How to Lose Your Fear of Speaking English | Advanced Listening Practice

You can't learn a language while constantly protecting yourself from mistakes. What if the reason you're afraid to speak English has nothing to do with your level of English? Welcome back to my Slow English Podcast. Learn English with conversations. I love having conversations with you guys. And today, I have a topic that's very interesting to me. It's a little more complicated to understand, so I'm going to leave this episode at level B2 to C1. I've been reading The Untethered Soul, and it's made me realize something. We spend so much of our lives closing ourselves off from uncomfortable feelings. And I think we do the exact same thing when it comes to learning a language. But this episode isn't just about learning English. It's about being open to life and what happens when we start to close ourselves from it. So let's talk about opening our hearts to the world and what it might look like to stop closing them. It's like when you meet someone and you connect deeply with them, whether that's a romantic connection or a friendship. But being around or close to that person gives you so much energy. We've all felt that, right? That energy isn't coming from the food that you eat or the sleep that you get, but it's still there. You can feel it. You're excited. You're inspired. You want to talk. You want to go places. And everything just feels more alive. And according to this book, that energy always exists inside of you. Always. It's just a matter of opening your heart to it. The book gives a real-life example of what it looks like when you open your heart to something or what it feels like when your heart is open. Like being around a friend gives you so much energy. But maybe that same friend does something that makes you feel betrayed or hurt. Maybe they say something that hurts your feelings. Maybe they don't invite you somewhere. And in that instant, you can almost feel your heart closing up. And that energy that was flowing just stops flowing the way it used to. Maybe you become quieter. Maybe you pull away. Maybe you decide. I'm not going to let anyone make me feel this way again. You close your heart to protect yourself from those feelings of betrayal and hurt. And your body has learned throughout the years to close off to protect itself from those feelings of pain. And this is where I started thinking about English. Because I think we can experience something very similar when it comes to learning a new language. Maybe you were speaking English one day and someone corrected you in a way that made you feel embarrassed. Maybe you tried to say something, but the words just wouldn't come out. Maybe someone just didn't understand your accent. Nothing terrible happened, but you remember how it made you feel. We never forget how something made us feel. And suddenly, out of nowhere, you start protecting yourself from feeling that way again. You speak less. You use easier words instead of challenging yourself. You think about every sentence before saying it. Maybe you even start telling yourself, I'm just shy speaking English. And maybe you are shy, but maybe part of that shyness is just protection. Maybe you've learned to close yourself off because you don't want to feel embarrassed again. And I think it's very interesting because we do this in many areas of our lives. We experience pain, rejection, embarrassment, criticism, and then we create rules to never have to experience those feelings again. If you're liking this video, be sure to like it so it will reach more English learners. And subscribe to have conversations like this with me every week. Now, going back to that example of the friend who makes you feel hurt, maybe that friend apologizes. And then, suddenly, you feel your heart open in an instant. You feel that same energy you felt at the beginning flowing again. And nothing outside of you physically gave you that energy back. But the situation changed and you opened your heart again. You allowed yourself to open again. When you close your heart center, that energy can't flow in the same way. And when you open, all that energy rushes up inside of you again. And one of the ideas from this book that really stuck with me is that closing your heart doesn't necessarily protect you. It just locks you in. And that is the part that I think applies so beautifully in learning a language. Because when you stop yourself from speaking because you're scared of making a mistake, yes, maybe you protect yourself from feeling embarrassed for a few seconds, but you also miss the conversation. You miss the correction that could've taught you something new. You miss the opportunity to realize, wait, I can do this. The same wall that's protecting you from embarrassment is also the wall that's keeping you from growing. And not just in English. Take a moment to think about where else you might be doing this in your life. Another idea from the book is that we put conditions on when we allow ourselves to be open. I'll be happy if this happens. I'll relax when this is over. I'll speak when my English is better. I'll be confident when my pronunciation improves. I'll have conversations when I stop making so many mistakes. But if you think about it, you're waiting to be confident. Before doing the things that will build that confidence. I do it all the time. With language and with other things in my life. I have to force myself into uncomfortable situations. Always. For the rest of my life, I'm going to have to continue challenging. More and more. And you can only do that by being open. So, what if you stayed open anyway? I encourage you to pay attention to the moments in your life when you feel love or enthusiasm. Because that's when your heart is open. And then ask yourself, why can't I feel this all the time? What changes? You feel love until someone says something you don't like. You feel excited to be at work until someone criticizes something that you did. You feel confident speaking English until someone corrects you. Someone hurting you doesn't have to make you stop loving. One embarrassing conversation doesn't have to make you stop speaking. You get to decide what closes you. But even if you decide to close, why close? If you can continue feeling love and enthusiasm. Staying open means letting yourself experience something. And staying open doesn't mean having no boundaries or limits. It means experiencing something without letting that experience shut you out to everything that comes after it. Define your own limits and enjoy all of life. The more you open, the more energy you build. Until at one point, that energy starts flowing out of you. And it lights up a room that you're in. You become a beam of light for your friends and family. And I think that our emotional state can affect our physical state as well. At least I've noticed that same connection in myself. It mostly reflects in my skin. My acne. My acne is very sensitive. And when I'm not doing well, I often notice the changes in my skin. Of course, there are a lot of things that affect how my skin looks. But there have been periods in my life where I've eaten terribly. So much sugar, oil, lactose. Basically everything that normally relates to my skin worsening. But somehow, I had incredible skin. But during that same period of my life, I also was in a very good place. Surrounded by very positive people who built me up and poured their energy into me. It's made me pay attention to how connected my mind and my body can be. So let life be fun. Get inspired. Let yourself experience things fully. Have the conversation. Say things imperfectly. Love people. Even though loving people always comes with a risk. Let every minute of every day have the possibility of becoming an exciting experience. Not necessarily because it's an exciting experience. But because you're willing to stay open to experience it. There's a quote from the Untethered Soul that I love. If you love life, then nothing is ever worth closing over. So that's what I want you to take from today's conversation. Pay attention to the moments where you close. And ask yourself, what am I protecting myself from right now? And is that protection helping me? Or is it keeping me from experiencing life? And when it comes to English, remember, fluency requires openness. You cannot learn a language by constantly protecting yourself from making mistakes. So stay open, keep speaking, and allow yourself to be a learner. Remember guys, never stop learning. And if you like this video, then like it so that it gets to more English learners. And subscribe to learn English with me every week with videos like this. Bye!