Warm Glow: Kindness that Expands Happiness

Iswahyudi

"Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver." —Barbara De Angelis

A 71-years-old man named Sadiman tirelessly works planting bayan trees on a hill in Wonogiri, Central Java, Indonesia. It's not productive crops he plants but banyan trees. He does it driven by memories of his childhood when the forest was lush and provided abundant water to the surrounding residents. With the rampant deforestation, those memories vanished. Grandfather Sadiman and the local residents faced a water crisis. In his advanced age, the strong desire to contribute to the environment by planting numerous banyan trees in the deforested area continues to burn. He even sold his goats to buy banyan tree seeds. He longs for the days when the forest was dense, and water was plentiful, becoming a reality. His efforts span decades. Initially, many ridiculed his seemingly crazy and useless actions. As the banyan trees he planted grew, springs emerged everywhere. The local residents understood that what he did was for the sustainability of water resources that support their drinking, sanitation, and agriculture. Grandfather Sadiman is indeed a visionary ordinary person.

Why does Grandfather Sadiman do this? Is he expecting a salary? No. He contributes to the environment and the surrounding community out of the kindness of his heart. A memory of lost environmental sustainability that he wants to revive. That's Grandfather Sadiman's brand of happiness. Giving without expecting anything in return, just like the nature give life and all its inhabitants. Grandfather Sadiman must be a happy person, and his life becomes meaningful to the surrounding residents, setting an example for many to cherish nature, which always provides life and sustenance.

The story of kindness also emerges from Endang Yuli Purwati, a woman born in Madiun, East Java, Indonesia, on July 1, 1959, who once served as an Islamic Religion Teacher at SMA Negeri 4 Bandung, caring for dozens of abandoned children as if they were her own. From 1984 to 2004, this mother of four had already fostered and educated 54 orphaned or underprivileged children. Eight of them became graduates, and one even became a doctor.

How did this story begin? In 1984, she hired a junior high school graduate as a caregiver for her children. The girl worked diligently and expressed a strong desire to continue her education to high school. Yuli helped her, financing her education until she graduated from high school. Yuli felt joy and happiness in realizing the dreams of her child's caregiver. Afterward, she became addicted to the joyful moments of helping others. She started doing the same for the less fortunate children in her neighborhood, including a newspaper boy who wanted to go to school.

One day, amidst her busy schedule caring for foster children in 2001, Yuli became pregnant with her fourth child. Due to previous health issues and a coma during the birth of her third child, the doctor recommended an abortion. Yuli firmly rejected the advice and chose to keep her baby. She convinced herself that she and her baby would be fine. Her conviction came true, and she gave birth in good health.

Through life and death challenges, she became even more addicted to acts of kindness. She wanted to express her gratitude when watching TV reports about babies abandoned by their parents. Since then, she always felt a calling whenever she heard news of abandoned children. On February 23, 2004, she received her first abandoned baby boy, given to her to be raised. Following that, on September 16, 2004, she received a baby boy, then on September 19, a baby girl, on October 29, another baby girl, and on December 10, yet another baby girl. "We got five babies, and they just came. I'm also confused about why those babies came on their own," she said.

To finance her acts of kindness, she started a small food stall. She and her retired state-owned enterprise husband did not want to ask for funds from anyone, whether donors or by setting up a donation box, although, without their knowledge, there were often generous benefactors who secretly helped. She also did not publicize what she had done. "Because we consider it the same as exposing the shame of those who gave birth to unwanted babies. We love the presence of those babies," she said. Moreover, her husband did not allow them to put up a sign for a foundation or orphanage in front of their house. The reason being that it could affect the psyche of her foster children. "We think the children don't need a sign, don't need an orphanage, but they need a mother and father," she said.

She wholeheartedly cared for the babies and children with love and openness. She treated them the same as her biological children. Regarding clothing, for example, she never made distinctions. If one was bought new clothes, then all of them would get new clothes. Thankfully, her biological children never complained.

Yuli admits that she does everything because she wants to open her heart to underprivileged and abandoned children. "My house is actually just ordinary, not too spacious. But I can do all of this. What matters is not expanding the house but expanding our hearts," Yuli said. In Yuli's case, it is proven that genuine kindness makes the happiness of the doer limitless.

A different story from Grandfather Sadiman and Endang Yuli Purwati, who care about water and abandoned and less privileged children. He is Toni Rüttimann, a Swiss man who has built 862 suspension bridges in 13 countries, benefiting approximately 2,362,900 people where the bridges were constructed. Toni Rüttimann works independently with less privileged communities, using recycled materials and without charging fees for his work. Toni obtains used materials for building bridges from donating companies. He contacts local governments for permits and transportation assistance and organizes residents to build with him. He forms a small team consisting of local welders and looks for "bridge-building partners" who will be taught the necessary skills and later perform maintenance on the built bridges.

Toni does not have a permanent home; he always carries everything he needs in two bags. One bag for personal items and another bag for a laptop and some tools for his work. Toni once said, "My life is dedicated to building bridges for people in the world. My dream is not just to build bridges but to heal wounds, alleviate suffering, bring together everyone from different backgrounds to create something beautiful, something good."

"The strength of these bridges comes from the hearts of the people who make them with their own hands and also from the invisible network of people from all over the world who have provided the real support needed to make this effort successful. This strength comes from those involved. This hope's power emerges when you decide to determine your own future, to change lives and shape the world around you."

The kindness Toni performs, on the surface, is merely building physical bridges that connect one remote place to another. But, essentially, what Toni does is connect Toni, the residents, and the world to a greater happiness. Acting out of kindness for kindness, and subsequently, happiness will flow continuously, much like the Ganges River water that continues to flow over time. Perhaps we wonder why kindness practitioners like Grandfather Sadiman and Endang Yuli Purwati feel 'addicted' to doing good? This is what is known as the warm glow effect. It can happen because when we do good to others, our bodies produce more endorphins (the happiness hormone), which are then released as an internal reward or self-appreciation. A study on warm glow was conducted by psychologists from the University of Sussex in 2017¹, examining 1150 participants engaged in acts of kindness toward others.

Scientists in this study stated that there are two types of kindness toward others: altruistic kindness and strategic kindness. Altruistic kindness is an attitude or instinct to pay attention to and prioritize the interests and well-being of others, while strategic kindness is the opposite. In essence, altruistic kindness is kindness that does not expect repayment or reward, while strategic kindness is kindness that expects rewards from others.

The research results showed that both altruistic and strategic acts of kindness activate the brain's reward area. This happens because that area will use more oxygen. However, the warm glow effect reaches its peak when someone performs altruistic acts of kindness. Doing acts of kindness without expecting anything in return not only activates the brain's reward area but also activates another area of the brain, namely the subgenual anterior cingulate cortex. This indicates that when we act kindly without expecting something in return, our brains will be more active in a different way than when we act kindly strategically.

Acting kindly strategically can even make us feel worse and reduce the feeling of warm glow within ourselves. For example, when we help a friend expecting money in return, our friend may view us negatively, and there is even a small chance for them to ask for our help again.

From a spiritual and religious perspective, both from the West and the East, planting one seed of kindness will reap manifold kindness, much like one grain of rice that yields 7 stalks of rice, each with 100 rice grains. That's the analogy."

1)Hartmann, P., Eisend, M., Apaolaza, V., & D'Souza, C. (2017). Warm glow vs. altruistic values: How important is intrinsic emotional reward in proenvironmental behavior?. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 52, 43-55.