6 Awkward Love Advice From Our Asian Parents

Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's the OTGW discussion time. It's the OTGW crew. This is the crew. Thanks, buddy. Thank you so much for that. I don't know what we would do without that. So today we're talking about something that's really interesting because we all have our own perspective on love and relationships. So do our parents. Especially me, yeah. So we're entering the uncomfortable territory of love advice from our Asian parents. Love or relationship advice. Who wants to take it away? Let's go with Yi. Okay, before I get to the advice that my mom gave me, let's start with my grandma, okay? Whoa! Wait, wait, you got love advice from Asian grandmas? Asian grandma. Are you serious? Grandma has a lot to say. No. Okay, what does she say? Yeah, so grandma has a few tips about dating. First, make the guy wait. Like, wait. My grandparents dated for seven years before getting married. So you're saying make him wait to get married. Yes, wait to even become in a relationship. Wait, wait, what? As in, my grandpa was sending signals. So make them earn it. That's the message. Play hard to get. Seven years. Yeah, my grandpa was sending signals for a few years before they actually got together. And once they got together, seven years of sort of dating. What's her reasoning for that? Well, she said basically, you have to get to know the guy. By then, all pretenses would have dropped. And so then that's tip number one from Asian grandma. Tip number two from Asian grandma. He's never your boyfriend. He's always your friend until you get married. Oh, yes! He's your friend until you're married. Back in the day, you're really not allowed to be friends with guys. So if you have a guy friend, that is considered to be sort of a boyfriend. But basically, that means as a friend, you can't really have that many close physical contact. You speak in a very kind of respectful way. Can you hang out a lot? No, you can't hang out. Where are you going to hang out? This is the culture revolution. You can't hang out in the cornfields. Let's go look for corn together because we're both starving. Yeah, touche. It was very difficult and yes. And so that's two tips from grandma. My mom gave me this advice, which I don't know. You could say it's good or bad. But she said that if you want a good relationship, the guy has to love the girl more. Like she told me, never marry somebody or date somebody who you love more than he loves you. I never know what to make out of it. Like how to make out of it. Like, okay. Good job, dude. Here's how she reasons it. Because if you love the guy more, you'll end up sacrificing for him like way more. And he might not even care about you. And even if the guy's a little ugly, a little not so great, but through time, he'll treat you so well. He'll shower you with affection and it's just so nice to you that he'll eventually win you over. And she's like, by the time you're 45, trust me. That's all that's going to matter. And she's like, by the way, that passion stuff, that's for kids. She said, none of that. And she's like, by the way, when you're young, you can date around. Date around as much as you want as long as you're safe and whatever. Like, you know, but you know, obviously don't take my mom's advice. Don't take, like, I don't really know. I don't follow my mom's advice. Okay. My parents only each gave me one tip. Because you don't talk about this. I come from an Asian family where this is not discussed ever. My dad's tip was, he said, never be cheap with a girl. When I first started dating someone, I dated a white girl. Before he met her, he knew I had a girlfriend. So he said to me, he said, you need some money. Because if you don't, here's some money. Because you never want to be stingy with a girl. Where do you think that comes from? Do you think because your dad dated a lot of women before your mom? Or, like, why do you, how do you come up with that? No, I think my dad, my dad in general, he is a very generous individual. To this day, it's not because of dad advice, but I'm very generous, you guys know. So, you know, dad advice, I think that characteristic passed down from my dad to myself. So then my mom gave me some advice. It's probably the worst advice ever. It was horrible. So I was dating a girl. I was dating the same girl, I think, before my mom met her. She's like, wait, you're only dating one girl? What? I'm like, yeah. She's like, you need to, you need to be a fisherman. I'm like, what's that mean? What? She's like, spread the net. No way! She said that to you? She's like, you need to date many people at the same time. Otherwise, how do you compare? So then she's like, I'm like, what? She's like, when I was dating your father. Oh no! Are you kidding me? No, no, so. No way! Dating back then is a lot more innocent in terms of, you know, you're kind of like your grandma, your grandfather. You're barely going out. Okay, wait. So she meant dating back then wasn't like she had 800 boyfriends. She meant like I was friendly with multiple suitors. She had a lot of suitors. Dating back then is a lot more innocent. You know, you're dating someone, meaning that you had lunch with a guy. Right. Oh, yeah. So. How is that bad advice, though? Wait, no, no, look. Okay, that did not just happen. But, um. Let me explain myself, all right? Obviously, she's coming from the old perspective of like, she's not actually going on dates. She's just kind of like, like, hey, how you doing, Bob? How you doing, Jack? So that's all I'm saying. So what about you, Mia? Okay, I'm a little bit broken in this topic. Like, in our family, we don't really talk about dating. Okay. Basically, my mom's advice is, I'm trying to remember, but like. Or any rules? She also put it in terms like, oh, he's your friend. He's not really your boyfriend. So when you're young, you can just, you know, have friends. But you're not really, like, exclusively dating that person. You know what I mean? So it's like, she's kind of avoiding that topic. So basically, they never give you any advice, like these two. Like, these are straight up advice. Let's each give a piece of advice for our viewers. So, Dan. All right, so for me, like, I watch my whole parents through this process of, you know, meeting, divorce, and then seeing our family, and then comparing and contrasting. I do kind of agree with my mom in that I think the most important thing is not if you can, you know, have stimulating conversation or have a lot of similar interests. Because that period will fade. And I notice, like you, that marriage is hard work. So I see that my uncle and my aunt who stayed together through thick and thin, they worked at it, and now they're happy. Sure, they have problems. My parents, they had problems, but my dad kind of just ran away. You know, so to me, like, what I would, my advice would be, you know, definitely look for qualities, like qualities of a good man and a good husband. I think one of the best conversations you can have is with your parents from a far away distance. Like, ask them what they were thinking, how did your parents get together, and how, and if you had advice for your younger self, what would it be? Like, basically do some research in a very, like, journalistic way, and ask some people, and that's what I do, and I arrive to my own conclusions. So that would be my advice. Okay. I would say, like, when you're looking for, like, a significant other, or when you're dating, not for kids, alright, but just for somebody who's looking to get married or something, I would say one of the most important qualities is, like, a sense of responsibility. Because, you know, he could, even if he's not smart, even if he's not good looking, even if he's not rich, even if he's not, like, a bunch of things that, like, Asian parents might want, but, like, if he's responsible, he'll come through for you. He won't leave you, he won't leave your kid, he won't leave you hanging, basically. And that's, at the end of the day, that's what you can really count on, right? Okay. Yeah. Um, like, just kind of, like, piggyback off of my story, I think that's, like, the willingness of, like, working on your relationship is also an important thing. Also, that's, that's, like, proven over time, right? Well, I have two pieces, because I'm moderating. Yeah! So, first of all, I disagree with the whole dating around. I think if you're dating, you should have a mindset of, okay, I want this to hopefully turn into something serious, so eventually I could marry someone. Also, there are nice guys out there, ladies, so don't stay in a bad relationship, or don't feel like you can't find someone better, because all you experienced were bad relationships. So don't settle for, like, a bad relationship. If you are in a bad relationship, get out of that relationship, because there are good people out there. Goes for guys, too. Sometimes guys are in bad relationships. So don't settle, you know, keep striving. So that's three pieces of advice, I guess. Nice. But I did it really quickly, so that's the way it goes. Alright, guys, that's all the time we have. Thanks so much for watching. Bye! Peace!