Learning the ropes of men's style and cultivating and developing your own personal style is a journey. And we're all on that journey. Some are just beginning (welcome!), some have mastered the basics, and some have graduated to PhD-level sartorialism. The thing is, along that journey, you're going to make some mistakes. No two ways around it. It's going to happen.
There is one mistake, however, that I rarely (if ever) hear people talk about. While articles and videos love listing things off with more or less easy remedies, the style mistake I'm talking about never really comes up. Why? Well, first of all, it's kind of hard to but into a neat box. And second of all, it's not so easily remedied. The thing I can most definitely guarantee though is that you cannot avoid this mistake during your style journey.
Learning about menswear, developing a personal style,
finding what's right for you, it's a journey.
We are all on that journey,
and one of the things that is guaranteed to happen
at some point along the way
is that you will make some kind of mistake.
You'll probably make more than one.
Now, some mistakes will be very easy to correct.
There are tons of posts and videos out there
about things you shouldn't do
or style mistakes that men make,
but there is one mistake that everyone makes,
never included on any of these lists
that I feel is difficult to identify,
difficult to address or remedy,
but 100% guaranteed to happen to everyone
at some point during their style journey.
I'm sure you're wondering what on earth this is,
what it could be, but before we get to that,
we have to do the intro.
What's up, guys?
I'm Brian Sacawa.
You're watching He Spoke Style,
and today, the one style mistake
that is completely unavoidable.
So this particular style mistake,
I would say typically is something we go through
more towards the beginning of our style journeys,
just getting into it, not a whole lot of knowledge,
but very curious and very eager
to quickly get yourself to a different place.
So as we're doing this,
as we're adding pieces to our wardrobe
to dress better, to feel better,
and kind of looking to be accepted in some way
into this community of men who do dress well,
we are bound to do the most terrible thing.
I would call it the number one style mistake of all time,
and that is we try too hard.
We've all been this person in some way at some time.
If we've gotten past that, it's easy to see
and kind of recognize the signs.
Generally, this person will appear
a little uncomfortable and self-conscious,
probably wearing a suit, quite possibly a three-piece suit.
They've got the lapel flower, the tie bar,
three or four beaded bracelets,
one of them with a skull on it, a fedora,
basically going way overboard
and probably wearing that stuff in a situation
that would not require that level of getting dressed up.
Now, why do people do this?
I've thought a lot about the reasons behind this
and why this is a thing that people seem to go through,
and I think it boils down to one very specific thing,
and that is that when you decide
that you are going to start thinking about personal style,
about how you dress, and you make that commitment
to developing your wardrobe,
that you're super excited about this
and you want people to know
and you want to show people that you are into style.
This always results in going too far,
doing too much, and trying way too hard.
Now, as I mentioned at the beginning of this video,
I think this is something that is completely unavoidable.
Now, I sit here and talk to you
about style on my channel all the time.
The He Spoke Style website's been around
for almost seven years,
but that doesn't mean
that I haven't gone through this either.
In many ways, the beginning of He Spoke Style
was the beginning of my journey to where I'm at now.
I did do a video about some of my worst outfits,
which I recommend checking out if you haven't already,
and some of those I classified as bad
because I did feel as though I was trying too hard.
I do want to show you, though,
just one of the things I'm talking about from my past
so you can see that I, too, have been there.
So here it is.
I have no words other than I think
this is probably the best example that I could provide.
So much going on here from the honey-colored sunglasses
with the pinstripe suit and kind of electric blue tie.
Pocket square fold, don't even ask me.
I don't know what I was thinking.
There's also the contrast club collar shirt.
Notice also that the sleeves aren't buttoned
or I'm not wearing cufflinks.
I still do that occasionally, FYI.
Personal choice.
And then the coup de grace, the multiple bracelets,
just in case this look did not already have enough flair.
Now, as I was scrolling through the archives
of the style guide on the He Spoke Style website,
I noticed that a lot of the outfits
that I would place in this kind of try-too-hard category
were from the early days,
maybe the first couple of years of He Spoke Style.
So that kind of supports my theory
that this kind of thing happens very early on
in someone's style journey.
And the one thing that jumped out to me
as sort of a turning point in my own style
as I was scrolling through
is that there was definitely this point
where you can clearly see that I became more comfortable
with the concept of less is more.
The point where you discover
that you don't have to try so hard
is really the turning point
for every guy that gets into style
and actually gets to a level
where they've kind of actually figured it out.
Now, although I say that this mistake is unavoidable,
it's almost like this terrible rite of passage in some ways,
there are a few things I think you can keep in mind
to help kind of check yourself
as you go through this whole process.
I'm not saying that if you do this,
that you will miraculously skip through this phase,
though I hope that's the case.
But what it can do is just make you more aware of it
so you might be able to catch yourself a little bit
before going too far.
The first thing to think about and remember
is that less is more,
and subtlety, in my opinion,
is the most stylish choice you can make
any time for any occasion.
It doesn't mean you need to be a super minimalist,
but doing too much, you know,
the lapel flower, lapel pin, bracelets,
like all that stuff together
that I talked about already
is a dead giveaway of someone who is new to the game
and trying too hard.
There's a great quote by Coco Chanel who said,
before you leave the house,
look in the mirror and take one thing off.
Though in this situation we're talking about,
it might be better to take more than one thing off.
Now with that, there is a certain amount of confidence
you need to be okay with keeping it simple.
Peacocking is one thing,
that's not what we're talking about here.
Someone who's a peacock typically knows
exactly what they're doing and why they're doing it.
It makes sense for them.
But if you're a green, so to speak,
and you do all that stuff together,
I guarantee that inside somewhere
you will be questioning whether this is right.
And that kind of self doubt will definitely show
and project out into the world.
However, if you keep it simple,
if you keep it classic,
you can be super confident
in knowing that you look put together.
Next, avoid trending accessories.
I'm talking about things like lapel flowers,
wooden bow ties, the hex tie,
which I still honestly think was just some dude
trolling the entire online style community.
Novelty cuff links, novelty socks,
unless of course it's Christmas,
then it's totally okay to wear Christmas tree socks.
All of these things are basically designed
to capture attention very quickly,
and in some cases cheaply,
meaning like through a gimmick.
Gimmicks aren't stylish, period.
The reason this happens is,
what do you do when you make a commitment
to developing your personal style?
Yeah, you look online, you look on Instagram,
but you also pick up the latest copies of Esquire and GQ.
These magazines are always telling you what is trending,
and sometimes, sometimes their advice is not so good,
especially when it comes to these sorts of accessories.
Again, keeping it classic, never a bad idea.
Along those lines, another thing that happens
is that we think about the basic menswear color palette,
you know, your blues, your grays, your browns,
and people very quickly get bored with that
or think, oh, I'm going to be unique,
I'm going to add a pop of color.
I'm so sick of that phrase.
Now, color is fine, but what happens
in the scenario that I described
is that those pops of color start to overwhelm every outfit.
So it's okay to be okay
with the basic menswear color palette.
I'm not saying you have to be boring
and completely swear off color,
but if you find yourself thinking about your wardrobe
in terms of, oh, you know, I have a lot of blues
and grays and browns,
but you know what I don't have a lot of?
Purple.
Yeah, I should definitely get some purple
because I don't have it.
That is not the way to approach your wardrobe.
You don't need all the colors of the rainbow
to have equal representation.
You don't even need to have every single color.
Stick with the basics, add in some color here and there,
pocket squares and ties are good places to start,
and just be confident in that.
So the bad news, you're going to make this mistake.
I guarantee it.
The good news is that if you've watched this far,
you are now equipped with a few things to be aware of
to help you through what I really think is something
that is completely unavoidable.
The thing to remember is that you are not alone.
Lots of people before you have made this mistake,
myself included, many times,
and people will continue to do so.
It's fine.
We all go through it.
And now, unfortunately, there are lots of photos
that we can look back at and laugh at,
but also learn from.
Leave your comments below.
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And until next time, thanks for watching and stay tailored.
