Magical Moroccan weddings: Luxurious celebrations of tradition and status | DW Documentary

A wedding in Morocco still resembles a fairy tale from 1001 Nights. All eyes are on the bride, the center of attention. A long guest list, traditional attire and flamboyant jewelry are all a must. As soon as the bride takes her seat, her family and friends take care of her every need. Everyone is happy. The bride feels like a princess on a throne. Every girl dreams of one day having a traditional Moroccan wedding. The bride is carried around on a magnificent litare known as an amaria. Every girl dreams of being a princess for one day. At the celebration, you forget all your worries. A July afternoon. Yousra and Othman are getting married soon. They and their parents are walking through the souks in search of essential accessories for the ceremony. This is something traditional. They're called tabouka. What do you put in there? Don't you use that at home for decoration? We have one like that, but even bigger. What are they for? You used to put bread in them. They're beautiful. I don't know about the small ones. You still use the big ones as bread containers at weddings. The couple wants a traditional Moroccan fairy tale wedding. The ceremony is in two months in Yousra's hometown of Fez. Othman and his mother Samira are visiting Yousra's family. A lot still has to be arranged and organised for the wedding. Yousra's father Hassan accompanies her through the old city. When their children get married, parents still expect to have a say on the details. Fez is one of Morocco's oldest cities and is known for its handicrafts. Othman is still looking for some shoes to match the traditional robe he'll wear for the henna ceremony. Yousra and Othman flew to Morocco a few days ago to prepare everything for their wedding. Their vacation is almost over, and soon they'll need to return to France. Samira is looking for the precious eaglewood called oud, along with incense and musk. Large quantities are needed for the henna ceremony. Tradition calls for Othman to give the scents to his bride as a wedding gift. This is really good. Do you have oud? Yes. Could I see it? That's oud for 30 and for 50 dirham per gram. How much do you need? How much for the best? This one costs 30 dirham. The other 50 dirham per gram. What's the difference? That one is natural. The other is scented. Do you have bigger ones? This is 30 dirham and this 50 dirham. We need even more for a wedding. Ah, for a wedding. I'll order it for you. I still think Moroccan weddings are the best in the world. There's a lot to prepare. The wedding focuses on the bride. It's all about her beauty. She wears different dresses. You can't find this anywhere else. Only in Morocco. Othman and Yusra met in France. Both studied in Rennes in northwestern France and now work as computer scientists. Do you remember what it's like in Rennes, Mum? There you only get a little orange juice. They fill up the rest with water. Yes, very little orange juice and a lot of tap water. And then they call that freshly squeezed orange juice. I met Othman in Rennes, France, where we both live. We met at an after-work party at the company we both worked for at the time. There was a spark between us right away. It was love at first sight. We then agreed to meet for coffee. That was also in France. Then I called my mum and told her about Othman. She told me, Mum, I have some good news for you. I said, God willing, we only hear good news. She said, I met a man from a good family. He's very nice and good looking. I like him and he likes me. And we both feel sure this is serious. I want you to know that, Mum. I was so happy and then told her, Allah will make sure everything goes well. It is important to me that it is serious between you. She reassured me. I waited to tell you until I was sure he's serious and only wants the best for me. Dad told me not to cross the line. That's how we were raised. We are not allowed to have close contact without a marriage certificate. Marriage is sacred. Everyone knows that in Morocco. We can't be intimate without a marriage certificate. Here are the rules. She is not allowed to travel alone with Othman. She is definitely not allowed to be alone with him in a small room or sit with him somewhere, away from others. I don't mind the two of them going to a cafe, sitting there together to get to know each other better. That's not a problem. But to be with Othman somewhere in a confined space, to get too close to him, I won't allow that as a father. I simply won't. My father is cool, but he wants us to respect the rules. That doesn't mean that we need to sit 200 meters apart in a cafe. We sit together normally, respectfully. Allah is watching over us in France. Yusra has hired a wedding planner, called a negafa in Fez. Selwa is supposed to help her with the elaborate preparations. Selwa works together with her husband, Abderrahim, a goldsmith and jeweler, to make a preliminary selection of possible dresses and matching jewelry. Look, Abderrahim, this dress could also be used for the henna celebration. But there's no green in it. But it goes with green. True. Could you give me the matching jewelry? That one? The belt, too. Here's the crown. See, it matches. Same color. And here's the belt to go with it. All the same color. Yes, of course. We show our customers wedding dresses that are typical of Fez, Rabat or other cities, and then they pick one. Some people have no idea what an amaria is, so we show them wedding videos. They then understand and want the whole package right away. Meaning they want the bride to be carried several times in the amaria. They want a henna ceremony and a fassy dress. They go home satisfied and prepare for a typical traditional Moroccan wedding. The amaria is a table for the bride or the groom. There are people who choose to have two, one for the bride and one for the groom. It's a kind of litter carried by several men above their heads. All the guests should see the bride and admire her beauty because she is the center of the celebration. Yusra and Oudman, the bride and groom-to-be, are discussing the wedding with Selwa. Their mothers are also included in the meeting. Haven't we been in that room before? Yes, that's the queen hall. That's where you had another wedding. That wedding had over 800 guests. When is the wedding? On September the 4th, God willing. Welcome. Everything will be fine. Do you want only the bride or both to be carried in the amaria? Both, the bride and the groom. Ah, two tables. Plus a ride in the amaria for the henna and the fascia dress. Yes, for the henna and the fascia dress. Now for the wedding. Will I provide the wedding attire or will the bride? I have commissioned two kaftan dresses, one for the amaria and one for the henna evening. And a third one? I will gladly get that from you. And please don't forget the modern wedding dress. Wonderful. As you can see. Very beautiful. I love the colour. Very pretty. Very pretty. That would fit. The jewellery. Can we see the jewellery? The matching belts. Very nice. Can I see the earrings? The earrings are beautiful too. Very beautiful. The crown and the belt are gorgeous. Here's the matching necklace. May I see the necklace? I have a brooch. The necklace is also very beautiful. Can you try it on? Could you pull your hair back? It all goes together. Crown, earrings and belt. Can I see the crown? Come a little closer. Beautiful. I'm excited. You already look like a bride. Very classy jewellery. Allah bless you. The bride's parents used to organise and pay for the wedding. But both families now often share the burden, as with Utman and Yusra's wedding. Yusra's mother reserved a hall for the wedding reception, but some unexpected problems have arisen. Rashida, didn't you visit the hall? I asked the owner if he can swap out the benches for tables with chairs. I don't know. Can't you come over? It's a disaster. There would be guests sitting with their backs to the bride at two spots. That's unacceptable. Yusra and Utman will pick you up. Is she coming here? Is Yusra's mother coming now? Yes, you are going to pick her up. The hall will hold ten tables at most. At most? Yes, and there are other problems. They can't count. It's not like we only have ten tables. Mum, where are the other two tables going to go? Outside, in the garden? Look at this. Same problem. Some guests would have to sit with their backs to the wedding. Unacceptable. Guests don't want to be squeezed onto a bench either. Or would you like that? Of course not, you're right. We'd best clear everything out. I hope the owner is okay with it. I'll have a talk with him. We need to talk to our negafa. She's in charge. I don't like the decoration. There's better. We need to talk to the florist. I don't like it. I'm not a fan either. No problem. The florist is just a detail. Yeah, you're right. It's just a detail. Speaking of which... The negafa will take care of everything. How did you solve the air-conditioning problem? The owner is organising everything. That's what you had told me. Yes, that's how it is. But I was told by the owner that he didn't know about air-conditioning. He will just refer us to someone who will install it. The hall doesn't have any. How is that going to work? Someone has to come specifically for air-conditioning. That's exactly what he told me. Someone else will install it. It'll cost extra. Come here. Want to sit down? Let's sit. How do we look? You're supposed to be celebrating us as bride and groom. Did you know we're only allowed to celebrate until 11pm? Yes, they close everything at 11. We shouldn't take any chances. But we shouldn't drive ourselves crazy either. We'll wait until the afternoon. We don't have a choice anyway. We won't get our deposit back. We can't change anything. Let's not make everything more complicated. How much did you put down? About 40,000 Riyal. I'd rather lose 200 Euros than ruin the wedding. We can't change anything. Rashida, we don't care about the deposit. How much did you pay? 40,000 Riyal. No, no, let's wait until we find something else. Then they can keep the deposit. We have to keep looking. I don't care about the deposit. Some items are made entirely by hand, some by machine. Of course, there's a difference in price. The upper part here is made entirely by hand. I make this pattern with the machine, and then a woman embroiders it with beads. This kaftan, for example, goes through several hands. There are about 10 people working on this piece alone. One makes the yarn, another weaves the border, another draws the pattern by hand. I also work on the pattern, take measurements and do the tailoring. By the time a kaftan is finished and looks like this one, eight to ten people have worked on it for a long time. Our craft isn't what it used to be. In Fez, there used to be a yarn makers' quarter, where only yarn makers and tailors worked. Now we are down to two or three tailors. Our manual work is now being replaced by a computer-controlled machine. There are also not enough young people learning the trade. Going out with your girlfriend is now tolerated, even though the law forbids it. A policeman is allowed to stop you and ask you who your companion is. You can go out with your girlfriend, but if you want to travel with her alone and share a hotel room with her, you can't do that without a marriage certificate. Every young Moroccan knows that. I'm a Moroccan, and I've been in Morocco for a long time. Othman's family lives in the metropolis of Casablanca. He was born, raised and graduated from high school in the city. He first studied engineering in Morocco, and then went to France to study computer science. Yousra first met my mother when we came from France and landed in Casablanca. She lives in Fez. My mother then came to visit us at home. She and Yousra had already spoken on the phone several times. There was minor friction, but only because of the stress surrounding the wedding. I think their getting to know each other went pretty well. The bride and I didn't really have any problems, but we here in Casablanca have our wedding traditions. And they in Fez have theirs. They are attached to their traditions, and we're attached to ours. There was some tension. The bride said, we in Fez do it this way, and I said, we in Casablanca do it this way. In the end, we tried to find a compromise. The main difference between a wedding in Fez and one in Casablanca is this. People in Fez usually hold two separate celebrations. One for the bride and her family, the second for the groom and his family. We will have one wedding for everyone. That's enough. Two celebrations have become unusual these days. Tell mama how it used to be. What did people do first? Was there a henna celebration? Of course. That was held at the bride's family. Who brought presents? The groom's family. And after that comes the wedding day. There were no photographers back then. The women were among themselves. They used to just bake for two days before the wedding. Yes, all the wedding pastry was prepared at home. Everyone who could bake helped out. There was no caterer or anything. I didn't have one either. The bride's family was responsible for everything. And there was no men's music group. Men weren't even allowed to be there. Ah, only women. Yes, men and women were separated. The wedding went on until seven in the morning, and then they would wake up the bride. As soon as the bride left the bedroom, her underpants were brought to her family as proof. Everyone is looking at her. The underpants were shown to the family and neighbours so that everyone knew that something had happened on the wedding night. And then the bride is given money. And if the underpants don't? Then all is lost. Then the fighting would start. A brawl would break out. Some would flee for fear of being beaten. The bride's family would take off. Yes, the bride too, of course. Fez. Early September. Everyone has returned to Fez for Yusra and Othman's henna celebration, which is an important part of a traditional Moroccan wedding. The families want to avoid renting a hall for two days and have decided to host the celebration at the family of Abderrahim, the father of the groom. The guests arrive first. Then the groom and his family make a ceremonial entrance, featuring a procession and gifts, accompanied by drumbeats and music. Nobody in Morocco is bothered by the noise. Letting everyone know about your wedding is part of the culture. While the guests welcome the groom, the bride is being prepared for her grand entrance in a separate room. The negafa helps her put on the magnificent gown and gold jewelry. She also does the bride's hair and makeup. Everything has to be perfect when the bride meets the guests in a few minutes. The traditions and customs in Morocco are different than in France, even though a lot has changed. If your parents trust you, you now have a little more freedom. The groom used to have to wait to see his bride-to-be until the wedding day, and mothers usually chose brides for their sons. But this is no longer true for our generation. If you meet someone and you get along, why shouldn't you get married? All eyes are on Yousra. The guests notice and comment on every step, gesture and facial expression. Everyone is taking pictures and everyone wants a photo with the bride. And since Morocco has also joined the digital age, the photos and videos will make it to social media later that evening. Selwa, the negafa, has provided the dark green henna dress and gold jewelry. Everything is perfectly matched. Unfortunately, the kaftan that Yousra ordered from her cousin was not finished in time. The young bride enjoys being the center of attention. She's dreamed of this day for so long, and now it's finally here. The singer first praises the prophet Muhammad. Then he praises Yousra's beauty and elegance. The guests celebrate the bride in her magnificent henna dress and carry her through the hall on the amaria. The couple is then married according to Islamic custom. The ceremony is carried out by two religious officials, representing both the state and the faith. In the name of Allah, all the best, my child. Dear Othman, I wish you all the best. In the name of Allah and his prophet Muhammad, you're here to marry Yousra. As a wedding gift, give her these three gold coins worth 3,000 euros. Please sign here. And you sign here too, please. A prayer for the bride and groom and verses read from the Quran make the marriage official. Congratulations. May Allah bless this wedding. I wish you both all the best for the future. A life full of joy, good health and many children. The henna ceremony begins after a ceremonial meal. An artist paints traditional patterns on the hand of the bride as a sign of joy, fertility and good luck. The guests are also welcome to take part. Women used to prefer bright reddish brown henna to be painted in large patterns on their hands and feet. But more ornate, filigree patterns are now on vogue. The decorated hands and feet are then wrapped in cotton to protect the artwork. Many leave the wrap on all night. The longer the henna remains on the skin, the darker the colour. Yousra chose to get a subtle diamond pattern on her ring finger. September 4th, 24 hours after the henna ceremony, the day of Yousra and Othman's big wedding celebration. The mothers finally managed to find a suitable hall for the event. It's large, luxurious and has air conditioning. But at 4,500 euros, the price is steep, twice their price. Outside, the groom's family sets up the tiafer, the traditionally embroidered velvet containers for Othman's gifts to the bride. They're left open so everyone can admire the gifts, branded handbags and other accessories, dates and chocolates. The jewellery and Othman's gold coins are a big hit. The more valuable the gifts, the higher the family's prestige. It's time. Drums and music announce the beginning of the celebration. Othman and his family carry the numerous gifts into the banquet hall, filled with guests. The traditional start of every wedding ceremony, stylishly staged by Selwa, the negaffa. Selwa and her staff prepare Othman and Yousra for their big appearance in the Amaria, the most important moment of the festivities. I love dressing the bride, decorating her with a crown and a belt, so that she feels comfortable in the Amaria. If she is happy and pleased, then so am I. Selwa does a final check of the bride's outfit. Does everything, crown, hair, kaftan, fit perfectly? Selwa's reputation is at stake. She gives Yousra final instructions before the big appearance. The wedding day is the most important day of the bride's life. She wants to be a princess. My job is to make her dream come true. The time has come. The bride and groom are carried into the hall. Yousra is wearing a kaftan designed by her cousin Zineb. Fortunately, the gorgeous cream-colored piece was finished just in time. Yousra and Othman clearly enjoy being in the spotlight. A traditional Moroccan wedding is complicated. It is celebrated in several stages. There are regions where people celebrate their wedding for three to four days. We decided to limit it to two. The celebration is so tiring and exhausting, I can't even put it into words. But we have no choice. We have to organize this wedding to make everyone happy. We don't have that many opportunities to bring the whole family together. The wedding is a chance for us all to have fun, dance, eat and laugh. After the amaria, the ceremonial presentation of the bride and groom, the couple retires to private quarters. After a short break, it's time to put on the next set of festive attire. The bride also gets her hair and makeup redone. While the bride and groom are away, the guests dance and enjoy themselves. The bride appears a second time, this time clothed in green. This part of the celebration is reminiscent of the henna ceremony and is meant for all those who could not attend the previous evening. An abbreviated stylized henna ritual is performed, but no hands are actually painted. For Yusra, it's an opportunity to wear the kaftan designed by her cousin Zineb, which was not finished in time for the actual henna celebration. Yusra and Othman enter the dance floor in good spirits. Following tradition, the guests give them banknotes. The two will pass these on to the negaffa and her team for a job well done. No traditional Moroccan wedding is complete without the fassia garment. As the name suggests, this type of kaftan originated in Fez and is one of the oldest varieties of Moroccan wedding dresses. The heavy, lush brocade and massive crown are quite a challenge for petite Yusra. But Yusra knows what's expected of her, to smile and not let the effort show. It is important that we celebrate a traditional wedding, not only for the family, but especially for the bride. This is an opportunity for her to be the center of attention and to be celebrated by everyone. We want to have a modern celebration, but with all the customs of a traditional wedding. For example, the amaria, fassia dress, henna and so on. But we'd like the rest, like the wedding hall, the catering, the service and the food, to be a bit more modern. It's now well past midnight, time for the highlight of the evening, an appearance by Yusra in a modern white wedding dress and Othman in a black tuxedo, something fit for the silver screen. The bridal couple had expressly requested this touch of Hollywood, including the saxophone accompaniment. I'm getting married to start a family because I don't want to stay alone all my life. I want to share responsibilities with someone, live happily with him and discuss everything with him. My parents live far away from me. I can't always pick up the phone and tell them about my worries. That's why I want someone for the good times and the bad. And I also want to start a family. Not right away, but maybe in a year or two. Marriage doesn't mean just him and me, but also children. We will start a big family, God willing. The wedding was a hit. The bride and groom, their families and the many guests are happy. Tomorrow, the newlyweds will start their honeymoon and after that, their new life as a couple in France.