Men DON'T Commit To The Woman They LOVE Most… They Commit To THIS Instead

A man doesn't commit to the woman he loves the most. He commits to the woman he feels responsible for. That's the part nobody ever told you. He can love you, text you every day, sleep next to you, and still never claim you. Because love makes a man feel something, but responsibility makes him do something. There's a switch inside of every man that decides whether you're the woman he enjoys or the woman he builds his life around. Today I'm going to give you the seven principles that flip that switch. Number seven is the one that finally woke me up and got me to propose to my wife, and most women are breaking at least three of these right now without even knowing it. I'm Brody Boyd, and together with my wife, Antia, we've been helping thousands of successful women for over 20 years combined to get a loving, long-term, and committed relationship with a man they want fast. Let's get right into it. First, what is commitment actually? The oldest definition of the word commit is to entrust, to place something precious into someone's care. So when a man commits to you, he isn't signing a contract. He's accepting custody of your heart, your safety, and your future. Commitment is not a feeling, it's a weight a man picks up on purpose. Healthy masculine energy is responsibility energy, first for his own life, then the relationship, then his woman, then the family they build together, which gives you a free test right now. A man who won't take responsibility for his own life will never take responsibility for yours, so don't build a future on that man. But here's a catch. You cannot force a man to pick up that weight. Nagging, negotiating, and project managing all backfire. In the old fable, the sun and the wind bet on who could get a traveler to take his coat off first. The wind blasted him, and he just gripped his jacket even tighter. The sun simply shined at him, and he ended up taking his jacket off on his own. The masculine takes responsibility, the feminine inspires him to do so. Every day with your man, you are either the wind or the sun. These seven principles will make you shine like the sun with him every single day. Principle number one, give him a job he can win. At his core, a man craves a clear job he can win at. In a relationship, that job is to lead, provide, protect, and cherish. But watch what women actually do. They beg a man to step up while keeping every ounce of the authority. They plan the date themselves, they edit the plan, they handle the problem, then supervise how he handles his own problems. The man is supposed to lead the dance, but you've got him in a headlock. Responsibility and authority also require each other. If he's responsible for everything but allowed to decide nothing, that's not a relationship. That's an unpaid internship. His masculine reads it instantly, I'm not actually needed here. And a man will never commit to a place where he isn't needed. So here's what that actually looks like in real life. Instead of, I found a place, I made the reservation for seven, and I already sent you the parking instructions. Instead of that, you say, I'd love to go out this Friday, let me ask what you think about that. And then, and this is the hard part, you don't edit it. He picks the restaurant and you don't say, oh actually. He takes the long way and you don't say, you should have gotten off the freeway. A man learns whether he's allowed to lead in about four seconds, and it's usually those exact four seconds. Give him the destination and let him choose the road. Correcting his route in real time is not a relationship. It's a behind-the-wheel driving test at the DMV, and I seriously doubt that anyone in history has ever fallen in love during one of those. And the reverse is also true. If a man wants authority over you without taking responsibility for your well-being, that isn't leadership. That's a dictatorship, and that's a situation that you'll need to walk away from if that dynamic doesn't shift. Principle number two, stop mothering the man that you want to marry you. Mommy energy and wifey energy are two completely different frequencies. In mommy energy, you take control. You manage his tasks, his calendar, his decisions. You remind him. You check. You follow up. In wifey energy, you step back and you trust him to handle it. And here's the sting that comes with that. Mommy energy is masculine energy. Mothers protect, provide, and lead. That's God's design for raising children. It's not God's design for romance. Mother your man, and you become the parent, and he becomes the child. You know exactly how this sounds. Did you eat today? Did you forget your dentist appointment? Did you ever text your mom back? Did you book the flight yet? Did you? You went from sexy nurse to school nurse real quick. So here's the practical version. Say the thing one time and then let it go. Instead of the fourth reminder about the flight, you say it once. I'm so excited for this trip. May I ask if you can let me know when it's booked so I can plan around it? And then you say nothing else. And you go live your life. If he books it, wonderful. If he doesn't, then you just learned something real about him, and that's worth more than a booked flight. And the things that are genuinely his, his work, his family, his health, his friendships, those were never yours to carry at all. Be the lady in the streets and the freak in the sheets, not his mom in the streets and his accountant in the sheets. Because the more you carry, the less he feels inspired to carry himself until you're hauling the entire relationship while he grows more and more passive. You didn't inspire his responsibility. You repossessed it. Principle number three, respect him into rising. Respect is to a man's commitment what oxygen is to fire. Ephesians 533 says, husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands. Notice it commands each one to give exactly what the other starves without. Women most want to be cherished and adored. Men most want to be trusted and respected. A great rule of thumb with this to help is to never tell, always ask. Telling is for employees, asking is for a man you admire. Take out the trash and could I have some help with the trash tonight? Gets the same trash bag to the same curb, but one shrinks him, the other turns him into your hero. Here's a second one that almost nobody does, and it might be the most powerful thing in this entire video, brag about him when in front of other people. At dinner with friends say, you should have seen how he handled the whole mess with my car last week. Then watch his shoulders, a man will run through a wall for a woman who makes him look good in public and do it behind his back too, because it always finds its way home to him. Respect's evil twin is the fix him project. Every fix him project he detects says one thing to him, she doesn't respect who I am. This isn't build a boyfriend and he's not a teddy bear, he's a man and no man has ever committed to a woman who treats him like an easy bake oven or an erector set. Goethe put it this way, treat a man as he is and he stays as he is. Treat a man as he can be and he becomes it. That's the whole plot of Beauty and the Beast. One woman refused to see a monster and the beast became a prince. Your respect doesn't describe your man, it helps build him towards that in a real way. Principle number four, appreciate what you want repeated. A healthy man gets his sense of value from making a woman he loves happy and the only way he knows it's working is seeing his effort is landing on you. So your appreciation isn't just a nicety, it's his paycheck. The masculine gives, the feminine receives and your receiving is what completes his giving. A man whose effort disappears into a void stops making the effort. Write this one down, what gets appreciated gets repeated, what gets criticized gets defended and what gets ignored quietly dies. So here's the actual skill and it's a small one that changes everything. Appreciate the intent, not the execution. If he brings you a coffee and gets the order completely wrong, you say, you thought of me on your way to work, thank you. If he tries to fix your problem when you're just wanting to be heard, you say, thank you for wanting to take care of that for me. He plans a date and it turns out kind of mediocre, you say, I love that you planned this for us. Because if you always just correct his execution, he will eventually stop trying. If you thank him for the intent, he will be more likely to try again and try harder to And out loud, general appreciation could also sound like this, thank you for taking such good care of me or you're my hero. That is not flattery. Flattery praises what isn't there. Appreciation catches what is there, even when it's small and imperfect and shines a light on it. Be the sun, not the wind. Watch what a man does when his effort actually lands on a woman. He usually will double it. Principle number five, hand him your heart, not the verdict. At some point, he is going to hurt you, whether he meant to or not. And in that moment, you have two options. Option one sounds like, you always do this. You never think about me. Option two sounds like, I'm feeling sadness right now. Option number one makes him the defendant and a man on trial doesn't step up. He lawyers up. Your honor, I caught the defendant looking at an Olympic bikini model on Instagram and he didn't even apologize for it. That's a case and a judgment. Cases get defended, hearts get answered. Your heart opening instead, hands him a problem that only he can solve and solving it makes him your hero. Blame inspires defense. Vulnerability inspires responsibility. Early on in our dating phase, after a week where I'd barely given Antia any real attention, she didn't guilt trip me and she didn't go cold. She looked at me and said, a part of me wants to manipulate you right now. And I was floored. And I leaned in and asked her more about it. And she told me plainly what she wasn't happy with and I fixed it. One authentic and vulnerable sentence did more than a hundred arguments could have. Here's an exact script that we teach in our Magnetic Feminine Communication course for when he says he'd call and then he didn't. You say, may I share something with you? He says, sure, what's up? You say, I feel sadness. And then he says, why is that? And then you say, because when I didn't hear from you last night, I started telling myself a story that I'm not a priority to you and I'm not sure what to do. No accusation, no lecture. And notice the three moving parts, because this is what makes it work anywhere. You ask permission. You named one feeling, not five. And you told him the story that your brain is telling you instead of the verdict that you've already reached conclusively. Then you stop talking and you let him carry it from there. Peter once says that a man can be won over without a word Now gentle does not mean being silent. You can and absolutely should bring things up first. Just bring it up with your heart first, not with your judgment and a verdict first. Principle number six, own your half of the weight. Now this one separates the women that men commit to from the women who men quietly resent. Everything so far lets him carry more. And a man can genuinely carry an enormous amount of your world, probably a lot more than you think he could. Your safety, your provision, your direction, the emotional climate. But no man can breathe for you, eat for you, sleep for you, or do your healing for you. A man can carry a woman, but he cannot live her life for her. Your health, your self care, your friendships, your walk with God, those are your responsibility. And here's the beautiful paradox with this. The more you take responsibility for what's actually yours, the more a healthy man will feel inspired to take more responsibility for everything else that he can do for you. Now here's a question that I get constantly. Should a man be responsible for your emotions? And here's my answer. He is responsible to your heart, but not for your heart. He owns the conditions, the safety, the consistency, how he shows up when you're feeling something, but you own what you do with the feeling. If your emotions run you, or if they get aimed at him like a heat-seeking missile, there's nothing stable for him to be responsible to. Remember, there are no ugly emotions, only ugly behaviors. And with your own mistakes, if you disrespected him, let him down, or embarrassed him in front of people, own it cleanly. I apologize for being disrespectful when I, and then share exactly what you did. No excuses stapled on to the end. We call it cleaning up your side of the street. One of our private coaching clients, Holly, was on day 59 of our Magnetic Feminine 90-Day Challenge. Her husband had been gone for over a year and refused to even meet with her. At one breakfast, when they finally did meet, she read to him four specific apologies. Four times he said, apology accepted. Then he began opening up and sharing more deeply, she said, than in 14 years of living together. One clean apology reopened a door that years of pressure couldn't do. But here's the important balance with this. The doormat apologizes for everything, up to and including her own existence. The bitch apologizes and takes responsibility for nothing. The queen, however, owns exactly what's hers and not one ounce more. And your feminine intuition will often tell you which is which. Ownership is contagious. Own your half like a queen and watch how much heavier of a load he will volunteer to then carry for you. Principle number seven, let the weight be real. This is the last principle and it's the one that makes all the others land. If you receive every dropped ball and fill every gap that he leaves, the weight never actually rests on him. You've become his airbag, his alarm clock, and his second chance factory. The internet loves to say, if he wanted to, he would. But that's only half true. The grownup version of this is, if he's allowed to feel the real responsibility and authority of being your man and the real possibility of losing you, then he will. So three things have to be true. One, you let him drop the ball sometimes and you don't catch it. He forgets to book the thing so the thing doesn't happen and you don't quietly fix it at 11 o'clock at night. Two, you let the gaps stay open long enough for him to actually notice them because silence is often information. And three, your standards need a spine. Until he has actually claimed you, you keep your life full and you keep your options open. Not as punishment, not as a game, just as the truth. Your quiet freedom to walk away at any time is what makes his staying mean anything at all. I met Antia in Waikiki and on our first date on the beach under the Hawaiian moon, I told her that she was the girl from my story, which was the vision of my future that I've been writing down every single morning. And then I casually dated her for three months without ever having the exclusivity conversation or committing to her with a lot of my old avoidant patterns still running me. So what woke me up? Honestly, it was when I realized that she was still dating other men. I hated it and I couldn't argue with it because I hadn't claimed her. No punishing, no pressuring, she just kept her life full while I made up my mind. That weight landed on me like a piano. Within days, I asked her on the same beach to be my girlfriend. Months later, I proposed and three months after that, we were married. She never once chased me. She just let the weight be real. So here's the truth deep underneath all seven of these principles. This was never about managing a man into behaving. It's about becoming the woman around whom a man wakes up. He takes the responsibility, you inspire it. One of our clients, Esther, a single mom of four, watched her man get down on one knee on her birthday with a proposal and say, I want you to know that my intentions are serious. I'm planning a future with you and you are safe by my side. That is what commitment actually sounds like, not butterflies, but responsibility. So be the son and watch him pick up the weight like it's the honor of his lifetime. And if you'd like to discover the next best step for inspiring his full commitment and devotion in your specific situation, make sure to take our free love quiz to get your top recommendation for a loving, long-term and committed relationship with a man you want fast. Go to our website, magnetizeyourman.com or click on the link in our bio or in the description or comments below to get that now. Hope you enjoyed the content, much love, and I'll see you in the next video.