Cozy Fall Days in the Mountains

Fall is here in the mountains. The apples are turning red on the trees. My squash are ready to harvest in the garden. I've been spending a lot of time these past weeks in my kitchen baking and just preparing for the colder months ahead. I've also been writing a lot lately. My book comes out so soon you guys, which is honestly making me really nervous. Years ago when I really started falling in love with writing, I think I knew pretty quickly that it was what I wanted to do. Like nothing compared to getting completely lost in writing a story. I used to hear people talk about finding something they loved so much that they would forget to eat, forget to sleep. They would tell me that hours would pass and somehow it would feel like no time had passed at all. And I remember just never really understanding that, like who forgets to you know. I'd felt little glimpses of that like in the past while making a video or painting or just I don't know doing something creative but it never lasted very long. But then I started writing and suddenly I just understood exactly what these people were talking about. I could sit down to write in the morning and then look up and somehow it would be dark outside. I'd be thinking about the story while I was cooking, while I was driving, while I was laying awake unable to sleep at 2 a.m. I just, I don't know, I just completely fell in love with it. And the problem was I couldn't exactly stop doing everything else and become a writer. So for a while I just kind of loved it secretly I guess. I kept working and filming and posting videos and then somewhere behind all of that I was just always writing. And eventually I came up with this plan in my head. I told myself I would keep filming until my first novel came out. And then maybe somehow the book would make enough money that I could spend my time writing the next one. Which looking back was probably a pretty ridiculous plan. I mean I don't know who writes a book and just assumes it's going to work. But that was kind of my secret dream even though I wouldn't say that out loud. Anyways, so I ended up signing a publishing deal for my first novel. And the release date they gave me was like years away. And I remember feeling a little discouraged by that. I still love making videos and I still do but my heart wasn't in it anymore you know. And suddenly the thing I really wanted to do was still years away. But I kept going because what else was I going to do? And then a year passed. Things with the publishing companies started getting really difficult. And eventually I made what probably looked like a very stupid decision for someone trying to become a writer. I walked away from the publishing deal. And I know some of you are probably thinking, Isabel what the heck? Why would you do that? Because it was a good deal financially. It was the kind of deal that would have allowed me to quit filming and become a writer. There was a lot of money attached to it and walking away meant giving that up and starting over completely on my own. But the longer I stayed in it, oh my gosh, I just realized I was making decisions about this book because of the money. And then I realized if I had spent all these years dreaming about finally getting to write, finally getting to do what I really wanted to do, what was the point if I got there and then still wasn't able to do what I wanted to do? You know, I love this book so much. And yeah, the money just wasn't worth sacrificing the quality of it. I decided to self publish instead, which has been terrifying in a completely different way, because now there's no publishing company behind it. There's no safety. It's just me ordering a bunch of books and just hoping that they sell. And now the release date is almost here. And I am just terrified because for so long, it was this distant thing I kept waiting for this point in my life that felt years away. And now it's a few weeks away. And I'm terrified. But I do know that when this book comes out, it's going to be the book I really wanted to make. And for that, I am proud. As the days get colder and darker, I always notice myself slowing down and spending more time inside. And I feel like when things get quieter, stuff you've been avoiding has a way of catching up with you. That's one of the reasons I think having someone to talk to can be really helpful, especially during these colder months, which is why I'm very excited to be partnering with BetterHelp, the sponsor of today's video. One thing that therapy has really taught me is that I tend to be kind of an avoidant person. And when an uncomfortable emotion comes up, I'll just try to fix it or distract myself from it. And sometimes all you need to do is just sit with it, you know. And that's something that I learned through just kind of talking it out with the therapist. And it was really helpful for me because I realized that, yeah, I just, I tend to avoid my emotions for some reason. Like as soon as something uncomfortable comes up, I'm like, ooh, I don't like that. I'll just scamper away. Anyways, BetterHelp makes starting therapy easy and accessible wherever you are, whether that's online or through the app. You just fill out a quick questionnaire, and then you'll get matched with a licensed therapist. And you can talk to them in whatever way is most comfortable for you, whether that's phone, video, or text. Just click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com slash Isabel to get 10% off your first month of therapy. One of my absolute favorite ways to preserve apples is make apple butter. Apple butter is basically applesauce, but you just cook it for like six hours on a really low heat on the stove. And it gets this like really rich, caramely thick texture. It is so delicious. I made so much last fall. And then I ended up eating it like almost every day until I ran out of it. It probably lasted me around six months, but I would like spoon a bunch onto Greek yogurt and then sprinkle nuts and seeds on top. And it was what I ate every day for breakfast. So anyways, this year I am making as much as I possibly can, just because it is truly a staple in my life. I just love it. I am like actually addicted to apple butter. There's just so many things that you can do with it. I put it in cinnamon rolls this week. I also made these like twisted knot rolls from brioche dough. And those were so good. Those were like eating a fluffy apple pie. Oh my goodness. And then also this week I pressed a lot of my apple harvest into cider. And then I use that cider in place of milk in a coffee cake recipe, which was so good. Oh my goodness. I cannot tell you how delicious this coffee cake was. It was like a apple pie coffee cake. I would highly recommend trying this. Just replace any liquid in a recipe with apple cider and it becomes the most delicious thing you'll ever have in your entire life. I've also been getting back into this routine of recipe testing and planning my bakery. It has been such a long time that I've wanted to start this bakery and it is so close. I just need to finish the house and that will finally allow me to start it. I'll probably be able to like early next spring, which is just so exciting. This house build has been just an enormous project and has almost killed me at times. But yeah, I just love fall so much. I love the colder air and it's the best time to bake something and share food with the people you love. It's the season of darkness. It's the season to let go of the version of ourselves that exists in summer and turn inwards. Start thinking about setting new goals for ourselves. Start thinking about who we want to be as we enter into a new season of our lives. We can ask ourselves that. Who do we want to be as the seasons change and as we change? Anyways, thank you guys so much for watching this video and yeah, I'll see you all next week. Okay, buh-bye.