Being Nice Teaches Men to Ignore You

Alright ladies, what if being too nice is often the reason that the man you date stop taking you seriously. You tell him that you prefer making plans ahead of time, but when he texts you at 8, asking to see you at 9, you rearrange your whole evening. He shows up 30 minutes late, and you say, don't worry about it. You want to be understanding, but you keep showing him that what matters to you can always wait. He gets to see you on his terms while you're still waiting to feel considered. However, you can be warm, loving, and considerate, Without making your own needs optional. My name is Ismael Gomez and today I'm going to show you what being overly nice teaches a man to ignore what you need and what you can do instead without becoming cold or difficult. Okay? So let's begin. Being nice is expected. You'll never hear a man say I love her because she's the nicest woman I've ever met. Would you describe the man you love as nice? Probably not. Nice is how you describe your co-worker, your neighbor, the guy who holds the door at the coffee shop, when a man talks about He says things like, she's so different, the woman he can't she gets me, even she drives me crazy sometimes. stop thinking about. Nice doesn't come up because it's expected, but a lot of women think that if you're sweet enough, he's going to see how good you are and finally choose you. You laugh at the joke that wasn't funny, and he asks, what do you want to do this weekend? And you say, whatever you want. You think you're showing him what a great partner you would be, but what he sees is just a woman who's pleasant on a date. Now, ladies, I'm not saying I'm not telling you to be rude, okay? A lot of you take this to the extreme. I would never be with a woman who wasn't kind. But being kind is where it starts. It's not the thing that makes him think about you on a Tuesday afternoon. So whenever men ask you what do you want to do, give them a real answer. Let them see that you have opinions, that you have your own taste. Because being agreeable can keep a date enjoyable. It doesn't tell him what makes you interesting. You give him too much credit for his low effort. If there's something that I see a lot in coaching is women celebrating the bare minimum as if this man was doing anything special. He replies quickly to a text, though he remembers a small detail about something that you said, and suddenly you feel reassured about the whole connection. Now there's nothing wrong with appreciating those things. You don't need to become hard to please or pretend that a thoughtful message didn't make you smile. But notice how much one action changes what you're willing to accept, because maybe he hasn't made a plan to see you But now he remembers something important that you said last week and you tell me, look, Ismael, he really cares. And maybe he does. But remembering what you said last week does not solve the fact that he's not making time to see you. And every time you reward the small thing, he learns that the small thing is enough. Also, the problem is not that he remembered this thing and then you said thank you. It's that you wanted to know, is he building something with me? And the only thing that he's showing you is, look. I remember what you said last week, and those are two completely different things. It means that you treated his low effort as enough reason to keep investing even when the connection was not moving forward. The key is not just how often he shows up, it's how he shows up, and whether his actions actually match the relationship that you want. So appreciate the small actions, thank him for remembering, but don't let one thoughtful moment erase everything that you're still not receiving. When a man is truly interested in you, he will be emotionally available and make his feelings obvious to you. The connection will flow effortlessly, reflecting mutual understanding and trust. He won't confuse you with mixed signals or inconsistency. He will hold your hand and tell you, I am going in this direction. Are you coming with me? You let frustration build for too long. You're trying to be so easygoing, that by the time you speak up, nothing about the conversation feels easy. He cancels a date and you're disappointed, but you say no worries. You also wish that between dates you heard more from him, but you don't mention anything about it. Then a few weeks later he cancels once again, and you respond, do you even want to see me? You always cancel, I'm always the one trying, you barely text, why am I even doing this? And what happened was that everything you've Anything you've been holding in, Comes out all at once. And you bring in four weeks of frustration into a conversation that he thinks is only about tonight. So from his perspective, he responds, why are you making such a big deal out of this? And you think, see, every time that I say what I need, I'm too much. So you go quiet again and now the cancellations, the original issue that you were trying to discuss is not being addressed anymore. Now both of you are having a fight about your reaction. Now let me clarify that the fact that you want regular contact is completely reasonable and speaking angrily does not make those concerns disappear and it doesn't give them permission to dismiss them. But it's so much easier to explain what's bothering you before you're already fed up. So after the first cancellation, you can say I was looking I'm looking forward to seeing you, but I understand. But after the second cancellation, you can show your boundary by saying, hey, this is the second cancellation. I'd like you to choose a day you can commit to. Then notice whether he listens and follows through or he completely dismisses what you said. So again, the main point here is stop waiting until you can't take it anymore to admit that something is not working for you. Giving space makes you uncomfortable. Many times you notice that a man seems overwhelmed and maybe he's hinting that he wants an evening to himself. But what a lot of you do is you start looking for something that you can do for him. Do you want me to come over? Do you want me to bring you something to eat? And he says, no, I'm okay. And you keep insisting. And sometimes the uncomfortable part for many of you is that it's not only that he needs space, it's that for tonight, he doesn't need anything from you. There's nothing to help with, nothing to fix. But you feel that maybe he's pulling away, so you find a reason to text him. And maybe you send him something funny, or you check whether he ate, and you remind him that you're here if he needs you. And the problem is that you've become so used to showing your value, Only by being helpful, that giving space can feel like you're losing your place in his life. Subconsciously, you think that if I'm not doing anything for him, what keeps me important? So instead of just letting him have the whole evening to himself, when you also do your thing, you focus on your own life, you keep showing how easy, supportive, and available you can be. In your own evening, you barely enjoy it because you're waiting to see whether he responds. That's where being nice starts costing you. You're giving attention that he hasn't asked Let yourself find out whether he wants your company when you're not offering to do something for him. Alright ladies, so being nice shouldn't mean hiding your opinions, accepting less than you want, or always finding a way to be useful. So notice what happens when you really like a man. It's every action that you take because you really want to, but sometimes you have the concern that maybe I should do this so he doesn't lose interest. And I know that this can be confusing, especially when you're watching so much content and people telling you different things, but what I want you to understand is that you can be warm, loving, and considerate, While still saying exactly what you want, and letting him make an effort for you. And if you're thinking, Ismael, I don't have an issue with getting a man's attention, it's just that they always give me the bare minimum. Then go and watch my video why men give you the bare minimum, even when they like you. My editor is going to leave you the link somewhere up here, so you can click on it. Anyways, thank you for subscribing to my channel, and remember that for your relationships to change, you need to change. Have a beautiful day.