Raising Proud ASIAN Kids Is DIFFICULT

this parent of this mixed Asian baby is afraid that their child will never learn Chinese very well and they're kind of freaking out what can they do well let's play this clip from the 2010 Classic niow Kyan I'm Ken niow that's how I say hi in Chinese Say ni boom this is a situation that a lot of parents are going through in 2024 this situation in particular on Reddit might be a little bit more extreme though he says I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle teaching my Wan child Chinese why you call her weian yeah that's kind of crazy anyway he's second generation Chinese American he married a white woman he's living in a white area he's surrounded all about a white culture he said all the songs he knows are in English what is he going to do he's freaking out about his own identity right so I don't know if he really needs to freak out right now she's only 2.5 months old so she got some time but anyways guys we're going to talk about our suggestions the things that parents in this situation need to remember hopefully it's going to be helpful and inspiring and then there's a whole bunch of other comments that give uh their point of view so please hit that like button check out other episodes of The Hop poop boys because listen I'll tell you this if you want a product to put in your house to make your daughter feel proud of be in Chinese it might be SMA that you can get on Amazon Anda sales.com I'll say you this there is a Super Active Reddit form called multi- lingual parenting Andrew and people are discussing this this topic because not just him but like a lot of people are going through this situation as we get into second third fourth generation Asian amans people of all languages this is multilingual parenting meaning that they're talking about span all different languages of parents who are trying to be like hey how do I teach my kid another language while growing up in America and making them feel comfortable and not having some type of identity crisis so Point number one Andrew you can't make anybody do anything if they don't feel it in their heart feel it in your heart I mean I guess ultimately my whole thing is like he's in charge of maybe her identity the things she's exposed to when she's very young in in reference to his daughter so it's like you can't really ever make anybody do anything especially in America America English is the dominant language English also became a global Ling with Fran so everybody in other countries is trying to learn English as well so it's like I guess what can he do he can just try to make her appreciate the culture and like the culture but in America it's true there's no need unless you operate within that Enclave Community to be able to Comm communicate in that language right I mean let's be honest there's even kids of immigrant parents who still don't speak the language well very well or at all sometimes usually they understand it though right right right but at least you know it doesn't mean just because your parents speak a language that you're going to learn it automatically it does have to be deliberate it sometimes does take work and it is sometimes costly whether with time or money so Point number two is for this parent this op what is her what is going to be her incentive to work through learning ch Chinese as she gets older what's going to be her incentive what does learning Chinese do to her life what is she needed for now you can do the one parent one language thing where uh the father he speaks Chinese so he's only going to speak to the daughter in Chinese but like also like what does he say to her is he going to say positive things is he only going to scold her and drill her well then there she's going to associate that with like a strict parent so then she's not going to want to learn Chinese or does she need it so that she's going to go on trips back to China and understand like the grandparents or something like that right right right I mean the truth is it's very hard to stay like to be fluent and bilingual in America because even Hispanic Americans Latin America is right next to North America and um if you look at the rates only 50% of the second gen is able to have a conversation and some Studies have shown that the third generation of Latino Americans that rate drops to about 20 25% and Spanish is a language that is very very close at least in some vocabulary to English right but not all hope is lost because I'm going to run some clips of non-asian kids speaking Chinese or saying they want to be Chinese I want to be Chinese you just want to be Chinese but you're but but why you I I only say Shea Shea yeah what does that [Music] mean woman woman what are we having for dinner Chinese boom so there it is it it does does go to show you there's multiple Trends there's obviously the trend of Americanization and assimilation happening simultaneously technology and just sort of the prevalence of the Chinese culture growing globally due to macroeconomics is also causing these videos that I never saw when I was young right and these are kids who are excited about Chinese food being Chinese or speaking Chinese so Point number three Andre how do you make it fun or cool people in America probably You could argue even more than other countries they care about what is cool America creates what is this very hard to quantify cool culture around the globe typ things that are cool Andrew make people feel alive when you're talking about something that feels makes somebody feel alive usually is hitting their endorphins their adrenaline their dopamine or serotonin receptors inside of their body so I guess to your point Andrew you're saying don't if he grew up with like very traditional maybe stereotypical uh hypercritical Chinese parents he probably should not just repeat the phrases of that in mandering to his daughter yeah I mean you have to make it fun and make them feel fun and she has to associate the language with fun experiences enjoyable food like she has to associate speaking Mandarin you know obviously dim suum is generally Cantonese but by by the time she's eating dim suum listen every all the dimsum ladies are going to be able to speak Mandarin so I'm saying like it's like you might as well just like practice there be in these nice environments go to your Chinese restaurant maybe you don't have a lot of great Chinese food but there are Chinese restaurants in every city you're saying like if he introduces her to beef noodle soup in the future when she's like seven or a at the point where she can even enjoy food like that she'll just be like hey Dad can we go get neurom man yeah things like that like the food is the easiest way obviously but there's so much more work to be done there's so many other different aspects of culture you know whether you put them in martial arts there's the usually you know Lunar New Year festivals mid-autumn festivals imersion immersion schools immersion schools cost money but they're definitely available in a lot of large there's places like Heidi Lao that mix everything like unique food marshal Arts festivals and unique clothing and decorations all into one experience no Heidi Lao is definitely a Chinese experience no doubt and in in a way would you say Andrew he should feel so lucky because there's such a wealth of material to learn Chinese even versus say for example a much smaller Asian group yeah like if you think about it op you're in actually a great position because Mandarin is one of the top three globally most spoken languages with all the material so many cour there's Instagram teachers there's YouTube teachers there's free teachers there's paid teachers there's immersion schools everybody is learning Mandarin so in a way you're not in a bad situation like obviously if you're of a smaller Asian group there's not going to be as many materials even Vietnamese is not going to be as easy to learn formally in America right there's not going to be as many books or like programs or courses like he probably could find a course that's catered to almost his exact situation even there might even be a Chinese language learning course for mix kids like literally I'm talking about that's how big the Chinese language learning world is yes there's a lot of money behind it it is a huge industry so actually in a way even though Chinese is a fairly tough language you're in a great position right Point number four he should take her on trips back to the motherland right and I think it almost depends on what his own relationship is if for example they're going to watch like a Disney movie in Mandarin and Disney's going to have like a mandarin version cuz right the China Market is so big whether it's China Taiwan Singapore or whatever like that it's like he's got to enjoy it with her too yeah like he's got to enjoy the Mandarin dubs of inside out part two or something yeah but I mean I think the trips back are really going to do big big things and impact them because they're going to be immersed there and they're going to see a need to learn Chinese you know and and at least op can speak Chinese like fluently you know it's like if I had to think about even my kids like let's say I marry a non-chinese speaker even if I take the family to China like I can get around and survive but I'm not really going to be able to take my family everywhere in China and do even everything or have like all these crazy colorful conversations yeah I'll probably be able to get by but like I'm not really even the most Chinese person I don't even speak Chinese that well so I'm thinking about it and that's a situation that you know you have to keep in mind as as as a guy you know especially you're going to be responsible for introducing your family to motherland culture you can look at it as a really you could look at it as a high pressure task that it's very daunting or you can actually take pride in this task of you being the sole immediate representation of Chinese culture to your kid right like maybe even physically you might just live in a region where you're the only even visual representation yeah and so this leads on to my next point point number five honestly it is probably just more important that he focuses on building her cultural identity and having her be proud of being Asian and Chinese first even having pride in Chinese culture number one is going to then probably lead her on a path to then seek out learning the language on her own later in life even give the possibility even keeps those doors open obviously everybody can decide for themselves ultimately whether they walk through those doors later in life but the fundamental basis will be there yeah and and I I don't like doubt that you know maybe this ABC dad he's maybe low-key uh unintentionally projecting a uh identity crisis onto her because he's a Chinese American and he's like well I'm not even the most Chinese person and so my daughter is she actually even half Chinese Chinese or is she actually half Chinese American so she's even less Chinese than if I was a full-on immigrant from China right it's more like being she's like a third or a half a quarter Chinese I mean bloodwise she's ethnically she's obviously half but yes culturally she's even less than half Chinese technically because you as the Chinese parent are still Americanized well I'll tell you this he's the dad she's going to have a Chinese last name so it's kind of like up to him right like to an extent like I'm sure he wants to work within the infrastructure and the system you're he it's like what I don't understand what he's freaking out about it's like yeah just come up with a plan You' got all these modern tools at your disposal like it's different like let's just go into the comment section somebody's saying that for example I speak English to my daughter and my mom speaks Cantonese to my her granddaughter and my dad speaks Mandarin to her we're just trying to develop those neural Pathways and grooves so in the future if she ever wants to pick it up there's a lot of muscle memory from the younger years yeah like I said that that I think that that's honestly would be a pretty good outcome you know for him um somebody said why don't you guys just watch popular shows there's so many of the corporate big ones that are dubbed in Mandarin nowadays I would agree with that and you got to just enjoy him too like just put on the English subs and have it in Mandarin so it's just like she doesn't think hearing these sounds is like weird or something like that yeah you got to watch like cool Chinese movies and shows together as a family I think with your wife obviously she should still have an appreciation I'm not saying your wife needs to teach the daughter Chinese but she should you as a family need to enjoy Chinese things Chinese products right right right I think it's really important for him to like say certain phrases whether it's like not just like you like your parents growing up sometimes they're like uh this it like like you know what I mean saying like study harder or something like that why why doesn't he just say well I need or cuz I noticed that some uh second or third or fourth generation Latino Americans they don't necessarily know how to fully Converse at a college level or anything like that but they know the phrases from their culture like oh you know trano papy papy Primo like you know the Dominicans they know the things that are like almost difficult to they can't be expressed in English right right and I think colloquial phrases yeah yeah and I think like positive phrases and compliments so that she has a positive conation to the language not just telling her to do things you know um so yeah I mean just start off using positive language in Chinese and and all the good stuff that she likes in her life she'll associate that with the Chinese language right I think also it's important to show her stuff that is like way cooler than what she has access to at school they're probably still eating lunch in 2024 but you know the 2024 Lunchables people are probably still eating Sloppy Joe's cheese tortilla wraps show her the other worlds maybe show her that she can show her friends some cool montos or you know there's so many joues and Sh JS and Bings robings like you know what I mean there's just so many things you can show that like the Anglo-Saxon world or the American Anglo whatever mainstream like just doesn't know anything about and I think people are going to be more open-minded in the future so if your daughter can show people moon cakes and all this stuff like that like people are going to be like man that's cool like Sally Chen she looks white but man she knows a lot of stuff we don't know that makes her special in rual Wyoming um ultimately man I I would just say this I think the op needs to ask himself why does he want her to learn it like I think language and culture are different and you ultimately if you had to pick one you want your daughter to or your kids or your siblings whatever to have respect for the culture mhm it kind of was a red flag for me that he even referred to his own daughter as Wan yeah I don't cuz I was like that's what is that Australian British term we don't use that term in America yeah I mean again what are your expectations like if if this dad is thinking like oh well it'd be nice if she was the next Eileen goo Eileen goo took advantages of all those uh Chinese opportunities and doubt she's rich and famous and beautiful and trained I was like yeah but you're not Eileen goo's mom like this like Elite Beijing woman who's straight from Beijing which is like the center of China by the way you know so it's like you can't get get more Chinese than that you're Chinese American it's okay I think the expectations are a little bit different luckily you're trying to teach a mandarin and there are a million Mandarin teachers out there uh right cater to every sort of scenario right yeah dude there's Instagram ones that I follow that I mean at least teach ratchet Chinese you can yeah learn funny Chinese ratchet Chinese colloquial Chinese whatever it is you know what I mean there's so many meme Pages there's so many movies out there um uh yeah I mean maybe if you want her to do business in the future again you're just going to have to build in this uh cultural pride in her you know what I mean so that you feel like oh well if my daughter is half Chinese and half white but she actually can speak Chinese she's going to have the upper hand she's going to have an advantage yeah maybe you're extrapolating that but you can do a good job you just have to be like a good father loving father because you are the image of a Chinese man in her life there's probably not that many other Chinese people in her life as you've described and you are going to be responsible for building that positive image so just be a cool dad don't be a lame dad you got the juice now and plus you got chat GPT all these different AI language modeling tools where you can even force it to like have a conversation with you and guess what Andrew you can force Chad GPT to have a conversation with you in Mandarin and it'll never criticize you yep yeah anyway guys let us know what you think of this situation in the comment section below I think his situation or circumstances are a little bit more extreme but a lot of people second gen parents are running into this you know what I mean like and I know a lot lot of people wanted to figure this out because you know the world is becoming more globalized but the world is also speaking English at a higher rate ever and people don't know how they want to coach their kids what is the incentive pattern what are you going to do with it and uh I'll say this language is sort of like you know it's not like riding a bike if you don't use it you will lose it let us know what you think in the comments section below until next time with the Hop boys we out peace peace