Why Men Don't Want To Have Children Anymore

I thought this generation was all the AMC, GME, gambling generation with crypto. Why don't you gamble marriage? I'm not saying I would ever want my daughter to be on OnlyFans, but I would like to know that she would be good looking enough to have OnlyFans. Oh, and God forbid my kid isn't that cute where it doesn't get a bunch of likes on Instagram. You guys don't understand from a macro perspective. There will be no more children. David, what do you mean you don't want to have kids? By the time Daddy was your age, I was married for 10 years and had one child. Dude, Dad, nowadays there's like Hinge, there's Wanderlust, there's Disillusions, there's Annivorsaries, there's E-Pals, there's Blueys, there's Plan B. There's like a lot of things, dude. Having kids and getting married is like of the past. What the hell are you saying? David, according to a new study, more and more men in America are less and less interested in having children. What's going on? Yes, according to a scientific study of 18,000 American men year after year, they are childless and their desire to have children has gone down steadily. Now, this just blew up on Reddit, Instagram, TikTok, whatever other platform. People are theorizing this reason, that reason. Social scientists are freaking out. They're like, oh gosh, we got to up the population to feed the infrastructure, guys. You guys don't understand from a macro perspective. There will be no more children. But you know, guys, of course, thinking more in the micro are like, dude, it's not even a good deal anymore. I could give you like 500 reasons why I don't want to have kids. You want to hear them? All right, David, before we get into the reasons, I do want to note that a lot of people had heard about declining birth rates in first world countries, such as like Japan. It's even happening in China, obviously all over Europe. So this is not new. However, I feel like this conversation is new because it's kind of directing it on men and why men don't want kids in particular. Right. It is sort of not just analyzing the couple factor, which is like a bunch of different articles. This was specifically centered on the economic, social and cultural and societal factors that impact men. Andrew, number one was feeling priced out. A lot of men, even that are firmly middle class, and I know that everybody identifies as middle class, and it really depends on the cost of living and your geography and whatever region you're living in. However, people thought, man, I can't afford a nanny. I ain't really near my granny because I moved for the warehouse for Amazon or for even higher up at Amazon. So I don't got my nannies. I don't got my grannies. Labor is super expensive. I just can't afford it. Like if I got three kids and I'm sending them to daycare, that's like a whole doggone mortgage. Yeah. And it doesn't help that inflation is going up faster than your paycheck, housing, rent, everything. It is crazy nowadays. I do think people also have a certain standard for a lifestyle that they're not really willing to sacrifice as opposed to previous generations. They were just like, man, I'll just live a boring life and just raise these kids. It's all good with me, man. I don't need this Kenyan coffee, bean, oat milk latte every morning. I don't need this iPhone, MacBook, Mac world thing. It's true. Life was simpler back then. Let's be real. Moving on, Andrew. This is more of a societal, but I guess it could also be economic and cultural. All three of them packed into one, Andrew. People are worried that half of all marriages statistically end in divorce. So now they're thinking about child payments. They're thinking about the court siding with the woman. I'm not saying, by the way, that that's true. I'm just saying that this is the perception. This is what I found on internet and the Reddit. And basically people are like, well, you know, in this anti-man culture, you know, if you get married and you're more than likely to end up in divorce, it's going to go down for you in the eyes of the court. And just it ain't going to be fun because another kid, guy's going to be watching your toddler take his first steps and you're going to be paying the bill. I do have a gripe with some of these divorce statistics because it's kind of like it talks about like, oh, you could have had a great marriage for 30, 40 years and then you get divorced and then you count as a divorcee. Right. But like, is that really a failed marriage? It does not quantify the quality of those years or like, you know, if it dragged on or whatever. And also like if you get married later in life, you are less likely to get divorced, especially within 10 years. So those are the statistics that a lot of people don't want to think about because obviously divorce statistics, it's kind of a blanket statement, but yes. Okay. We grew up knowing that a lot of marriages end in divorce. We're in our thirties. And I personally know like five people who are already divorced though. And some have kids and some do not have kids. So absolutely. I mean, you think about it. I thought this generation was all the AMC, GME, gambling generation with crypto. Why don't you gamble marriage? Number three, a lot of people are saying it simply comes down to opportunity cost. There's an opportunity cost that you can no longer travel, that you no longer get to do what you want. You can't even play the video games you want, even if your kids are by your side, because you got to attend to their, you know, daily needs and put into sleep and bedtime and things of that nature. Oh, you guys best what you got pets. You got to think about how your pets are going to interact with your kids. So basically people were like, well, you know, 2022, the entertainment choices are just way better. I can be like a yoga instructor in Tulum or I can be on Tinder in Kazakhstan. I just got every option available to me. Why would I just want to lock down? And like, it's like the 1950s. Yeah, David, how am I supposed to date a bunch of different women in different countries? If I have a kid at home, I can't do it. Number four, Andrew, people are talking about the culture changing men and women, gender roles being more centralized in the previous generation. Guys were very patriarchal. I'm not saying that that's good, but that's obviously clear that there was a trend back then to be made more patriarchal. Guys didn't even know how to change diapers and now they got to do everything. Yeah, I mean, I think that overall, there is a sense on the internet. There's a lot of like discouraged or broken men who are just like, man, these women all want this and they're just trying to date rich guys and they're trying to go on trips. And now I can't get the girl that I like. And now I'm feeling discouraged. I don't even want to get married. I don't want another generation. I don't want to put my seed out into the world. I get it that there's that feeling. I mean, I think a lot of those guys, it's a more complicated issue. You know, you're going to need, I don't know, maybe therapy or something else needs to enter your life so that you don't feel that way. But yes, I'm just saying that's a real feeling across. Yeah, I could see some of that. Cause let's say you're like an average looking guy who has an average job, but you're a good man. Don't commit crimes. You know, have a very average hobbies. Like you like watching football, but you work at the post office. I could see you being like, well, you know, the whole game's going against me. So I choose to opt out. I'm not even going to contribute to this. Andrew, it leads us to our next point. Andrew, that pressure of having a great kid. Some people are like, man, I need my kid to be Elon if he's going to be a businessman or my kid to be LeBron if he's going to go into the sports. So that's pretty hard. It's true, right? Like there is a culture of perfectionism. Obviously it's not everybody, but like people who went to undergrad, maybe grad school, they have this. Our sisters being raising our kids in Silicon Valley. There's very much some sense of this. Oh, and God forbid my kid isn't that cute where it doesn't get a bunch of likes on Instagram. Holy crap. Everybody's so worried about their kid. I get it because of all the social media pressures. You got social media babies. It's kind of a weird time to be a parent. I understand because like, you're like, oh, also a lot of people are like, oh, I got, I got to, my baby's not even born yet, but what Ivy league are they going to go to? What private school are they going to go to? I can't send them to public school. All the public schools are bad. I'm not saying I would ever want my daughter to be on OnlyFans, but I would like to know that she would be good looking enough to have a OnlyFans, should be that the choice that she decides with her life because you do need to have certain looks to do it. Well, you listen, if I'm going to have a kid, that kid's going to have the opportunity to become a TikTok star, Snapchat star, whatever type of star they want. Obviously not all parents think like this, but you know, there is some sense in like certain communities that yes, like everybody wants to have the coolest kid. That's the most popular, because now you see Ryan's toys reviews making 12 million a year. And last but not least, there is a general pessimism and cynicism about the macro direction of the globe and society, whether we're talking about nuclear wars, resource wars, border issues, tribalistic issues, even though obviously there's a lot of stats to say that the world is like at its most stable point, it fluctuates, it's up and down, right? Yeah, I do think that a lot of guys are feeling like, man, I don't want a daughter because my daughter's going to turn into this or I have a son, maybe what if he's not strong enough? And I mean, this is a feeling that applies to men and women because I even had an ex-girlfriend who was living in New York, who was educated, seemed like a very positive person. But even she said something like, ah, yeah, I just don't know if I want to bring a kid into this world right now. I was like, you know, if the world ends, it's not going to end like 10 years from now. It's going to be like, I give it 200 years. But yeah, maybe in 200 years, I don't know. At least maybe America is going to go down. I don't know, guys. Once the government started pouring lots of money into investigating colonies on Mars, that's when I knew I was just going to hit the bar and have no more kids. Or you could just be like, I want to raise the next generation that's going to rise against the machines and the Androids and the OSs. Well, that's more like how Elon's thinking because Elon's like trying to have 10 kids and his kids are going to like lead the rise against the robots. Yeah, but then the whole pressure of raising a kid who's going to rise against the robots, what if your kid doesn't become a hero? Well, you know what the weird thing about Elon is? His technologies that he's creating is going to contribute to the rise of the robots, but then he's going to have all the freedom fighters against the matrix too. Anyway, three, two, three, two, three, two, one. Anyway, guys, what is our major takeaways? I will say this as somebody who's in their 30s, I do not feel a ton of pressure to have kids. I do have people in my family who have kids. My nephews look great. I think they're having an amazing life. I think my sister is stressed taking care of them, but ultimately very, very happy. It brings a lot of fulfillment to her in her life and her situation, but one thing I've realized is that it's not true for everybody and it's on a case-by-case basis. And maybe the other factors, like we were saying environmental, political, sociopolitical, socioeconomic, it's just crunching it so more and more people are deciding for their specific case. It's not worth it anymore. Obviously, a lot of people are still going to have kids, but it just seems like a lot of people are deciding it's no longer worth it based on the mathematic algorithm of my equation. Obviously, Andrew, there was a lot of things said on the internet. You don't know how true they are. Like you said, divorce statistics even can be very complicated and nuanced. People with certain graduated degrees and certain waited till certain amount of years that they dated, they might have much lower divorce rates, especially if they're bonded by some sort of religious institution or whatever. But basically it makes me think about mom and dad when they first met in the 1970s. By the way, they're still married for like 40 plus years. Still married, very common for, I guess, like immigrants from our generation. I'm not saying it was everybody, but it's a common story to hear, especially in the Chinese church that we went to. Basically, it's crazy because they were like each other superheroes when they met, you know? Like they had a superpower that the other person needed and they weren't on online dating apps and they didn't even have like speed dating or anything like that in the 1970s. They were new immigrants in a country that had very, very few immigrants speaking the languages and eating the foods that they came from. So it's like, they had a great marriage. I'm not saying they didn't have ups and downs just like anybody else did, but they were each other superhero. And I just don't think in 2022, for the most part, I'm not saying for anybody, but like that's just not the situation you see as much anymore. People are not each other superheroes and that's why you see people making the wrong reads. They're getting married for the wrong reasons. Potentially, I'm not saying it to the wrong person for the wrong amount of time with the wrong timing. So you're saying that almost the superhero of your life is almost being spread apart in maybe different buckets, maybe possibly for some people amongst different people. So now your focus is not as much like, oh, I need this one person and maybe technology has been part of it. Maybe the way society has gone is part of it where I don't need you as bad as my parents needed each other. Yeah, and couple that with the fact that life is far less small-minded and parochial than it used to be. Now it's almost like you could just go travel around the world if you want. There's people who travel around the planet for a living. You see them on YouTube and Instagram all the time. At the end of the day, Andrew, I always think everything is a math equation for me comes down to, did you pick the right person? Did you guys have the right expectations? Did you guys have the right help in the capacities around you? And basically, how involved are you planning on being? You know what I noticed, Andrew, from some of our friends? From one to three years old, sometimes the guy is like, they're there, but they're kind of in cruise control because they feel like from one to three is more like the female's job. I'm not saying that it should be that way, but I'm just saying from what I noticed. And then from four to 10 or four to 17, it's like, man, the guy got to come in here and make sure you guys kids end up some good people contributing members of society and just bring glory to the family name. I mean, long story short is, I just think that everything is a mathematical equation, Andrew, and the juice got to be worth the squeeze. And a lot of people in 2022 are like guys that don't already have children. They're deciding that the juice might not be worth the squeeze for their situation. Do you think the survey is kind of funny that they only surveyed childless men? Because it's kind of like, if you don't have something already, I guess you're not really going to want it. But I guess it just goes to show you the trend already. It's like if you don't collect Jordans currently and someone's like, hey, do you want to collect Jordans? And you're like, well, no, because I don't collect Jordans right now. I didn't make that decision. Right, that sounds like that's going to be expensive, take a lot of care. I'm going to have to follow all these accounts to not hit on sneakers and be all frustrated. I mean, Andrew, what are your overall takeaways? Yeah, my overall takeaway is I do think, depending on how you feel, that you do have a duty to this world and this society if you're a good person. If you are a good, educated, smart person and you think you can raise your kids right, maybe you should have kids because maybe the world needs more of you. Because, and this is not only because of this movie, but this movie really summarized it for me, is the beginning scene of Idiocracy. If you've ever seen this movie, it's hilarious. Just look up the clip on YouTube. I'll leave the link down below. It basically shows that more and more of dumb, trashy people are having kids in the world. And then they are actually populating the earth while all the smart and upper middle class people are like, oh, we're not ready to have a kid. So then eventually in like 500 years from now, only descendants of the dumb families are alive. And so it's like a hilarious movie. Obviously, like, is it really happening right now? I don't know, but it's just a way to think about it. Anyway, guys, let us know what you think in the comment section below. Like we said, scientific study, 18,000 people surveyed. Childless men have no desire to have children. I do think an interesting study would have been somebody who does have one kid. Do they want a second kid or a third kid? That might be better as a more better scientific control to just provide more context for this answer. But anyway, let us know what you think in the comment section below. You guys know, HopHopBoys, not scared of the big topics. And until next time, we out. Peace, leave a like.