DoctorOz: Duck Syndrome & The Pressure on Young Adults | Oz Wellness

Today's show is very personal. Over the summer, I read an article about my alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania. I went to medical school there. I was shocked to learn that in this last school year, six UPenn students were victims of suicide. I learned that college students and young adults across the country, under so much pressure to appear perfect, that they're becoming anxious and depressed. There's actually a new name for this phenomenon. It's called duck syndrome. Let me show you why they call it that. A duck, on the surface, is very calm. It's gliding easy across the water. Like young adults in college, they appear calm, cool, and collected. But a deeper look, go under them, beneath the surface, and guess what's happening? The duck's frantically moving forward. It's desperately paddling its feet, trying to stay afloat. Sort of like a lot of kids of adult age who are just becoming mature. What about your kids? This article made me think about mine and the pressure they're dealing with. So audience, who in the, if I can talk to the parents first, who in the audience has young adult children? Got a couple folks here. That's a quick question. So I just told you about the duck syndrome. As you think about the duck syndrome, apply it to your own families. Because we were all there ourselves once. When you think about your children, do you think that they're overwhelmed, stressed out? And are they telling you the truth about that? Yeah, I think, well, I have a son in college, and he just likes to be strong. He wants to show us that he's strong. So I don't think he really expresses himself, and I worry because I don't really know what's going on. I think there's so many pressures in this world. It's not just with college, it's with many things. And kids try to be strong, and they try to be in with the group. And so they don't want to be separated, and they just want to be a part of everything. So they try hard to do whatever is demanded of them. All right, so today's show, you mentioned the word pressure, is all about that word. It's about pressure and how we handle it, both in our children and in ourselves. So we're gonna start by looking at the pressure that our young adults are facing, battling this duck syndrome that I described. Then, if you feel pressure to create a perfect world on Facebook and Instagram, you're not alone. We're gonna meet some women who decided to bust through the perfect pic myth. And could you go five full days without showering? That would be stressful for many people. We actually put three busy ladies to the test, and what they did with their extra time will surprise you. First up, young adults, let's get to them. Across the country, they are under so much pressure to appear perfect. Experts say that they are drowning, and they have never seen anything like it. What's going on? Six students from the University of Pennsylvania, six from MIT, four from Tulane, four from William and Mary, three from Appalachian State, all died from suicide just within the last school year. What is going on? We used to say that young adulthood, and college in particular, was a time of challenge, discovery, and growth, the best four years of a young person's life. But today, college counselors say more than half their students have severe psychological problems. The most common diagnosis, anxiety and depression. Almost one third of all college students say they felt so depressed, they had trouble functioning. More than 80% felt overwhelmed, 45% felt helpless. No wonder, according to the CDC, suicide is now the second leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 15 and 24. What's so wrong that they are in so much pain, with no place to turn, even to the point of suicide? Today, messages of hope that can help end the mental health epidemic that's threatening an entire generation of America's young adults. Today we're putting a face on this crisis, and Eliza's a student at Brown University who has struggled with severe anxiety. I remember being in school and feeling a lot of pressure, intense pressure. I would think it would be something similar to what you're experiencing now, but it appears to be different for you and your friends. How so? You know, I think there are lots of reasons why students today are experiencing pressure in college. Largely at elite universities, students were one of the very best among their peers in high school, if not the best, the valedictorian. And then they come to a school like Brown, which is where I go to school, and suddenly they're this small fish in this enormous sea of really intelligent people, and they feel like they just can't compete and can't quite compare. And that can be really overwhelming and result in enormous internal stress, anxiety, depression, all sorts of mental health issues. So this issue of being a small fish in this new environment, it's not new. It's something that I went through, and I think a lot of folks, whether they go to school or work or whatever, you're a big deal when you're growing up because your parents make it seem like you're a big deal. I'd love to understand more how that's causing you anxiety. I think you're surrounded by people who, yes, you know rationally that everyone around you is not perfect, but everyone is really good on putting up a front and appearing really, really confident and that they have it all put together. And in that environment, you never quite feel like you're enough. So you did something very brave. You asked for help. A lot of young people are not asking for help. What made you take that step? I'm very fortunate in that I have a, I'm very close with my family and they serve as a really strong support network for me. And they, I feel very comfortable going to them and sharing with them that I needed some extra help. And it was apparent to them as, and that's certainly not the case for everyone. People are really good at putting on a front and asking and pretending, not pretending, appearing as though everything is okay when it's not. And I think that saying those three words, I need help, is really, really difficult to do. People see that as a sign of weakness, even though it's not, and they don't want to appear that way. And in addition to that, I think that people don't want to burden others. But I mean, I would certainly encourage all others to accept the fact that you're not burdening anyone by asking for help. And it's important and necessary and you deserve it. Well, a lot of young people aren't. Thank you very much for your story. The people who aren't asking for help sometimes do terrible things to themselves. 23 young adults at colleges across this country died by suicide in just a 13 month period. One of them was 19 year old Madison Halloran, who was a student at UPenn. Madison Halloran's father, Jim, is here along with his daughter and Madison's sister, Carly. I know this is a painful conversation. Thank you for being here. So it's been a year and a half since you lost Madison. How's the family doing, Jim? I think we're doing okay. Again, it's devastating to have lost Madison. I'm in therapy weekly because I need help now to help cope and to help the family stay together and be as strong as they can. So this is very personal to me for another reason. My daughter Zoe, same age as your daughter, I knew her. And they would go to parties together. And I actually first heard of her loss from my daughter. I think many in her class were shocked by this. They had not expected Madison to be the one who wouldn't ask for help and would struggle. Did you have any idea she was under this pressure? At UPenn, we did. And as soon as we could start counseling when she got home for the break, we got her into therapy. And I think it was helping her. And our plan was to continue that at UPenn. Actually, I was gonna go down there. She told me where she knew where a psychiatrist was, but she hadn't made an appointment. I said, well, Madison, I'm coming down. And you and I are gonna go there together because you know you need help. So she took this picture of Rittenhouse Square. It's a beautiful part of Philadelphia. This is actually the last picture that she had posted. Right. When you see that image and what she was probably looking at as she took it, what goes through your mind? I think she wanted the world to somehow see brightness in her last photograph. So I'm a dad and I completely empathize with the difficulty of trying to figure out what's going through our children's minds, especially daughters. Sometimes siblings actually know a lot more. So Carly, if I can ask you some of these, again, challenging questions. What was your perspective on what Madison was going through in college? She was excited to leave, to go to school. So we were excited for her. And then I think it was a wake-up call when she got there. I don't think she realized the kind of pressure that she was going to be under. Like Eliza was saying, a lot of these people are valedictorians of their school and high school. And I think it was a huge wake-up call for her to go there and realize that she wasn't necessarily at the top anymore. She was part of the best of the best. Did you think that her friends in college were doing better than she was? I think she did. I think she compared herself a lot to them. And even her friends from high school, she would see on their social media and their Instagram, and it looked like they were having the best time of their lives. They were having fun and she didn't realize why she was different and why she wasn't experiencing the same thing as them. Did it ever cross your mind, wildest imagination, that you would lose your sister? Never. Really, not once. I noticed over Thanksgiving break that she wasn't her happy, bubbly self. She didn't seem like the normal Madison that we knew, but I never once thought that it would result in something like this. You shared a very painful story. What was your goal? What do you hope for people to gain? I think just awareness. I mean, we never thought that something like this could happen to Madison. Of all the people, even just in our family, we thought she would be the one to succeed, to have the most fun, to enjoy college the most. And it happened so quickly and so fast and to the person that we never thought it would happen to. So we just want people to know that you're not alone, especially these college kids. I think a lot of them are going through this and it's just important to tell somebody, anyone. So it's important for the families here to do just that. So we're gonna put a number up. It's the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. This number's gonna be on the front page of droz.com. If there's anyone you suspect might be at risk, and you heard it here, it won't always be super obvious. Ask the questions and then pass on that number. Thank you for watching. Don't forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss out on new videos to live the good life.