are usually first generation immigrants who worked super hard and sacrificed a lot to get here. On a serious note, you really should be thankful and appreciative of all that they've done for you. So don't forget that while they're guilt tripping you. Exactly. That's probably what they'll say to you. That's right. But you probably don't have to worry about that because they're gonna make sure that you don't forget it. Especially when you're slacking off yourself. You don't want to walk to school? When your father was your age, I run to school 10 miles every morning. Then I run home 20 miles after school every night. 30 miles round trip! You get A- on tests? Mom and dad move all the way here from China so you can go to school here? And you get A- on tests? Little Mia, how old are you? 15. When I was your age, I was 16! But no matter how much your parents nag you to do better and better, they sure do love showing you off when they're around other parents. The bragger will gladly list off all your accomplishments, usually leaving you embarrassed but, you know, securely happy. Our daughter, she is at the top of her 5th grade class. Her teacher says she's the best student and she has perfect attendance! What?! Our daughter makes beautiful music on the piano! She's level 11! Aiya! Better than Mozart! But enjoy the bragging while you can because it's definitely short-lived. Once you're alone again... I'm just gonna go get some more water. Yes, yes, help yourself. Aww, thanks dad! What? What do you mean thank you? You better go practice the piano some more! You sound like dying chicken! On the other hand, there's the gossip mom. These Asian moms love talking about other kids and sometimes even their own if the gossip is juicy enough. Circles of Asian gossip moms will gather together to discuss the week's hottest news from the latest math test scores to any questionable love interests. What?! He only got 96 on his math test! My Mia, she got 102! Even bonus question! She's so smart! She too good for him! He not good at all! The cooking mama or papa is basically cooking, which is great for us. She or he is always frying up delicious dishes to keep you well-fit and happy. And makes sure that you always eat, eat, and eat some more. Hey mom, I'm going to school! Wait! Did you eat yet? Mom has food for you! Hey mom, I'm home! Did you eat yet? Mom has food for you! Sometimes, though it may surprise you, Asian parents like to have a little fun too. Here's where the gamer comes in. Most Asian parents are deathly against video games. But occasionally, you'll get the one who can't help but to get a little reeled in too. You made me die! I'm so disappointed in you. Yeah, they're out there. Among Asian parents, cool parents are a rare breed. The cool parent is basically one of you, or at least he or she tries to be. They let you do pretty much whatever you want, and sometimes even partake in the fun themselves. Any other runner-ups? Well, also the Asian parents who think they're not Asian. Oh, you got those, yeah. Because basically they want to try to fit in. That's kind of like the dad from Fresh Off the Boat. Exactly, yeah. They listen to hip-hop, maybe rock and roll. And they're like, hey son, let's go take a trip. And you're like, oh man. But he's like, no, it's going to be fun! It's not going to be like an Asian family trip. You know what my dad said to me once? What's that? Because I lived in Iowa, and my dad once said, hey, let's go to Ames, Iowa, which is like slightly bigger than my little town of 20,000 people. Right. And I'm like, what am I going to do there? I don't want to go. You know what he said to me? What's that? You ever heard of doing things as a family? I'm like, you got that at Full House! And guys, make sure you check out the video we made about how awesome Asian parents are. Because they are awesome, no matter what kind of Asian parents you have. Bottom line, they're all awesome. Yeah. Alright guys, don't forget to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, all that good stuff. Thank you so much for watching. See you later. I was your age. I was 16! Do it again. Just do it again. Aiyah!