What can you control? | Phoenix Live Show #motivation

Hello and welcome to Phoenix Live Show and Phoenix 92.5. My name is Blessing Kure and I will be your host on the show that runs up until 11 30 a.m. Well before we delve into the show today, a bit of housekeeping on what you could expect from the show this Saturday morning and just something to get you prepared because I know some of us like to know what is coming and if you're like me who fast forwards to the end of the movie to see the end and then starts No, I'm not creepy guys. Don't look at me like that. Okay, so we will have a chat with Paul Fleming, the head coach of Infinite Self Coaching. Good morning. Good morning, Paul. How are you today? Pretty good blessing. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for joining us today. We're just going to skip the side quests corner. I'm hoping you've you're going to explore side quests in your neighborhood here in Blanche. And if you've been listening to Phoenix FM, then you have some pretty interesting things already that you're walking with. So we're going to go straight into the discussion. But before then, a little about Paul. So Paul, as I said, is the head coach of Infinite Self Coaching and his work is around personal development, yoga. He's a yoga life coach. He's a yoga coach and a life coach. Apologies. And he helps people find purpose, motivation and balance in life. And today we're going to be talking about what we can control. We're in September already. The year has flown by. Just the other day I was saying, Happy New Year. And now we're in September. So please, it feels like we're losing control, Paul. Yeah, this is why we have you here. Blessing, I think this is one of the key things that causes a lot of people stress and that feeling of lack of control over the circumstances or their situations in their lives. Yeah. So one of the things I've been considering lately and developing is the concept of controlling the controllables. It's not a new concept. And people have known this for thousands of years. And it has also been codified into a practice in different areas of business, military life, etc. And as a way of helping people feel that they have control over situations or circumstances that might overwhelm them or seem vast and big and the scale of them seems impossible. And what that does when we control the controllables is it helps us feel like we have a degree of control and it changes the energetic nature of the experience. We feel less stressed. We understand and see the scale of what we're facing. But we also feel like we're taking small bites out of that big problem. So is it like stepping away from the problem and looking at it externally or just breaking it down into bite sizes? Both. I will always say that's a yes and no answer. There are elements of both. Oftentimes, when we take that step back and look at the scale of it, that's what causes the anxiety and fear. We feel like something is too big, too intense, too difficult, and it overwhelms us. Okay, I see where I was going No, not absolutely. I mean, we do have to take that step back to see the scale of something. But then comes a mindset change. Then we have to take stock of who we are, what we have to what we have in our backpack, if you like, to use an analogy, and to deal with the scale of the problem that we're looking at. And if you want to eat an elephant, you have to take small bites. I'm just recently back from Spain. I was over in Spain walking for five and a half weeks, 850 kilometers across Spain there on the Camino Santiago. I brought this question with me to see how it would work. One of the things when you're on a journey like that is you're met with the scale of the landscape, the scale of the distances you've got to traverse, the difficulty of that trek. And then you're dealing with things that are beyond your control, like intense weather conditions, 35 to 40 degree heat. And all of which when you look at them, can seem enormous difficulties, enormous challenges. But what can we control in situations like that? Well, I can't control the weather, but can I control my response to the weather? Am I consuming enough water, staying hydrated, making sure I'm not getting dehydrated and overcome by the intensity of the weather, taking regular breaks, making sure that proper head covering, you know, skincare that that shields you from the intensity of the weather. These are things that you can control in the face of difficult situations. And it allows you then to move through that problem issue that you're facing or challenge that you're facing. So where do we get this awareness from? And I will always say that self-awareness is probably our foremost power. But the problem is that we're engaged too much in the thick of things. When we become aware of our, I suppose, everybody will have witnessed the recent solar eclipse. And when we witness something on that scale, we realize how minuscule we are in the universe. But within our own lives, everything is big. Every issue, every challenge is big. So when we recognize that in the scale of things, our problems aren't that big. So we just have to have that recognition of the scale of things. And that allows us to see the problem, the issue or the challenge. Then we've got to reflect inwards. What have I got? What can I lean into? What have I got to rely on? What tools have I got? And most of that comes from crafting that toolkit ourselves. Will the toolkit be for the mind or for the body? Oh, absolutely both. Because, so for example, if we look at energy, for example, we all need energy to get up and get out of bed and do things. If our body is tired, obviously, that makes the challenge of the day a lot harder and a lot more difficult to face. If our mind is tired, if our energy levels are low. So on several different scales or in different layers, we have to manage ourselves, manage our energy. So we've got to keep our body fit and healthy. We've got to cleanse our energy and make sure the energy that we're processing is positive energy. We've got to look after our mental health, of course. We're often mistaken in thinking that sleep is the answer. You know, of course, our body needs sleep. But the sleep patterns that we're engaged in, in the modern living, we're not designed to be awake for 16 hours and sleep for eight. That's an artificial construct of the Industrial Revolution. So people could work long shifts in factories. The natural order of things is that we engage in a bit of effort for a couple of hours and we take short rests in between. So like naps? Naps or just a rest. Generally, our energy is drained by certain things, like your social battery could be drained by being around people all day. Your rest could be just to be on your own, not necessarily sleep, just to be on your own, recharges your social battery. Being on your own or isolated all day, your rest could be to be around activity and people. That recharges you. Yeah, I do find that sometimes when I'm away, like when I'm interacting with people, being front facing for a long time, I would need like a few minutes, maybe not up to an hour, just like a few minutes to sit in silence and in isolation and just be ready to people again. And this is where I say awareness is our foremost power. We've got to tune into ourselves. What's draining me on a daily basis? Is it my job? Okay, let's say your job is technically difficult. Well, then the recharge for that might not necessarily just go home and crash out and veg out on the sofa because that can create a negative pattern. It could be that, you know, you leave your cubicle in your office and you're engaged in, you know, kind of heavy technical stuff for all day and you go for a walk in the park and enjoy nature. That gives you an energetic cleanse from what has been draining your battery. So being aware of all of these things and having that internal reflection is a huge, huge part of developing skill sets that help us deal with the difficulties of modern life and the stresses. And it allows us then to see what the controllables are because we start to notice patterns. We start to notice the things that cause us stress, that elevate our stress levels when we're engaged in certain situations or in the company of certain people. And we see the patterns. And then we start to look at, well, what have I got to counter this? You know, if I feel stressed being front facing with a lot of people all day, okay, well then I need that five minutes walk or I need to get out and grab a coffee and come back in just a little bit of distance and space. And that's taking a small bite out of that big elephant that helps you come back and recharge. And it's a controllable. If you ignore that or if you're unaware of it, well, then the scale of what you're dealing with on a daily basis will overwhelm you naturally. And this is the difficulty. And I think in the earlier conversation we had before we came on air, we were speaking about that whole idea of getting to know yourself, your true nature and crafting it. So inevitably, life will send us these problems and issues. Yes, that's life. That's life. That's what we said. And inevitably, it will happen at the time when everything is going great. Just when you think everything is going great, life is going to throw a hand grenade or a spanner into the works. And oftentimes, it can be quite big, like a death in the family or a loss of a job or a health issue. And unless we have prepared our toolkit to deal with that, us going around thinking these things aren't going to happen. That's just the nature of life. There's nowhere that we're guaranteed a good and safe life. It's just life. But if we are preparing our toolkit, how do we then ensure we don't end up being pessimistic? Because that feels like we're going to constantly be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yeah. And I suppose pessimism, again, we need to be aware if we are becoming pessimistic. And as I said earlier on, mindset is important. And when you recognize that you have a pessimistic attitude, you've got to, again, do something about that. We've got to go out there with a positive outlook. And I think what happens is over time, we realize that when we take these direct actions and when we develop ourselves and personal development is a huge thing for me, we can get positive results. It doesn't always go our way. But what happens is we start to develop this feeling that we have a degree of control. And this leads back to the initial question is that oftentimes we're overwhelmed and feel that we're not in control of the things in our lives. And we're effectively not. There's so much outside of our control. But what we can control is our response to these things, good or bad. So when we feel that we have a response that gives us some degree of result, well, then we're less overwhelmed. We don't feel as beaten and battered by life. And as I said, you know, that feeling of control and moving forward is one of the keys to a happy life. OK, so you've given us a couple of steps on how you could feel less or feel less overwhelmed by the problem and feel more in control. Is there a way that like internal or affirmations or internal mental work that someone can do to? And I know that's a whole topic of mental resilience, but that also kind of play. So without maybe fully going into mental resilience, but that could be another day's topic. How would you advise that we train our minds to be more in control? And it's not something that we we're we're completely unaware of. So let me put it to you this way. And most people listening here to our show today will have had some kind of break or holiday throughout the summer. And they will put a degree of planning into that. Yes. And I know a lot of kids now are going to exam years in school and their parents will be looking at, OK, I need to provide extra support here, get some grounds for the Johnny and such and such a subject. And they'll invest resources in that. So why is it we don't do this in terms of our personal development and our preparation for life? We only do it in certain aspects of our life. Somebody wants to get on a fitness program, so they'll they'll they'll hire a fitness coach or join a gym or invest in a program. And somebody wants to go on an education path. They'll plan out which courses they're going to take, which which college courses they're going to attend, which causes they're going and all of the planning around that. Well, think about how little planning we do for living just on a daily basis. So it's not that we don't have the skills or ability to do it. It's just that we don't we only do it in certain aspects of our lives. So I would advocate that people would and are certain the question really was, what can we do? Yeah. And it all comes back to self-reflection, inward looking and having the space to do that. So I advocate bookending your day. So when you wake up in the morning, having a way of reflecting on what you want to do for the day at the end of your day, reflecting on whether when you put your head on your pillow, whether you live that day. I mean, my kids over the years, I've always heard them say, oh, Yolo, you only live once. I say, well, no, you only die once you get to live every day. So we've got to decide on a daily basis, how is my day going to be? So and, you know, you have to leverage that off something that you've done yourself. So for me, I have a personal constitution. So I have five tenants in that and I wake up every morning and I sit and look at them and I say, OK, so, for example, one of the one of them is to honor my family. Another one is to civilize the mind, but make savage the body. So I look at that and I go, OK, how can I do that today? Civilize the mind. OK, I've got to put some effort into developing my mind, make savage the body. I've got to put some effort into my physical health, my physical well-being. So already I'm planning out my day based on a decision I've decided about how I'm going to live. And then at the end of the day, I can reflect on that. So I put my head down and go, OK, did I meet my own expectations today? Did I live my day the way I decided? And when the answer is yes, I sleep very soundly with a sense of control over my life, still knowing that there are so many things outside of my control. If the answer is no, however, if the answer is no, tomorrow is a new day. I can set an intention. OK, I didn't hit the mark today. Yeah, but I'm doing that with awareness because we're not always going to hit the mark. This is life. And I can wake up the next day or set my intention the night before. OK, well, I need to make a concerted effort tomorrow in that area because something got in the way today and the best of intentions. I could decide, OK, I'm going to do an hour in the gym every every day. But something comes up. One of the kids rings, the car is broken down. Now my gym plans are out. Now I either fit them in somewhere else or I go, OK, tomorrow I've got to make a concerted effort to meet that. And that's just how we manage life, because life is unpredictable. But we need a plan as much as you need a plan for your for going on your holiday or planning your career path or your education path, which is not dissimilar to what I'm talking about. I'm just talking about it more on a personal level that we feel we have a degree in control of control in a world where so much is out of control. And over time, then that builds a sense of self-assurance, certainty, confidence and confidence that knowing that even if things go wrong, I have a way to deal with it. I think something I like to say is I'm capable of doing difficult things. And it doesn't mean I actively seek out stress and troubles is just knowing that because this has happened in the past with smaller challenges or big challenges and you've scaled through those. When something comes up now, you're like, you know, if I could have gotten through that successfully and I'm here today, I could use certain or similar skill sets and get over this current hurdle. Yes. But the key to that is being aware of what you've achieved, being aware that you dealt with something difficult. If you were unaware of it, well, then every new difficulty would just be the difficulty in that moment. You couldn't reach back into your backpack and go, I've been here before. So you have to document your wins. Yeah, you've got to. I'm a big fan of people journaling, reflection, meditation, prayer, if that's your thing. And, you know, talking to like-minded people, discussing your day with your significant other or your family or your friends and verbalizing, acknowledging what you've done and achieved. Because what you're doing then is you're setting that within your internal programming. So you've done something difficult, you acknowledge the difficulty of it, but also how you dealt with it. Now that becomes part of your internal program. Another difficult thing comes along and you're not just in that moment with that difficulty challenge or situation. You go, I've done this before or I've got through this before and you lean into that programming. Yeah. And I also find that because you mentioned you have to tell friends or significant other or your family and stuff. I find that sometimes when you forget, they remember and will remind you. Yes. So that's a benefit of like talking to people. Absolutely. And not only that, on a neurological level, our body remembers, our energy remembers, our mind remembers. I was speaking this with my good friend, Dave White, who lives down in Limerick. He's been on many trips with me and every trip has its own difficulty. And we're taking on the Tour de Mont Blanc challenge next year. And he was saying, I've done it before, but he hasn't. He said, how difficult is that? I said, it's really probably one of the physically the most difficult things I've ever done. But I know going into that challenge, I've already done it. Yeah. Now, albeit a few years ago when I was a little bit younger, but it doesn't matter. I can leverage that. The knowledge that you can achieve and overcome makes the scale of the difficulty less feeling that you have control, that you do this. And it does involve a degree of self-reflection. Now, a big caveat here is we have to prioritize in our day time for that reflection, time for that journaling, time for that prayer, whatever it is. Now, I'm not a religious person. I don't pray. But prayer can be very, very powerful for people as a way of reflection. Yeah. And it helps people to feel like they've got something in their backpack, in their corner, in their back pocket that they can deal with difficulties going forward. And the problem we have is that we often leave that very significant and important thing to a time when we're exhausted. The day has battered us. And my partner, Kelly, who passed away last year, we used to always reflect on each other's day and early in the evening when we could, because at one stage, we realized that we were leaving it to the last thing at night, when we're getting ready for bed and you're in bed and you're kind of going, well, how was your day? And sometimes you must be just too tired or too exhausted to process this thing that's hugely important. So where in your day are you putting the importance of you? I think the morning time is great for planning forward and reflecting on the day ahead. It is. And then I know I said we bookend the day, but it's a lot easier to do that when you have a system or a process to deal with. Yeah. And I think we should do it in little drips throughout the day. So it's not all in one go at the end of the day. So we're constantly reinforcing and processing the events and challenges of our day. And it helps us feel like we're in control. It helps us feel like we're the masters of our own destiny, if you like. And if you're doing the check-ins during the day, then you're able to backtrace when something goes wrong kind of during the day, I find. Absolutely. And you wouldn't have to wait till the end of day to be like, oh, all this million of things happened. Which of them is the one that ticked me off? Or at what points did I get anxious about the day? So I think a trick would be to think of yourself like, oh, I feel very nervous right now. What could have made me nervous? Or what could have happened? And allowing yourself those moments and prioritizing them. This is the thing. I will often say to people, what would you not leave the house without doing? Would you leave the house without brushing your teeth? Oh, you're asking me? Yeah, I'm asking you. Brushing your teeth is important. Yeah, it is. But on the scale of things in your life, how important is it? Very. Okay. Now, set against you taking a couple of months. Now, it takes about, say, two to five minutes to brush your teeth a good brush. Taking two to five minutes to sit and say to yourself, blessing, I'm going to have a great day today. And here's how I'm going to do it. I'm going to pay attention to this. I'm going to be centered when problems come up. I'm not going to allow people to stress me and having a strategy to do that. I'm going out to meet the day having done that preparatory work. We don't prioritize that. No. But we prioritize brushing our teeth. Now, I'm not saying one over the other. Brushing your teeth is important. But how important is preparing yourself for the day and then unpacking at the end of the day or prioritizing time? We all get lunch hours and breaks during the day. What do we spend it doing? Doing scrolling on our phone, you know, a lot of people have to commute for their jobs. You might have an hour in your car. So you listen to, you know, okay, a little bit bubblegum music on the radio lights. Fair enough. But what about taking five minutes in your journey and just reflecting on the challenge of your day? You know, did you check in with the important people in your life? Are you going to do that? And constantly feeding into your own well-being and your own positivity throughout the day. We have to prioritize ourselves. Yeah. So this has been a very insightful conversation, Paul. Thank you so much. And before we wrap up the show, we'll go on a break. We'll go on a bit of a music break, light-headed. We'll let our producer decide whatever he wants to give us just to see. This is like a Russian roulette. And when we return, we'll talk about how to cleanse your energy before we wrap it up. Because energy needs to be detoxed, absolutely. Welcome back. You're still listening to Phoenix Live or Phoenix 92.5. My name is Blessing Puri and I have been talking to the wonderful, the very wise Sage Paul Fleming. I'm not comfortable with that title, but we'll let it run. The wonderful or the wise? Both. Okay. You give very good advice. So I'll take that back. We've been talking to Paul Fleming from the Infinite Self coaching and talking about things, control and what we can control. And we said we're coming back with how to cleanse your energy. This is so important in this day and age. How can we cleanse our energy, Paul? Sure. Well, to cleanse our energy, we've got to understand the nature of energy itself. Energy is constantly moving. So we're sitting here in the studio, Blessing, and we're looking out through the window here. And if we sat here, looking out through this window at the exact same scene every day for a year, we would see nature move energy through this picture. We'd see the colors of the trees change, the leaves fall off, regrowth. We'd see energy move. So the universe and nature is constantly keeping energy moving. And what happens when that energy doesn't move? There's blockages, there's stagnants, like stagnant water. And the same is within ourselves. So how can we keep our energy moving and healthy? If we take it at a very physical level, we know that movement is really, really important for our wellbeing and our physical body. Exercise would be a very big applicant of exercise, all aspects of it. And anybody who knows me, I'm involved in local walking groups, yoga for all ages, and encouraging people who believe that I'm too old, I'm too fat, I'm too this, I'm too that. Get moving. Motion is lotion. So that's very, very good for our body. Nutrition and diet are, of course, very good for cleansing our body and keeping the systems of our body working very well. Our body will do its job. And also making sure that you have a regular routine of doctor checkups. Most of the time we go to the doctor when there's something wrong. But how often do we go to the doctor just to make sure everything's okay? So we put our cards with the NCT every year or two. Do we NCT ourselves? That's a good question. So that's purely on a physical level. If we're talking about energy as in our energetic body, the energy of our heart, the energy of our sense of am I enough or not enough? A lot of that comes from self-reflection and social interaction. We need to be open in the social settings. We need to speak and talk about ourselves and our feelings, which is quite difficult for guys in particular because it's not natural. We have our own mechanisms, but I think it's important that we have a few good friends. And really, really important for us to be social. And our mental health, huge, huge issue, massive issue. So and I think in recent years, a lot of the stigma around us having mental health issues has gone away and not fully. But we must recognize that in some way, all of us have mental health issues, all of us. So what mechanisms have we got in place to deal with our mental health? Have we got people we can speak to? Have we got services we can attend that will allow us to process our mental health and understand what's going on and understand that it's just a natural part of life. And when we ignore it, when we create those blockages by not letting that energy move, well, that's when the issues happen. That's when we feel like we're lost. That's when we feel like we're stuck. It's because the energy isn't moving. Will that have anything to do with the likes of resting? Resting is really, really important. Of course, we need rest for our body. We also need rest for our mind. So, you know, when we find that our mind is overloaded, in whatever circumstance, whether it's socially, whether it's career wise, look at what's draining your energy and do the opposite. As we said, if you're doing something really technical, maybe going for a walk in the park, taking the dog out, playing with the dog, being with your family, something that's the opposite of what you're doing, not necessarily coming in exhausted and collapsing on the sofa. Yeah. And thinking that, you know, so many of us sleep but wake up tired. Have you ever noticed that pattern in yourself? Yeah. And what's happening there is our body goes into a state of sleep. But the other layers of us, our energy, our mental health, our spiritual energy, don't have that mechanism for rest. So we wake up after a full night's sleep but feel energetically tired. So we've got to be aware of what's draining your energy and process those things and have mechanisms and plans to deal with it on a daily basis. This is basic self-care. And again, it relies on us having an awareness. One of the other things that when we talk about cleansing our energy is our connections to the past, our connections. And while I don't, therapy isn't my thing, and there's some so many wonderful therapists out there, there's a very simple mechanism we can have for processing things that are drawing our energy. And that's what we call the hurt story and the truth story. Everything that you have a connection to in your past, that comes up. I'll give you a very, very quick example. And this goes back, I'm 56 years of age, this goes back to when I was about four. And when I started this process of using this cleansing of events in your past that you have an energetic string connection to, that when you think about it, there's that ping of hurt from that situation, that's still pulling you back, that's drawing energy between where you are now and that situation in the past. If we could cut that, you would reclaim that energy and it would bring you forward. Okay, so I was about four and I was out, my father was from the countryside and we were out in the countryside doing some, I think it was a hunting day or something like that. And it's so clear, 50 odd years ago, I had blue wellies on and red shorts and we were crossing into a ditch and I stepped down into this ditch and my dad said, don't step into a ditch, it's full of water, blah, blah, blah. We were staying in a cabin in Wicklow which had an outside toilet. I remember before going to bed, I needed to use the bathroom, I went out across the little lawn to this outhouse for want of a better word. I'm standing outside because my cousin was in there and I'm doing a little dance as four-year-olds do and I didn't make it. Okay, and I remember my cousin came out, she was a couple of years older than me and I remember feeling embarrassed because I wet myself as a four-year-old. Okay, so I went back inside, my dad got me ready for bed and pyjamas. He said, oh your shorts are wet. I said, okay, I almost got wet when I stepped into the ditch. Now that had a little ping of embarrassment, even all these years later, so I started to process that. So the hurt was the embarrassment, that's the the little drawback to that event. But what's the truth? The truth is I was four, all four-year-olds have issues like this, a little accident. I'm probably the only person that ever remembers that. Possibly. If you ever had a child tell you a lie, parents know. So my dad just went, okay, yeah, got you ready for bed and pyjamas into bed. And I was able to cut that thread of energetic connection between a past event that had a little ping of embarrassment and reclaim that energy forward. How many times could we do that with events in our lives? That's something really minuscule and small. So maybe that thread of energetic connection to that event was thin, we might have bigger events in our life where the thread is a little bit thicker, that pulls us back all the time. Every time it comes up in our mind, there's hurt, there's embarrassment, there's all kinds of these feelings that keep us tethered to that event and energetically draw on us. If we can process them and cut that thread, we reclaim that energy, bring it back into our own well, and we can draw on it from other things. I think something you mentioned that I really liked is hot story and the truth story, because sometimes what you remember happened isn't what actually happened. And being able to cut that thread and actually put the facts where the facts should be, if you can remember the facts, because our mind is very interesting. Absolutely. And it's the process of reflecting on it. This is why when things happen to you in your day, as we said, our memory distorts over time. So try and process them as you're going along. And journal. And journal, and reflect, and meditate, and pray, or whatever you want to make. But have a mechanism. It could be sitting down with your partner at the end of the day or chatting to your best friend and process the things of your life so that they don't have that energetic pull on you as time goes on. So we're processing, we're cleansing the hurts in our lives as we go. And these are important strategies to have. These are skills for living. And as I said, we put so much planning into so many other things that might not in the scale of things be as important as looking after our own energy, our own physical health, our mental health, and giving ourselves the best opportunity to squeeze as much joy out of every day as we can. Because the truth is, life is difficult. I'm all for squeezing all the joy you can get in a day. I can see that. So we have four months to the end of the year. Just a few more months to go. What would be your one major advice for our listeners for this few months? Because towards the end of the month, everyone starts to take stock of the other. Oh my god, I didn't do all my new year resolutions. Absolutely. I mean, one of the things we've got to do is be kind to ourselves. Okay. And because we were talking earlier on about, you know, developing a sense of pessimism over maybe not meeting the expectations we set for ourselves, or pessimism around this scale that, you know, doom and gloom will always happen. So we have to be kind to ourselves within that. We have to have a mechanism for kindness. We have to recognize that we are the most important person in our lives. We'd like to think that other people are. But if we don't treat ourselves with the same importance as we treat all the other relationships in our lives, we are drawing from the well and at some stage that will turn into resentment. If we're constantly pouring and our own cup becomes empty. So the key to that kind of that kind of joy and the key to consistently being able to look after other people is to look after ourselves well. Almost as if there was a little child inside you and you're looking after it. You're providing their needs the same as you would with your own children. So kindness. Don't blindly go through your day, your month, your four months, your year. Set out your plans. Do a bit of planning in the same way as you would plan for your holiday. How are these next four months going to go for me? What are the major events that I can predict coming up? Where are the stress points? And what have I got to deal with? And just knowing that you have some tools to deal with you means the anticipation of when those stress points come. Kids going back to school. Halloween. Christmas is coming up with big financial burden on a lot of people. A lot of people know there's you know just what expectations are finding Christmas very stressful. Yeah. Anxiety when should be a time of joy. Should be time to be around family. It should be a time to celebrate, not be, you know, a huge kind of stressor and have I enough. Can I afford this? You know, the demands. So we need to prepare for that, knowing that that's coming. And, you know, deal with it in a way that that that helps us to find a joy in life again. So that would be my advice. These are very profound. Thank you so much. Also, if people enjoyed listening to you today, I want to find more of your work. Where can they find you? Sure. OK, well, you can get me on socials, Infinite Self-Coaching on Instagram. And I don't have a platform on Facebook just yet, but I'm on YouTube under Infinite Self-Coaching and there's several podcasts of a weekly podcast goes out on that. So tune in and we'll find all of these topics for discussion and encourage people, even if they have any issues, they can pop me a message and I will address them. Or if you wanted to work with me directly, I also have a mechanism for that. And if people can send me a message, I will work with them directly and help them find their own solutions. That's for the coaching as well as the yoga and all the other things. Absolutely. OK, so you heard that. Be sure to reach out to Paul. Thank you so much for joining us today. And if you want to find me on socials, it's at Blessing Query. That's B-L-E-S-S-Y-N-K-U-R-E. Before we go, I will plug you into Phoenix FM's socials just so you don't miss a thing. So it is on Facebook and on TikTok. It's 925 Phoenix FM. You can also listen to playbacks on Mixcloud.com forward slash 925 Phoenix FM. And if you need any more information about the radio station, you can check out phoenixfm.ie. Don't forget that any email from Phoenix FM would be from an official at phoenixfm.ie email address. Just be weary. We do not ask for money or donations for show appearances. And this announcement is because someone out there may be impersonating. And all emails of Phoenix FM will be at phoenixfm.ie. Thank you so much for listening. And we have a bit of jams, Afro tunes for you to boogie to as your Saturday comes, as you take stock of your Saturday. So you're upbeat, you're happy, and you're just going to the rest of the week dancing. So have a lovely, lovely day. Till I come your way next time. Bye. Thank you so much.