Old School Romance vs Modern Dating: What We Miss

What's up, guys? Welcome to Off The Grid World Talk. I'm Dan. Hello! I'm Flea. And I'm Mia. So today we have a really cool topic for you guys. Aren't they always cool? We're going to be talking about old school dating. Dating! Give me that old school love. That was way too long ago, man. Because here's the thing. I get sad when I think about how people our age these days date. You get sad? Yeah. I get skit. And I got scarred. Triple S, yeah. All of those emotions. So then we got to thinking like, man, it was so much better back then. And I don't mean just like back in grade school, which I miss a lot of the things from grade school, which we're going to give you a list of. And I also miss a lot of the things like innocent dating back then. Yeah, I think the common theme, it was better because it was simpler. It was a simpler time. And I think also there is more respect given both ways. I really miss using a phone to call the girl's house. So true! And like all these, so no social media. So I had to call and be like, hi, I miss so-and-so or missed... Oh, dude, if I get the dad on the line, dude, I get so... Like I start like shaking. Sometimes I might just hang up. Yeah! No, but you would schedule it. Like I'm going to call you around... Like at school, you'd be like, I'm going to call you around 8. Like make sure you pick up. But it's normally the parents. It's normally the parents. And if they're cool parents, they'll mess with you a little bit. But if they're not cool, like you get really... No, that cannot happen with my parents. My mom would just kind of disregard the whole thing and be like, oh, yeah, he's your friend, right? Everyone's your friend. You're like, she's a friend. But why is that guy calling you? It's kind of denying the existence of it. But it's like, why is that guy calling you over and over again? Would she ever be like... No, we just didn't talk about it. That's how it goes in Asian families. You just don't acknowledge it. I remember my friend used to call, yeah, our home friend. And then my dad would be like, you have a friend called this calling you. And then he'd stay there and listen to me. Oh, that's the one! Oh, yes! And then I'd have to make up like, oh, yeah, I can study. Okay, bye. Oh, my gosh, you'd have like code lingo. Code lingo. And then he'd be like, what are you talking about? I'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally like making up my own conversation. Oh, my gosh. And then just be like, see you at school. Okay, so I know now we have Messenger, but that's not a new phenomenon because there was like MSN, AOL. Right, and that's for the States. We had MSN. MSN, yeah. I mean, I've used that. You know what? I used M-I-R-C, like that's even way back then. Yeah, yeah, there was another, yeah, like I-R-I-Q or whatever it was. I-C-Q. What the hell? You don't know these things. I miss that too because I miss like crafting messages, like actual thought out message. Because now it's just like, hey, what up? Pew, pew. Dear Molly, hey, get out of here. I don't want you reading my homework. Doesn't look like homework to me. When I think of kissing you, my heart beats like a symphony. I feel like before you actually had to think. Dude, and like when they popped up, you'd be like. Yeah. And then I would use the sign off so I can think of like. Oh, dude. A way to say hi. Yeah. Oh yeah. No, no, no. No, because when you popped on, it's like a notice, right? Yeah. So if you were on for a while and they didn't talk to you. You'd be like, oh my God. So you needed to like reintroduce yourself by like. Yeah. It's like. So I guess it's safe to say that back then, people used to put more effort into this, right? 100% more effort. This whole pre-dating stage. Think about it. Because you really have to impress the other person. Yes. You didn't have as many opportunities to meet people this fast. Versus today where like Facebook, you don't even really need to know the person. You could just be like a mutual friend and add everyone. Yeah. And then you put so much information, so many things about yourself online that everything is out in the open. There's no such thing as like finding out what this other person is like. Yeah, that's another thing. It's like when you go on dates, your whatever app you're using, whatever social media you're using, like your entire profile, all your likes and dislikes, what you're into is already like out there. Yeah. So I feel like when you go on a date, you already know so much about the person. That's what I'm saying. Like, so what do you go on the, then what happens? Because I haven't dated in a long time. So if I already know stuff about you, then what? It's like reiterating it? It's kind of like used as a way to make the other person, like you'll skew your questions already knowing the answer. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's so silly. Yeah, it is. Because it's like, I've done research on you. Whatever happened to just like cold, like a date out of the blue and then the mystery of like, so what do you like? What are your interests? I feel like I miss the conversational skills and actually getting to know somebody. Right? Because now. No, I miss the awkward silence. The awkward silence. What is that? Because it's like, what do I ask her now? Oh my God, I don't know what she likes. Oh my God, oh my God. Those were like beautiful. You're like nervous, scared. And like, you need those feelings, you know? Because now I feel like people, it's such a cop out now. It's like, oh, things are going well. You know what? See you later. I'm just going to go back on my Tinder or my Facebook. Oh my gosh, yeah. Or my dating site. Yeah. You know, but back then it's like, if you feel like it's not going well, you actually will try to like, you know, you kind of will think about the other person more. Yeah. Because you're like, okay, what can I ask them to get this, you know, ball rolling again? Because you can feel like, when it's just like, bam, bam. Five seconds feels like an eternity. Yeah, it does. And you take like the longest sip of eternity or like the biggest bite of eternity. You will actually try to sip slowly. Yeah. So it looks like you have something to do. Yeah. To fill the silence. And then you'll put your glass down and be like, no. Let's just say, I'm really just not a big fan of Jimmy Francis. Well, he's the reason I became a writer, but that's not important. It's water, man. But then also gives the guy time to like, cause what if he's really nervous? No, but that's how, okay, that's how I would like, kind of kill a guy. Like if they're able to surpass that. And even if it's bad, like follow a bad followup sentence, then I'd be like, at least you tried. Would you purposely, like, would you relish in like, this guy's crashing and burning? She would. Dude, how is he going to climb out of this one? No, I'm not that mean. I used to get given like a rose. Yes. Just for like no reason. For no reason? When you're on a date, like they'll just bring one to you. Very chivalrous. Yes. Like, why is it, why do people look down on it now? And the thing you mentioned about like, flowers and being chivalrous, I feel like nowadays, guys don't even know how to do that anymore. That's true. Okay, so for my first date, the guy, hip hop. Hip hop! He like drove to my place, picked me up. We went to dinner. Good job, Pat! Dude. And like, that was hard. Because that's a lot of like, investment. Yeah. That's like your entire night. You don't actually know where it's going. So I was like, okay, fine, whatever. But it turned out to be a good thing. Yeah. Yes, Pat. Good job. But I don't know if that would happen per se. I mean like, I get the whole thing with coffee dates, right? Because it's casual. You're not like, attached to it. If it doesn't go well, then you can bounce. If not, then it's like, whatever. But that's the thing. Like, we've become a society where, we look down on men, who try to go the extra mile. Cause thing, can you imagine? Okay. Is it that we look down on them? Or is it that it just doesn't happen? Well, it doesn't happen. You gotta ask why. Like how many men actually put that much effort? Cause I would argue that all girls would want that. Okay. I would argue that. But how come nowadays, men, one, they don't think to do old school dating. Like they just don't think to do it. And two, if they think to do it, I feel like, they'd be ashamed. Why? Why do you think that is? Okay. I think that, they look around, and then maybe their friends. Because they don't feel the need to. They don't feel the need to. Why? Because their friends are like, why would you go do that, man? I just met a girl at a bar last night, and we hit it off or whatever. Dude, can you imagine in New York city? Okay. Imagine this scenario. It's the worst here. You, you meet a guy, not on the dating app, not on the dating app. This is like old school, New York, dating scenario. You're already pretty lucky to begin with. Yeah. If you didn't meet them on an app. And not at the gym. Sorry. No. the gym. Like, no. I cringe when people are like, meet people at the gym. Like, you would be so taken aback. Yeah. Dude, you're, I don't even care if you think the guy's cute or not. You just be like, is this guy approaching me out of nowhere? Whatever happened to that? Okay, if that happened to you, would you be like, pleasantly surprised? At the gym? No, like on the street. if you were getting a coffee, or like, and then they just like, approach you. deliberate. I think I would be so scared by it. Yeah, I would run the other way. Dude, I would love that. I think, I think. You would love that? Yeah. I think because there's an accent of that, girls would really like it. Because I know it takes balls to do that. Like, their rejection rate is almost at a hundred percent. Right. But they still like, made the effort to. Yeah. But he's like, I'm out. But he could be a psycho. Oh my God. But what if that was your Prince Charming? And then you're like. The chance of that guy being my Prince Charming, is just too small. but think about it. Like, he couldn't not come up to you. with all odds, he still was like, no, I got to just say hi. And I'm, we're not talking about like, serial killers. Now, I want to know if guys will actually, plan out the entire date, or the entire night to do something. Or it's just like. I've been on, first dates, not knowing anything about the girl. And it would be like, dinner. It would be like, movie and dinner. And maybe even dessert. It's like, we both committed to four hours that evening. And there's no running away. No running away. And you, and to you guys, that's like, whoa, whoa. I mean like, you wouldn't mind if you knew, what you were getting yourself into. But I'm saying you don't. Like I. Okay. So like, I get it. But from us, it's like, our question is, well, what does he want out of dinner? Nope. That's what I'm saying. Innocent. No. See, that's why. How do we know you're innocent? Because, like, that's what I'm talking about. In an ideal world, right? You're in an ideal world. But not all guys, are going to want to, go to have dinner, just for the sake of, getting to know you. So, I'm saying, back, even when I was going to college, 2002, it was very known, that there was no expectations. Really? Yeah. I could take you out, and you don't have to feel like anything. Like, just have dinner with me. That's it. It was, you know what? This is, this is truly what I miss, is like, it was my responsibility, to woo you. Like. Ah. This is like. It is. Thank you for saying yes, and I'll take you out. I'll pay for dinner, whatever. Or if you want to go Dutch, it doesn't matter. But like, just give me that one chance. And if I don't wow you, it's fine. You don't have to go out with me again. Yeah. You know? But like, give me like, you know, four hours. now the image of a dinner date, has just so much like, pressure put on it. Yeah. And I do get like, so back in the day, your dinner date, was our coffee date. Exactly. Yeah. Don't put so much pressure on like, a dinner. If it's a dinner, it's a dinner. If it goes like, to shambles, then it's like. It goes to shambles. And then move on. You don't have to contact them again. I guess that's why like, I miss all these things, because the innocence allows you to, like, it was really innocent. You know? I feel like now, when you add in all the choice that you have, it's just like, ridiculous. And this is what I hear from like, my old roommate. She was like, in a very long term relationship. She broke up with the guy, and then back into the dating world. And then she started dating again. And like, only just started, you know, using all these like, new apps and stuff. And she was like, came back from a date one time, and was like, okay, so I went on like, three dates this week. None of them called me back. So I was like, just bewildered. So I called one of them back, and was like, hey, do you wanna, like, she still called, because she was like, old school, right? I was like, do you wanna hang out on Saturday? And he's like, yeah. And then, so afterwards, they were like, okay, so we have a date. But then she was saying, so if I, like thinking, if I never called, he would have never called me. And it's because like, maybe for the guy, they have like, so many options, anyway. They don't really feel the need to follow up on anyone, specifically. So for the girl, you're just like, kind of, sitting there, thinking, like, anything, really. Like, it could have been good, it could have been bad. Made it sound like, you're managing a whole sales pipeline. Yeah. You have all these prospects. Yeah. That's what it is. And that's horrible. Yeah, That's literally what it is. So, imagine if we were single, like, would you, how would you feel about, the current, dating, landscape? I think because, I'm like, really, I'm like, kind of, traditional, reserved. I can't play that game. Are you nervous? Are you saying, and you're like, fidgeting. I don't like grand gestures. I'm not saying, I'm going to show up with a rose, but I just be like, as chivalrous as I can, and not over the top. Okay, challenge. Yeah. Like, what would your bio be? My bio? On a profile. Go. All right. I'll tell you this right now. I won't, even, have a bio, because I'm not using, I am going, straight up old school. I am, going to approach, You're going to approach, some girls on the street, and be like, That's what I'm going to do. You have a nice smile. Can I have your number? I'm going to be, off Facebook. Takes confidence though. Yeah. It does. I'm going to have, no digital footprint. Like, good for you. Yeah. I would be so, kind of, I would be suspicious, about people who don't have, a digital footprint. That's the thing. Actually, I read a stat, about millennial dating. Like, a turn on, that like, you don't have a, have a Facebook account. Really? I'm just saying, I read it. This could be a topic, for another discussion. Cause I beg to differ. That's how I would do it. well, what are they hiding? Exactly. The fact that they, like, did they have such a, bad, like, something? That they had to erase, everything? Yeah. I'm hiding, how awesome I am. You need to find out, by going out with me. Can we do like, a social experiment? But that's mean, for the other person. Cause what if you like, Oh, that's true. You know what I mean? What if like, and then they're like, I really like you. Because everyone, who ends up meeting Mia, will love her. Oh, shush. And on that note. And on that note, guys, let us know what you miss, about the innocence, of old school dating. Yeah. Let us know, if we left out anything, let us know what things, you hate about nowadays, or you know, compare and contrast. Yeah. Any of your, queries, tribulations, anything you're going through, family, life, love. Because we have, Dr. Dan. And all the requests to, yeah. And, feelings with, Fal. They're ready to give ices. Thanks for watching dudes. Goodbye. Bye. You know like, on my first dinner date. With Pat. Picked me up. Uh-huh. We were in the city. Uh-huh. And then, I was like, to my friend, Yeah. Like, call me at 845. Yeah. And say, like, so I could like, escape. You did the bail out call? Yeah. But then she called. You escaped round. But, because it went well, when she called, I was like, you take the bus home. Yeah. Wait. So, it turned in like, 20 minutes? Yo, what's this? Yo Pat, what's your secret? No, that's what it sounds like. it was like an hour and a half into it. And it was, Whoa. That's like an epic comeback right there. But, Pat is a goat. Pat, you're the goat.