Dr Joe Dispenza Reveals Why People HURT Others!

people who hate themselves will hate others and people who are angry with themselves will be angry at others people who are impatient with others will be impatient uh with themselves will be impatient with others people um who are unhappy with themselves will punish other people until they feel unhappy uh it's just our nature as human beings but when people are truly grateful uh for themselves or for their life they're they're they're grateful for others so people who love themselves naturally love others people who are okay finally with themselves are are okay with others you know it's just kind of how it is so one of the things that people have as a limitation uh to the understanding of Love is that they're feeling something other than it and in order for us to find love a part of us Must Die o or wait wa wait why why do why do we need to die to find love or part of us because anything that's not love in US Must Die oh and that's the difference between knowing the path and walking the path right so um so one of the things that we want to teach people in the work that we do is understand how to manage their energy right and and how to manage their attention um when you feel love uh which is just a word by the way and people have their own experience of what that is you tend to feel more whole uh and when you feel more whole you tend to want less when you truly feel love uh um is very different than being selfish you're kind of more selfless and when you're in your heart you're more prone to give more prone to care you're more prone to be present uh you're more prone to um be grateful uh you're more prone to be kind that's the consciousness of that Center it is the the creative center it's the union of opposites it's the union of polarities is where Oneness where our Divinity starts right there can't be enough enough set about that Center so if you just did an inventory of the amount of time you feel love during the day and the amount of time you feel other emotions like resentment or impatience or frustration or judgment or jealousy any other one of those emotions that is the opposite of Love fear is fear is not the opposite of love it is the separation from love pain and suffering they're not the opposite of Love they're the separation from it that anger and hatred and hostility and violence they're not the opposite of Love they're the separation from love right so so then if you're living in survival and living in survival is living in stress and living in stress produces a cocktail of chemicals and hormones that make you feel something other than love turns out majority of time people are feeling something other than love and they're feeling some of those other emotions so you only get good at what you practice right and those emotions will drive certain human behaviors that primarily Universal and will cause us to think in very predictable ways right so the separation from love because of an event or a trauma or whatever it is causes people to view their life through a different lens than love right okay so teach a person how to stop feeling those emotions of survival right because in survival it's not a time to create no when it's in when you're in survival it's not a time to communicate it's not a time to learn it's not a time to cooperate it's not a time to get along it's time to run fight or hide and when you're in survival you're very selfish you're self-indulgent you're self important you're self-aggrandizing you're full of self-pity it's all about the self or self self- involved in so many ways um and that means that once I'm okay and I'm happy then uh everybody else could be happy and so in survival and we're feeling those emotions we're doing everything we can to make that feeling go away right so it turns out that if you're in that state where you're in survival and it's it's not a time to create or Not A Time To Love or not a time to open your heart not a time to learn um you're compromised in a lot of ways so bring that into a relationship a relationship with peers with with co-workers with relatives with family with a partner um then the fundamental question is uh what would love do in a relationship that's I think that's a really important question now we have different relationships with different people and um because we've had experiences with different people because we've had experiences with them we have neurological circuitry that there's a memory that that we can relate to that person in fact I see you uh based on the memory I have of you I'm filling in my idea of Lewis based on my memory of him I'm not really seeing you I see things how they are I see things how I am right so your brain only can see equal to how it's m So based on my experience I super like you you're a great guy we get along we have a lot of things in common and and so I see you that way and the feeling that I have for my interactions with you causes me to be attracted to you like you're a cool guy we hang out we have great conversations and so when I see you there is a sense of love there's an energy there's a connection there's comaraderie there's some kind type of Union right those are healthy relationships and as long as we're we're honoring one another that relationship will continue and Foster really great outcomes you have a relationship with someone like an ex or someone's betrayed you um you have a different memory of that person based on your experience which triggers a different a feeling right which triggers a different feeling that's based on experience and so then it makes sense then that the stronger the emotion you feel towards that person the more you pay attention to them and where you place your atten is where you place your energy so you're giving your power away to change to that person or that circumstance and it's entirely possible that your reality is staying the same because your energy is the same that you in fact are contributing to that reality staying exactly unchangeable right so then you take a person and may've had a moderately difficult past everybody's got a story but when does the story end you know right and now it's the new right I mean it's it really is now is the new later yeah like if you want to change that now okay so the person understands fundamentally they haven't changed since those that event they're feeling the same emotion they felt from 20 years ago and somehow their their personality is in the past right okay so the person then has to overcome that emotional state and so they're sitting in the meditation and that's part of their identity and meditation is getting be on yourself and as you're sitting there all of a sudden you start getting frustrated and angry and resentful towards your ex you one of two choices just just go fully down that rabbit hole for the next hour and see how that feels at the end or ask yourself is this loving to me Justified or not the only person it's going to affect is me okay is this loving to me or for me yeah was that either one right it's not either okay so if I could in my meditation really say okay I this isn't loving to me I know this isn't right even though I want to make them wrong I'm just going to work I'm going to work on settling my body down from that emotional state if I'm successful at regulating that emotion and no longer allowing the body to feel that emotion I'm inhibiting that thought and feeling that image and emotion I'm breaking that conditioning response if I if I'm successful at doing that if I lower the volume to that emotion I'm going to take my attention off that person or problem which means I'm going to be taking my power back right because I'm going to drop my energy I'm going to build my own field right I'm I'm no longer giving them my power to change energetically I'm no longer giving them my attention my energy if I overcome the emotion I'll take my attention off that person and I'll begin to build my own electromagnetic field now there's energy to create now there's energy to heal now there's energy for a whole new future and and lo and behold when you lower the volume to that emotion you take your attention off that person that's forgiveness wow cuz if you don't feel the emotion any longer then you no longer have your attention on that person and your life truly changes you'll never hold on to that emotion again but why is it why are so many people holding on to resentment of what someone did in a relationship in their past versus allowing them to find forgiveness and peace about it maybe it not agreeing that it was okay what they did but why do people hold on to resentment for so long or anger about a past I I think it's because people are afraid it's going to happen to them again oh and um when we have a traumatic event big or small in fact you're always on the lookout for the the any signal in the environment and any person or circumstance that's going to be the smallest que that's going to say oh I've done this before I better get ready for it so we're in a constant state of bad news waiting for the worst case scenario so let me just finish this okay the question really was about self- Lov uhhuh the person who lives in resentment is making themselves unhappy a person who's judging everybody else and because they're judging the themselves is making themselves unhappy person who's complaining blaming making excuses feel sorry for themselves they're making themselves unhappy there's nobody doing that to them you say it's your ex okay let's take your ex let's put him in a straight jacket and's shoot him to the moon now what you're hold you're still thinking that way and feeling that way and and that person is no longer in your life you're defined by that that that that story by that past event okay the person's truly sincere and thinks there's something other than that emotion of resentment what's on the other side of it am I willing to sit through it long enough and and no matter how much the pain is or what my body does I'm going to sit this one out I'm going to work with my body and keep bringing it back into the present moment it's like training an animal you keep doing it over and over and you stay you stay you stay I'm not getting up I'm not eating I'm not moving we're going to keep lowering the volume you keep reconditioning the body to a new mind sooner or later it surrenders it surrenders to a new mind when that occurs there's that liberation of energy and energy moves into the heart and you feel love for yourself you feel a respect for yourself you feel an honor for yourself something you took your power back you know you built your field something feels right when we look at the data of people who do this and we see their their scans their brain scans or we see their HRV measurements and they they get good at this we measure their oxytocin levels now oxytocin is the love chemical right it's it's made in the pituitary gland um it it is the is love chemical causes us to bond to connect to to unify and and when I showed the values of oxytocin levels with these people to scientists are sometimes 200 times above normal now that's not a little love that's a lot of love it's an explosion of love it's a lot of love and there so oxit toin signals nitric oxide and nitric oxide signals another chemical called endothelial derived relaxing factor and that chemical causes the arteries in your heart and your lungs to literally open up and blood flows into your heart and your heart is filled with energy just like when it engorges the the the the sexual organs there's an engorgement of blood in there and it activates it with energy and there's a mind that's created it's a Consciousness now this one opens up it's a whole different Consciousness in fact the research on oxytocin shows that the slightest elevation in oxytocin it's impossible to hold the grudge it's impossible you say dude I feel so good I'm good like no no no I'm good I'm really good now that kind of state means I I I don't want to feel anything else but this so I am not going to compromise myself or my energy to a lower Dominator just because of you in fact I'm really good around you I'm really okay I feel so good I don't want to judge you because I don't want to lose this feeling so then imagine being around a cat like that being around a person like that that's really easy to be around because they're okay with themselves and when they're okay with themselves they relate with people differently in fact they relate with them unconditionally they just love them unconditionally and that causes an attraction it causes a bond right so one of the things I learned last year and watching people you know in this work and week Wong events I do my best to pay really close attention looked at at an audience one day and I looked out in the room just we just finished a walking meditation everybody sat down and I kind of glanced around the room and everybody had this radiant smile and I said to them hey who's making you happy by the way who who's making you happy there's nobody doing that to you you're doing that to you you're making yourself I mean you're not relying on your anybody in your life to do that now that is an attractive energy that's the person who relates well with money there's a relationship with money they relate well with people um they're very giving they're very caring they want nothing in return they're more present because that's who they're practicing being and so there's a natural Affinity a natural attraction because the person is really present and they're really okay and something is different about them